Xu Xilin's driver's license that was spread out outside was missing. Dou Xun took a glance and couldn't help but ask another question.

"If you don't accept orders, I'll put it away." Xu Xilin said, tucking the hem of Dou Xun's coat as he fastened his seat belt, and winked at him, "I won't let anyone else sit on it anymore."

Dou Xun was stunned to see Xu Xilin holding the back seat of the passenger seat with his hands, and turning around and reversing the car skillfully with the action as if he wanted to hold the person sitting on the passenger seat in his arms, without saying clearly - "I won't let others sit here in the future." Shouldn't there be a sentence following it that starts with "only for"?

But Xu Xilin teased him and refused to say anything.

Dou Xun's sluggish nerves finally reacted in the ambiguous atmosphere. He looked at Xu Xilin with strange eyes. The person who had disturbed his sleep in his dream the night before seemed to be seducing him!

It's a bit of a strange experience.

At this time, the cell phone in Xu Xilin's pocket was ringing again. Mr. Xu was very busy with things to do, and he didn't know how many calls he had received this morning.

Xu Xilin didn't even look at the phone. He hung up the phone, turned off the ringtone, and threw it directly into the back seat of the car.

Dou Xun said, "Don't hang up. What if something happens? Just go about your business and don't worry about me."

Xu Xilin said with a half-smile: "No, I don't have anything more important to do."

Dou Xun: “…”

It's not "as if", that's what Xu Xilin meant!

Dou Xun's whole plan was disrupted again. He sat in the steadily moving car with an expressionless face. In his heart, he wanted to pounce on him simply and roughly. He was so restless that he changed his sitting position several times.

It's easy for young people to be together, and he could mess it up back then, not to mention the complex life of adults who need to adapt to each other. When Xu Xilin tried to turn the page on the past and start over, Dou Xun silently made a long list in his mind - it was full of historical issues between the two of them.

When Dou Xun was in the most pain and had difficulty letting go of his old love, he went to see a counselor. The counselor was a plump, kind-looking old lady. After listening to his stumbling memories, hatred, and still strong love, she asked him: "You have talked a lot about your feelings, but do you know how the other person feels?"

"Relationships are not grades or careers. They are not something that you can get results by just working hard. They are the result of the interaction between two people. If you get caught up in it, even if your feelings are deep, you will inevitably be passive. Because between people, whether lovers, relatives, or even classmates, colleagues, or partners, they are all about need and being needed, but some are spiritual needs and some are material needs. The more you care about the other person's feelings, the more you seem to give, but in fact you will be more proactive and less uneasy and anxious."

Dou Xun sighed slowly. After so many years of separation, he didn't dare to hope that Xu Xilin still had any feelings for him. Maybe he just happened to be single and had nothing to do. This was just a natural reaction to meeting an old lover. When Xu's grandmother passed away, Xu Xilin sent him an email late at night, but never received a reply... Dou Xun didn't know how deep the grudge in Xu Xilin's heart was. Anyway, he judged others by himself and felt that if he were in Xu Xilin's shoes, he would probably feel like a thorn in his throat for the rest of his life.

So going out with Xu Xilin was a painful and joyful torture for Dou Xun.

Xu Xilin has been fighting against the wind for many years and seems to be very successful, but in fact, the suffering he endured and the rewards he received were not commensurate with his achievements. Apart from Song Lianyuan, who was in the same difficult situation, if there was someone who understood his feelings, he would not have been allowed to continue on that path with a bloody nose.

But fate comes first, luck comes second, and feng shui comes third. There is no point in talking about the past now.

Xu Xilin gradually developed an indestructible face. He was the kind of person who was full of silliness in his heart, but never showed any fear on the surface. From Dou Xun's point of view, he was very good at taking care of people. He knew when to advance and retreat, and was very sensible. Sometimes people had the illusion that he was touching their palms, but he was careful not to make people feel pressured.

If it was the first day that Dou Xun met Xu Xilin, he probably wouldn't feel the slightest bit of discomfort and might have been coaxed into a daze by him.

Unfortunately not.

He had seen Xu Xilin being timid, depressed, acting like a spoiled child, and even furious, and he knew in his heart that these were all tricks. Not only did he not feel touched, but he felt a little anxious.

When Gao Lan first met Xu Xilin, she felt that this young man was like a sweet playboy, like a delicious dessert that looked so good, but if you took a bite, you might gain ten pounds by hurting your bones. It was better to eat the whole wheat black-faced Song Lianyuan.

