Chapter 3 He is the light that illuminates the way forward 04
An Yannan was dealing with student union affairs until very late. He passed by Shen Chuxue's room and found that it was already ten o'clock and she hadn't come back yet. Every year when he went to see Grandma Shen, she would come back after eight o'clock. Even if she was in a bad mood and walked around outside, she would definitely come home at half past nine. What happened today?
An Yannan was a little worried and thought about going downstairs to make a phone call, but he saw Shen Chuxue's figure on the sofa in the dark.
"Shen Chuxue?"
She sat on the sofa in a daze, her expression somewhat bewildered. After a long while, she raised her head to look at An Yannan, and suddenly smiled: "Call me?"
Her voice was so hoarse that An Yannan was a little frightened.
He wanted to turn on the light, but Shen Chuxue stopped him: "No, don't turn on the light, my eyes hurt. Come and sit with me for a while, it will be fine in a while."
She hid in the darkness, sitting on the sofa with her legs hugged, and An Yannan gradually approached.
"An Yannan, do you know that I went to see grandma today, and also saw Grandpa Lin... I haven't seen Grandpa Lin for a long time, really for a long time. If it weren't for that photo, I would almost forget how kind Grandpa Lin was and how good he was to me. I even thought that since Grandpa Lin was so good to me, why not just forget it , just consider it as repaying a favor, and forget about grandma's revenge... Lin Jianluo was good to me, Grandpa Lin was good to me, and Aunt Zhirou was also very good to me, so why not just forget it, forget it..."
She kept telling herself that she might as well just forget about it. She tried very hard to convince herself not to seek revenge. Living in hatred was really painful and lonely. Whenever she saw An Cenxi smiling happily, she would envy him.
Envy others...
So, when she said today in front of her grandmother's tombstone that she was very happy when she met Lin Jianluo, she was really happy.
Finally, there was someone who said he would protect me, even though that person was not as tall as me back then, and would happily share the trophy with me...
She had always known that Lin Jianluo liked her very much.
never mind……
These two words have been lingering on my lips.
But now...
"An Yannan, I always thought that I had a bad life, and my grandma had a bad life... The doctor clearly said that if I took good care of myself, I could recover and live a long life. It is normal for an old person to have illnesses, and there will be no problem as long as I take good care of myself, but grandma still didn't survive that winter. Grandpa Lin and grandma both died that winter... Do you know why I am so afraid of winter? I always suffer from insomnia late at night in winter. I am afraid that winter has taken away so much from me." Her voice was hoarse and revealed despair.
An Yannan could not see Shen Chuxue's gaze in the darkness. Perhaps she closed her eyes, unwilling to let him see her humble despair again.
She said: "An Yannan, you know, I don't want to hate, I want to be like an ordinary girl, laughing when happy and crying when sad, but An Yannan, I don't have the chance anymore, I don't have the chance anymore..."
She said: "An Yannan, you know, I can't do it..."
That night, Shen Chuxue sat on the sofa all night and fell ill the next day.
An Yannan sat with her on the sofa, but the two of them didn't say anything.
Shen Chuxue had been ill for more than half a month and had not recovered. Li Qiuhe was terrified, fearing that Shen Chuxue would die from her illness. She cried in Shen Chuxue's room every day, but she did not dare to cry in front of An Wei and An Cenxi.
At this time, Li Qiuhe was Shen Chuxue's only mother.
I thought Shen Chuxue was just sick because she caught a cold when she went to see her grandmother, but the doctor said it was a mental illness. Shen Chuxue didn't care at all and drank the Chinese medicine faster than drinking boiled water.
An Yannan watched her finish drinking the medicine and saw her start to feel sleepy.
But today she didn't fall asleep.
"Did you leave something unsaid? Shen Chuxue, I am alone just like you. We are just like snuggling together for warmth... If you continue like this, you will really die."
But I don't want you to die...
Shen Chuxue's laughter was like a bell, ringing in An Yannan's ears, but it sounded a little helpless.
"Don't worry, I won't commit suicide. I will be fine. But I want to taste what the medicine tastes like. I want to taste what the medicine grandma drank tastes like..." She paused and continued, "I want to taste what the replaced medicine tastes like. I want to taste what the medicine that killed grandma tastes like. I must always remember it..."
Yes, the medicine that killed grandma...
Shen Chuxue laughed and laughed until her laughter turned into a loud laugh.
Yes, she finally knew, she finally knew how the winter that grandma couldn't survive came.
