"Why did you quarrel?" After applying the burn medicine, Song Yan sent me back to the dormitory. He was silent for a long time along the way and finally couldn't help asking me this question.
I was confused about how to tell him.
After I tell him, will he know that I have a crush on him? At that time, will we still be able to maintain the relationship as old classmates like we have now?
"It's just a little misunderstanding, nothing serious." I said, "It's just carelessness, a few carelessness led to this result."
"Lu Nanxi." He called me.
"Um?"
"Do you distrust me so much?" His tone seemed a little hurt. "It's not a good habit to keep everything in your heart."
My heart trembled. I lay on his back, feeling more and more complicated: "I just don't know how to say it, it's not that I don't trust you."
"Then tell me slowly." This time he seemed determined to listen to me explain the situation clearly.
Why is he so persistent? Is it because this matter involves Guo Jiani , so he must know what happened?
"Guo Jiani is pursuing you, you should know that." Since he really wants to know, I will tell him.
Song Yan remained silent and just said "hmm" as his answer.
But I felt very uncomfortable. He knew that Guo Jiani was pursuing him, and he knew what Guo Jiani was thinking, but he did not refuse. Does this mean that in his heart, Guo Jiani is actually different?
"Guo Jiani thought... I was too close to you, and she misunderstood what happened between us. She also thought that I was having an affair with Xu Minyou, and said that I was cheating on her. I got so excited that I slapped her in the face. Guo Jiani was so angry that she wanted to hit me back. Lu Feifei saw it and came to stop her. During the process, Guo Jiani bumped into the thermos, and this is what happened." I told her what happened in one breath. Next, I waited for Song Yan's verdict on me.
Song Yan said: "What about Guo Jiani? Why did only Lu Feifei go to the infirmary?"
"I don't know," I said. "She saw I was burned, got scared and ran away."
Song Yan stopped talking again. I was very worried. What would he think of me? Would he think I was really two-timing like Guo Jiani said?
"Xu Minyou and I are really just friends." I thought about it and decided to say it out loud, "It seems that we are just old classmates. Guo Jiani just likes you too much, so she feels uneasy."
"We are just old classmates?" Song Yan asked me, "Lu Nanxi, it turns out that the relationship between us is just such a simple one."
"Huh?" I was stunned. I didn't know why Song Yan said that. "But, we are indeed classmates."
"Well, they are indeed old classmates. However, besides old classmates, aren't they new classmates?" Song Yan's voice was filled with a hint of laughter. "New classmates and old classmates can bump into each other in such a way. Can't the relationship evolve into that of good friends?"
Are you good friends?
I seemed to feel a little secretly happy, but also a little lost.
I was more thankful that I didn't express my love for him just now, otherwise I would have lost even our friendship.
He sent me downstairs to the dormitory. Because I couldn't walk, the dormitory manager made an exception and asked Song Yan to send me to the dormitory. He put me on a stool, reached out and touched my head, and said, "Student Lu Nanxi, remember to apply medicine and don't touch cold water, understand?"
"I understand." I lowered my head, not daring to look up at him.
I didn't dare to raise my head until Song Yan walked out of the dormitory and heard the door closing.
"Leave the application of the medicine to me." Lu Feifei stood in front of me, her expression still full of guilt, "I'm really sorry, it must be very painful."
"It will definitely hurt, but it doesn't hurt that much now." I smiled at her, "Don't think too much, I don't blame you, it's really not your fault."
"It's because of Sisi." She was silent for a while, then whispered, "You and Guo Jiani quarreled because of Sisi, right?"
I was a little surprised: "How did you know?"
I remember that she was not in the dormitory at that time, so there was no reason for her to know about this.
"The girl in the next dorm told me that Sisi had a fight with you," said Lu Feifei.
For the first time, I felt that the girls in the neighboring dormitory were really nosy, even though the girl who helped me at that time was from the neighboring dormitory.
"Sisi is like this because of me, so in the final analysis, the whole thing is because of me." Lu Feifei sighed and said, "Do you still think that this matter is not my fault?"
"Even if that's the case, it was Guo Jiani who knocked over the water bottle, and it was Guo Jiani who mocked me. This is just a quarrel between Guo Jiani and me." I said, "I don't want to pry into the matter between you and Wang Sisi. Don't blame yourself anymore. This matter has nothing to do with you."
Lu Feifei didn't say it was her fault anymore, but she still insisted on helping me apply the medicine. There was only a small place where I couldn't apply the medicine myself, but the rest of the place could be handled.
Because of my leg injury, Dr. Jiang generously wrote me a note for a week. During this week, I just stayed in the dormitory obediently.
