Today is Dad’s birthday.
As far as I can remember, neither my father nor I have ever celebrated our birthdays.
My birthday reminds my dad of my mom, but on my dad’s birthday, he is never at home.
I bought a lot of square paper, and Li Ye helped me fold a thousand paper cranes. I asked Jing Yan to help, but for some reason she didn't come yet. Unexpectedly, He Xubei came with Ling Shanshan.
I asked the nurse for help, and 999 paper cranes were hung all over the ward. The head nurse also sent a fruit basket. He Xubei handed me a card with all the classmates' blessings to my father. Li Ye took out the birthday cake and deliberately said jokingly that he would be the host of the birthday party.
The fellow patients envied my father, and my father looked at us with a smile.
"Now it's time to blow out the candles. Please ask the birthday boy's daughter to sing a happy birthday song for her father!"
"I always asked for things from you but never said thank you. It wasn't until I grew up that I realized how hard it was for you..."
I didn't sing "Happy Birthday" but "Father" by Chopstick Brothers. The ward suddenly became quiet, with only the sound of me singing along with the music on my phone.
"Time, please go slower, don't let you grow old anymore, I would give up everything I have in exchange for your longevity..."
But now my father is seriously ill and may not even have the chance to grow old!
Li Ye and He Xubei sang with me, Ling Shanshan filmed with the DV she brought, and I saw my father laughing until tears came out of his eyes. There may not be much I can do for him, but I hope this can bring him some comfort.
Since he was hospitalized, my father's temper has changed a lot, and he has become closer to me. He is no longer irritable and silent, and he always wants me to talk to him, as if he wanted to make up for the lack of words he had said to me before.
He said, An An, your mother is a very beautiful woman.
He said, An An, I'm sorry I'm not a good father. I always scold you. An An, you were really naughty when you were a child. I was both your father and your mother...
He kept talking and I listened quietly.
I used to think that I didn't like him. I always envied other people's fathers. Other people's fathers spoiled their daughters like princesses, but my father was full of hostility even when talking to me.
I used to think that he didn't love me, that he wasn't as loving as other fathers were to their daughters. Now I understand that we just used the wrong way to love.
Suddenly I felt so scared, afraid that the disease would take my father away, and afraid that the family affection that had just melted would eventually disappear.
Dad wanted to go see Mom, so I agreed to go with him in the afternoon. After all the treatments and chemotherapy, Dad's once strong body was so thin that it was just skin and bones. I could carry him to the wheelchair without any difficulty.
When we went to the flower shop, Dad didn't buy the lilies that Mom liked, but instead carefully selected a bunch of red roses.
I stood aside while placing the flowers on my mother's grave. I heard my father talking softly.
"Wanqing, this may be the last time I send you flowers. My body can't take it anymore. I know you like lilies, but I want to send you roses..."
In my father's murmurs, I heard the story between him and my mother.
My father and mother were high school classmates and later went to the same university together.
When my mother was young, she was very beautiful and had many suitors, but she chose my father. At that time, literary style was very popular. She thought my father was really handsome when he wore glasses and read "Rainy Alley" in Dai Wangshu's poetry collection, and she fell in love with him at first sight.
Dad thinks Mom is that "girl as fragrant as lilac."
When my father recalled this, I saw a faint smile on his face.
Although my father was a poor college student from the countryside, my mother did not despise him, and my father also worked hard to prove himself. Finally, my mother's family agreed to them being together, and then my mother had me.
When my mother first knew about my existence , she was very happy every day. She counted the days until I was born. However, when she was seven months pregnant, the doctor found that she had severe kidney disease and suggested not to have children for the time being. However, my mother insisted on giving birth to me.
When he said this, there was a trace of pain on Dad's face.
My mother suffered from severe bleeding when she gave birth to me, which developed into kidney disease. She died two hours after I was born.
Dad said that roses represent love. He knew Mom loved lilies the most when she was alive, but he wanted to give her a bouquet of roses for the last time.
I no longer look at my mother's photo on the tombstone, the wind blows away my tears.