The world is always full of surprises. I met Yu Xia and Xu Shihan by accident.
Ever since I decided to leave my original city, I resolutely cut off contact with all my old friends, including Xu Shihan.
If I had known I would meet her when I accepted Mo Zhun's invitation to attend their company's social event, maybe I would not have come. At least I wouldn't have to force a smile and say something against my will like I am doing now.
But I really want to see Yu Xia... We haven't seen each other for a few months after the New Year's Day event. Occasionally, I would hear news about him from Mo Zhun. He has been looking for houses recently and has been getting busier and busier. His girlfriend shows her love for him in the office every day. It seems that good things are about to happen.
When Mo Zhun talked about this, I couldn't help but ask, what does Yu Xia's girlfriend look like? Is it Yan Anyan? But I didn't ask because I was afraid that he would find out that Yu Xia and I had known each other for a long time.
This spring outing gave me an opportunity, so when Mo Zhun asked me to go with him, I agreed without hesitation . I agreed so quickly that he was surprised.
He said, "Su Bei, you are such an unpredictable person. I thought there was a 99% chance that you would refuse."
"Then why are you asking me?"
"Because there is still that one percent chance!"
April in the north is neither as cold as winter nor as hot as summer; it is warm and flowers are blooming.
It's called an outing, but in fact it's just a group of people having a picnic in the suburbs. They spread out a picnic mat, put out snacks, food, and drinks, and sit in a circle under a tree, chatting and talking. Occasionally they have to deal with some insects that scare the girls to scream.
When Mo Zhun introduced Yu Xia's girlfriend to me, I was blankly watching a group of girls busying around, not knowing how to help. He pulled me to his side and said, "Su Bei, this is Yu Xia's girlfriend Xu Shihan, whom I often mentioned to you."
When we heard each other's names, we were both stunned and looked up at each other. I was surprised that she was Yu Xia's girlfriend, and she should be surprised that I would appear here, right?
When I saw Xu Shihan, I felt conflicted. I was happy that we could meet again, but I was sad that she became Yu Xia's girlfriend.
"Mo Zhun, come and help."
I heard someone shouting, and Mo Zhun left after giving me a few instructions, leaving Xu Shihan and I standing face to face.
"Can we chat?" Xu Shihan asked me.
I nodded.
She took me to the lakeside, looked at the calm lake with a gloomy expression and asked me: "Are you wondering why I am with Yu Xia?"
I didn't say anything, and she slowly told me the story of her time with Yu Xia.
After I left without saying goodbye that year, Yu Xia was relatively normal for the first two days. He went to school on time every day and his grades were still excellent. Apart from no longer associating with Yan Anyan, there was nothing unusual about him.
But in the second week, Yu Xia started looking for me everywhere like crazy. When he saw acquaintances, he would ask if they knew where Su Bei had gone. He would even skip classes to look for me after hearing the slightest news about me.
The counselor and the department head took turns talking to him, but it was no use. Finally, he called his parents to the school, but it was no use. At that time, he had only one thought: to find Su Bei.
It was also during that time that Xu Shihan officially entered Yu Xia's life. It was also because of her company that Yu Xia gradually came out of the sadness of losing me, and gradually stopped blaming herself for Sheng Yinuo's death, and stopped being sad because of my leaving without saying goodbye. As for Yan Anyan, when Yu Xia first started to go crazy, the two had a big fight and broke up, and Yan Anyan never bothered Yu Xia again after that.
After graduating from university, Xu Shihan originally had a good job, but Yu Xia wanted to go to G City. He said that it was the place that Su Bei and Sheng Yinuo most longed for.
For him, Xu Shihan resolutely gave up her job and risked breaking up with her family to accompany Yu Xia to G City. It was also because of her selfless dedication that time that the two of them officially got together.
A year ago, Yu Xia received an invitation from his current company with generous salary and benefits. In order to give Xu Shihan a better life, they came to this city.
Xu Shihan said, "Su Bei, do you know? He has been looking for you for the past five years. In the first two years, whenever he heard any news about you, Yu Xia would go over to confirm it. Uncle and aunt also advised him, but he said, what if it was Su Bei? I just want to know how she is doing."
Searching again and again, being disappointed again and again, I thought I was the one suffering the most during these years, but I didn’t know that Yu Xia was suffering just like me.
"Su Bei." Xu Shihan turned to look at me, "Do you still hate Lin Momo?"
After leaving school, I listened to the birthday gift many times. It also included Sheng Yinuo's complaints, but maybe he didn't even notice it.
Every time I heard it, my hatred for Lin Momo decreased a little. She was wrong in loving the wrong person, and I was wrong in trusting the wrong person.
"In fact, she has been suffering these years. Chen Hao was arrested not long after you left. His family tried every possible means, but he was still sentenced to 20 years. Since then, Lin Momo has begun to give up on herself. She started skipping classes, talking back to teachers, and was finally persuaded to drop out of school." Xu Shihan told me about the past that I didn't know like an outsider. Her voice was faint and unusually calm. "The day she left school, she hugged me and cried for a long time. She said that if she saw Su Bei one day, please help me say sorry."
