When I got home, the lights in the shop outside were off. I went in through the side door and found someone sitting in the yard.
There were no lights on in the yard. I walked closer and realized that the person sitting there was Dad. Grape was lying at his feet, as if she was asleep.
I walked over, he looked up and saw me, patted the stool beside him, and said, "Sit with Dad for a while, it seems like we haven't had a chat alone for a long time."
"It's not a long time, it's not at all..." I corrected him speechlessly.
My memory of my parents is very vague. When I was young, I thought they were just guests who occasionally visited our home. Later, when I was a little older, I realized that they were the ones who gave birth to me.
They always came and left in a hurry. I had only seen parents and children talking to each other on TV. I thought, they must be the legendary parents of other people.
"Haha, it's Dad's fault." Dad reached out and patted my shoulder, saying with emotion, "My little girl has grown up."
"Hey, what's that adjective?"
I seem to understand a little bit why mom and dad always argue all day long, because dad's choice of words is really terrible.
"Okay, don't worry about the details. Shan'er, tell dad, have you ever blamed Dad and Mom for always leaving you at home?" Dad suddenly became serious, his tone was very serious.
"To be honest, no." I shrugged. "I know it's strange. If you never have expectations, you won't feel disappointed."
"As a girl who hasn't enjoyed the love of her parents for eighteen years, shouldn't you be rebellious? Shouldn't you swear to be the public enemy of mankind and destroy the earth?" After being serious for a few moments, the father's true nature was once again exposed.
"Dad, are you a child?" I really wanted to despise him if this person was not my dad.
"Haha, just kidding." Dad said with a smile, "But it seems that your grandfather taught you well and didn't let you grow up in a crooked way."
"Yes, grandpa loves me very much and cares for me very much." I was raised by my grandpa since I was a child. In my heart, grandpa is equal to my father and my mother.
"You know what? After you were born, your mother and I were too busy with work to take care of you. Plus, your grandfather called me every day, asking me to come back and inherit the fan shop..." Dad paused here, "So one day, I couldn't stand it anymore , so I packed a few clothes and brought you back here. I told your grandfather, 'Don't call me anymore. Don't you want an heir? I've sent you back.'" Dad smiled, his voice seemed a little choked up, "Thinking about it now, I was really an asshole at that time."
"And what happened next?"
I suddenly became curious. I didn't expect there was such a story.
"Later, your grandfather didn't say anything to me or scold me. He just hugged you and said to me, 'Go away. The farther the better. It's better if you never come back.'" Dad reached out and pressed my shoulder. "You don't know, the look in his eyes when he looked at you was extremely kind."
"And then?" I couldn't wait for him to continue, so I had to ask him.
"Then I left." Dad's tone was somewhat innocent, without any awareness of being a jerk. "When you were three years old, your mother and I came back to see you, and your grandfather proudly told us, 'The girl's name is Su Shan'er, and she will definitely become a fan maker better than me in the future.'"
Hearing this, my heart skipped a beat and my eyes got a little hot. Grandpa had never said this to me before, but he had put all his expectations into my name.
"That day, your mother talked to your grandfather for a long time. Your mother didn't want your life to be bound by this small fan. She hoped that you could live as you please. After your grandfather listened, he didn't refute, but just sat alone in the yard for a long time." Dad sighed, "Sometimes I really hope he would scold me, so that I would feel less guilty."
"Why do you feel guilty? Is it because you are avoiding the responsibility that belongs to you?" Somehow I asked this question.
Dad was a little surprised, then he laughed and said, "Aren't you very clear about it?"
It turns out that Jiang Huai did not lie to me. Even if I followed my heart and chose to evade responsibility, I would be defeated by this responsibility in the future.
"If time could go back, Dad, would you still make the same choice?" I couldn't help but ask him.
"I have never thought about this question, because if time could go back, maybe my lovely girl Shan'er would not be in this world." Dad said, "Shan'er, you have to remember, once you have made a choice, don't look back and think about the 'if'. There is no 'if' in this world. Whatever you choose, you must move forward firmly and firmly believe that your choice must be correct."
