Chapter 25: Turbulent Times (3)
"Love you, Shu'er, I love you, only you——"
Lin Wei had been suppressing her emotions for a long time and had no way to vent them. She had no intention of opening up the emotions that were sealed up in Zhao Ziheng's heart, so Zhao Ziheng mistakenly thought she was someone else and poured out his innermost thoughts to her. How could Lin Wei not feel pain when she heard Zhao Ziheng's innermost thoughts?
"Even if it's in a dream, do you know how much I miss you?"
Gently loosening his arms that were tightly hugging Lin Wei, he gazed at her with loving eyes. Although Lin Wei was still in tears, Zhao Ziheng couldn't help but kiss her lips. Whether it was hugging or kissing, no matter what Zhao Ziheng did to Lin Wei, Lin Wei still knew how to cry as if she had lost her soul...
Suddenly, when Zhao Ziheng was kissing Lin Wei in ecstasy, a wake-up call seemed to ring in his mind, awakening Zhao Ziheng instantly. Zhao Ziheng realized his actions and let go of Lin Wei as if he had received an electric shock...
"sorry--"
Zhao Ziheng just said this in his bewildered state, and this unintentional remark made Lin Wei's heart ache even more.
Soon realizing his mistake, Zhao Ziheng calmed down and sat back in his chair...
"What can I do to prevent you from getting hurt? From the beginning to the end, the person I least want to hurt is you. As long as you tell me how to make you less painful, I can even give you my life."
"…What's the use of life? There is no room for anyone else in your heart. In your heart, there is only Shu'er from beginning to end. After so long, can't you forget her?"
The voice that came with
"...I can't forget her. She's the only one I want to protect. The days when she's not around are a torment for me. Just thinking about her, I can still feel her warmth in my hands -"
There were no exaggerated words or distinctive behaviors. Lin Wei could clearly feel how insignificant she was in Zhao Ziheng's heart.
"If that's the case, then why did you do this to me? Why did you put me in such a lonely position? Since you can't love me or accept me, you could just reject me. Why did you do this? Don't you think this is cruel enough?"
"I wanted to make it up to you, to make it up to you as much as possible, until I realized it was too late. I don't expect you to forgive me, I just ask you not to be sad for someone like me. It's not worth it-"
He was unable to make up for the consequences he had caused, and he resolutely faced and accepted it. It was precisely because of this that Lin Wei could not hate him...
"You were the one who said that I could try to forget and accept it. Why do you regret it now? Even if you can't forget, you shouldn't reject me in this way. Why—"
Lin Wei was smart and clever. She remained calm even in this situation. She knew that Zhao Ziheng could not change his mind suddenly, but she didn't know what kind of changes had taken place in his state of mind and what caused his change.
Where to start?
Facing Lin Wei's questioning, Zhao Ziheng subconsciously avoided it because he didn't know what to say and how to prevent her from getting hurt further...
"Are you still going to keep it secret at this point?"
Lin Wei, who was crying non-stop, realized that Zhao Ziheng was avoiding her, and her sadness made her burst into tears.
Looking at Lin Wei, who had lost her usual beauty and was in tears, Zhao Ziheng struggled for a moment in his heart, and finally mustered up the courage: "Shu'er, I found Shu'er."
Hearing Zhao Ziheng's words, Lin Wei's heart was struck by lightning again...
"And you know her, even though she is not the Shu'er of the past, I still know that she is Shu'er. We have been together since the incident in Gray Valley—"
"In other words, the reason you've been missing till now is because of her?"
Zhao Ziheng nodded.
"Who is it? Who is this person I also know?"
"...Yinyin, the dancer among the five great beauties in the world, Zhang Yinyin, the daughter of the prime minister of the Zhou Kingdom—"
When Lin Wei heard that familiar name, her mind went blank, and all the past events related to Yin Yin reappeared in her mind like a revolving lantern...
There was a long silence.
Lin Wei's tears seemed to have stopped.
"Really? It was her..."
Until now, Lin Wei finally understood why Zhao Ziheng became a little strange whenever something about Yinyin happened, including when he insisted on staying under house arrest in Zhou State, including when he seemed frustrated after Yinyin's death, including when he insisted on convening the parliament of the two countries after she was assassinated on their wedding day. It turned out that there were reasons for everything. It turned out that what he did until the very end was not for her...
