Although Dou Xun always returned home quietly, his life was actually not easy.

He insisted on going to work for a pharmaceutical company of some scale. On his first day at work, he concluded that all the bosses were idiots. After a few more days of interacting with clients, he gained a deeper understanding of the uneven human beings - some people require you to forgive them at least eight times a minute before you can continue a conversation.

His colleagues were quite friendly to him at first, but when they accidentally heard about his academic qualifications, they all looked at him as if he was crazy - why don't you stay in the lab and prepare to win the Nobel Prize, instead of coming here to steal our jobs?

From then on, Dou Xun was no longer called Dou Xun. He had a new name, "There is a kid who graduated from a certain school in our place."

He has become a boast, a facade, a spectacle, and is used for fun. Just like watching a star take off his makeup, people are keen to watch the doctor who sells pork online, the master who wears a candied haws, and Dou Xun, who is also a medical fraud.

Dou Xun is a very independent person with little sense of collectivism. He never had a sense of belonging to his alma mater before. But during this period, every time his school was mentioned by those people, he felt that he had brought shame to the school.

The boss was very keen on taking him out to show off to clients, but clients could not be met for free, they had to be met with drinks.

The drinking culture of the old men could be written into a contemporary book "Strange Things Seen in the Past Twenty Years". Dou Xun felt that what they said was not human most of the time, and he really couldn't lower his tone to join in. He could only be repeatedly called upon to toast and drink. In comparison, Wu Tao's pouring beer into him at Yuebanwan was simply childish.

Every time Dou Xun was unable to cope with it, he would go out and vomit bitterly, then crawl back in a mess, and be laughed at and pointed at by others, who would say "Look at you, you've become stupid from reading too much, you need to exercise more in the future".

This is a place that is anti-intellectualism, anti-idealism, anti-youthful frivolity, and anti-naivety and passion. Everyone who comes in, regardless of their qualifications and personality, will be pressed into the same meat grinder, repeatedly polished and beaten, and finally produce a finished product that is no different from everyone else's.

Dou Xun was at a loss at first, and soon he felt like vomiting when he heard the word "go to work". He was almost fed up with the work and was struggling to survive. When people are tense to a certain extent, they only have time to look at the road ahead and forget about the distance. Sometimes Dou Xun even forgot his original plan and the original intention of deciding to work. He just wanted to fight for his life.

Unexpectedly, he heard Grandma Xu's words outside the ward without warning, and the uneasiness he had been feeling for days finally reached its peak.

Grandma didn't say anything to him. After staying with Dou Xun for a while, she was exhausted. She fell asleep with her head tilted in the middle of a sentence.

Dou Xun sat beside her and looked at her in a daze. He thought of his grandmother, of the smell of her vanishing cream covered by a rotten smell, of her eyes that were cloudy and blind because she hid too many words that she didn't have time to say, and of the words "forget it" he had just heard at the door. The despair in his heart was like ripples in the water, expanding little by little to infinity, and he was temporarily possessed.

When Xu Xilin came back with the things, Dou Xun was startled and his distracted eyes immediately fixed on him, expecting him to say something.

But Xu Xilin said nothing. He put the things aside, reached out and touched Dou Xun's head, and whispered, "You go back first. I'll take care of her today."

Dou Xun clung to his hand relentlessly, anxiously seeking some comfort from their intertwined fingers.

Xu Xilin looked at Dou Xun through his bloodshot eyes. He was hesitant at first, but then his sleeping grandmother suddenly moved. Xu Xilin seemed startled and suddenly took a step back to avoid Dou Xun's sight. Seeing that his grandmother still had her eyes closed, he breathed a sigh of relief and said to Dou Xun, "Okay, let's go."

Dou Xun's heart suddenly sank. He took a few steps and turned around at the door. His eyes, which seemed to want to suck his blood and eat his flesh, fell on Xu Xilin's increasingly narrow and thin back. He thought stubbornly in his heart: "I will never let you go even if I die."

The next morning, Xu Xilin left his grandmother to the care of the nurse and hurried to school.

"I sent you a text message at the beginning of the semester to remind you that this course has a high failure rate," the counselor said, "your overall final grades are generally low, and the scores have been adjusted according to the ratio, but you didn't get full marks in the usual time, and you didn't hand in an assignment, right?"

Xu Xilin was speechless.

The counselor also knew what a mess he had been having this semester, so he didn't argue with him: "I've already talked to Teacher Zhou, I'll give you a break this time. Make up your homework here right now, and I'll take you to treat Teacher Zhou to a meal at noon. This matter will be over, and there won't be a next time."

His own senior sister was giving up her face and blatantly giving him a backdoor. Xu Xilin didn't know what to say for a moment.

