Winter has gone and spring has come. When the cicadas are chirping, it is already midsummer.
I was studying in a three-year program, and as graduation and internship were approaching, Xu Xiaoran rented a house off campus to accompany Yao Ruhua to prepare for the postgraduate entrance examination, and also found a job near their school.
My injured leg has completely healed, but I can't jump violently. However, it does not affect my normal life. Last year, I went to work in an Internet cafe on crutches. Uncle Shi insisted on not agreeing. I had no choice but to rest for another month before going to the hospital to remove the plaster.
Lin Jingxiang was unusual. She called me several times at night when she was drunk and talked about her childhood. When I sent Lin Jingxiang home, I learned that Yan Li and Lin Dongming had another child, who was already one year old. Lin Dongming and his wife were all focused on the child, so they ignored Lin Jingxiang. Lin Jingxiang was not doing well.
On Friday, Lin Jingxiang unexpectedly asked me to meet her.
On these summer nights, I often dream of the day when Chen Jinmo confessed his love to Lin Jingxiang.
Gardenias were in full bloom along the banks of the Liuying River behind the community. Chen Jinmo called me and said that he wanted me to witness the sacred moment. I wore a green floral dress, kicked pebbles, and came to the place where I had agreed to meet him.
The air was filled with the fragrance of gardenias and the evening breeze. The orange sunset was setting slowly across the horizon, and half of the river was dyed red.
The boy exuded a pleasant lemon scent. He was wearing a brand new white shirt and holding a bouquet of red roses. He stood in front of me and solemnly asked me to listen to a few words before confessing my feelings.
He said, among all the things and people that have changed, I like you the most. I want to give you all the best things in the world. Are you ready?
When I stared blankly at the sunset in the water, my face as red as the red clouds in the sky, Chen Jinmo took my hand and asked me excitedly: How is it? Will Xiangxiang like it? Is my confession tacky? Tell me quickly!
My "I like you too" got stuck in my throat and I swallowed it hard.
The surprise he gave me was that he was going to confess his love to Lin Jingxiang, and I was just a "substitute" and audience who suddenly rehearsed it in advance.
It was half an hour later that I heard him say this again.
I was standing in the pavilion by the river where pedestrians could rest, I heard his lips moving as he spoke, and saw Lin Jingxiang blushing, as surprised and moved as I was. The only difference was that she was qualified to nod slightly.
Lin Jingxiang held the bouquet of flowers, Chen Jinmo shouted and picked her up and spun her around on the spot. The sunset was as red as my bleeding heart. This may be an exaggeration, but in the eyes of the seventeen-year-old me, it was a tragic event.
That day was also Lin Jingxiang’s and my birthday. I was like a little tail, following them around, eating and drinking, and having a birthday. The delicious food filled the sadness in my heart.
So, how much could happen in just one year, from sixteen to seventeen? The answer is, it was enough to make me fall from heaven to hell.
In the food stall, men with bare chests were blowing beer bottles, and the big fans were spinning madly, sending out gusts of cool wind. Lin Jingxiang was sitting opposite me, eating the skewers in front of him in silence.
"Are you not used to it?" Her lips were so greasy that the original color of her lipstick could no longer be seen. She threw away a bamboo stick and followed my gaze, looking around at the dirty and messy surroundings.
"No, I thought you looked down on this kind of place." I picked up the vinegar and salt and sprinkled them in the bowl in front of me. Why would Lin Jingxiang come to this kind of snack stand? I didn't realize she was so approachable before.
"What do you think? Haha, after all you don't know what I like." Lin Jingxiang's hair had grown to her shoulders and was tied in a small bunch behind her head. She looked a lot thinner.
"Eh? You got a tattoo?" I saw a black rose tattooed on her arm, which made her skin look even whiter. I was shocked. "Does it hurt?"
"It hurts, not at all." Lin Jingxiang asked the boss for two cans of ice beer, opened one with a "slurp", and put it in front of me. "That bastard Versace ran off with another woman."