"Perhaps it is difficult for you to accept. Shu'er came to this world just like me and is now incarnated in this body. Even though it is not her real self, her soul is Shu'er. Although I did not know it at first, I gradually realized that there was a shadow of Shu'er in strangers. It was not until I arrived in the Valley of Ashes that I got the answer. She was framed and harmed time and time again, and I could not sit idly by. I once swore that I would stay with her for the rest of my life. Now that God has given me this opportunity again, I will never let it go again—"
"In that case why aren't you with her now?"
Lin Wei, who had returned to her normal state, was calm and composed but unable to suppress her trembling as she asked Zhao Ziheng the whole story.
"Because a lot of things happened, she is now in a state of half-life. Although she is still alive, she is no different from being dead. I came back to save her because I need the 'Fire Soul Jade'."
Lin Wei has become immune to the reality one after another, even though he had previously asked her to return the 'Fire Soul Jade'.
"I had originally decided that I would stay with her whether she lived or died, after obtaining the 'Fire Soul Jade' and giving the throne to Zixi, but I didn't expect that I couldn't just sit back and watch, and I couldn't abandon the people of Zhao . Even if I couldn't see her again, this was my choice."
If she hadn't heard it with her own ears, and if she hadn't relied on her understanding of Zhao Ziheng, Lin Wei might have thought that what she heard now was nonsense or even a lie.
"Fortunately, she didn't know I was still alive before she fell asleep, but if she really woke up, she would know it sooner or later. If she knew I made this choice, she would definitely hate me, right? But I believe she can understand."
In other words, Zhao Ziheng and Yin Yin have a mutual understanding with each other. If it were just that, Lin Wei thought she could do it too. She just hated that they met each other. It should be said that although they met each other, it was too late to meet this person who had the body of the person she first loved and the soul of another person.
"Is it because of the chaos? Because the originally balanced world began to lose its balance, so you chose the people, and so you chose to leave her? Do you think you can be free of worries like this? Since you two understand each other, isn't she the one who needs you the most right now? Why did you make such a cruel choice?"
"Wei'er, Shu'er, they are my life, my everything. If I could, I would choose them regardless of everything. But now I am not allowed to do so, because God has given me the position of king. If I don't come back, if I am not the king of a country, I will be obliged to stay by her side, but now I can't do that. Although I can't resolve the upcoming war, I also want to do my best to stop it. That is what I couldn't do before. Now that I have the ability to stop it, I must use it, right?"
Lin Wei admired Zhao Ziheng's awareness from the bottom of her heart. She also realized how outstanding the person she loved was. He was loyal to love and gave up his happiness for the country and the people. How could she hate Zhao Ziheng? How could she not love him?
"Wei Er, please forgive me. I don't ask you to forgive what I have done to you, but I ask you to understand that I can't make any atonement for you now. I am not great, and my heart is so small that it can only accommodate one person. Although I said I am willing to give my life to you, I can't do it now. If you can wait until the chaos is settled, then I will definitely give my life to you. This is my only request."
"Wait?"
Lin Wei knew that this was not the first time she had experienced the meaning of this sentence. Zhao Ziheng had said this before, but when she came back, the person she loved had already become another person. She finally had feelings for the current Zhao Ziheng, but because of the assassination, she was left waiting again. Was her waiting time short? And what she waited for was never the happiness she deserved, but just the beginning of a new pain.
"Then, can I also make a request?"
Lin Wei stared at Zhao Ziheng with tears in her eyes and her expression was very sincere.
"You said, as long as I can do it--"
"It will be easy for you to do this—"
"What's up?"
Although Zhao Ziheng did not agree directly, his tone showed that he could accept it. Lin Wei wiped away her tears, as if she had made some mental preparations. When she wiped away her tears and looked at Zhao Ziheng again, her expression was so strong...
"Just now, give me a little of your love for Shu'er. Just a little bit is enough. I want your love—"
Lin Wei's words were like a heavy blow to Zhao Ziheng, and his mind went blank.
Compared to Zhao Ziheng, whose mind was completely blank, Lin Wei showed a pious and eager expression. She just hoped to get the love of the person in front of her whom she loved deeply, even if it was only for a short time. She just wanted to have...
Just when Zhao Ziheng was in a daze, he seemed to feel some kind of touch on his face, which woke Zhao Ziheng up from his daze.
