Some people can't tell what's good about it.
But no one can replace it.

After Lin Chujian’s engagement party, I felt a bit confused.
I thought I could forget those things I didn't want to face by working hard, but unfortunately, I still had to deal with Xu Yaxin and Lin Chujian in the next job. When working with them, Xu Yaxin was always intentionally or unintentionally intimate with Lin Chujian, and every action and expression made me extremely sad. As a result, I made several mistakes in my work, although they were not fatal, but they were enough to make Lin Chuyu furious.
People are really strange animals. Lin Chuyu, who scolded me harshly for my mistakes at work when I was in the company, immediately changed his face after leaving the company.
Just like at this moment, he stopped his car in front of me and asked, "Where are you going? I'll take you there."
"Manager Lin, I don't think we're going the same way." I refused.
"For me, there is no such thing as on the way or not, it's just whether I'm willing to give you a ride." Lin Chuyu spoke in the tone of a domineering president.
I really don't like people who take themselves too seriously. I couldn't help but roll my eyes in my heart and rejected him again.
But even though I had rejected him several times, Lin Chuyu was not discouraged at all. Every time I took a step forward, his car would move forward. Looking at the people coming and going around me, many of them were colleagues from our company. They saw the stalemate between Lin Chuyu and me, and I didn't know what rumors would be caused in the company.
Not wanting to cause more trouble in the company, I finally got into Lin Chuyu's car. I was about to explain it to him and told him not to say those confusing things to me, but he spoke first: "Li Ge, you don't have to hide from me. I've told you many times that since you and Lin Chujian are over, you might as well consider me. I can prove that I am more suitable for you than Lin Chujian."
"Manager Lin, please stop joking. I admire you at work, but that doesn't mean I think we will develop a personal relationship." I said seriously.
"Li Ge, Lin Chujian is already engaged to Xu Yaxin, what are you still dreaming about?" Lin Chuyu slowed down the car, held the steering wheel with his hands, looked straight ahead, his tone filled with repressive unwillingness and resentment.
I simply don't understand Lin Chuyu's feelings for me. He has shown his affection to me time and again, hoping that I can be with him, but when we were together, I couldn't feel that he liked me at all. I always felt that his kindness to me was a kind of competition.
Who was he fighting against? Lin Chujian? I didn't know. I just knew that I didn't want to get involved in the conflict between the brothers. And I wasn't the kind of person who could try to accept another relationship without forgetting someone.
As for forgetting, who knows when that will happen?
Perhaps the atmosphere in the car was too awkward. Not long after we started driving, I asked Lin Chuyu to stop the car on the pretext that I had something to do.
"Mr. Lin, I'm sorry to have taken up your time. Thank you!" I tried to open the car door in a panic.
The moment I opened the car door, I heard Lin Chuyu say, "No matter what your attitude is, I will definitely get you."
When I heard this, I ran away.
Lin Chuyu has many strengths at work, but even though we have worked together for such a long time, I still cannot see through him as a person, and I dare not get close to him, because every time I get close to him, I feel depressed and uneasy.
What's more, I still can't let go of Lin Chujian. Just like the song goes, some people are not good enough to explain, but no one can replace them.
That night I tossed and turned in bed for a long time, thinking about it and almost didn't sleep all night.
The next day, with a pair of dark circles under my eyes, I walked into Lin Chuyu's office, handed him a letter of resignation and said, "Manager Lin, I want to resign."
I thought Lin Chuyu would not let me go easily, but he stared at me for a while, then said coldly, "Okay."
I didn’t expect that my resignation would be so smooth. When I said goodbye to Sister Linda and Zhou Yao, they were both shocked, but they didn’t ask much, they just wished me all the best in the future.
After packing up my things and walking out of the company, I looked back at the familiar building. Thinking about how excited Yi Tian and I were at that time because we passed the interview here, and how we gradually became familiar with each other from the first day of work, it all felt like a dream.
Thinking back to when I first joined the company, I was ignorant and was often beaten up by all kinds of people in terms of my professionalism. Later, I developed a sense of teamwork, worked with everyone to complete the planning of a program, and followed up on the processes of all programs.
