Chapter 756 Night Talk (Part 2)
When Aunt Xue heard Li Wan calling her out, she remembered that Li Wan had just asked for her help, so she quickly calmed down, left the book "Shu Yu Ci" behind, and hurried to the outer room.
When she reached the outer room, she saw only Li Wan, who was dressed in thin clothes, standing alone in the misty living room. There was no sign of Suyun or other servants.
Aunt Xue couldn't help feeling a little puzzled. Looking at Li Wan's appearance, it was obvious that she had not bathed yet. Did she call her out just to help her take a bath?
This is not impossible, but what is the reason?
There should be a reasonable explanation for asking elders to help with bathing for no reason, right?
She took two steps forward suspiciously, and was just hesitating whether to ask for the truth, when she saw Li Wan untying the ties on her chest, half-jokingly saying in distress: "There were some marks left before, and I really don't dare to let others see them, so I have to trouble you, aunt."
As he spoke, he spread out his clothes to the left and right, revealing many blue, purple and red marks.
Aunt Xue was startled at first, and then two red spots appeared on her cheeks.
If it were an innocent girl, she might be frightened by these traces, but when Aunt Xue saw them, she imagined a fierce battle on the other side of the wall.
His breathing suddenly became heavy and he even forgot to respond to Li Wan's request.
Seeing this, Li Wan stopped asking questions and took off all her restraints. She immersed herself in the warm bathtub and let out a breath of air with relief.
Aunt Xue came to her senses at this time, and hesitantly picked up a bath brush, dipped it in soap and perfume, and began to scrub her shoulders carefully.
Li Wan snorted a few times with enjoyment, then slowly closed her eyes, mumbling to herself, "When Lan was still little, I always felt that he couldn't live without me. Later, as he grew up, I realized that it was not him who couldn't live without me, but I, as his mother, couldn't live without him."
"It's better during the day, but at night I feel empty inside and nothing can fill it."
If other people heard these words, they would just be some sad complaints, but to Aunt Xue, she felt a deep empathy.
After her husband died, Aunt Xue devoted all her attention to her children, especially her eldest son Xue Pan, whom she held in her hands for fear of dropping him, and held in her mouth for fear of melting him.
At first, he was careless and caused trouble everywhere. Aunt Xue was worried about him and hoped that he would be more sensible and get married and have children.
But when Xue Pan got married and obtained a proper official position, Aunt Xue felt as if a piece of her heart was taken away, and the emptiness could not be filled.
Especially after Xue Pan got married, the family became restless, so she didn't want to stay in Zijin Street any longer and lived under someone else's roof all day.
Although she is accompanied by her daughter and sister, she can’t help feeling lonely when no one is around late at night.
Therefore, in the past two years, the husband who had been dead for many years and whose face was blurred had appeared in her dreams again and again.
When that damn ghost was still around, I didn't feel very happy.
But now when I think back on it, it is sweet and bitter, and I can’t help but linger...
"ah!"
A cry of pain suddenly frightened Aunt Xue so much that she trembled. Only then did she realize that she had forgotten the seriousness of the matter in her trance.
She took the bath brush out of the water and didn't know what to say. Suddenly, she saw Li Wan chuckle, then quickly covered her lips, her face flushed.
Aunt Xue was puzzled by her laughter and said awkwardly, "I was distracted for a moment and hurt you."
Li Wan shook her head, slowly turned her eyes away, looked at the door and murmured to herself, "It's strange, at that time I just wanted him to be cruel, but now I can't stand the pain at all."
Aunt Xue naturally knew what she meant. Her face couldn't help but flush, and she subconsciously looked at the bruise.
For a moment, the two women were speechless, their eyes were blurred, and no one knew what they were thinking.
After a long while, Li Wan asked casually, "Aunt, how did you entertain yourself when you were lonely in the past?"
According to her original thoughts, Aunt Xue should have said some common words that women use to vent their feelings, and guide Li Wan back to the right track and stop being obsessed with the affair.
But after all the emotion she had just expressed, she really didn't feel like talking about these empty words, so she shook her head: "What else can I do? We're just going to have to get through this. Even if we don't care about our relationship as husband and wife, we should still consider our children - just wait a little longer, until Brother Lang passes the imperial examination, gets married and has children, then you'll always be busy!"
