For a long time, Li Ziye never took the initiative to talk to Ye Xiang, and always looked at him from afar. At that time, she might not know that this feeling was called love, she was doing this in secret love, she just relied on her intuition and felt that she wanted to get close to Ye Xiang, that's all.
Of course, her life was destined to be turbulent. Last time, she contradicted her teacher and was very aggressive. People around her thought she had found a powerful backer and could not figure out her background. But in the long run, she was still the silent wooden Li Ziye, and she did not have any backing.
After coming to this conclusion, the provocations from people around her began to repeat themselves. The head teacher also always gave her "special treatment" and punished her to clean the classroom for a week for not paying attention in class.
Since she started to be responsible for cleaning the classroom, the garbage in the classroom has increased exponentially. She always cleaned the floor once, but someone else messed it up again. Meng Xiazi would sometimes help her clean the floor out of righteousness, but she was always ridiculed by Song Xien and his gang. In the end, Li Ziye couldn't bear it and had to ask her to stop helping.
In fact, Meng Xiazi is different from Li Ziye. She doesn't like to communicate with others because of her low self-esteem. Although she is warm-hearted, she is very soft-hearted, so she gradually became Li Ziye's second friend in the class. They can be regarded as a "loser" duo. Li Ziye would help her block a lot of insults, and she would always teach Li Ziye to do homework or help her clean up. Although they are not yet at the level of "best friends" or "besties", they get along well because they share the same suffering.
However, at the same time, the people in the class who disliked Li Ziye began to get worse and worse. Once, she saw someone bring back two large bags of garbage from the next class and throw them into the classroom trash can.
So, after school every day, she always had to spend a lot of effort carrying two large trash cans to take out the garbage. Every time she came back from taking out the garbage, her arms were so sore and shaking.
But she didn't expect that even more outrageous things were yet to come!
She had just finished cleaning the classroom and was carrying the trash can and moving it with difficulty to the door, when suddenly a foot stretched out and kicked hard on the trash can in her left hand. She couldn't lift it in the first place, and the kick made her hand unable to hold on steadily, and the trash can rolled to the ground.
The overturned garbage instantly gave off a terrible stench that was simply disgusting.
Before she could react, someone suddenly stretched out his foot, and the bucket in Li Ziye's right hand was kicked away, and the garbage rolled all over the corridor.
Then Li Ziye heard a sharp laugh, and then someone came from behind her and walked in front of her. It was none other than Song Xien, who took the lead in "teaching" her last time. Song Xien leaned over, looking at her with a hint of sarcasm in his eyes: "Ah, why are you so careless? You can't even take out the trash properly. What else can you do well? Trash!"
Then another boy walked up to Song Xien, and together with her, they squinted their eyes and looked at Li Ziye, who was squatting on the ground, with disdain: "That's right, I thought you were so capable, but it turns out you're just like this."
Li Ziye didn't say anything, but turned around and walked into the classroom to get the broom. A while ago, Song's father was hospitalized again. Today was the day when Song's father went home, so Song's mother told her in advance to go home early. She didn't want to stay here for too long.
Of course, the most important thing is that if she got injured, she would probably be bombarded with care and concern from Song's father and mother, and she couldn't stand it.
So she just wanted to pack up the garbage quickly and leave this place.
When she just bent down to clean up the garbage on the ground, the boy lifted the trash can and poured the remaining garbage in it over her head. In an instant, a foul smell enveloped her whole body, and disgusting milk and soy milk dripped down her hair, making her sick.
Seeing this, Song Xien smiled even more happily, and narrowed his eyes: "Ha, aren't you very capable? Keep on being arrogant."
Just as Song Xian was laughing wildly, the sound of footsteps suddenly sounded in the originally empty corridor.
Song Xien's expression froze for a moment, and his face turned pale in an instant: "Ye, Ye Xiang...what are you..."
For a moment, a spark suddenly ignited in Li Ziye's chest, as if a dying patient saw the hope of living. Almost in an instant, he turned around to look in the direction where the footsteps came from.
But Ye Xiang seemed to have seen nothing. With earplugs in his ears and his hands in his pockets, he walked past them calmly.
The moment he walked over, Li Ziye felt the blood in his body solidify, his heart trembled violently, and breathing became difficult.
Seeing this, Song Xien laughed even harder, his shoulders shaking: "Hahaha, I told you, how could someone like Ye Xiang support you? This time I'll teach you a lesson. If you're so arrogant again in the future, you won't be as simple as a bucket of garbage!"
Li Ziye clenched his fists and buried his head deeply between , his nails almost digging into his flesh.