I don’t know if this kind of resignation can be considered reckless, but I always feel that once you have experienced it, there will always be something left behind.
I should still be grateful that I was able to stay in such a company for a while.
The days after leaving the company and becoming an unemployed vagrant were really empty, lonely and cold. I wandered around the campus every day with nothing to do. When I saw familiar people calling me "senior sister", I felt like I had grown old.
That day, I just walked out of the dormitory building and saw Li Qiuyang downstairs. He seemed to have been waiting there for a long time. When he saw me coming out, he stamped his feet, which were a little numb from standing, and trotted towards me with a heavy face. When he really stood in front of me, he looked like he wanted to say something but didn't.
"What's wrong?" I spoke first.
"Sister, why can't you get through to Yi Tian on the phone?" Li Qiuyang's tone was a little anxious.
When I heard him call me "sister", I immediately remembered the sarcastic comments from people around me after Zhou Yao revealed the relationship between me and Li Qiuyang at Lin Chujian's engagement party. My head started to ache: "Can you please stop calling me sister? My phone is out of battery, and usually no one looks for me, so I don't want to charge it. Yi Tian went out, and forgot her phone in the dormitory, so it must be out of battery too. If you want to look for her, wait here for a while."
"I'm not looking for her, I'm looking for you." Li Qiuyang said with a frown.
I was a little surprised: "Looking for me? What's the matter?"
Li Qiuyang seemed a little hesitant, and after a long while he managed to utter: "Dad is in the hospital, he wants to see you."
"What?" Although I still had resentment towards my father, when I heard that he was sick, all the resentment became unimportant. I grabbed Li Qiuyang's arm and asked anxiously, "When did it happen? What's the disease? Is it serious? What did the doctor say?"
I once thought that betrayal was a wound that could not be healed, but in the face of family affection, all wounds will heal silently.
I cared about the man I called dad, even if I didn't want to admit it.
"Sister..." Li Qiuyang paused, then continued, "Don't worry. The doctor said that Daddy is in the early stages of gastric cancer. As long as the lesion is removed, it won't spread. There won't be any major problems after recovery. Daddy didn't plan to tell you originally because he was worried that it would affect your work, but when he thought about the surgery tomorrow, Daddy was afraid of what might happen... He still wanted to see you before the surgery."
"Why didn't you tell me earlier? Since he told you not to, you didn't tell me?" When I heard the word "cancer", my mind went blank for a moment.
"I... I'm afraid you still hate your father." Li Qiuyang was silent for a while.
"Forget it, these are not important anymore. Let's go to the hospital to see Dad first." After saying that, I pulled Li Qiuyang out of the school, constantly comforting myself in my heart that fortunately it was only in the early stages of cancer.
Li Qiuyang and I took a taxi to the hospital. I urged the driver all the way and was scolded when I got off the car, but I was not angry at all. At this time, I just wanted to get to my father as soon as possible.
As soon as I walked into the inpatient department, I saw many patients walking around with drainage tubes inserted. I followed Li Qiuyang into the ward. Aunt Zhang was sitting by the bed chatting with Dad. When she saw me come in, her face darkened and she suddenly said to Dad, "Your filial daughter is here."
The word "filial piety" is emphasized.
Dad on the hospital bed looked relatively normal. Li Qiuyang also explained to me when he came that there was no problem before the operation except that he could not eat, just like a normal person. It was just that a drainage tube would be inserted in his body for a period of time after the operation, and it might be very painful in the early stages, and he would need someone to take care of him 24 hours a day.
Thinking about the man who once protected me from the wind and rain being tortured by illness, my eyes couldn't help but turn red.
I didn't want to quarrel with Aunt Zhang in this situation, so I ignored her provocation and walked directly to my father and said, "Dad, I've been too busy recently and haven't been back to see you. You should take care of yourself!"
"Being busy is not an excuse to avoid being filial." Aunt Zhang added.
I was a little confused. Doesn't this woman usually pretend to be gentle and virtuous? Why did she target me with every word she said today?
He glanced at Li Qiuyang and also looked helpless.
Some people, you can't avoid them even if you want to. But I didn't feel like arguing with her today: "I'm here to see my dad today, I don't want to quarrel with you."