Guo Jiani did not come back that night. She came back the next morning. No one knew where she went that night. After she came back, she completely ignored me. And Wang Sisi, who had quarreled with me that day, started to make things difficult for Lu Feifei. Lu Feifei still endured it and insisted on not quarreling .
To be honest, I really admire her patience. If it were me, I really wouldn't be able to bear it.
Not having to go to class meant not having to get up early. I was still lying in bed when I heard someone knocking on our dormitory window.
Our dormitory is on the first floor, and there is a square not far outside the window.
I got out of bed and walked to the window, only to see Song Yan standing there. I opened the window and was about to ask him what he was doing when he stuffed something hot in my mouth, waved at me, and said, "Don't thank me too much."
After saying that, he left.
I looked at the breakfast in my hand, and the corners of my mouth rose unconsciously.
There is nothing wrong with this. The position of a good friend is still some distance away from what I want, but I seem to be satisfied with this position. It's good like this, it's already very good.
I finished washing up and had breakfast, and was about to wash my hands when my cell phone rang. I walked over and looked at the caller ID. The person calling was Xu Minyou.
I don’t know why, but when I saw this name, I remembered what Guo Jiani said that day.
Could it be that Xu Minyou and I were really too close? To the point where she misunderstood that there was something going on between Xu Minyou and me?
I picked up the phone, and a hoarse voice came from the other end: "Nanxi, where are you?"
My heart instantly rose to the sky, and I quickly asked, "What's wrong? Xu Minyou, what's wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell again? Where are you? I'll come to you right away."
"Does my voice sound terrible?" he asked.
I remember that time, his face was as white as paper, and he asked me if he looked terrible.
"No, you haven't told me where you are yet." I tried to continue asking.
"I'm fine, I just suddenly wanted to hear your voice." He whispered, as if mumbling to himself, "Okay, that's all, bye."
I wanted to say something else when the call was suddenly hung up. I called again but the phone was turned off.
I was extremely anxious, and suddenly I remembered that Dr. Jiang gave me a business card when he asked me to help him treat Xu Minyou last time.
But where did I put that business card? I don't even remember it!
Finally, the business card was found in an English book.
I hurriedly called Dr. Jiang, who seemed to be still asleep. I said, "Xu Minyou seems to have had an accident. He just called me and he's not right, but I don't know where he is. He won't tell me where he is!"
Doctor Jiang perked up all of a sudden. He raised his voice and asked, "What did you say?"
I immediately told Dr. Jiang what happened on the phone. Dr. Jiang was silent for a moment and said, "We need to find him as soon as possible. Xu Minyou's condition is very unstable. Haven't you contacted him during this period?"
"I'm sorry." I was confused by my roommate's affairs during this period. In addition, Xu Minyou no longer texted or called me frequently, so I gradually ignored his existence.
"Let's not talk about this for now, just look for him quickly." Doctor Jiang hung up the phone, as if he was in a hurry to get up and look for someone.
I looked at my legs with a wry smile. Who was it that said the day before yesterday that it was best to take care of these legs and not move them around?
But I can't care about my leg injury now. Xu Minyou left a deep impression on me in the Qionghua Forest that day. If I leave him alone, something bad will happen!
I simply put on a thick coat, wore slippers and went out to look for people. Everyone was in class at that time and there were not many people on campus. After all, there were very few classes that did not have classes in the morning.
I was very anxious and looked for the magnolia forest where I had been before, but he was not there.
I remember the time I said to him, "Xu Minyou, I'm right here."
He was asking me for help, but I couldn't find him. I couldn't explain why I couldn't just leave him alone. I just felt that I couldn't leave a person like that alone. He was as fragile as a leaf, and would break if I rubbed it lightly.
I searched for a long time but couldn't find him. I was getting more and more anxious, so Dr. Jiang called me and we reported to each other where we had searched and finally ruled out what was left.
He can't go to places with too many people, so he should still be on campus, but where could he be? I can't think of it. I can't think of it at all!
I walked down the asphalt road and saw from afar that the playground was empty and didn't look like anyone was there, but there was a small warehouse next to the playground. At that moment, I didn't know why, but I ran towards the small warehouse. Once people with autism are in an unfamiliar environment, they will easily become anxious and restless. What they want most is to return to a familiar environment, and people with autism are probably familiar with this kind of small house.
I walked over and saw that the door of the warehouse had been opened. I pushed the door open with force, dust flew up, sunlight shone in, and I finally found him.
I never knew that a boy could be so fragile. He was like a pitiful puppy, huddled in a corner of the warehouse, trembling all over. He was afraid, and he wanted to hide in this way to escape from his fear.
What kind of thing could make such a handsome boy become like this?
