Chapter 8 Are You the Right Person? Four
After dinner, I lied that I had something to do, left Xiaoyuan in the classroom, and wandered around the campus alone, too lazy to even tell the direction, walking aimlessly along a tree-lined path. The wind blew, and the dense green leaves above my head danced, making a rustling sound.
There are always such unexpected storms in the early summer afternoons in City C.
As I was thinking this, a flash of white lightning struck down, followed by raindrops falling densely on my hair.
I tilted my head back and let the raindrops fall on my head, as if only in this way could I wash away those unknown memories that I never wanted to touch.
Hexue, you at that time, you who loved someone wholeheartedly, were you also like Xiaoyuan, looking forward to being in harmony with the person you loved and growing old together in the near future?
Unfortunately, later...
The rumble of thunder pulled me back from my irretrievable memory. I raised my hand and touched my face, but I couldn't tell whether it was rain or tears. I stumbled forward along the bluestone path , and suddenly someone reached out and grabbed my arm.
"Why do you want to get wet in the rain?" His tone was full of reproach.
I looked up and saw Xu Yun’s face, which was still handsome even when he was angry.
"Take off your wet coat quickly." He pulled me into the pavilion nearby, took off my coat without saying a word, and then wrapped his own coat around me.
I let him manipulate me like a puppet.
He was probably frightened by my lifeless appearance, so he leaned down to look into my eyes. He looked at me intently and for a long time, as if my eyes contained all the beauty he wanted.
Then, I heard his lonely and self-deprecating voice. He said, "Hexue, do you know how I tried every possible way to find out your whereabouts and how I walked through most of the campus to find you? You probably think I'm crazy, right? But what can I do? I know I shouldn't have asked you if you liked me last night on the mountain. I know that question embarrassed you, so I came to say sorry."
I looked at him blankly, not understanding what he was saying.
He looked at me quietly for a long time, then sighed as if accepting his fate and said, "I know that the person you like is Hua Ziyin, right?"
The thunder came closer and closer, as if it was exploding right next to my ears. I looked at his moving lips and heard every word he said clearly, but it seemed to make me even more confused.
He looked at me with those sad eyes and said firmly, "The person you like is Hua Ziyin, right?"
I don't know how Xu Yun came to this conclusion, but it's ridiculous. How could I possibly like Hua Ziyin, who holds my secrets, has ulterior motives, threatens me at any time and anywhere, and changes his face at any time? He just pretended to forget to take the selection test in order to qualify for the competition, he just blocked a punch for me when I had a conflict with a classmate, he just blocked the rain for me once, how could I like him?
No, no, it must be Xu Yun who made a mistake.
I denied it almost without hesitation: "No, I would never like Hua Ziyin no matter who I like."
"So, do you like me?" Xu Yun asked eagerly and directly, as if he would ask this no matter what answer I gave.
I thought about it, nodded slowly, and then shook my head firmly in his surprised eyes.
Yes, I know very well that the boy in front of me who looks clean and warm does not like Song Hexue who I pretend to be, but the real me, Song Xihe.
When all the efforts and hard work were in vain, and when the expected results developed in a direction that I could not accept at all, there was no need to continue the show. I was ready to confess everything to him, but deep down I was so sad and unwilling.
Hexue, do you still remember?
I once told you so coldly that some things are useless just by hard work, such as love. But what you don't know is that when I said that to you, I really wanted you to prove to me that I was wrong. So after you left, I wanted to become you like crazy, to prove to my former self that I was wrong. However, in the end, it still happened...
It’s raining so hard today, are you crying in the sky?
But, I still feel unwilling to give up!
You are so silly, so kind, so considerate , and try your best to love someone, so why does that person still not love you in the end?
"So, do you like Song Hexue?" I stared into Xu Yun's eyes, like a dying person making his last effort.
"Hexue, of course I like you." Xu Yun answered quickly.
I knew he didn't understand what I meant at all.
"No!" I shook my head and said resolutely, desperately, word by word, "It's not me. It's Song Hexue from Baisha School, Grade 1, Class 2, 'Feather Tribe Crane Snow Technique'."
I stared into his eyes as I said this, not missing any of the subtle changes in his eyes. I thought he would at least show a little surprise, but he didn't.
He just looked at me quietly, his eyes full of emotions that I couldn't understand. Finally, his bright eyes gradually dimmed, and sadness swept through his eyes like a storm.
"You remembered?" I looked at him with gritted teeth, "I thought you wouldn't even remember the existence of someone like her."
He seemed to be afraid to look me in the eye and lowered his head in silence. I don't know how long it was, but when he raised his head again, something sparkling in his eyes.
He said, "How could I not remember? I will probably never forget it until I die."
When he said this, his voice was trembling and ethereal, as if it came from another world, and as if what was standing in front of me was just his body, and his soul had long since died of guilt.
But I would not be soft-hearted. I stepped forward, stared at him, and asked, "So, have you ever liked her at least a little bit? Don't lie!"
He was stunned, frowning in thought, and did not answer for a long time, as if he had already fallen into the abyss of memory, recounting every detail of the past in detail to find any possible clues.
After a long while, he answered, "No , I never liked her." He said this without any hesitation, "I'm sorry, I never liked the girl named Song Hexue."
The brutally honest answer.
The moment he gave the answer, I was both hoping and afraid that he would lie. I hoped that he would lie to deceive me and Hexue in the sky, but I was also afraid that he would lie. If he lied, then he would not be worthy of Hexue's reckless love.
I understand the truth, but no one lives their life like a complete collection of truths.
