Chapter 4: What is better than a clear conscience? 2
"I knew it would be like this." He Yue's reaction was very calm.
I told He Yue my idea: "I want to find a time to take Su Nai and Xiao An Ning to apologize, is it okay?"
He Yue could always guess what I was thinking. He said bluntly, "Let me make another appointment for you and Li Chuan. But this time it can't be during work hours. I'll ask him out for a drink in private, so you guys can come then."
"You're so kind. I don't know how to repay you." I said awkwardly, digging my ears with my fingers.
"Then I won't make an appointment. You can solve it yourselves." He Yue said.
"No." I said quickly, "I still need you. When you get home, I'll go buy groceries and make you something delicious."
"Half an hour left."
"Okay, see you later," I said.
"See you later."
I hung up the phone and suddenly felt cheerful.
After I came back from my trip, my life seemed to have completely changed. I broke up with Qiao Xinyu, and had some conflicts with Xiao Anning. The road to my dream was always blocked by many obstacles, but He Yue suddenly appeared by my side and solved many things for me that I couldn't deal with.
I feel safe with him around.
Sitting in the back seat of the taxi, I couldn't help but laugh, and I laughed because I thought of He Yue. I don't know if He Yue, who was sitting in the car, occasionally curled his lips because of me.
He is like my guiding light, always leading me forward slowly, and I am willing to look up to him, even if he is just a figure that cannot be seen from the farthest place in the world, I am willing to look up to him.
The car stopped at Qingshui Bay, and I bought some fish and meat to make a sumptuous dinner for He Yue.
He Yue came back while I was still busy in the kitchen.
He changed his shoes, put on an apron, came over, and said, "Let me help you."
"Well, help me wash the fish. The internal organs and scales are not cleaned up." I said, pointing at the fish in the basin.
He Yue silently helped me prepare the steamed fish. I held the pot and spoon beside me and said with a smile, "Tonight I will let you see the charm of Shen Xiaochu."
"It's really my honor." He Yue echoed me.
After a while, He Yue turned around and asked me, "How is the relationship between your ex-boyfriend and your two friends?"
"It's okay. Why do you suddenly ask this question?" I didn't notice anything unusual in He Yue's words.
He Yue shook his head and said, "Nothing. By the way, I'm going to have an appointment with Li Chuan to go to the Muse Bar on Christmas Eve. Bring your friends over then. It's nine o'clock in the evening."
"Okay." I replied and put the shredded meat on the chopping board into the bowl.
At 10pm, Sunai and Xiao Anning sent me text messages, both of them kept apologizing to me. I had just finished taking a shower, and my hair was not dry yet, so I sat on the sofa and replied to their voice: "It's okay, He Yue arranged for us to go to Muse Bar in Lichuan on Christmas Eve, you have to make time, this is the last chance."
Sunai and Xiao Anning agreed one after another. I put down my phone, but I didn't feel relieved.
I don’t know why, but I’ve always felt uneasy, as if this matter would fail again.
On Christmas Eve, I followed Sunai and Xiao Anning from the beginning of the class. Xiao Anning said that I was like a sticky candy. I couldn't care less. I couldn't let these two people escape under my nose.
After finally waiting for the afternoon get out of class to end, we planned to find a place to eat hotpot, and then rush to Muse Bar.
While eating hot pot, I felt very uneasy. When I first went to see Lichuan, I felt nervous and excited, but now I was just nervous and uneasy.
"Mu Xi, don't worry, we are all fine tonight, and we will definitely go and apologize to Director Li." Xiao An Ning stuffed beef balls into his mouth and comforted me.
I poked the sweet potato noodles in the bowl with chopsticks and stared at them vigilantly, afraid that they would leave again because of something.
This is how life is. If you hope for good things, they will not come. If you think about bad things, bad things will come.
Halfway through the hot pot, Xiao Anning received a call from the director of the mental hospital. I saw Xiao Anning's expression change from doubt to panic, and her hand holding the phone was shaking.
Suna and I looked at each other and couldn't help but worry.
"I beg you not to chase my mother away. I will go back and deal with it now, okay? Please." Xiao An Ning held the phone and cried helplessly.
After she hung up the phone, she looked at me and Sunai and cried, "What should I do? My mother injured someone in the hospital, and the dean doesn't want her to stay in the hospital anymore..."
Sunai turned his head and looked at me. I made up my mind and said, "Let's go back with you first."