I walked over lightly, squatted down beside him, reached out and pulled him up from the ground, and said, "Xu Minyou, don't be afraid, Nanxi is here."
He suddenly raised his head, and I saw his eyes, like a frightened animal, full of uncertainty. His pupils reflected my appearance, and then he hugged my neck tightly and threw me to the ground, his whole body still shaking violently.
I reached out and tried to pat him on the back to calm him down.
"What are you doing?" However, a sharp shout made my hand stop in mid-air instantly.
I looked in the direction of the voice and saw Song Yan standing at the door against the light. His face was hidden in the darkness and I couldn't see his expression.
"Hurry!" I called to him, "Help me."
Song Yan strode in, grabbed Xu Minyou's arm, pulled him up from the ground, and then punched him in the face. He pushed Xu Minyou against the wall and shouted, "Xu Minyou! Do you know what you are doing?"
"Don't hit him!" I hurriedly stopped Song Yan. Xu Minyou was in such a state that it would be easy to get into trouble if I hit him. "It's not what you think. Xu Minyou needs to go to Dr. Jiang now!"
"What do you think? Don't speak for him. This guy doesn't even respond to anyone else. I knew you girls like this kind of guy, but he can't do this kind of thing!" As he spoke, he pushed Xu Minyou out of the warehouse with force.
I took a breath and ran over to stop Song Yan. Xu Minyou had lost his mind now!
"Xu Minyou, stop pretending to be dead!" Song Yan said, "Wake up!"
"Enough!" I shouted, and pulled Xu Minyou behind me. "Song Yan, look at him like this, how could he possibly understand what you are saying? Please help, send him to the infirmary, okay?"
"Lu Nanxi!" Song Yan looked at me incredulously, "You actually still want to protect this guy!"
"I promised others that I would protect him!" I looked back at Xu Minyou. He was dazed at this moment, with empty eyes, like a body without a soul. "It's really not what you think, Song Yan. I just promised others something and I must do it."
"Then tell me, what's going on with this guy?" Song Yan pointed at Xu Minyou and asked in a deep voice, "I was in class just now and saw you running around the campus with your burned legs. I thought you had something urgent, so I followed you out to see. I didn't expect you were looking for this guy! Have you ignored your burned legs in order to find him?"
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you this yet." I lowered my head. "I promised to keep it a secret."
Song Yan suddenly laughed: "Well done, Lu Nanxi, you have indeed achieved more than you did in high school. In this case, I will not meddle in your business. I will ask Dr. Jiang to come over here."
After he said that, he turned and walked forward. I instinctively chased after him, but a hand gently grabbed the hem of my clothes.
I looked back and saw Xu Minyou pursing his lips and looking at me quietly. I said looking, but in fact he was just looking in the direction where I was standing. His eyes seemed to see something else through me.
He stood there, like a pet abandoned by its owner, feeling somewhat helpless. I said, "Xu Minyou, I'll be back soon. Can you wait for me here?"
I wanted to take his hand away, but he grabbed my hand instantly with such great strength that I couldn't break free no matter how hard I tried.
I was very anxious and wanted to catch up with him. I wanted to explain to Song Yan and tell him that there was really nothing going on between Xu Minyou and me, and that he was the one I had always had a one-sided crush on!
Yes, at this moment, I had such a strong urge - to rush up and tell him this secret. But Xu Minyou held me tightly and refused to let go.
"I told you, I won't abandon you." I felt helpless, looking at his bony fingers - the joints had turned white due to the force.
"Forget it." Courage is only a moment. Sometimes impulse is like this . It comes suddenly, like lightning. If you don't catch it, then you will never have the courage to catch up. Catch up... what to do?
What identity should I use to catch up with him?
Friends, classmates, or others?
I took out my cell phone and told Dr. Jiang that I had found Xu Minyou.
Doctor Jiang carried Xu Minyou on his back and took him back to the infirmary through a small path. I had no choice but to follow him because he refused to let go of my hand.
I asked Dr. Jiang why Xu Minyou suddenly became like this. He was obviously fine before, so how could he suddenly lose control?
Doctor Jiang did not answer my question, but injected him with some sedatives, and then asked me to show him the burns. The skin on many parts of his body had been rubbed off due to running just now, and it looked quite horrible. He felt a little regretful: "It's my responsibility. I forgot that your leg was burned, and asked you to go find Xu Minyou."
"I'm fine. You haven't answered my question yet." I glanced at Xu Minyou who was already asleep. "He shouldn't be able to stay in school in this state. It's very dangerous for him to be alone. He seems to want to find a place to hide himself. What is he afraid of?"
"You should ask him yourself. There are some things that people like me cannot tell you casually." Doctor Jiang said, "Okay, the medicine is ready. Leave Xu Minyou to me. He will sleep for at least twelve hours. Go back and sleep for a while before visiting him again."
