Chapter 6 Some pain must be returned tenfold
After the pain, you grow up. I understood this truth later.
——Fang Weiyang
01
Fifteen days later, I took my sister Nianxuan, who was able to be discharged from the hospital, and moved back to Huacheng temporarily with Shen Huai.
Standing at the train station, I looked back at the hustle and bustle of City C, and felt as if I were in another world. There were too many bad memories in this city, and we all longed to find a quiet place.
The leave of absence I applied for is three months.
July said, you have to come back when the ginger flowers bloom. I asked her, why must it be ginger flowers? She said that ginger flowers are a simple and pure white flower that can grow in the most hostile environments and look more beautiful than any other flowers.
I understand that she hopes I am this kind of flower.
After returning home and cleaning, Shen Huai reopened his flower shop. However, the shop was unattended and most of the potted plants inside had died.
I cleared away the dead branches and leaves, pruned the flowers that still showed signs of life, and bought some flower seeds from Shen Huai's supplier to help him run the flower shop.
Shen Huai was completely focused on Nian Xuan, and became a "good dad". He wanted to sell the flower shop, but I was reluctant and insisted that he stay, saying that it didn't matter if the business was not good.
I turned off my phone and didn’t charge it. I cut off contact with some people. Occasionally, I would call July from the public phone across from the flower shop.
Through communication with July, I know that Zhuangnan has a talent for painting. The teacher is training him as an art student and will send him to a prestigious school for training in another year.
Painting is an art that costs a lot of money. If you paint well, you can become an artist. If you paint badly, no one will care about you even if you set up a stall on the overpass. Qiyue didn't care about that. She worked part-time day and night, sometimes singing several shows a night. She said she had no chance and wanted to give Zhuangnan a bright future.
For more than two months, my life has been the same day after day: get up, go to the flower shop, close the shop when it gets dark, go home and play with Nianxuan.
Time can heal the pain, but time can also make a person crazy.
Two months later, I met Fang Xuyu in Huacheng.
The weather suddenly changed that day, and I was wearing a pair of high-heeled sandals and accidentally sprained my ankle on the way to the flower shop. I bought medicine from a nearby pharmacy, and while I was watching the store, I lowered my head, put my sprained foot on a stool, and applied ointment to the injured area.
A breeze blew by, and my ankles began to hurt.
"Hello, welcome." I said without raising my head .
"If you're sending it to a lover, roses, gentian, irises, etc. are recommended; if you're sending it to a friend, carnations, baby's breath, and lilies are all OK." The footsteps stopped behind me, and I thought he was choosing flowers.
Suddenly, a purple platycodon appeared in front of me.
"Who chooses a flower? Choose one..." I turned around with amusement, the smile frozen on my face.
Fang Xuyu was wearing a blue denim jacket and carrying a backpack. He was holding the gentian and looking at me as if asking me to accept it.
"Thank you." I avoided his gaze in panic, my heart trembling slightly.
"Why did you leave without saying goodbye?" The hoarse voice blended with the fragrance of the flowers, faintly, like a whisper. Time passed in silence, I huddled, my fingers were cold, and my nose was sore.
"A-choo——" The loud sneeze scared away the dust in the air and caused the person behind him to hold back laughter.
"Are you stupid or cold?" There was a sound, an arm was raised above my head, and a denim jacket that still had body temperature was draped over my shoulders.
Fang Xuyu picked up the schoolbag on the ground and crossed his arms in front of his chest in his short-sleeved shirt.
"Fang Weiyang, I'm asking you a question." He raised his eyebrows and tightened his arms around his chest.
I was in a trance, holding the platycodon in my hand, the fragrance of the flower hit my nose. How could I tell this cold and aloof boy what I had been avoiding?
"I heard about your mother. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I dug my fingernails into my palms, feeling confused. "How did you find me?"
"If you want to find it, there is always a way, right?" His expression was indifferent, revealing a sense of coldness and arrogance.
"That's right." I nodded.
He looked up and down my bare calves and bruised ankles and said, "I'll go to the hospital with you."
I frowned depressedly: "I have to watch the store, it's okay."
After saying that, I remembered to pull down my rolled-up trouser legs.
"If you don't mind, I'll drag you there." He ignored my refusal, put down his backpack, and helped me close the store.
"You are so domineering." Knowing that I couldn't win over him, I had to shut up in boredom.