Sunai stood up and helped Xiao Anning walk outside. I followed them out and took out my phone to call He Yue. But because I forgot to charge my phone last night, my phone turned off as soon as I dialed the number.
"What bad luck!" I angrily put my phone back into my bag and helped Sunai and Xiao Anning stop a car.
"Master, let's go to Binhai." I sat in the passenger seat and looked back at Sunai and Xiao Anning.
Xiao Anning cried like a little child, and it made my heart ache.
Xiao Anning is the youngest among the three of us. She has lived with her mother since she was a child. She doesn’t know what her father looks like, but her mother loves her very much and she lives a very happy life.
When Xiao Anning was in high school, her mother broke the neighbor's window because of an argument with her neighbor. Xiao Anning didn't believe that her mother, who was always gentle, could be so violent. When the police came to resolve the conflict, they took Xiao Anning's mother to the police station. When they talked to her, they felt that she was a little mentally ill, so they called a doctor.
Finally, the doctor told Xiao Anning that her mother was suffering from mental illness.
Xiao An Ning naturally didn't believe it, but since then, Xiao An Ning's mother became very strange, and sometimes she would mistake the little girl from the neighbor's house for Xiao An Ning.
Xiao Anning had to study and take care of her mother at the same time, which made her very tired. But even so, she was still optimistic in front of us, until her mother's condition became more and more serious, and the pressure from the family almost made her collapse many times.
After arriving in Binhai, we rushed all the way to the hospital.
The people in the hospital locked Xiao's mother in the room. She pounded on the door and called Xiao Anning's name hoarsely.
Xiao Anning rushed forward and grabbed the director's collar, crying and shouting, "Why are you locking up my mother? Why are you locking her up? Don't you know that mentally ill people cannot be stimulated? Open him up!"
Sunai and I stepped forward to hold Xiao Anning. The dean straightened his clothes and said, "She hit someone and made his forehead bleed."
"My mother is sick and she hurt someone. I will pay the compensation! Why are you locking her up? You will only make her condition worse!" Xiao An Ning ran to the window crying, lying on it and looking at her mother in the room.
Mother Xiao stared at Xiao An Ning in the room, her two rough hands pressed against the window, calling Xiao An Ning's nickname.
"Can you please open the door? Auntie just misses her daughter. Let her be alone with her for a while." I begged the dean, unable to bear to see what had just happened.
The dean sighed, took out the key and said, "Go in and see your mother. She is emotionally unstable right now, and I can't let her out."
Xiao Anning ran over, snatched the dean's key, opened the door, and went into the house despite others' obstruction. She hugged Xiao's mother and kept comforting her.
The dean wanted to lock the door, but Suna walked over, snatched the key, and blocked the door.
I walked closer to the door and watched Xiao An Ning hugging her mother. Her mother was patting Xiao An Ning's back with her hands, making a "woohoo" sound with tears in her eyes.
I reached out to wipe the tears from my face, and my throat felt a little sore.
"Mom, let's go home. We don't want to stay here anymore, okay? I'll take you home." Xiao An Ning fixed Xiao's mother's hair and coaxed her like a child.
Mother Xiao looked at Xiao An Ning and her expression suddenly changed. She pushed Xiao An Ning to the ground and kicked her.
"Auntie!" I was shocked and quickly ran over to protect Xiao An Ning.
The nurse from the hospital ran over and restrained Xiao's mother.
Sunai came over to help me take Xiao An Ning out. The nurse tied Xiao's mother to a chair with a rope and hurriedly stepped out to lock the door.
Xiao An Ning leaned on the window and looked at Xiao's mother in the room. Her skinny body was tied up with ropes, and she tried to break free.
Xiao Anning cried and said, "How come she doesn't even recognize me? I'm her daughter... Last week she asked me to come and see her earlier..."
Sunai and I didn't know how to comfort her. We hadn't expected Mrs. Xiao's condition to develop to this point.
The dean came over, sighed, and said, "You can see your mother's current condition. If we don't lock her up, she will hurt more people."
Xiao Anning quickly grabbed the dean's arm and asked anxiously, "What should I do? Dean, is there any other way to treat my mother? Please, I'll give you any money you want!"
The dean was a little embarrassed and said, "Your mother's condition can only be controlled with medication. In fact, as long as she doesn't hurt anyone, it's fine. If she hurts anyone again, I'm afraid she will be sent to the police station and locked up."
