Chapter 5 This is the feeling of love 1
The night was quiet, the air was cool, and the stars were shining.
I sat alone at the desk in my apartment, like a non-stop ant, busy drawing comics with my head down, preparing to submit them as submissions or give them to Shen Jingyu for publication.
During this period, Shen Jingyu did not urge me to reply to the comic creation, and I was also conflicted and could not make a final decision. As Shen Jingyu herself said, she rarely came to Dijing College, but Luo Zihan's three best friends had mentioned intentionally or unintentionally that Shen Jingyu would go to Luo Zihan's house almost every weekend, accompany Luo Zihan, and have a date that belonged only to the two of them.
Date...
I put down the paintbrush in my hand, closed my eyes slightly, and smiled bitterly.
Perhaps, many girls envy Shen Jingyu. She is Luo Zihan's recognized girlfriend, who can legitimately accompany him and own him, and is also the only girl who can date him.
My heart suddenly began to ache dully and muffled, and it continued without stopping.
If I hadn't seen Luo Zihan's sunny smile, hadn't felt his cold tenderness, I might not care about anything, but... I like to see his smiling face, like his occasional tenderness, like his almost stubborn tolerance, like his helplessness when he is angry with me. I even selfishly thought, how nice it would be if everything Luo Zihan showed me belonged to me alone!
I know that's impossible. I know it very well, but I still have unrealistic fantasies. I can't control my heart, I can't control my thoughts, and I can't erase Luo Zihan's figure from my mind.
Why?
Why is this happening?
Yao Qianqian, are you crazy?
I took a deep breath, slowly opened my eyes, and looked at the comic script I had written. My heartache became stronger and stronger. It was not a particularly exciting story, but... my personal experience, the story of my relationship with Luo Zihan.
Luo Zihan doesn't like comics. Even if my comics are published or serialized in comics weekly, he will never pay attention to them. In this way, I am the only one who knows this story. I want to keep it as a beautiful memory in my heart forever, as a gift to myself.
In fact, my time with Luo Zihan was very short, just three months, like a meteor flashing across the night sky. When I passed the retest of Dijing College, I also lost the opportunity to enter and exit the Platinum Hall and could no longer get close to Luo Zihan. If I failed the test, then I would have to leave Dijing College and might never see him again.
Luo Zihan, after we part one day, will you still remember that silly girl named Yao Qianqian?
“Boom boom boom!”
The sudden knock on the door interrupted my thoughts.
"Who?"
I asked as I stood up and opened the door.
The person who came was definitely not Sister Shang Mei. Sister Shang Mei had the key to the apartment and always opened the door herself. Tonight, Sister Shang Mei went to the library to borrow books about professional agents.
In the previous interview, Sang Mi was not accepted, and I could see her disappointment and frustration. I wanted to help Sang Mi achieve her wish, so I secretly called Min Hyuk and asked him to find a job as an assistant agent for Sang Mi. Min Hyuk agreed to my request without asking any questions, and told me to wait for the news.
I was a little worried, not knowing how Sang-mi would react, so I kept it a secret from her. If Min-hyuk had good news, I would tell Sang-mi about it; if the result was the opposite, I would not say a word and pretend that nothing had happened.
"Qianqian, it's me!"
The moment the door opened, Bai Yaning's head popped in.
I looked up at her and said half-jokingly, "You are really a rare guest."
"You're not a rare guest! I came to the apartment to look for you several times, but you were never here!" Bai Yaning complained to me depressedly, frowning tightly, "Qianqian, you really value women over friendship, don't you? You go to Platinum Hall to look for Young Master Luo every day, but have you ever thought of coming to my dormitory to sit and chat with me?"
I smiled apologetically, pulled her to sit at the desk, and explained: "I'm sorry, I've been busy all the time and a little out of breath. Of course I want to visit your dormitory and make more friends, but..."
Everyone doesn't know that I am only a "short-term student" at Dijing College. If I don't pay attention and work hard, even with an outstanding and talented tutor like Luo Zihan, I may not be able to pass the re-examination and continue to stay in Dijing College.
Seeing that I looked embarrassed, Bai Yaning raised her hand to hold my shoulders, leaned close to my ear, and whispered, "Forget it, I won't force you. Even if you don't say it, I can guess that it's because of Young Master Luo, right?"
Huh? Does this have anything to do with Luo Zihan?
I was stunned, blinked, and looked at her in confusion.
Bai Yaning raised the corner of his lips and smiled slyly: "What do you think? Still not admitting it?"
Admit? Admit what?
I was even more confused, staring at her and asked, "Yaning, what do you want to say?"
"Well..." She deliberately stretched out her voice and looked at me apologetically, "I'm telling you this, don't think I'm meddling. Qianqian, you often go to Platinum Hall to look for Young Master Luo. Everyone is very curious and is wondering... are you pursuing Young Master Luo?"
What?
I pursue Luo Zihan?
How can it be?
Well, let's take a step back and say that even if I really had that idea, Luo Zihan would definitely not accept it!
His girlfriend is Shen Jingyu. Such a beautiful and elegant girl and a straightforward and impulsive girl like me are people from completely different worlds.
I don't even know if Luo Zihan can see me. Even if he can, I'm just a silly girl who needs his help.
C "Yaning, I didn't pursue Luo Zihan." I laughed at myself and sighed in frustration, "Ah, how could I pursue Master Luo without any self-awareness? Yaning, you misunderstood, Luo Zihan has someone he likes, he just kindly helped me with my homework. To be honest, although I study at Dijing College, my basic knowledge is relatively weak, and there is some gap between me and my classmates..."
"Qianqian, you like Young Master Luo." Bai Yaning gently interrupted me and said word by word, "Maybe you haven't realized this yet, but you have already fallen in love with him."