"I don't hate it anymore." I looked at the lake with a sense of loss. A gust of wind blew, creating ripples, and after the wind passed, it returned to calm. I couldn't help but think, how wonderful it would be if people's hearts were like lake water, leaving no traces when the wind passed.
"Then do you still love me?"
"Love?" I didn't understand what she meant.
"Do you still love Yu Xia?" She looked at me, and unlike the calmness just now, tears welled up in her eyes. "If you still like him, I can choose to quit. In fact, I am already very satisfied to be with him for these few years."
"What nonsense are you talking about?" I smiled. "Yu Xia and I are the past. Five years have passed between us. The five-year gap cannot be filled by asking whether I still love him. You are the one who is by his side now, and you will also be the one who will accompany him forever. As for me, I am at best a childhood friend who I haven't seen for many years. Don't think too much."
"Really?"
I hugged her gently and said casually, "Shihan, you and Yuxia are my most important friends. I hope you can be happy forever. If you have a child in the future, I don't mind him calling me godmother!"
"Thank you, Su Bei."
I hugged Xu Shihan and thought of the year I left.
That year, I left her and Yu Xia with a dead heart and started a new life.
For a long time, I always had dreams. In the dreams, I was a passerby. I watched them talking, laughing, and playing, and wanted to fit in, but I was always ignored.
It took me a long time to get out of this nightmare. Perhaps after knowing that they are living well and have their own lives, I will never have nightmares again.
When we returned to the crowd, Yu Xia had already arrived. Xu Shihan walked to his side naturally and took his arm affectionately. Yu Xia also turned around and smiled at her, helping her to push away the hair that was blocking her eyes.
"Su Bei." Mo Zhun called my name, "Here."
Yu Xia looked up at me in astonishment, and put down the hand that had just been on Xu Shihan's head somewhat unnaturally. I smiled at him as a greeting, then walked around them and came to Mo Zhun's side.
I tried my best not to pay attention to their every move, and tried not to care about the intimacy between them, so that maybe I could smile more happily.
After dinner, a group of young people naturally wanted to find some entertainment activities. I was particularly afraid that they would play something like truth or dare. Whether it was me or Yu Xia who was picked, it would be scary enough.
What you fear will come true. Just as I finished thinking, someone said, "How about we play truth or dare?"
"That's so boring. How about we play a game to test our tacit understanding?" Another person suggested, "Two people form a team and answer the same question. If you answer correctly, you get one point. The one with the highest score will get a prize from the boss. How about that?"
This suggestion was met with boos: "This is too old-fashioned. How about truth or dare? Try something new?"
"How about playing You Draw and I Guess?"
"Where do you want to draw?"
"Werewolf?"
“It’s too brain-burning.”
…
After proposing again and again and being rejected again and again, they all looked at Yu Xia and Mo Zhun. As the two people with the highest positions among all the people present and the ones who would offer the prizes in the end, they had the final say.
"Su Bei, you decide!" Mo Zhun said.
" Me?" I didn't expect him to throw the question to me. It was a bit of a headache. "Why don't we just test our tacit understanding?"
As long as it's not truth or dare, I can accept anything else.
"It would be too boring if we were to pair up with couples. Why don't we draw lots?" Someone suggested. He took out some notepaper from his bag and wrote numbers on each piece of paper. "Those who draw the same number will be a group. Don't deliberately answer wrong. The three groups with the lowest scores will have to take the test of truth or dare."
As he said this, the man winked at Mo Zhun: "Boss, am I very smart?"
"They call you the Boss, so what's Yu Xia called? Boss No. 2?" I asked Mo Zhun without any reason.
He stared at me in amazement, and after a long while he said with emotion: "Su Bei, you are so humorous. They usually call me Boss Mo and Yu Xia Boss Yu."
"Oh." I lowered my head, knowing that I had asked a stupid question and felt a little embarrassed.
"You always surprise me." He smiled at me tenderly.
"Okay, okay, let's stop watching the bosses show affection and start the game." The proposer threw a number in the middle and asked those who got the same number to sit together. Mo Zhun, who provided the prize, was naturally pushed to the position of referee and had a bird's eye view in the first round.
Then everyone uses their mobile phone to answer questions. If the answer is correct, one point will be awarded. If the answer is wrong, one point will be deducted. Anyone who gets a negative number will be punished.
It can basically be considered a game of punishment for all people.
When Yu Xia sat next to me, I was stunned again. He put the note in my palm and said gently as always: "We are both number seven."
"Okay, let's start with the first question."
"The woman's favorite color." "Green."
"What's your favorite pastime?" "Reading."
"The woman's favorite number." "4."
After three rounds, Yu Xia and I had the same answer. Everyone present was shocked and shouted, "They are cheating! Cheating! We ask the referee to disqualify them."