I was shocked. If I were sent to the police station and locked up, it would be even darker.
Xiao Anning said quickly: "No, no, we can control it with drugs. I'll go pay the bill now, and I'll come back to see her every week, okay? I'll give you a lot of money, please don't hurt my mother, be nice to her..."
"It's our duty to be nice to patients. Well, come with me." The dean was also very helpless, but when he saw Xiao An Ning's anxious and crying look, he softened his heart and took her to pay the bill.
Sunai followed Xiao Anning to the payment office. I stood there and looked at the people in the room through the glass window. She was tied to a chair with her hands behind her back, staring blankly at the ceiling.
I don’t know what Xiao’s mother’s world is like now. Maybe it’s in chaos, or maybe it’s desolate. But I know that Xiao Anning’s world is about to collapse.
When Xiao An Ning and Sunai came back, she looked a little dazed. She walked to the window, leaned against it and stared at her mother in a daze.
Sunai pulled me aside and we both stood in the aisle, sighing.
"Muxi." Sunai spoke slowly, "Let's not object to Xiao Anning working in the dance bar."
I was a little dazed.
Sunai looked at the night sky outside the corridor and said, "You know what? As a friend, I really don't know how to help her at this moment. Xiao Anning is emotionally broken now. If we continue to oppose her working in the dance bar, she will go crazy. She needs a job that makes money quickly. Muxi, as long as Xiao Anning doesn't hurt herself, let's be considerate of her."
I don't know what to say, what can I say?
We can't change Xiao Anning's family situation. Although her mother is a black hole in her life, she is still her mother after all. Xiao Anning has to take care of her and take her to the hospital, which costs a lot of money. This family can only be supported by her alone, but she is still just a college student.
I felt very sad. I had to watch my good friend go to a place where there were all kinds of people, and have men with bad intentions touch her. She couldn't resist and could only greet them with a smile.
I suddenly felt that in this world, the power of a person who is not strong enough or successful enough is really very weak.
I neither objected nor agreed to Sunai's proposal .
I have no right to interfere in other people's lives, even if they are my friends.
That night, we stayed with Xiao Anning and her mother in the mental hospital. Sunai and I squeezed on a sofa that could only accommodate one person, while Xiao Anning stayed up all night watching over her mother who was taking medication on the bed.
We didn't return to Yangpu District until noon the next day.
Sunai moved to Xiao Anning's dormitory so that she could take care of her more conveniently.
I returned to Qingshui Bay and accepted the invitation from a website a few days ago to be a host. I thought that I could make a little more money and help Xiao Anning in a critical moment.
He Yue didn't come back until the evening.
I stood respectfully in the middle of the living room, ready to apologize to He Yue. I stood Li Chuan up again, and my crime was unforgivable.
He Yue looked at me standing upright, his hands in his trouser pockets, and asked, "What's the point of you standing here and apologizing to me?"
"Li Chuan must be furious. I don't dare to meet him." I answered truthfully.
He Yue poured a glass of water and drank it, saying, "I am furious. It has always been Li Chuan who stood others up, and no one dared to stand him up."
"I know I was wrong, so I don't have the face to see him again," I said.
He Yue asked me: "Have you given up?"
I shook my head and said, "I'm not giving up. I just want to choose a new path. I've already caused you a lot of trouble, so I can't trouble you anymore. I just accepted a job as a host for a website, and I'll be going to that studio this weekend."
He Yue nodded and asked, "How is your friend doing?"
"Not good." I frowned and said, "Xiao Anning's mother's condition has worsened again. That's why we didn't go to the Muse Bar. And Sunai advised me to be considerate of Xiao Anning's work. I wanted to be considerate of her, but I felt very uncomfortable."
"She chose her own path, let her go. When are you going to that studio? I'll take you there." He Yue put the water cup on the table and asked me.
"Saturday night at seven."
He Yue frowned and said, "Okay."
On Saturday night, He Yue drove me to the studio. When we got downstairs, He Yue looked around at the dim environment and said, "I'll take you upstairs."
"No need." I got out of the car with a smile, closed the door, and said, "Let me go by myself, you wait for me in the car." After that, I walked up the stone steps into the building.
The studio was not as big as I imagined, just a few small workrooms. The female secretary took me to their boss' office and left.
The boss of the studio is a fat man with a face full of flesh, and his eyes become slits when he smiles.
"Boss Wu?" I confirmed.