The instructor glared at him and said, "Still dawdling? Hurry up! Use my computer."

The internet in the teacher's office is very good. If you don't understand something, you can look it up online at any time. If you can't find it, you can ask the counselor who is from the same college. But even so, Xu Xilin still had to work hard from early morning until almost noon, and finished his homework hastily.

The counselor's computer was occupied by him and he was so bored that he spent a long time flipping through old magazines.

Xu Xilin returned the computer feeling very sorry: "Thank you, Mr..."

Calling her "teacher" or "counselor" was too formal, so Xu Xilin turned the words around and said, "Thank you, senior sister."

The counselors arranged by their school for undergraduates are all students who have been "guaranteed to graduate school in administration". After graduating from their senior year, these administrative students will participate in school work while continuing to study for a master's degree in their major. After completing graduate studies, they can choose to work full-time in administration, or continue to study for a doctorate and then apply to stay in school as professional course lecturers. Xu Xilin's counselor is called Tian Yan. The first class of students she taught when she was in the first year of graduate school was Xu Xilin and his classmates. She is only three or four years older than them.

Tian Yan glanced at him with a half-smile: "Are you just thanking me verbally?"

Xu Xilin: “…”

Tian Yan waved her hand and said, "Let's go. Don't keep Teacher Zhou waiting."

Xu Xilin quickly installed the mobile hard drive and followed Sister Tian nervously. Tian Yan had taken good care of him since the first day of school, and Xu Xilin was always grateful, but her attitude just now made him a little nervous.

Xu Xilin made up his homework and invited the professor to dinner. Tian Yan had already decided to stay in the administrative field. After the new year, she would be a formal employee of the school and a colleague who would see each other every day. Teacher Zhou gave her this face, but still couldn't help but say a few words to Xu Xilin: "The most important task during student life is to study hard. If you really have the ambition to travel the world, why don't you take a year off and go out into the society to try your luck. Come back when you're tired. How can you be like this, wanting everything while you're in Cao's camp?"

Xu Xilin didn't dare to say a word and just listened obediently.

Teacher Zhou said unhappily, "Even if I don't fail you, I can only give you 60 points. If you don't want this course to drag down your GPA, come back and take it again next semester!"

Whether to retake the course or not is another matter, but at least he has passed this hurdle. Counselor Tian escorted Xu Xilin all the way to the school gate.

Tian Yan said: "I will no longer teach you next semester. I will assign you a teacher from the Employment Office as your counselor. You are the only class of students I have ever taught."

Usually in this situation, Xu Xilin would joke, "Oh no, our counselor has to be replaced by an old lady."

But he felt that Tian Yan's attitude was not right today, so he didn't dare to joke and said evasively: "Thank you for your trouble, Senior Sister."

Tian Yan frowned and looked at Xu Xilin. She didn't know what to do next because of his "unenlightened" attitude. Xu Xilin pretended nothing had happened.

After a while, Tian Yan said tentatively, "I heard that you have a good family background. There is no need to push yourself too hard. You should relax a little. Last time, a teacher told me that you were busy with your projects or department work all day long. You are already a junior and you don't even have a girlfriend."

coming--

Xu Xilin took a deep breath and smiled at Tian Yan: "Actually, there is."

Tian Yan: “…”

"He's not from our school. He doesn't like to meet people, so I never brought him here." Xu Xilin said, looking away as if embarrassed. His eyes softened, but there was an unspeakable sadness in the corners of his eyes. "He also has a bad temper. I actually wanted to bring him here too."

It was impossible for Tian Yan to say that she was not disappointed, but she still maintained the dignity of a senior sister and a counselor, and asked nonchalantly: "It seems that the relationship is good, do you have any photos?"

"We always quarrel," Xu Xilin said helplessly, "but I only liked this one person, so I put up with it and didn't bring the photo."

Tian Yancai didn't believe it and said sourly, "You're still hiding it from your own senior sister?"

Xu Xilin just smiled, stood with his hands behind his back, and said nothing.

Tian Yan suddenly felt bored, waved her hand, and went back to school. Xu Xilin stood on the bleak street in early winter, exhaled a puff of white steam, and walked towards the nearest bus stop.

Without warning, his own words echoed in his mind - I actually want to take him out too.

He also wanted to put a photo of Dou Xun with a sullen face in his wallet, and complain to others on his birthday and New Year holidays, "It's so annoying, I have to buy gifts again, it's Valentine's Day all year round", and wanted to hold Dou Xun's hand and walk around the school as if no one was around...

Senior Sister Tian said that he didn't need to push himself too hard, but Xu Xilin didn't dare to relax.

Because his "girlfriend" is a man.