"Is the choice I made right?" I suddenly understood many things that were previously vague and unclear to me.
Yes, no matter which choice you make, there will be regrets and remorse, because there is no 100% happy path in the world.
The so-called life is made up of 50% happiness and 50% tears. Without the baptism of tears, how can happiness come?
So once you have made a choice, don’t regret it, because it is your own choice, so you must firmly believe that it is the right one.
If you don't even believe in yourself , who will believe in you?
"Thank you, Dad," I whispered. "Even though you're an asshole , I still want to thank you for telling me these words."
"As parents, there is actually very little we can do. Growth is the child's own business. Shan'er, you must remember that your mother and I will never interfere in your life. No matter what choice you make, we will support you behind your back." Dad said, standing up from the stool and stretching, "I'm so sleepy, Dad is going to bed."
"Good night, Dad," I said.
There were only Grape and I left in the yard. Grape was sleeping soundly, licking his mouth from time to time. He must be having a happy dream.
I returned to my room and took out a blank application form. At that moment, I felt that I could fill it in with my future without any regrets.
Early the next morning, Dujuan pulled me out of bed.
She pulled my arm and shook me, shouting, "Fan'er, get up, get up quickly!"
"ah?"
I slept in a daze. In fact, I had insomnia last night. I fell asleep just before dawn. I guess I had only slept for two hours when I was woken up by the cuckoo.
"Shan'er, accompany me to school to hand in the application form!" Du Juan looked at me and said with determination, "Let's go hand in the application form today!"
I was so shocked by her words that I lost my sleepiness. I sat up suddenly and looked at her in surprise: "Have you convinced your mother? Did she finally agree to let you go to college?"
"That would be great!" Du Juan said unhappily, "I have decided not to care about her opinion. My future is my own business and I don't want anyone to interfere. I have already filled out my application form and I have decided that after submitting it, I will go out to work and save money for tuition!"
"Dujuan, are you okay?" I was a little absent-minded, not knowing why Dujuan suddenly had such an idea. "Summer vacation is so short, how can I save up enough money for tuition?"
"That's better than doing nothing! Every penny saved counts. Anyway, I won't give up unless I resist once." Du Juan said firmly.
"Oh well."
I got up and went to brush my teeth and wash my face. Anyway, I had already filled out my application form, so I might as well hand it in as soon as possible. And once Du Juan made a decision, no one could pull her back, unless she gave up on her own.
However, I also don’t quite understand Du Juan’s mother’s idea. Du Juan had mentioned to her mother before that she wanted to go to college in Rongcheng like Jiang Huai, and then come back every day to learn embroidery from her, but Du Juan’s mother refused without even thinking about it.
I suddenly felt that I was really happy because my grandfather had never said anything to me that made me feel pressured.
After changing our clothes, Dujuan and I went out together with the volunteer forms.
On the way, Du Juan looked at my application form, smiled at me maliciously, and said, "Shan'er, you can do it."
"That's because, because..."
I felt a little embarrassed and my cheeks felt like they were on fire.
"Well, as your best friend, I know your thoughts very well. Don't explain anything, I understand everything." Du Juan waved her hand and said, "I really envy you, Shan'er, I am jealous of you again."
"Be jealous, but after you're done being jealous, you still love me."
I have nothing to fear.
Dujuan's face suddenly fell and she leaned her head on my shoulder.
"Shan'er, do you think my mother will understand me? Even if she can't understand me now, is it possible that she will understand me in the future?"
"Do you know my father's story? What my grandfather did to him was almost exactly what your mother is doing to you now. But now, my grandfather doesn't seem to blame my father. " I said, "The future is still a long way off. Since you have decided to do this, don't think too much. Anyway, you won't give up unless you go crazy once, right?"
"Hehe, Shan'er is the one who understands me." Du Juan looked at the scenery on both sides and said softly, "Actually, I love this street too."
After returning home from school after submitting my application form, I thought about it and decided to call everyone out. I chose to meet at the ice cream shop where we met last time because I wanted to help Du Juan realize her dream.