"Hey, hey, hey, stop it. What evidence do you have to prove that they cheated? This is called tacit understanding. Do you understand tacit understanding?" Mo Zhun said to smooth things over. Okay, move on to the next question, "What sport do boys hate the most?"
"Play basketball."
"If you can guess this, isn't that cheating?"
When I saw this answer appear on Yu Xia's phone, my eyes became wet. Once upon a time, he and Sheng Yinuo both loved playing basketball. Since elementary school, the two of them liked to run around with a basketball. Sheng Yinuo even tried to slam dunk like in "Slam Dunk", but he couldn't reach the basket, slipped and fell flat on his face. His coccyx hurt for more than half a month, and because of his unnatural walk, his classmates gave him the nickname "Duck".
Now, basketball has become a sport that Yu Xia will never play again because of the boy named Sheng Yinuo.
"Okay, okay, let's stop here!" Xu Shihan suddenly stood up and rushed to Yu Xia, asking with concern, "Are you okay?"
Yu Xia shook her head.
"I'm glad you're okay, otherwise..." She stopped talking halfway and just looked at him steadily with gentle eyes.
Seeing that something was not right, everyone started to change the subject, so that the game would not end too awkwardly.
Mo Zhun walked up to me with a complicated look on his face. He asked, "You and Yu Xia...did you know each other before?"
I didn't speak.
"Then, are you coming here for this outing also for..."
The name was not spoken out loud, but everyone already knew it.
I looked up in Yu Xia's direction, but Xu Shihan blocked my view, so I couldn't see his expression. I could only see the intimacy between the two of them.
It tasted sour, as if I had swallowed an unripe fruit. I stood up, said hello to Mo Zhun, and left the noisy crowd alone.
I hate myself for being like this. I say blessings with my mouth, but when I see them being intimate, I feel like I've drunk vinegar in my heart.
What right do I have to be jealous? It's obvious... they are boyfriend and girlfriend.
Turning his head to look at them , Xu Shihan rested her head on Yu Xia's shoulder, and he raised his hand to help her tidy up her bangs, showing their love.
My heart sank and I felt an immense sadness.
I forced myself to turn my head away and stop looking at them, afraid that I would cry if I looked at them for even one more second.
I walked to the lake alone and sat down. I picked up a few stones and started skipping them on the water like Sheng Yinuo had done before. The stones he threw would always bounce three or four times beautifully, but the stones I threw would always sink with a plop. I had been learning for several years but had never learned how to play.
There was a sudden noise not far away, and then a female voice shouted: "Help! A girl fell into the water!"
Before I could react, a white figure jumped into the water. It seemed to be... Yu Xia.
I was so scared that I hurried to the water’s edge. At this moment, Xu Shihan also ran over and shouted, “Yu Xia…Yu Xia…where are you?”
Perhaps he heard Xu Shihan's voice, Yu Xia emerged from the water. He looked at me with surprise in his eyes, as if saying, Su Bei, I'm glad you're okay.
When tears were about to burst out, Mo Zhun came over, pressed my head into his arms, and let my tears fall on his expensive coat.
He touched my head and said, "Su Bei, your tears cannot be seen by others."
In the eyes of outsiders, Yu Xia has a girlfriend, and I was brought here by Mo Zhun. If two such unrelated people create a suggestive scandal in such an occasion, it would not be a good thing for either him or Mo Zhun.
But Yu Xia, am I still so important in your heart? So important that you can jump into the water without asking anything, so important that you can look at me like that in front of Xu Shihan...
Yu Xia got ashore with the help of other colleagues. The person who played the prank did not expect things to turn out like this, and apologized to him with some guilt. He smiled and comforted him very gently.
"Your clothes are all wet, let's go back first!" Xu Shihan said softly.
"Okay." When he walked to Mo Zhun and me, he paused, said in a voice that only the three of us could hear, "Send her back safely," and then left.
I didn't dare look at him, for fear that my tears would well up again.
After a while, things gradually quieted down and everyone else dispersed to pack up and prepare to go back.
I walked out of Mo Zhun's arms and thanked him with a red face: "Thank you for helping me."
"I don't mind if you turn your gratitude into practical action. How about treating me to a meal?" Mo Zhun suggested with a smile.
He was always able to turn all his imaginary plans into real actions, so I naturally had no way to refuse: "Okay , you decide the time and place, and I'll pay for the bill."
"Then I have to think about it carefully. It's rare for a girl to ask me out for dinner, so I have to have a big meal."
"Okay, no problem."
"But before that, would you mind sitting here with me?"
"Yeah." We sat side by side by the lake, time slipped away from our eyes like running water, the sun slowly set, and the water surface turned orange, which was extremely charming.
Mo Zhun beside him asked slowly and sadly: "Su Bei, when will you be willing to tell me your story?"
I stood up and brushed off the dirt on my body: "Go back, we have to leave."