"Ah?" I heard this explosive news and was stunned by her words.
"Why are all the people I meet bastards, one or two, all of them?" Lin Jingxiang cursed and finished half a can of beer in a few gulps. She touched my can and said, "You don't want to drink?"
"Oh." I immediately followed her example and drank most of it in one gulp. I drank it too fast and started coughing.
"Why are you still like a fool?" Lin Jingxiang looked at me with disdain.
"That's right." I said without blushing or feeling nervous.
"Hey, Chen Jinmo commented." Lin Jingxiang was scrolling through Weibo with one hand and put the page in front of me. I saw that she had posted nine photos of me eating in an ugly way without me noticing. I was so angry that I tried to grab her phone. "Why are you like this?"
"Let me see what this bastard said. Tsk - I miss the days when the three of us ate popsicles together. Who wants to reminisce with him and be artistic..." Lin Jingxiang looked at her phone with one hand and supported my face with the other hand to prevent me from getting closer. "Look at what he posted? Haha, he deserves it. He was dumped too?"
I took away Lin Jingxiang's hands that were stained with oil and chili powder, took out a mirror from my bag, wiped the stains on my face with a tissue, and glared at her with dissatisfaction.
"You two are still following each other?" I obviously underestimated Chen Jinmo's ability to recover. Even after being dumped by Lin Jingxiang, he was still following her updates.
"Yeah, what's so strange about that?" She looked at me indifferently, "You are just a primitive person who doesn't play anything. I don't know what fun your life has."
"I think it's pretty good." I don't like using WeChat Moments or Weibo, and I rarely socialize on the spur of the moment, but I don't feel like anything is missing from my life.
If I really have to say, it is probably a kind of passion, a passion for life. I am like a frozen seed, able to grow quietly, able to grow up safely, without sadness or joy, I have already used up all my strength.
After eating the skewers, Lin Jingxiang took me to see a movie, an art film, a story between two girls adapted from the work of Annie Baby. It tells the story of the friendship between Lin Qiyue and Li Ansheng from the age of thirteen to twenty-seven.
"Lin Jingyuan, do you think the movie is like the three of us?" When the film was in the second half, Lin Jingxiang was eating popcorn and bumped my arm.
Chen Jinmo is not Su Jiaming, I don’t look like July, and Lin Jingxiang is not Ansheng, so how can we three be alike?
"Not like it." I grabbed a few popcorns from her bucket. In the dim cinema, I couldn't see the bitter smile on Lin Jingxiang's lips.
"I think they are quite similar. If it weren't for that stinky man, they would still be good friends." Lin Jingxiang was making a veiled complaint. I smiled, then realized that she couldn't see my expression.
She was wrong. Li Ansheng and Lin Qiyue were a pair of shadows. They were born with rebelliousness and wildness in their bones , so they could compete for the same man and also leave for each other.
I won't compete with Lin Jingxiang for anything.
"You are prejudiced against men." I chuckled . Lin Jingxiang didn't say anything, her eyes fixed on the dialogue between the protagonists on the screen - I hated you, but I only have you.
"I hated you." Lin Jingxiang imitated July's tone and said very seriously. My heart was startled and I subconsciously looked into her eyes. Her eyes were sparkling under the light of the screen.
I only have you, Lin Jingxiang.
After the movie ended, I waited for Lin Jingxiang to go to the bathroom, handed her her bag, and asked, "Didn't you make any friends in college? You actually asked me to watch a movie with you."
"Bullshit, I feel sorry for you, I'm afraid you won't be willing to spend the money you spend on the movies." Lin Jingxiang was as fierce as a little lion that couldn't get its food. She took out a few bills from her wallet and gave them to me, "Here."
"I don't want it." Although I live on tight budget, I have enough money to spend. Lin Jingxiang, with her smart brain, not only has her tuition waived, but she also receives scholarships every year. But looking at the brand-name clothes and shoes she wears, she is quite a spendthrift.