She knew that she should stand up now and throw the garbage back on their heads...but Ye Xiang's indifference just now was like a sharp knife, stabbing her heart fiercely. She was so painful that she didn't know how to react.
She squatted there alone for a long, long time... until the wind almost dried her hair, she began to clean up the mess on the floor in a mess.
After an unknown amount of time, a tall figure stood in front of her. She had not intended to pay attention, but she knew the owner of the sneakers... As soon as she raised her head, she ran into Ye Xiang's cold gaze. At that moment, she felt tears welling up to the edge of her eyes.
Ye Xiang leaned forward slightly, looking at her like a god, with a cruel smile on his lips: "Don't waste your energy getting close to me. I'm not the kind of good person you think. You'd better stay away from me in the future."
Li Ziye clearly felt several sharp knives stabbing into her body again, and she really couldn't move.
She didn't understand. She had always thought that Ye Xiang helped her twice. Even if he didn't consider her a friend, at least he didn't hate her, right?
She really didn't understand why he was the one stabbing her with a knife.
However, while she was still distracted, Ye Xiang walked away without saying a word again.
She didn't remember how she stood up from the ground, nor did she remember how she got home. She even forgot the exclamation of Mother Song when she saw her miserable condition after she got home.
All she knew was that she locked herself in the bathroom at night and took a vigorous two-hour bath until her skin turned red and her fingers turned white, and she bathed so hard that Father and Mother Song thought she was depressed and almost broke into the house.
Mr. and Mrs. Song wanted to talk to her, but she locked them outside the room again.
After locking the door, she fell to the ground, her hair still dripping with water.
She really felt so tired. Ever since she was brought back to this home, she was forced to stand outside this world. She didn't want to go in but had to blend in.
She didn't know why, but the only person she wanted to get close to was Ye Xiang.
He is not as popular as Bai Yuwang. He is always alone, cold and arrogant, and not very likable. If he is not so powerful that no one can shake him, he might be as miserable as her...
Her intuition told her that they were from the same world.
But now, she found that she was the only one who thought so, and he did not welcome her into his world at all.
Perhaps, in his eyes, she was still just a stranger.
Thinking of this, the strong feeling of loneliness was like a cage, trapping her inside. Sadness surged over her, engulfing her with overwhelming force.
It was dark and these four words were the only ones left in her mind.
Li Ziye returned to her old solitary state. Actually, if you count carefully, there should be Bai Yuwang and Meng Xiazi. Bai Yuwang wanted to clean up with her, but his parents were very strict, and his father drove to the school gate to pick him up every day. So every time he would help Li Ziye clean the classroom before the last class.
After cleaning, he would come to Li Ziye to ask for credit: "Look, I cleaned it so clean, can you treat me to a meal next time?"
Li Ziye always just replied: "Thank you..."
In fact, she really wanted him to stop helping her. The girls in the class already had enough complaints about her, and his open help to her was simply adding fuel to the fire. But if she really said that, she would probably get scolded again...
——Bai Yuwang is so good to you, why are you still putting on airs for anyone to see? Do you think you are so great?
——You must be secretly happy in your heart that Bai Yuwang is helping you in this way, but you pretend to be so noble on the surface, it's really disgusting to see you.
…
She could even imagine what they would say and how vicious their expressions would be. But she had no choice. She was not as strong as Ye Xiang. No matter how hard she tried, her grades would not improve. She would still collapse when facing the attacks from people around her...
Meng Xiazi gradually became good friends with Bai Yuwang. He became more cheerful and would even joke with Bai Yuwang.
Seeing Meng Xia Zi gradually opening up her heart, Li Ziye was happy for her.
However, because of this, Li Ziye gradually became estranged from her.
After all, Meng Xia Zi is still a gentle girl at heart, but Li Ziye is different. She is like a hedgehog, always full of hostility and defense. If she continues to play with Meng Xia Zi, it may affect the acceptance of Meng Xia Zi by others in the class.
After noticing Li Ziye's estrangement, Meng Xiazi asked, "Ziye, did I do something wrong? Why don't you talk to me anymore?"
Li Ziye just shook his head: "No, don't think too much, I don't like to talk much anyway."
Over time, Meng Xia Zi seemed to have gotten used to this way of getting along...but only Li Ziye himself knew how painful it was to push away everyone who approached him.
If loneliness is a disease, is she already terminally ill now?
She decided to ignore everything around her and concentrate on her studies. The memory of that period was really a bit vague for her. Perhaps too painful memories really make people selectively forget them.
Time flies and there is only one month left before the final exam. Although she has spent most of her time on studying, she still cannot avoid the fate of being the last one. Moreover, her English pronunciation always has a strong accent, and the English teacher often has to correct her in class, which then causes the whole class to laugh.