Just because I don't want to cause trouble doesn't mean others will let me go.
"Do you mean I'm picking on you?" Aunt Zhang stood up and said to Dad, "Lao Li, look at your daughter. She can't stand a word from the elders! Tell me, during the time you had stomachache, who was watching over you with fear all day long? Who was busy taking care of you every day? If Qiu Yang and I hadn't discovered the problem and sent you to the hospital in time, the cancer might not have been in the early stages. And let's talk about your filial daughter. She has been away from home for such a long time. Has she ever called you to say hello? I don't understand. She is like this, why do you still think about her? For so many years, my mother and I have been wronged..."
"Okay, I'm not dead yet, what are you arguing about?" Dad was a little angry and stopped Aunt Zhang.
When Aunt Zhang saw that Dad was angry, she shut up angrily, but her face was still gloomy.
Hearing Aunt Zhang's words, I couldn't help but sneer, "You've been holding it in for so many years, pretending to be indifferent, and now your true colors are finally showing, right?"
"Li Ge, what nonsense are you talking about!" Aunt Zhang probably didn't expect me to say such a thing. She screamed in frustration, not caring whether my father was angry or not.
"If you want to quarrel, go outside. The patient will be having surgery tomorrow and needs to rest." The nurse who was giving an injection to the patient in the next bed shouted at us.
Aunt Zhang gave me a look, indicating that I should go out and talk, and Li Qiuyang followed her out.
In the stairwell, Aunt Zhang said straight to the point: "Li Ge, your father's condition is in the early stages, but no one can predict what will happen after he goes on the operating table tomorrow. Your father has already given me a preliminary plan for the distribution of his savings and real estate, but I think it is unreasonable. Let's talk openly about how to distribute it today!"
"My dad isn't dead yet. Do you have to be so greedy?" I didn't expect Aunt Zhang would fight with me for the family property so blatantly. I felt heartbroken for my dad.
"I'm not nice? I've been with him for so many years without any status. If I don't fight for myself, I have to fight for my son. How can this be ugly?" Aunt Zhang was no longer gentle. She questioned me like a shrew. "When your parents divorced, your mother took most of your father's property. He didn't have much left to begin with. Now she wants to give you most of it. I don't agree. I absolutely don't agree."
"Aunt Zhang, it seems that my dad has never told you that my mom earns more of my family property. It's true that men always like to exaggerate their abilities when they cheat, otherwise how can there be stupid women who risk their lives for them?" I sneered at her, "How dare you say you don't agree? Besides, even if you don't agree, you can go and talk to my dad. Why are you so arrogant in front of me? If I were you, I would definitely be a good stepmother. It would be best if you could move me to the point where I cry and call you mom like in the movies. Maybe I would take the initiative to give up my inheritance rights. Look at what you look like now, a typical vicious stepmother. Do you think I will give in?"
"You...you say I'm vicious? If I were vicious, would I not make any noise or quarrel for so many years, and let your father take care of you and your mother in every possible way? Li Ge, I think I have done enough for you and your mother. If I hadn't been patient and never fought for anything, could you and your mother have lived a peaceful life for so many years?" She looked so ugly because of me choking her, and her body was shaking with anger.
I laughed at Aunt Zhang's words: "Your worldview is really interesting. According to you, should I thank you for letting my mother and I go for so many years? Aren't you great? Why don't you continue to be great now and want to compete with me?"
"I fight? What's the point of me fighting? I'm fighting for my Qiu Yang. This child has suffered a lot since he was a child. Even now, he still thinks of you in everything. If I don't fight for him, he will have nothing!"
"Aunt Zhang, if you had directly admitted that you were a mistress because you were attracted by my father's money, I would have thought more highly of you. But now you are acting like this, using Li Qiuyang to pretend to be pitiful and gain sympathy. It's really disgusting. Do you know that Li Qiuyang has suffered? Then why did you give birth to him? Let him bear the shame of being an illegitimate child for the rest of his life?"
Some people have already gotten enough, but they are not satisfied and hope that everything is theirs. They try their best to plunder, but they don't know whether they will be as happy as they imagined after they really have everything.
"Li Ge, don't say that, she is my mother." Li Qiuyang finally couldn't help but speak out, "No matter what, she has suffered a lot, all for me."