"Just take it when I tell you to." She stuffed it into my pocket unhappily, slung her bag on one shoulder, strode out, waved at me in a very casual manner, and said goodbye.
I stepped into the elevator, the door slowly closed, and there was silence all around.
For this year’s birthday, Lin Jingxiang, Chen Jinmo and I got together. It was Chen Jinmo who invited us separately.
At the St. Regis Hotel, Chen Jinmo ordered a three-layer cake, and the gift for me was a small white dress, and the gift for Lin Jingxiang was a necklace.
"Happy birthday, two of the most beautiful princesses." Like an elegant gentleman, he poured red wine into the glasses in front of us and made an inviting gesture.
"Will it cost a lot of money?" I asked in a cowardly way. Please forgive me for the fact that every time I go to a place where I need to spend money, the first thing I consider is not its environment and grade, but the price.
Chen Jinmo tapped my forehead and said, "You're promising."
"Chen Jinmo, congratulations on becoming a 'single dog'." Lin Jingxiang clinked glasses with him, and Chen Jinmo immediately understood and took a sip of red wine: "Congratulations."
Their eyes met, with affection in their expressions. The slow violin music echoed in the hall, telling me that everything I saw was real.
"Cheers to you for dumping me." Chen Jinmo took another sip and raised his glass to Lin Jingxiang.
"I toast to you for your romantic and suave manner, which finally helped me escape from the sea of ​​suffering." Lin Jingxiang drank a glass of wine, and then filled the bottle again, "I toast to you again, and never look back on the past, and live freely and unrestrainedly."
Chen Jinmo held the wine glass and stared at Lin Jingxiang in a daze.
"Let's cheer for our silly past, a past that can never be returned to." Lin Jingxiang drank a little too much. After finishing the red wine, she drank brandy. She waved her hand and Chen Jinmo immediately understood and ran to get the wine.
When the two bottles of wine were empty, I felt sorry for Chen Jinmo's wallet. Lin Jingxiang got angry and seemed to want to drink to her heart's content. Chen Jinmo was smiling and talking, joining her in the fun.
It is only today that I understand the sadness in Lin Jingxiang's heart, but it turns out that Chen Jinmo understood it all from the beginning.
"Chen Jinmo, if you argue with me, I want to win."
"Why didn't you come back and comfort me? I don't want to be separated from you."
"Versace is a bastard, how could he do this to me, he...he..."
…
Lin Jingxiang drank too much and talked a lot. At the end, she even started to sob. Chen Jinmo hugged her and comforted her like a child.
Yes, I still hope they can reconcile.
The people I like and the people I hate are all the people I care about. It is better for them to be together than for me to have to taste the taste of others.
After leaving the hotel, I received a call from Shen Xingmo, who asked me to go to Dingtian Building. I had kept my birthday a secret from Xu Xiaoran and the others, and when Shen Xingmo contacted me, I thought something was wrong.
I got off at the bus stop near the building. Shen Xingmo saw me and came towards me happily. He was wearing blue jeans and an off-white round-neck short-sleeved shirt with a graffiti basketball printed on it.
"I thought I had the wrong person." He blinked.
I walked side by side with him and looked at him puzzledly. He gestured for me to stop, then smoothed my bangs and made an "OK" gesture.
"very beautiful."
"ha?"
He looked at me and his eyes suddenly moved to the sky and landed on the building in front of him: "Ha, I mean Dingtian Building."
"Oh." I was a little disappointed.
Shen Xingmo smiled mischievously, and then we started to cross the road. It was a big intersection with cars coming from all directions. Seeing that the red light had only a few seconds left, Shen Xingmo suddenly grabbed my hand and ran desperately. I was stunned for a second, looking at his strong arms, and when I came to my senses, we had already reached the other side of the road.
"It's very dangerous. You're crazy." I tried to break free from his hand, but he held me tighter. This familiar action was very similar to that of someone.
