Chapter 8: Dust in the Flame 01
It was not yet dawn, and there was almost no light on the street except the dim street lights.
Ning Qiyuan drove the car at the fastest speed and turned on the heater. But for some reason, I couldn't feel any warmth in my body, as if I was in the ice and snow, and every word the policeman said to me echoed clearly in my ears.
"We found your friend Jiang Sijin. She was in a serious car accident. When we received the report, she was already dead."
"After our investigation, Jiang Sijin is also suspected of kidnapping and murder. Not only did she kidnap a rich girl named Xiao Yu, but she also hit and injured a boy named Li Anran. Xiao Yu was only slightly injured, but Li Anran is still in emergency treatment and the situation is not very optimistic."
"You are Jiang Sijin's friend. The police need you to cooperate with our investigation and find out what happened."
…
I was so shocked and heartbroken that I still doubt whether I heard it wrongly. Car accident, kidnapping, murder, how could these words be related to Jiang Sijin?
How could this be possible for such a beautiful Jiang Sijin ?
"Qiyuan, do you believe what the policeman said?" I looked at Ning Qiyuan who was driving in confusion.
Ning Qiyuan looked at me, his eyes full of heartache, but he didn't say a word.
Soon, we arrived at the hospital. After getting off the car, I went straight to the morgue.
The police were already waiting there, and they led me to see Jiang Sijin.
When I saw her lying coldly on the ice bed, her once beautiful face turned extremely pale and lifeless. Thinking that this person in front of me could no longer smile at me or call my name angrily, my tears instantly burst out.
A few months ago, I saw my father in the morgue; now, a few months later, I saw my best friend Jiang Sijin again in this cold place.
My emotions reached a peak all of a sudden. I didn't care about the people around me and cursed at Jiang Sijin who was not breathing, even though I knew she couldn't hear me anymore: "Why? Why? Why did you do such a thing?"
"Do you hate Li Anran to that extent? Do you want to die with him?"
"Is it worth sacrificing yourself for a person like that?"
"Now he's not dead yet, but you're already lying here. Don't you think it's not worth it at all?"
"Do you regret it now?"
I squatted beside her, crying my eyes out. The most painful things in life can be summed up in eight words: birth, old age, sickness, death, love, hate, separation, and the few people closest to me, except Ning Qiyuan, seemed to have left one by one.
In one’s life, do we have to constantly welcome the arrival of others and see others off?
I suddenly thought of the dream I had before dawn. It turned out that Jiang Sijin who appeared in my dream was saying her final farewell to me.
Ning Qiyuan hugged me tightly, just like when my father died, and I collapsed in his warm embrace. But this warmth could not warm my heart.
At this moment, a burst of hurried footsteps came from the corridor outside, approaching from far away.
I felt a gust of wind coming from behind me. When I looked up, I saw Lin Zhan and Lin Xiang, whom I hadn't seen for a long time.
Lin Zhan stumbled in and bumped into me accidentally, tripping and falling on the cold floor.
"Ah Zhan!" Lin Xiang, who was following behind, screamed in fright.
Lin Zhan acted as if he didn't hear anything. He got up and looked at Jiang Sijin quietly. When he turned around to look at me, his face was full of tears. He asked me, "Sister Shuchen, she...really...really..." He was choked with sobs and couldn't speak anymore.
I opened my eyes but didn't dare to nod.
Then, I heard Lin Zhan crying loudly. He curled up like a child, his hands tightly grasping the white cloth covering Jiang Sijin, and his whole body was shaking violently.
It is so cruel to watch the person you love and care about turn into a cold corpse. She left without a care, but we who are still alive have to endure such pain. In the days and nights to come, we can only rely on memories to miss her.
We couldn't stay in the morgue for too long, the police would take us for questioning. I then realized that Lin Zhan was also called in by the police because he had helped Jiang Sijin find Li Anran. Although she was not an accomplice, she was also related to the case.
When leaving the morgue, Lin Zhan was still crying. If Lin Xiangqiang hadn't pulled him, he would have continued to stay with Jiang Sijin. If the person Jiang Sijin fell in love with was not Li Anran, but Lin Zhan who had never abandoned her and always followed her footsteps, then there would definitely not be this tragic ending now.
She loved passionately and died tragically.