Dreams are actually precious things.
Xu Chenxi was the first to arrive, followed by Ming Qinghe, and Jiang Huai arrived on time.
"You are really punctual." I couldn't help but teasing him.
Who knew Jiang Huai said seriously: "Of course, time is very important, I am always on time."
"Let's not talk about that anymore. Let's get down to business." I brought the topic back to the point. "Dujuan and I submitted our application forms today. Dujuan's mother still doesn't agree with Dujuan going to college, but Dujuan has decided to work part-time to earn tuition and go to college on her own without relying on her family."
"But there's only one and a half months left in summer vacation, and tuition costs several thousand. I can't earn that much by working part-time, right?" Xu Chenxi was the first to discover the problem. "If I can't earn enough for tuition, won't that mean everything is back to square one?"
"So I called everyone here." I continued, "I want to work as a summer intern with Du Juan. There is strength in numbers. If one person is not enough, then two or three people will be enough. That way, it should be enough."
"Count me in." Ming Qinghe raised his hand with a smile, "I don't have anything to do during the summer vacation anyway, and Du Juan is my good brother and good friend, so I have to help my friends."
"It has come to this, how can I not participate?" Jiang Huai also said proudly, "Count me in, too."
"I don't want to leave the team. I am also Du Juan's good friend and sister. Let's cheer for Du Juan's future and dream together." Xu Chenxi grabbed Du Juan's hand, "If the five of us work together, we will definitely be able to earn enough tuition."
"You guys..." Du Juan's eyes were red, "Hey, you guys!"
"What's wrong?" Ming Qinghe tapped her head gently and said, "If you want to cry, just cry. Don't hold it in. It's so uncomfortable to hold it in."
"Pah!" Du Juan's tears, which were about to fall, were immediately stopped. She burst into laughter and said, "I like you guys the most!"
We decided to work together to help Du Juan save for her tuition, so we started looking for summer job opportunities. However, when we entered the society, we realized that we were really flowers living in a greenhouse, and we had no idea how hard life was in the society.
After three days of searching, we finally found a summer job in a large supermarket. Fortunately, the five of us could go together, and we got 800 yuan a month, one lunch a day, and worked from 8 am to 6 pm.
We were all very happy about our first job in life. Dujuan was especially excited because that was her tuition money.
I returned home and planned to share this exciting news with my mother, but when I opened the door, I found that my parents' suitcases were gone.
"They left just as you left the house." Grandpa's voice came from outside, "They said they were worried that you would be reluctant to let them go."
"All right."
I am speechless about my parents, but I have long been accustomed to them coming back and leaving suddenly, and it’s not like we will never see each other again, so I’m not sad at all.
I ran out, and my grandfather just happened to be holding a basin of washed grapes and placing them on the coffee table, saying, "Come and eat some grapes, Shan'er."
"Woof woof! "
Grape jumped out, wagging its tail, and excitedly circled around Grandpa.
Grandpa laughed twice and said, "It's not you, the grape."
"Grandpa, I've handed in my application form." I took a deep breath and decided to tell Grandpa everything. "After the summer vacation, please teach me how to make a fan."
The grape that grandpa was peeling rolled to the ground, and he opened his mouth and swallowed it.
Grandpa asked me uncertainly, "Teach you how to make a fan?"
"Yes, Grandpa, you know my grades. With such terrible scores, probably only Rongcheng University would be willing to admit me. From home to school, I only need to take a bus, so I don't want to live in the dormitory. Anyway, I come back every day. Grandpa, you can teach me how to make a fan by the way." I said with a smile.
"Ha ha."
Grandpa stood up and turned around with a smile. I saw his hand running across his face.
Later, I heard him say, "Grandpa's craftsmanship is not something that ordinary people can learn. That's why I don't want to teach ordinary people."
"I know, I know my grandfather is very powerful." I stuffed the peeled grapes into my mouth. The ripe grapes were very sweet.
This is probably the taste of happiness!