What’s more, it’s Dou Xun.

Fortunately, Dou Xun has been calm for many years. Although he is a stubborn person, at least he has been able to suppress it on the surface and control his own pace, so that people can't tell anything wrong.

The date didn't go through in the end because Xu Xilin had been running back and forth between the two places non-stop since the beginning of the year, and he was abnormally excited for several days after coming back. It was almost midnight when he got home from Lao Cheng's place the night before, and he spent half the night looking up rentals and routes on the Internet - the Dou Xun brand stimulants had worn off, and just after noon, Xu Xilin, who had a long standby time, ran out of power.

At that time, the two of them happened to come across a rental agency that was not closed during the Chinese New Year. The agent was introducing picture albums to Dou Xun with saliva flying, and wanted to take him to see all of them. Halfway through the introduction, Dou Xun inadvertently glanced at Xu Xilin and found that he was supporting his head with one hand, sitting in a deep thinker-like posture, and had fallen asleep on the small sofa next to him.

Agent: "The advantages of this apartment I just told you about are..."

Dou Xun suddenly raised his hand to interrupt him.

Dou Xun stood up gently and put his coat on Xu Xilin. The young man from the agency then discovered that the gentleman was actually asleep - with a good sleeping posture, which showed his great kung fu skills.

When Xu Xilin woke up, Dou Xun had finished talking to the agent and was looking through the rental contract.

Xu Xilin moved slightly, and the clothes he was wearing fell down. He caught it, held the coat in his arms, and smiled dreamily at Dou Xun.

At that moment, Dou Xun had a strange feeling, as if all the missed years and wasted time on each other were just a dream.

When he woke up in the afternoon, the boy he loved deeply was not far away, nor was he stained by the worldly world. He looked as soft as he was inside. He was right next to him. He lazily crawled out of the quilt, closed his eyes, grabbed his hand and rubbed it randomly...

"Let's start over" these words came neatly to the tip of Dou Xun's tongue.

This time I won't push you anymore, I won't greedily demand a sense of security from you, and I won't do anything that makes you unhappy in front of others.

This time it's my turn to let you go, to apologize, and to knock on your door.

This time I would rather swallow my tongue than ever mention the words of separation and breakup again...

At this time, Xu Xilin woke up from his nap and stretched. His stiff body made a "click" sound. He came over and returned the coat to Dou Xun with a guilty look on his face. He said self-deprecatingly, "I can even fall asleep while sitting. It seems I am getting old..."

Dou Xun looked at him deeply.

Xu Xilin looked himself up and down, touched his hair, raised his eyebrows in a very coquettish way, and smiled meaningfully: "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Dou Xun: “…”

Someone just woke up and thought of seducing him again.

Dou Xun shuddered at his deliberately lowered voice, and at the same time he forced himself to swallow the desire in his heart.

"It's not the right time," Dou Xun calmed himself down in his heart, "Wait a minute, there's still time, don't be impatient."

Then he booked a room and, using the excuse that he was tired, asked Xu Xilin to drive him back to Lao Ye Flower Shop. He insisted on sending Xu Xilin back to rest.

Xu Xilin was unwilling to leave: "If I leave, you will eat leftovers again at night, and my son..."

Dou Xun stretched out a finger and swept it lightly under his eyes.

Xu Xilin's steps froze in an instant and his breathing paused.

Dou Xun didn't touch him, but people's faces are so sensitive that even if they can't touch him, they will imagine it. Dou Xun said calmly: "Go back and look in the mirror. If you are so tired again, you don't need to come."

Xu Xilin left obediently without saying anything. Dou Xun stood by the window and watched him drive away before he touched the grey parrot's head. The parrot had not yet completed its sentence and had no interest in fighting. After being touched by him, it turned back listlessly and bit its toy.

Dou Xun's face showed no joy, as he remembered that Grandma Xu passed away on the fifth day of the first lunar month. Her death anniversary would be coming soon. Dou Xun didn't know how Xu Xilin would tell him about this.

On the third day of the first lunar month, Xu Xilin reported in on time. He had nothing to do during that time, so he made a new plan for the old and half-dead flower shop, asking him to change the incongruous name of "Grandpa" to a literary and affectionate one.

Lao Cheng was too lazy to pay attention to him: "I started out as a kebab seller, I don't understand what is meant by artistic and sentimental."

Xu Xilin then criticized the plastic paper and ribbon wrapping of the gift flowers in his store: "I really can't stand it."