I was extremely embarrassed and uneasy, trying desperately to refute her, but I couldn't find a suitable reason. Once someone hits on your heart, the more explanations and excuses you make, the more embarrassed and awkward you will become.
"Qianqian, calm down and think about it carefully." Bai Yaning patted my shoulder, his face pale. "You may be curious why I asserted that you like Young Master Luo. Because I am too familiar with your evasive and bitter eyes. Only when you like that person will you feel helpless and confused. No matter how you cover it up, the pain in your heart and the bitterness in your eyes will still be revealed unconsciously..."
"Yaning, you..."
At this moment, I saw deep sorrow and deep sadness in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Yaning, did I remind you of something sad?"
“Well, yes.” She smiled as if she was relaxed, but still couldn’t hide the tears in her black eyes. “Qianqian, don’t look at me like this, I also have someone I like. I like him cautiously, I like him recklessly, but, compared to him, I am so small, so humble, I could only watch him from afar, I didn’t dare to confess to him, until… until one day, the person I loved most fell in a pool of blood and left this world forever due to an accident, then I knew that he… he actually liked a chubby girl like me, but, but…”
"Yaning, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
I hugged her tightly and felt her warm tears falling on my cheeks. It seemed to bring a burning pain. My nose also felt sore and a layer of wet tears filled my eyes.
I never thought that the optimistic and cheerful Bai Yaning had such a tragic emotional experience. She is the "happy fruit" of the comics club, she loves to talk and laugh, and is easy to get along with. Everyone has only seen her sunny and bright smile, but how many people know the pain buried deep in her heart?
"Yaning, I'm not very good at comforting others, please..."
I raised my hand to wipe her tears. My throat was choked with sobs and I couldn't utter a word. The tears in my eyes could only flow down and fall to the ground one by one.
"Silly Qianqian, thank you."
She also raised her hand to wipe away my tears, and then smiled at me with tears in her eyes.
"Qianqian, go confess your love to Young Master Luo. If you two miss each other, you may regret it for the rest of your life!"
I sniffed, blinked my wet eyelashes, and smiled helplessly: "Yaning, my situation is different from yours. Luo Zihan has a girlfriend who is well-matched with me, and he doesn't like me. Even if I confess to him, he will only reject me, and then we can't even be friends."
"Who said Master Luo doesn't like you?"
"Huh?" I was stunned, and my heart skipped a beat. "Yaning, what are you talking about?"
She sighed softly, put her hands on my shoulders, and shook her head in a reproachful manner: "Qianqian, you seem a little slow to react. Five days a week, Master Luo escorts you back to the apartment building three nights out of the five days. Haven't you noticed it?"
What?
This, is this true?
Yes, I didn’t find it, I never found it.
But... how could this happen? Luo Zihan, he actually... sent me back to the apartment after tutoring? And I, I knew nothing. I was really so slow.
"Yaning, you...did you see it with your own eyes?"
Bai Yaning nodded very vigorously, and a helpless smile appeared on her round face.
"I've only seen it once. That night, I saw you walking back to the apartment. I wanted to chase you and say hello, but suddenly I found Master Luo not far behind you. At that time, I thought you two had a quarrel and deliberately walked separately, one in front of the other. Who knew... After watching you walk into the apartment, Master Luo turned back. At first, I didn't pay much attention to it. However, people kept talking about the same situation, and it has been more than half a month. The other party is still the indifferent and arrogant genius master of the 'Four Major Families'. It will definitely attract other people's attention and curiosity."
"But, but I haven't heard any news."
I clenched my hands tightly, my heart was beating violently, my cheeks were burning, and tears blurred my vision again. Warmth, touching, happiness, surprise... It seemed that all the beautiful words could not accurately express the shocking feeling in my heart.
Bai Yaning smiled slightly, hugged me gently, and said softly: "Qianqian, you are so slow and cute. However, it is better to be a little stupid when you are with the smart and wise Master Luo. No wonder Master Luo cares about you so much. Think about it, in the entire Dijing College, who dares to offend the cold, handsome and noble Master Luo? What's more, Master Luo's nominal girlfriend is the eldest daughter of the Shen Group. Many people may think that you are at a disadvantage, so they suppressed the news."
Yes, Shen Jingyu is Luo Zihan’s girlfriend, his legitimate girlfriend, and I... In everyone’s eyes, I am at best just a silly girl who is ignorant of the immensity of the world and keeps chasing after Luo Zihan.
"Yaning, since you know that the eldest daughter of the Shen family is Luo Zihan's girlfriend, why..."
"Is there any need to ask? Because, the person Young Master Luo likes is you!" Bai Yaning showed that confident expression again. I was really curious where her confidence came from.
"Qianqian, happiness needs to be fought for. If you like Young Master Luo, don't give up easily. At least... at least you should let him know your feelings. Don't wait until you miss each other and then regret it. I've met the eldest lady of the Shen family a few times. She looks too smart and is not suitable for Young Master Luo."
I smiled bleakly, the tears in my eyes silently flowed down, and the feeling of heartache became more and more obvious.
Shen Jingyu, Shen Jingyu... Bai Yaning certainly didn't know that the smart young lady Shen Jingyu she was talking about was the mysterious president of the comics club whom she most wanted to meet.
No matter how you compare us, Shen Jingyu and I are like Cinderella and Snow White in the fairy tale. The prince and the princess are together and will receive everyone's blessings, but Cinderella can only choose to leave silently. Because if Cinderella didn't drop her crystal shoes, the prince would never find her.
I have to admit that Bai Yaning's words affected me and caused countless ripples in my heart.
When I stepped into the Platinum Hall again, the vague feeling of resistance that I usually had completely disappeared, and I rushed in with almost excitement.