In this world of freedom, democracy, abruptness, rudeness, and the influence of public opinion...even countries are trying to assimilate and infiltrate each other through ideology, he cannot enter the narrow gate with the attitude of taking the broad road.

The heating on the bus broke down again, and Xu Xilin was frozen into an ice sculpture after sitting for a while, with his limbs stiff. All the way, he was recalling things that happened long ago, recalling frame by frame the scene of Dou Xun chewing gum and following Qili Xiang into the door. He laughed as he thought about it, and then he had a delusion in his mind - if only he could go back to that year by closing his eyes.

If only time could stay forever at the summer when he was sixteen.

Why not just as if we first met?

Xu Xilin was thinking a lot and actually fell asleep while wandering around in the leaky bus. When he was woken up by the text message from the nurse reminding him of an appointment, he had already passed two stops!

He had no choice but to walk back tremblingly, tidied the room, comforted the depressed grey parrot, and prepared to cook a few dishes to take to the hospital. Just as he turned off the fire and had not yet served the dishes, Dou Xun came back from get off work.

Dou Xunwei had not yet experienced the "alcohol test". He had caught a cold these two days and the pain was like being pricked by needles. When he entered the room, he bent over and stood for a long time holding onto the door frame.

Xu Xilin heard the door open and didn't hear any voice for a long time. He came out to take a look and was frightened by Dou Xun. He quickly helped him to the sofa in the living room and made him a cup of ginger sugar water. Dou Xun just took two sips and then hurriedly ran to vomit.

Xu Xilin hurriedly chased after him. Dou Xun's stomach was empty, and he vomited all water, like a river and a sea, but the wind was loud and the rain was small. His face turned red and then white, and his hands began to tremble after vomiting. Xu Xilin patted his back while raising one hand to protect him fearfully, suspecting that he would fall to the ground at any time: "What's going on?"

Dou Xun waved his hands, rinsed his mouth expressionlessly, and collapsed on the sofa with his back facing up.

After Dou Junliang came to see him, Xu Xilin had been so busy at school that he hadn't been home for a long time. He had no idea that Dou Xun was in this state. He found a blanket and covered Dou Xun with it: "Is it like this every day?"

Dou Xun answered briefly: "No."

Xu Xilin knew at a glance what kind of life this salesman was leading. He felt distressed and angry. He walked around like a trapped beast for a few times, and suddenly stretched out his hand to Dou Xunyi forcefully: "Where's your phone number?"

Dou Xun opened his eyes slightly and looked at him puzzledly.

Xu Xilin: "Give it to me, I'll quit this job for you."

Dou Xun remained motionless in a stalemate with him. Xu Xilin waited for a while, but his patience ran out, so he simply searched himself. Dou Xun turned over and pressed down on his wrist - Dou Xun's fall in the boxing gym was not in vain. With a pull, Xu Xilin suddenly lost his balance and staggered onto the sofa. His outstretched leg kicked the small coffee table, and the coffee table slid off the floor with a "click".

Dou Xun lay on his side, holding Xu Xilin's hand tightly, then closed his eyes and raised it to his forehead.

Xu Xilin took a few quick breaths, a ball of Samadhi fire running back and forth in his heart. He felt that Dou Xun in front of him was a slap in the face: "You are ruining yourself!"

Dou Xun tightened his grip.

"You are not allowed to go tomorrow," Xu Xilin pulled hard, but it didn't move. He became furious, "Did you hear me?"

Dou Xun: “No.”

Xu Xilin: "If you like to torture yourself, why don't you go with bricks and cement tomorrow? Are you sick?"

Why did he work so hard? To make Dou Xun live such a miserable life? No man with self-respect could bear such a blow.

Dou Xun was not only wasting himself, but also wasting his feelings.

Dou Xun listened to his roar, gritting his teeth and saying nothing, his stubbornness becoming even more intense.

Since he has chosen a path for himself, he will never look back, and will never admit defeat. He will climb down even if he has to crawl. He will show it to Dou Junliang and Xu Xilin, so that they will all know that he is not an ignorant child, and they will stop being so self-righteous and make decisions for him.

Xu Xilin's temples were throbbing. He raised his hand and drank the remaining half cup of water from Dou Xun. The spicy taste of ginger made his eyes red. He was silent for a while, and said in a hoarse voice: "Dounian'er, I will send you to study abroad, okay?"

They are too young, and it is difficult to maintain this relationship. It is better to separate for a short time to give him a chance to grow up and allow him to slowly get along with his grandmother. Perhaps with the old lady's love, he can win her forgiveness in a year or two.

Dou Xun, however, failed to comprehend his far-reaching plan. After he overheard what Grandma Xu said, the boot that had been hanging high in the air finally fell to the ground. Dou Xun suddenly opened his eyes, half relieved and half desperate, thinking: "It's finally here."