Boss Wu stood up with a smile and said, "Ms. Shen, right? You've worked hard. Thank you for your hard work." As he spoke, he stretched out his hands to me, and as a courtesy, I also stretched out my right hand.
Boss Wu held my hand tightly, and was a little too enthusiastic: "You've worked hard to come here, have a drink of water first."
"No need, just take a look at my resume and listen to my works first." I took the opportunity to withdraw my hand, and handed my resume and works to Boss Wu uncomfortably.
Boss Wu took it and put it aside, then asked with a smile: "Miss Shen, can you dance?"
"Dancing?" I was a little confused.
"Yes." Boss Wu said as he personally took part in the dance, twisting his body and saying, "This is a very sexy dance."
I was frightened and took a step back and said, "I can't, that... I, I just sing."
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t.”
Boss Wu's gaze lingered on my chest. I crossed my arms awkwardly to protect my chest, feeling very embarrassed.
Boss Wu said, "Being our anchor usually starts at 9pm and ends at 2am. You need to wear makeup and something sexy, preferably something that can show off your..." He weighed it in the air with his hand and said, "Wear something low-cut."
I couldn't help but sneer and said, "Does your website make money by relying on the anchor's breasts?"
When Boss Wu saw me talking like this, he shook his head and said, "Why else would a man look at you? Don't you think so?"
Now that you say that, I know what this so-called anchor does.
"Sorry, I don't think I'm suitable." I walked over, took back my resume and works, turned around and walked out the door.
"Hey, hey, hey, Miss Shen." Boss Wu grabbed my arm and said flatteringly, "If you don't agree, we can discuss it. We have limits, and you can choose a lighter limit if you want!"
"I don't need it, I said I'm not suitable!" I tried to break free from his hand, but he held it too tightly and kept backing away to negotiate with me.
Just as I was arguing with Boss Wu, the voice of the female secretary came from outside the door: "Sir, Boss Wu is meeting a guest now. Can you please wait outside for a while, sir?"
The office door was pushed open and He Yue walked in.
I turned around and glared at Boss Wu and said, "Let go."
Boss Wu looked at me, then at He Yue, and listened to the female secretary apologizing non-stop, looking a little dazed.
He Yue glanced at me, then set his eyes on Boss Wu's hand and said, "We are leaving. Boss Wu, would you like to see us off?"
Boss Wu looked at us with an expression of "I don't know what's going on" and slowly loosened his hand.
He Yue grabbed my hand and said lovingly, "Why don't you go in to the Konjac Records? Why do you have to come here? Do I have to invite you over in person?"
He Yue’s voice is already nice, and when he deliberately teases me like this, it makes me feel sweet inside.
He Yue took my hand and strode out of the studio and through the dark corridor.
After we went downstairs, he opened the car door and asked me to get in. I sat in the passenger seat, thinking back to what had just happened, and I felt a little happy.
"Laugh as you like, but don't drool." He Yue suddenly brought my thoughts back to my senses. I quickly covered my mouth and wiped the corners of my mouth.
He Yue looked at me with amusement, his eyes moving downwards. I saw him turn sideways, and quickly pulled out the seat belt, saying, "I can fasten it myself!"
He Yue didn't say anything and drove me home. On the way, he asked me, "Will you sign anchors from unknown websites in the future?"
"No." I said obediently, and then as if I had thought of something, I asked, "He Yue, you already knew there was something wrong with this studio, why didn't you persuade me not to come earlier?"
"If I had advised you earlier, you would have thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. There are some things you wouldn't believe unless you experienced them yourself," said He Yue.
It’s just as I guessed.
I couldn't help but chuckle, poking my hair with my fingers, and asked shyly, "Senior, you are so nice to me, do you like me?"
"Squeak--" The car suddenly braked and stopped on the side of the road. I hurriedly held the car window, my heart suddenly rising to my throat.
He Yue looked serious, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. I said in fear, "I was just joking, don't take it so seriously."
He Yue stepped on the clutch again, and I could clearly feel that the car was going much faster than before.
I secretly glanced at He Yue's profile, whose expression I couldn't see clearly, and fell silent.
For a moment, I felt like I didn't understand He Yue. He helped me so much, but why? I didn't understand. Although I was joking just now, seeing He Yue's reaction, I felt inexplicably melancholy.
I didn't dare to speak anymore and leaned against the window, keeping a distance from him.
It was very lively outside the car, but very quiet inside.