I only hated myself for not going to the hospital to look for Jiang Sijin, and why I hadn't contacted her for a few days. She must have been very desperate when she decided to kidnap the rich girl and drive to hit Li Anran. If I had found her earlier and stayed by her side, she might not have been so desperate and would not have died.
When I walked out of the morgue, I wiped my tears and pushed Ning Qiyuan away coldly.
"Shuchen?" Ning Qiyuan looked at me puzzled, as if he didn't understand why I was like this.
I looked at him and was about to answer when I saw Lin Zhan rushing towards the open door of the emergency room like a madman, still shouting, "Li Anran, why don't you just die, why don't you just die!"
I looked carefully and saw that the person lying on the hospital bed and being pushed out was Li Anran.
The policeman who followed us saw this and immediately chased after him. When Lin Zhan was about to attack the unconscious Li Anran, he stopped him.
"Li Anran, you bastard! It's you who should die, it's you!"
Lin Zhan, who was caught, was still struggling hard, cursing non-stop. Lin Xiang was crying and trying to comfort him, but it was of no use. Looking at Lin Zhan's crazy look, my tears flowed again.
Lin Zhan was still young after all, and he could no longer make a scene when he was held down by two policemen. He gradually calmed down and then followed us to the police station to make a statement.
I've been to the police station many times, but this was the first time I was taken in for questioning. The people in the police station seemed to be afraid that we would be scared, so they picked a female police officer. But even so, the voice of the questioner was still cold. Jiang Sijin's name kept being mentioned, but when I thought that she was no longer in the same world as me, my heart was filled with sadness.
When I left the police station again, it was already daybreak. I looked at the bright sunshine shining down, and everything in front of me was bright. I just felt that the world was too cruel. I lost my friend, but the world would not change because of this. I was the only one who was sad and upset.
Ning Qiyuan was waiting for me outside. When he saw me coming out, he came over, held my hand, and asked me with concern: "Are you hungry? I'll take you to eat something."
I shook off his hand as if I had been electrocuted and quickly stepped back to distance myself from him.
"Shuchen?" He called me and frowned.
I looked at this handsome face and asked him with a trembling voice: "Qi Yuan, are you satisfied now?"
Are you satisfied?
In this world, there is really no one else around me except you.
"Shuchen, I know you are very sad now, I..."
I interrupted his extremely quiet voice and said, "You don't know! You are not me, how do you know how sad I am? Before I met you, I already knew Jiang Sijin. We grew up together and have a close relationship like sisters. How can you understand the relationship between her and me? Do you know that after you left, Jiang Sijin could have gone to the university she wanted to go to the most, but in order to accompany me, she came to Li City. If she hadn't come to Li City, she wouldn't have met Li Anran. If she hadn't met Li Anran, perhaps so many things would not have happened later..."
"If you hadn't stopped me from going to the hospital to look for her, she wouldn't be dead now. If I had been able to stay with her when she was in the most pain and despair, I would never have given her the chance to do such a thing, and I would never have let her fall into the situation she is in now..."
“When a person dies, there is really nothing left.”
I was crying as I spoke, and I felt that I was having trouble breathing. I covered my chest with my hands, but it didn't relieve the pain in my heart at all: "Qi Yuan, how can I face her in the future? How can someone like me be worthy of being her friend?"
Ning Qiyuan strode forward, stretched out his long arms, and held me tightly in his arms. His voice was a little dry: "Shuchen, I will do this for your own good..."
For my own good, for my own good?
I chuckled and struggled in his arms, trying to escape from him. But the more I struggled, the tighter he held me.
"You did it for my own good, but you made me watch my best friend die without being able to save her; you did it for my own good, but you made me live in guilt and regret for the rest of my life; you did it for my own good, but you made me so miserable... Ning Qiyuan, do you really love me?"
Do you really love me?
How could you bear to make me feel so guilty?
How could you bear to watch me lose my only friend?
Why is your love so cruel?
"Shuchen, I love you." Ning Qiyuan put his hand on the back of my head and let my head rest on his chest. His heartbeat and voice vibrated in my ears. "Soon, you will understand everything, and all the pain will end. Believe me."
I sobbed and said, "How can I trust you? Ning Qiyuan, I hate you a little bit..." But what I hate more is myself, my hesitation, my cowardice, and my powerlessness.