"I should have gone crazy a long time ago."
He ignored my rejection, held my hand, and walked in the crowd. There were people passing by and fireworks exploding above our heads. My heart suddenly started beating uncontrollably.
"A Yuan, am I annoying?"
"it's OK."
"Then why refuse?"
"I do not."
"Okay, since you said so, I won't let go."
"Hey, you're like this again."
I quickened my pace and he dragged me forward by the hand. Even my arguments had lost their power. Shen Xingmo was in a very good mood, as if he was very proud to see me being humiliated.
He did the same thing when he tricked me into going to see the Yuhua Stone exhibition and stuffed the tickets into my pocket.
My heart was pounding with fear. This boy named Shen Xingmo was like a stream, seeping into my world bit by bit. I ran away a little, and he came closer. Somehow, I no longer disliked him. I had no strength to resist when I talked to him or even held his hand.
This is really a terrible thing.
Shen Xingmo held my hand, not wanting to let go for even a second. I raised my hand that he was holding tightly, and said helplessly, "I need to go to the bathroom."
"Oh, then I'll wait for you at the door." He let go of my hand. I once suspected that Shen Xingmo's IQ had regressed to the level of elementary school. At night, he held my hand and walked on the street for at least half an hour before entering Dingtian Building.
Shen Xingmo took me to the top floor of the building to make a DIY cake. He drew a pink hedgehog and insisted that it was me. I was not convinced, so I wrote the three words "Shen Xingmo" on the finished cake with cream.
"They're either pufferfish or hedgehogs, all small animals." We sat opposite each other, eating the cake spoonfully. The cream got on my fingers, and I licked it clean, mumbling in dissatisfaction.
My cheeks felt cold , and Shen Xingmo reached out to wipe the cream off my face and ate it himself. Seeing him like this, I quickly ate a few more bites of cake to hide my uneasiness.
Lin Jingxiang and Chen Jinmo were celebrating their birthdays, so I just came out. I didn't eat anything except this cake that night. I poked the spoon, and Shen Xingmo stood up. I looked at him, and he took out a small box, took out the necklace inside, and walked behind me.
"It's called 'Star Love'. Although it's tacky to give a girl a necklace, Yuan, I hope you have everything that girls think is tacky." He leaned over and whispered in my ear, helping me put on the necklace. My hand unconsciously touched the cold necklace, and my eyes wandered.
Shen Xingmo returned to his seat and looked at his gift with satisfaction. He seemed to be much more energetic. Seeing that I was full, he ate the rest of the cake without any hesitation.
"Are you afraid of getting fat?" He looked at me with some fear, "I forgot that you girls like to lose weight."
"I 'm not losing weight." I said to myself, "I'm not fat."
"That's good." He breathed a sigh of relief.
After leaving the cake shop, Shen Xingmo and I took the elevator to the top floor on the 28th floor, and then walked up the stairs next to it to the rooftop.
A full moon hung in the dark sky, making the surroundings much brighter. The huge stars lay quietly in the arms of the night, emitting soft light. Looking down from the top of the tall building, people were walking on the streets, and no sound could be heard. It was like fish swimming in the ocean.
"Isn't this a nice place? Many people don't know about it."
Shen Xingmo got some newspapers and a low oil drum from somewhere. He spread the newspapers on the ground and took out a bunch of braised food and two bottles of soy milk from his shoulder bag like a magic trick.
"It's better to be prepared." He opened two bottles of soy milk, handed me two disposable gloves, pointed at the braised food and said, "I bought it on the pedestrian street. I waited in line for an hour. It's not spicy, but a little bit numbing."
"I didn't see you buy it." I sat down cross-legged and picked up a chicken claw and started to eat it.
"I bought it a long time ago." He smiled proudly, and also sat cross-legged opposite, looking around, "The environment is a bit bad, but the view is good, so I'll just make do with it."
He opened his bag, took out a square blue box, took out two roses, and said to me softly, "Ayuan, happy birthday."