"You mean, I was wrong?" Hearing him say that, my heart sank. Usually I call her sister affectionately, but when a conflict really arises, I become Li Ge, and he clearly stands on his mother's side.
"That's not what I meant." Li Qiuyang frowned and explained awkwardly, "I won't take a penny of Dad's money. I know we've let you down, and I can do anything to make it up to you, really, anything. I just hope you can be nicer to my mom for my sake, and stop saying those ugly things that hurt her."
"Hurt her? Li Qiuyang, I know she is your mother, but can you figure out who hurt who? And are you going to tell me that everything you have done during this period was just to compensate me and to make me treat your mother better?" I looked at Li Qiuyang, and all the past events flashed before my eyes like slides, dazzling my eyes.
The smell of disinfectant in the hospital is so pungent, otherwise why would my eyes feel so sore that I want to cry?
"Li Ge, that's not what I meant. I really treat you as my sister, really... Even if my mom's incident hadn't happened, I would still treat you well."
I watched Li Qiuyang explaining everything in a panic. He didn't know that all his explanations were meaningless in front of me when he stood next to his mother and accused me.
I originally thought that Li Qiuyang was just being nice to me because he thought we were both in the same boat, both victims of the past generation's bloody emotional entanglements, and that we were firmly in the same camp. But now I realize that I was too naive, that I was the only one in my camp, and that Li Qiuyang was always on his mother's side , and that he was only nice to me so that I could be more considerate of his mother.
Does that mean he is suffering and atonement for his mother?
Sorry, I don't agree.
"You don't need to say more, Dad is still fine now! If you have the ability, take good care of him while he is still alive and let him give you everything." I looked at Aunt Zhang and Li Qiuyang, feeling extremely tired. "I will be here for the surgery tomorrow, and I will ask a special nurse to help take care of him after the surgery. If there is anything, I will let the nurse notify you, and we will not have any contact in the future."
I said the last sentence to Li Qiuyang.
"Sister..." Li Qiuyang called me.
"Don't call me sister anymore. Take good care of dad. I'm leaving first." I refused Li Qiuyang's offer to send me away and walked out of the hospital alone.
The last dead leaf on the tree fell down. Winter has come unknowingly. The wind is extremely cold. I wrapped my windbreaker tightly and walked into the wind alone.
Yi Tian also came when my dad had surgery. She knew that I needed company the most at this time.
The operation was originally supposed to take three hours, but it was dragged on to four hours. The doctor called the family members to a small room next to the operating room and unfolded a blue, bloody surgical gown, which contained a bloody object that made me feel sick.
Fortunately, Yi Tian is always with me.
The doctor fiddled with it with a scalpel and said, "This is the diseased part. It has been completely removed. It has not spread. You family members can rest assured."
I breathed a sigh of relief and came out of the room. I collapsed on the bench and didn't have the strength to stand up for a long time.
When Dad was pushed out of the operating room, Aunt Zhang and Li Qiuyang came to greet him. They held his hands and talked to him. For a moment, I felt that I was just an outsider in this family.
After Dad was sent to the intensive care unit, Li Qiuyang stood in front of me. He hesitated and opened his mouth: "Sister..."
I stood up and said to him and Aunt Zhang who was glaring at me from behind him, "I will transfer all the money needed for the hospitalization directly to you. As for the care of my dad during his illness, I said before that I would hire a nurse, so you don't have to worry. I'm leaving now."
"Sister, I'll go with you..."
"Qiuyang, come with me to the doctor!"
Li Qiuyang originally wanted to say a few more words to me, but under pressure from his mother, he took back what he wanted to say and walked towards the doctor's office with his mother.
Yi Tian wanted to go forward and hold Li Qiuyang, but I stopped her. I briefly told her about the problems between Li Qiuyang and me, and asked her not to get involved in the messy and confusing things in our family, so as not to affect her relationship with Li Qiuyang.
Yi Tian agreed hesitantly, and then told me that a media company was recruiting recently and that I met all the requirements, so she suggested that I give it a try.
I didn't expect that I just briefly mentioned my resignation to Yi Tian, ​​and she took it so seriously. I was so touched that I hugged her.