As he spoke, he couldn't help but show some longing and anticipation on his face.
But there is also a hint of sadness.
After all, my daughter-in-law has been married for more than two years, but there has been no news - you know, she had given birth to two children before, so there is no reason why she couldn't get pregnant.
Just as I was feeling complicated, I suddenly felt a wet hand reaching out and gently caressing the corner of my eyes.
Aunt Xue subconsciously raised her head and avoided it, looking at Li Wan with displeasure, but saw that Li Wan's white arms were hanging in the air, and two wet fingers were gently twisting, as if she was pinching something.
"Yes, I used to be like my aunt, always thinking about my children and grandchildren."
Li Wan stared at her hands and murmured to herself, "But there is still... a void in my heart - after all, I am a mother, but I am also a woman of flesh and blood."
"Why is it that other people can follow their husbands, but I have become a lonely and helpless widow just a few days after getting married?"
"I have dreamt of that dead ghost so many times. I cried, laughed, and begged, but I could never get even a finger from him."
"Gradually he became blurred, and my heart became more and more empty..."
As Aunt Xue listened to the whispering confession, her heart seemed to be gripped by something, shrinking tightly inward, yet it felt empty and she couldn't reach the bottom.
She knew that feeling very well!
However, when Li Wan changed the subject and said in a trembling voice, "Until one day, I..." Aunt Xue still spoke up in time to scold her, "Fool! Don't forget that you are the eldest lady of Rongguo Mansion, and you are also the mother of Brother Lang! Besides, Bao..."
In a moment of desperation, the name "Baoyu" almost slipped out of her mouth. Fortunately, Aunt Xue still had some reason and changed her words in time: "Besides, even if that man has a thousand good qualities, it is impossible for him to marry you. Instead, it will only ruin your reputation and ruin Lang'er's future!"
After a pause, she said sternly, "I promised you to keep it a secret from others, but you still have to listen to me and make the decision when necessary!"
Li Wan seemed stunned and didn't say anything for a long time.
But just as Aunt Xue breathed a sigh of relief and picked up the long-handled bath brush, ready to help her wash her body so as to end this awkward conversation as soon as possible, Li Wan cast her eyes on her face again - to be precise, on the wet mark at the corner of her eye.
Aunt Xue saw her staring at her and subconsciously raised her hand to wipe away the wet mark. But before she put her hand down, she heard Li Wan sigh again, "I thought you were just being modest, but when I touched it just now, I realized that there are indeed some crow's feet."
Aunt Xue froze, feeling the slight wrinkles at her fingertips. An indescribable feeling surged in her heart, like anger, shame, and a little sadness.
Although they were just a few inconspicuous fine lines, these days they became an indelible shadow in her heart.
The reason why I always mention it is just to get a denial from you so that the panic in my heart can be relieved a little.
But at the moment, this uneasiness was ruthlessly exposed by Li Wan.
Naturally, the shock this brought to Aunt Xue was difficult for ordinary people to understand.
But Li Wan's heart-wrenching words did not end yet, and she continued, "If some time passes and your aunt really loses her youth, will you regret it?"
"regret?"
Aunt Xue asked back subconsciously.
"Yeah, I regret it."
A look of confusion flashed across Li Wan's face, as if she was talking to Aunt Xue, or as if she was talking to herself: "When you are no longer young and Aunt Yi'er is playing with her grandchildren, will you feel some regret that you didn't put aside all your worries and be a woman for once?"
As she spoke, she gently stroked the red marks on her body, her tone becoming more ethereal: "Even if only once, let the man I love, a real man with flesh and blood, fill that empty space..."
"Stop talking!"
Aunt Xue suddenly interrupted Li Wan with a low roar, staring at her with her almond-shaped eyes and scolding her: "You are also well-educated and well-mannered, but how...how can you have the nerve to say such things?!"
"Forget this nonsense as soon as possible, or don't blame me for being ruthless!"
As he said that, he threw the long-handled brush into the bathtub and went into the inner room without looking back.
Li Wan watched her leave silently, but she felt relieved in her heart - given Aunt Xue's usual gentle temperament, how could she be so indignant if she was not angry and humiliated?
Since she was angry because of shame, it meant that the words just now had actually touched upon something deep in her heart.
I just don't know who Aunt Xue was thinking of just now...