As he spoke, he took down the bouquet that Lao Cheng had placed as a sample and unpacked it. He seriously picked out each flower in it for comparison. After a lot of fuss, he finally kept one. He trimmed it carefully with a pair of small scissors, sprayed it with fresh water, and inserted it into Dou Xun's collar. Then he lightly pulled a petal off from it, took a gift card with a wooden texture from the table, clamped it between the two, and put it in the small pocket on the chest of his vest.

"These are the props used by the village committee when they welcome cultural performances in the countryside." Xu Xilin pointed at the mess on the table, and without looking at Dou Xun, he seriously educated the stunned Lao Cheng and said, "These petals are plucked from the tip of your sweetheart's heart, pressed and processed into specimens - that is, the popular 'eternal flowers', sealed and inlaid, and it is called the 'literary and affectionate' route."

Lao Cheng was completely stunned by his shamelessness.

Cai Jing looked at the flower on the chest of the human-shaped prop Dou Xun, and then looked at Xu Xilin who was walking away as if nothing had happened. He always felt that something was wrong here.

On the fourth day of the first lunar month, Dou Xun was moving, and Xu Xilin arrived earlier than him and worked tirelessly to help him move for a whole day. During the process, Xu Xilin went out for a while, and Dou Xun thought that he had something to deal with at the company.

As a result, two hours later, Xu Xilin came back and bought everything for him, from curtains, new bed sheets and quilt covers to still life portraits and rotating racks hanging in the living room... He directed the installation workers to install it in a flash, threw the keys to the hourly worker to clean up, and took Dou Xun out for dinner.

In the evening, Xu Xilin took a photo of Dou Xun's house number, shook his phone at him, and went back to the flower shop to pick up his son.

The flower pinned on Dou Xun's body was a little curled, so Dou Xun found a small vase and filled it with clean water, hoping to keep it for two days. However, the branch of the flower was destroyed by Xu Xilin's ruthless hands. It was once so beautiful, but now it was too short to absorb water, and it withered away unstoppably.

Dou Xun thought: "After all, he didn't mention anything about tomorrow to me."

The fifth day of the Chinese New Year was the anniversary of his grandmother's death. Xu Xilin carefully avoided the topic with Dou Xun. This was something he didn't want to mention to Dou Xun at this stage. Some rice would always taste a little off if it was not cooked thoroughly the first time. Although Xu Xilin wanted to overturn everything and start over, he knew rationally that it was impossible, so he had to look forward as much as possible.

That unanswered email was proof that Dou Xun would never contact him again. Xu Xilin would always be around Dou Xun, testing him and showing his affection, but he was not idle. He was worried because he always felt that Dou Xun would think of the words "From now on, we are no longer friends and have no relationship anymore" and coldly interrupt his wishful thinking.

On the morning of the fifth day, Xu Xilin got up early. When the old man who was walking his bird just went out, he arrived at the cemetery in the cold morning dew.

The cemetery is for two people. When Xu Xilin's grandfather passed away, he left a place for Ms. Su Wenwan. When Xu Jin was still alive, he renewed the fee for the cemetery, ensuring that after the 20-year ownership period, the two of them would have the opportunity to move in together.

The photo was replaced with a group photo of his grandpa and grandma when they were young. Xu Xilin wiped the tombstone, greeted his grandpa whom he had never met before, and put down the flowers.

"Dounian'er is back." Xu Xilin whispered to his grandmother, "I..."

He frowned. He had not had time to eat breakfast that morning, and his stomach, which had been damaged by the wine, began to protest vaguely. Xu Xilin sighed, pressed his hand on the aching spot, squatted down like a child, lowered his head and whispered to his grandmother, "I'm sorry."

He still loves Dou Xun.

He originally thought that he had been obsessed with money for so many years and had no interest in anyone. However, when that person came back, he discovered that it was the ashes left over from the past that occupied the space on his chest. It had not been swept clean for many years and it revived overnight.

He felt sorry for being concerned about his grandmother until he passed away because he couldn't let her go.

I also feel sorry for Dou Xun, because even though I couldn't let go, we couldn't make it to the end.

Xu Xilin was silent for a while, patted the tombstone twice, and stood up with the help of the cold stone slab: "I will wait for him to come to see you later, I promise."

After he finished speaking, he wrapped his coat tightly around him and headed for the parking lot.

A few meters away, Xu Xilin took out the key and opened the lock. The front and rear lights lit up a few times as if waking up from a dream, and Xu Xilin suddenly stopped.

He saw a man coming out from behind his car and coming up to him silently.

Dou Xun.