Xu Xilin didn't notice Dou Xun's strange expression, and pretended to be relaxed and said, "We don't need Dou Junliang. If you can get a scholarship, even if you feel sorry for me, it's okay if you don't. I will support you first - you can come back and work for me for the rest of your life in the future, okay?"

Dou Xun didn't want to hear it. He was sure that Xu Xilin wanted to get rid of him. He felt that no matter what he said, he was just trying to deceive and evade. "No."

Xu Xilin sighed: "Dounianer, listen to me..."

Dou Xun: “No.”

Xu Xilin wanted to explode for a moment, but he held it back with great difficulty. He thought for a moment and said to Dou Xun, "It's not like ancient times when you had to bring your family along to go to the next county town, and it's not like there's no internet. I promise to contact you every day. If you can't go home during the holidays, I'll fly over to see you, okay? Otherwise, I'll swear that if I've changed even a millimeter in these years, you'll send a thunderstorm and blow me to pieces!"

His last sentence was already full of anger, but Dou Xun silently savored his brutal oath and said, "No."

Xu Xilin shook his head and smiled briefly, then he stood up suddenly, his suppressed anger bursting out all at once: "What do you want from me? Take out my heart and show it to you? Do you have the least trust in me!"

Dou Xun didn't, nor did he bother to make up nice words to coax him. He stared at him stubbornly and stubbornly.

Xu Xilin felt a chill in his chest. He sneered, turned to the kitchen, took the dinner he had prepared, and left without looking back.

Two years later, the two began a cold war again.

Xu Xilin stayed in the hospital with his grandmother for a few days and hardly saw Dou Xun. When his grandmother was discharged from the hospital and went home to recuperate, the two of them lived under the same roof again. Xu Xilin lived in the study downstairs, while Dou Xun went out early and came back late every day. The two of them did not see each other for ten days or half a month, wasting time on each other. The atmosphere at home became more and more depressing, and even the parrot dared not call.

When school was about to start, Lao Cheng called them and asked them to go out. Dou Xun had to go to their crappy company, and since he didn't agree to go, Xu Xilin had to go by himself.

"We already have more than 20,000 yuan in start-up funds for our 'Grandpa' BBQ restaurant!" Lao Cheng has been home for half a year and has gained weight and a rosy face. "I would like to give special praise to the major shareholder Mr. Xu and the second largest shareholder Mr. Dou. Other comrades should also continue to work hard..."

Xu Xilin paused - Dou Xun had not told him that he had transferred money into his grandfather's account.

They were the first small group in Dou Xun's life that accepted each other. Although he and Wu Tao had always had some minor disagreements, and they had been doing menial jobs like working as waiters in restaurants... he was still indifferent and loyal to them.

Yu Yiran: "Use Dou Xun again. What is he busy with? He won't come even if I call him."

Just as Xu Xilin was about to open his mouth to explain a few words for him, the door of their private room was pushed open, and Deng Shu, who had loved nail polish back then, came in and greeted everyone in a somewhat unfamiliar manner.

"Girls change a lot when they grow up. How come going to college is like having a full face lift? Sit here!" Wu Tao whistled at her. As he spoke, he moved away from Xu Xilin to make room for her.

After Deng Shu stuffed chocolates into his bag, she didn't say anything explicitly. It was impossible for Xu Xilin to be so self-indulgent as to refuse her in person. After that, he never replied to any of her messages and kept avoiding her at school.

Being caught off guard by this, Xu Xilin was almost embarrassed to death. He grabbed Lao Cheng and asked in a low voice: "Which idiot yelled?"

Lao Cheng didn't notice his ugly face in the dark, and touched Xu Xilin's face with a smile: "Men change a lot when they grow up. How come you look like you had plastic surgery after going to college?"

Xu Xilin wanted to stand up and leave, but Deng Shu had already sat down and said, "Hello, Boss Xu. Boss Xu is very busy and can't get in line to see you."

Xu Xilin didn't want to embarrass the girl in front of her, so he had to sit there and chat with her patiently for a few minutes, intending to go out and pay the bill before leaving under the pretext of going to the bathroom.

Just when he was about to stand up, Dou Xun came by chance.

Dou Xun didn't say on the phone whether he would come or not, but when he showed up, it was a surprise to everyone except Xu Xilin.

Deng Shu was so excited that she grabbed Xu Xilin's sleeve as if she had met a national idol: "You guys called Daxianer as well! Daxian is getting more and more..."

Before she uttered the word "handsome", Dou Xun had already walked straight in front of her.

As soon as Xu Xilin saw his expression, he knew something bad was going to happen, and he hastily and roughly shook off Deng Shu's hand.