Doctor Jiang had already mentioned this point, so I didn’t want to ask any more questions and walked out of the infirmary.
I returned to the dormitory and sat on the bed in a daze. I held my phone and wanted to send a text message to Song Yan, but I always felt that it would be redundant for me to explain to him.
He wasn't that persistent in wanting to know, so what was the point of my explanation?
I buried my face in the quilt, probably because I was tired from running, and soon fell asleep.
When I woke up again, it was already night and it was raining outside. It was sunny in the morning and rained at night. The weather is unpredictable, just like people, smiling one second and quarreling the next.
I checked the time. It was past eight. I got out of bed, washed up, changed my clothes, took an umbrella and left the dormitory. The atmosphere in the dormitory had reached freezing point. We talked very little to each other. Guo Jiani and I were completely at odds with each other. I really didn't want to face the messy relationship and disputes between Wang Sisi and Lu Feifei, and between Wang Sisi and me.
I went to the infirmary holding an umbrella. Probably because of the rain, there were few people walking around on campus, and the street lights looked even lonelier in the rain.
I put down my umbrella, pushed the door open and walked in. Doctor Jiang was reading a medical journal, and Xu Minyou hadn't woken up yet. Doctor Jiang heard my footsteps and looked up at me: "You're here."
"Well, he has been sleeping until now?" I was a little surprised, "He can really sleep."
"Mental fatigue requires more sleep than physical fatigue." Doctor Jiang stood up and walked to Xu Minyou and checked his eyes. Xu Minyou was awakened at this time, he slapped Doctor Jiang's hand away and sat up quickly.
"Xu Minyou." I called him, "Are you okay?"
His eyes rolled around, and finally fixed their gaze on me. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he said nothing.
"Doctor Jiang." I turned around and asked Doctor Jiang, "Is he normal now?"
"Is he ever normal?" Dr. Jiang asked.
"Xu Minyou, do you know me?" I asked him tentatively.
He looked at me and suddenly burst out laughing: "What nonsense are you talking about? Of course I know you, Lu Nanxi."
I finally felt relieved: "You scared us all before."
"I'm sorry." He was at a loss, like a child who had done something wrong.
" I'm glad you 're okay," I said. "Don't worry, no matter where you hide, I will find you. Even if you're so scared that you forget to tell me where you are, that's fine."
He pursed his lips and frowned tightly: "Won't I scare you when I look like this?"
"No," I answered him, "How can someone with such a nice name like 'Xu Minyou' be scary?"
"Okay, go home now that you're awake. I need to rest, too." Seeing that we were already chatting, Dr. Jiang sent us away. "Student Lu, can you take Xu Minyou home as well?"
"No problem." I agreed immediately.
Doctor Jiang smiled and said, "Ah, other people always send girls off by boys, but I actually let girls send boys off, tut tut."
"It's not necessary to be so particular. As long as I'm willing, it's fine." I said, and walked out of the infirmary with Xu Minyou one after another.
I picked up my umbrella in the lobby, opened it, and walked into the rain. I stood there, waiting for him to come under my umbrella.
After sending Xu Minyou downstairs to the apartment building, I said, "Come in quickly."
Xu Minyou walked up the steps and into the porch.
I spun around holding the umbrella, then turned around and prepared to go back to the dormitory.
"Nanxi." His somewhat fragile voice came amid the sound of rain.
I stopped and looked back at him. This lonely apartment building looked even lonelier and more desolate in the heavy rain. Only one light was on, forming a faint halo behind him. The rain was pouring down heavily.
I remembered that he couldn't see colors, so now, what he could see with his eyes was probably more of darkness. That little light was just a few remaining stars in the dark night, unable to illuminate the dark despair in his heart.
He suddenly ran towards me very quickly. I was so anxious that I shouted, "Don't run! It's raining so hard, you'll get wet!"
However, he seemed to not hear me and continued to run towards me stubbornly. I couldn't help but walk closer to him and said, "Xu Minyou, just stand there and don't move. I'll be there soon."
He had already run to me, and then he opened his arms, braving the wind and rain, and hugged me tightly. His voice did not contain any hope, and he whispered in my ear, "Nanxi, I'm not okay, not okay at all."
"It's okay." Looking at Xu Minyou like this, my heart ached. I grabbed his arm, threw away the umbrella in my hand, and pulled him into the apartment.
The heavy rain fell on the awning, forming pale rain lines. Most of his body was wet. Fortunately, he was not shivering at this time. He was just like a fragile child, and people could not abandon him.
Rainy nights always make people more desperate. I just don’t want to leave Xu Minyou in such a rainy night.