Chapter 6: Unspeakable Sorrow 04
When I left the room on the pretext of getting some water, I heard my father secretly telling the woman in the kitchen to treat Yao Yizhou well and not to enter the room to disturb us.
Maybe, I often sat alone in the living room at night some time ago, which really scared the woman. She has been avoiding me recently...
I couldn't help but smile bitterly and shook my head.
Not long after I returned to the room, the woman came in with snacks and drinks. Perhaps she knew I didn't like her, so she didn't stay in my room for long.
I watched all this indifferently, not caring about the reason for the sudden quietness in the house. I was not in the mood to care about their cautiousness in front of me. I just stared at the TV screen intently, watching the fairy Zixia lying dying in the arms of Zhizunbao.
Fairy Zixia said that she guessed the beginning but could not guess the ending.
This simple line was like a heavy blow to me, making my eyes red, my nose sore, and an inexplicable urge to cry rising in my heart.
Seeing that I was so sad while watching a movie, Yao Yizhou quickly stood up, took out a tissue from the tissue box on the bedside table and handed it to me.
I took the tissue, wiped my eyes, forced a smile, and whispered, "I don't know what's wrong with me. Every time I watch the ending of this movie, I feel sad ."
Yao Yizhou sighed deeply and put my head on his shoulder.
I wanted to push him away, but at this moment, I really needed a shoulder.
My acquiescence seemed to give Yao Yizhou great courage. His gentle voice slowly floated down from my head: "Wen Ya, do you still remember the first time we met? On the first day of military training, you stood out from so many girls and shouted loudly that you wanted to be the monitor. You were really brave and courageous at that time. Although the teacher finally appointed me as the monitor, at that time, I really wanted to give the monitor position to you. I really wanted to see your happy smile..."
I couldn't see Yao Yizhou's face. I just leaned quietly on his shoulder and listened to him talk about the past.
"Later, you got together with Ji Chuan... Ji Chuan and I lived in the same dormitory, with bunk beds, and we had a good relationship. After the military training, he told me mysteriously that he had a girl he liked. I didn't take it seriously, but I never thought that the girl he liked was you. In fact, I couldn't figure it out. I was the first one to like you. I liked you from the first time I saw you. How could he get ahead of me? Over the years, I tried my best to catch up with him, but I found that no matter when, I was always one step behind him... Many times, I wondered, would I miss this life if I was one step behind?" Yao Yizhou paused, and after a while, he continued, "Wen Ya, I'm going to say something you don't want to hear. I'm really happy that you and Ji Chuan broke up. During this period, I was so excited that I couldn't fall asleep almost every night - it turns out that God also understands my feelings and brought you to my side again!"
As I listened, my body became stiffer and stiffer. I couldn't help but push Yao Yizhou away, and looked out the window with my head turned sideways, not daring to look him in the eye.
Yao Yizhou smiled bitterly, turned my body, looked into my eyes, and said in an extremely firm tone: "Wen Ya, if you choose to be with Ji Chuan, I will bless you. However, if Ji Chuan cannot give you happiness, I hope that the person who can stay with you is me. It's time, Wen Ya, I hope you can give me a chance... I will never fail to cherish you like Ji Chuan, because in these years, you are my only reason to stay in the country."
Yao Yizhou’s confession touched me a little, but a hint of hesitation still flashed across my eyes.
In fact, I don’t deny that there was a moment when my heart was touched by Yao Yizhou, but I couldn’t agree to him.
I know my own heart and I know Shen Xiaoyu's heart. I cannot let myself down, and I cannot let Shen Xiaoyu down even more.
Although I have broken up with Ji Chuan now, it is undeniable that Ji Chuan still occupies my heart like a giant . It takes time to forget him, but I don’t know how long it will take. Besides, if I stay with Yao Yizhou like this, it will be too unfair to him.
Yao Yizhou looked at me expectantly, as if expecting me to give a positive answer, but I hesitated for a long time and finally said three words: "I'm sorry!"
Just when I said the three words "I'm sorry", Yao Yizhou's originally bright eyes dimmed in an instant.
I thought that after I rejected him, he would turn around and leave without saying anything, but Yao Yizhou looked at me with a smile and said calmly: "I will wait for you forever. Anyway, I have waited for so many years, and I am not afraid of waiting longer. You are the best girl I have ever met, and the girl who is worth waiting for and cherishing for my whole life. Even if you reject me now, it doesn’t matter. I always believe that one day, you will look back at me and find that there is always a boy in this world waiting for you , waiting for you to look back at him."
Yao Yizhou’s words made me feel that I was too cruel, but when it comes to love and friendship, I really can’t weigh which one is more important.
Suddenly, I thought of Li Jiawei and Shen Xiaoyu.
I don’t know what Shen Xiaoyu thinks of me now. Does she hate me as much as I hate Li Jiawei? I still remember how she told me that she liked Yao Yizhou. I remember that she had said countless times how much she liked Yao Yizhou.
Faced with such strong feelings from Shen Xiaoyu, I don’t know what to do, but I also don’t want to lose Shen Xiaoyu as a friend.
Shen Xiaoyu and I have been inseparable friends since high school. She has always been by my side whenever I feel sad or frustrated. Whenever I have a conflict or quarrel with my family, their home is like my safe haven.
I think if I really agreed to be with Yao Yizhou, I would really lose my friend Shen Xiaoyu and become the bad girl who snatched away my good friend's lover.
I am much worse than Li Jiawei. I don't want to be that kind of person. I don't want to accept Yao Yizhou at this time. I don't want him to be the one who replaces Ji Chuan. If we really get together, the brotherhood between him and Ji Chuan for many years will disappear in an instant.
Yao Yizhou still looked at me with gentle eyes, but I could only lower my head and continue to avoid him.
The movie was still going on, but the awkward atmosphere between us could only be eased by silence. I forced myself to think about something else and ate snacks pretending to be nothing happened.