Just as I was about to stand up, my feet rubbed against the hard surface of my shoes, which was very uncomfortable and I couldn't get any strength at all. I took off my shoes and continued to slump in the chair, and heard Fang Xuyu's voice again: "Follow me."
I sat there listlessly, giving him a cold look: "My feet hurt."
"You still feel the pain?" Fang Xuyu walked back and looked at me with some gloating expression.
I choked. He walked in front of me, squatted down and picked up my shoes, turned his back to me, and bent his waist slightly: "Come up, I'll carry you."
I looked at the not-so-broad back in front of me and hesitated.
"Or do you like being held?" He was getting impatient.
I had no choice but to climb up. The leaves rustled slightly, and the air was hot and stuffy. It was probably his first time carrying a girl, so his movements were a little awkward and uncomfortable.
"I didn't see you at school, so I went to your house to wait for you. I didn't wait for you, but I waited for your friend."
"Um?"
Maybe the person he was talking about was July. I remember I once asked July to help me collect a set of school information from my old house.
But how could he handle someone as stubborn as July?
"She refused to tell me where you were, so I followed her for three days."
"That's more your style."
"I am worried about you."
"Are you saying this out of concern for me?"
"Yes, I care about you."
"Why do you care so much about me?"
“Because I care.”
The wind was blowing, and although it wasn't a sunny day, it made me feel warm inside. His face was gloomy, and he walked forward in silence with my back to him.
Fang Xuyu, if you knew what happened to me, would you still be as peaceful and happy as you are now? No, you don't need to know. I am the only one who is suffering. It is enough .
Before this, I blamed you for inviting me to Fang Chongyan's house, for letting me attend your birthday party, and for obeying you even though you were so overbearing and unreasonable. Now, I suddenly don't blame you anymore.
I smelled his pleasant scent and a tear rolled down my eye.
Fang Xuyu drove here and stayed at the Huacheng Hotel for three days. He came to the flower shop every day. He insisted that I go back to City C and go back to school. In his words, if I didn't go back, he wouldn't go back either.
In the end, I lost to him. On the day of departure, the bright sunlight blinded me and I couldn't open my eyes. Fang Xuyu lazily sat in the car and saw me and Shen Huai and the others saying goodbye from afar.
Nianxuan held on to me with her chubby little hands and refused to let go. I got into the car heartlessly. The moment the car started, her crying began and my heart was knotted.
The car passed through the crowded city and entered the wide avenue. I felt exhausted and closed my eyes to rest. As I was lost in thought, I heard music in my ears -
Whose windowsill is full of bright red potted plants
Waiting stubbornly, who will crush the night and climb up?
Not dreamy, not exciting
I don't want to love you without passion
…
How I long to find the tunnel of time
Back to simplicity, it’s easy to feel beautiful
Dare to hug madly, dare to forget the pain
If you don't know fear, you won't have any worries.
Once you experience the cruelty of reality, you will flee before fighting.
Once you become worldly and conservative, you will live calmly and old.
…
"Eason Chan's "Time Tunnel"? " I opened my eyes and saw the car driving on a clean and wide road. The leaves on both sides of the road were shaking, and there was no one on the roadside .
"Yeah." Fang Xuyu gripped the steering wheel tightly and drove the car quickly forward.
The mountains were silent under the clear blue sky, the wind lifted the strands of hair on his forehead and filled his sleeves. He pursed his lips slightly, his face still melancholy.
How I long to find the tunnel of time,
It’s easy to feel good when you return to simplicity;
Once you experience the cruelty of reality, you will flee before fighting.
Once you become sophisticated and conservative, you will live a calm and old life.
The sad song seemed to pierce the sky.
But there is no time tunnel in this world, and I can't go back to the simple and beautiful. I have experienced the cruelty of reality, from running away to facing it. I am still young, but my heart is already old.
Passing by a farm, ginger flowers were planted inside. The ginger flowers were in full bloom in May, with water droplets on the white petals and a strong fragrance.
A line of white birds flew over the mountaintops, and the mountain mist in the distance was light, like a smudged ink painting. A cool breeze blew into the car, blowing on the faces of Fang Xuyu and I, who were silent and each had something on our minds.
I spread out my hands, and fate is flowing in my hands, making it impossible to see the future clearly.
A few months ago, I was still the immature Fang Weiyang. If it weren't for Zhong Man'er and Xue Ye, I would always be that Fang Weiyang. But they ruined me.
Zhong Maner...
Xue Ye...