After she returned, she sent me all the recruitment information. After looking at the text, I hesitated for a long time, but finally decided to give it a try.
When my father was transferred from the intensive care unit to the general ward, I went to see him under the pretext of bringing a nurse. He was lying there, looking dazed and his words were unclear.
The new patient in the ward asked me for fun: "Little girl, are you a relative of this family? Oh, let me tell you, he doesn't feel uncomfortable now, but he will feel pain after the anesthesia wears off. My father used to go through this."
"Really? Thanks for the reminder !"
Relatives?
Yes, Aunt Zhang and Li Qiuyang were busy in front of the bed. I wanted to go forward, but the nurse said I couldn't help. Compared to me, the nurse was more like a closer relative, and I was the more distant relative.
After my father woke up and entered the recovery period, I felt relieved and decided to go to the new company for an interview. After the initial and re-interviews, half a month later, I received a call from the company asking me to start work officially.
Then……
I saw Lin Chuyu in my immediate boss' office. At that moment, I really wanted to rush to the company's door to see whether the company I joined was the new company or Orange Media.
Lin Chuyu sat in the boss chair without being surprised at all, twirling a pen in his hand, and asked me with a chuckle: "Why? Are you surprised?"
I nodded. Of course I was surprised! He was the ace of Orange Media. How could he jump to a second-tier media company so easily?
Lin Chuyu smiled at me in a particularly evil and arrogant way, as if this kind of job change was nothing to him.
"Li Ge, are you touched? In order to pursue you, I gave up my well-paid job and came here." He seemed to have become a different person in front of her, and his perennially gloomy expression even relaxed a little.
To be honest, I always thought he pursued me for other purposes, but at this moment, I actually felt a little sincerity. This sincerity made me feel more stressed: "Lin Chuyu, you are putting a lot of pressure on me."
"Since I have made the decision, it means that this decision is worth it. You don't have to feel pressured." Lin Chuyu actually comforted me softly, "Li Ge, you are far more important to me than you think."
"But……"
"Okay, let's end the reminiscing." Lin Chuyu stood up and extended his right hand to me, "We will fight together again in the days to come."
Seeing Lin Chuyu being so generous , I couldn't be shy anymore and stretched out my right hand to shake his: "Hello, please give me more advice in the future."
To celebrate my finding a new job, Yi Tian treated me to hotpot.
Lin Chuyu, who sent me to the hot pot restaurant that night, was also pulled in by Yi Tian, ​​and the meal for two turned into a meal for three.
After a few drinks, everyone's true colors were revealed. Yi Tian and I collapsed on the sofa, but Lin Chuyu was still sitting there straight and tall like a sculpture.
"Do you have any special abilities? Otherwise, how do you manage to never have any slack moments in your life?" I asked.
Since Lin Chuyu switched to this company, his temper seemed to have improved a lot, and I became more casual when talking to him.
Although Lin Chuyu was sitting upright, he looked quite relaxed.
"When I was a child, my mother always taught me that a man should behave like a man, not be crooked, and stay rational at all times. I have always remembered this all these years."
"You are completely different from Lin Chujian in this respect. Every time after drinking, that guy would lean on me like a puddle of mud..." I just said it casually, but as I was speaking, I felt my heart tightening and hurting slightly, so I picked up the wine and took a big gulp.
Lin Chuyu didn't respond to me, but just looked at me steadily.
Yi Tian leaned on my shoulder, her eyes a little dazed and flickering.
"Li Ge, I really like Li Qiuyang so much!"
I nodded.
"Before, I never understood why you could change so much for Lin Chujian. Now I understand. If you really like someone, you would wish that you could meet all his expectations and standards."
After saying that, Yi Tian started crying. I didn’t say anything. I just felt like there was a little person in my heart holding a small blade and scraping my heart bit by bit.
I hugged her shoulders and comforted her: "Don't cry, I know you like Li Qiuyang, and he loves you too, really loves you."
"I love him very much, too. I love him very much."
I looked up at Lin Chuyu, and dimly I seemed to see Lin Chujian smiling at me and saying to me, "Li Ge, I love you very much, very much."
I'm really drunk!