In the end, she had lost some confidence in herself.
At that time she was really scared, afraid that even she would give up on herself and become a good-for-nothing.
Bai Yuwang saw that she worked so hard but her grades didn't improve, and he was worried for her: "Li Ziye! Didn't I tell you about this question? You should use this formula here..."
Li Ziye just buried his head in reading and ignored him, wanting to disappear from everyone's sight.
Bai Yuwang also noticed that Li Ziye was talking less and less, sometimes he couldn't even say a word to her. But the more this happened, the more he kept annoying her: "Li Ziye, I heard from my grandfather that he had a friend who never wanted to talk, and then one day he became mute. If you don't talk anymore, you will become mute one day too."
Li Ziye just sighed lightly and replied: "Isn't it good to be dumb?"
Bai Yuwang was so anxious that he scratched his ears and cheeks. He almost wanted to take Li Ziye's brain apart to see what the structure inside was and why he was so stubborn!
Meng Xiazi came out to smooth things over and gave Bai Yuwang a look: "If Ziye doesn't like to talk, don't force her to talk... I still don't understand a question, how about you help me with it?"
Bai Yuwang took a deep breath, and then sighed: "Axia, you are really good at this. People who want to ask me for guidance are lining up, but I just don't appreciate it at all!"
Maybe she really is mentally ill. Bai Yuwang is so eager to be nice to her, but she keeps him at a distance. However, she can never let go of Ye Xiang, who says every word like a knife.
In fact, after that day, she never got up early to take the same bus with Ye Xiang, nor did she deliberately pass by their class to look at him, nor would she go to the library to meet him by chance... She knew that Ye Xiang also had a castle in his heart. Just like Bai Yuwang could not enter her world, she could not enter Ye Xiang's world either.
After all, they were not even friends, so why should she be so shameless as to approach him?
But being in the same school, there will always be times when they meet on a narrow road. Whenever she pretended to walk past him casually, she could always clearly hear her restless heartbeat. Perhaps, this feeling was the love described in the novel.
Although Li Ziye herself never figured out what was going on, it seemed that she fell in love with Ye Xiang from the first time she saw him. It must be love at first sight.
However, if possible, she really didn't want to fall in love with Ye Xiang...
The weather started to turn colder, and there were only two worn-out cotton coats in Li Ziye's closet, so Mother Song drove Li Ziye to the mall to buy her two thick coats, and told her to keep warm.
Li Ziye just nodded... In fact, when she was in the countryside, the weather was much colder than here, and she didn't wear such thick clothes.
She always felt that her body was not as delicate as that of the girls in the city. She would not faint from heatstroke, rarely caught a cold, and was in excellent health.
However, she really forgot that every girl has a very annoying relative - "Aunt Flo".
In fact, she would have mild abdominal pain every time she had her menstrual period, but it was not too serious. But this time, her menstrual period suddenly hit her after she arrived at school, and it was accompanied by excruciating cramps...
Meng Xiazi turned around and saw that her face was extremely . He was shocked: "Ziye, what's wrong with you? Is it serious..."
Li Ziye held his stomach tightly, feeling a little weak: "Can you help me go to the bathroom?"
"Okay...you..." Meng Xiazi wanted to ask something, but Li Ziye blinked at her and she immediately understood.
At that time, girls were embarrassed to talk about their menstrual period, not to mention there were so many boys around, and most girls could tell what was going on just by exchanging glances.
So Meng Xiazi quickly helped her up from her seat... But just because girls understand doesn't mean boys will understand. Bai Yuwang saw that Li Ziye's face was as white as paper, and he became nervous and asked, "What's wrong with you? Do you feel uncomfortable in your stomach? Do you want me to take you to the infirmary?"
Li Ziye could only shake his head weakly: "No, I'll just go to the bathroom."
Meng Xiazi was a little embarrassed and quickly said: "I'll just take Ziye to the bathroom, it's okay."
"How can that be? She looks so pale. How about I take you to the hospital? Stomachache can be serious or minor. What if it's food poisoning?" Bai Yuwang didn't notice the awkward expressions on their faces at all. He thought Li Ziye was trying to hold on, so he refused to move aside no matter what.
Li Ziye could only roll his eyes and say, "Bai Yuwang! Did you pass junior high school biology?"
Bai Yuwang was confused by what she said, and then he angrily retorted: "Of course I passed! I even got full marks several times! Does this have anything to do with whether you go to the hospital or not?"
Li Ziye raised his hand exhaustedly and pushed him away: "Then why don't you know that girls will have stomachaches during their menstrual period!"
After saying this, Li Ziye took Meng Xiazi and walked away from Bai Yuwang resolutely, his face very dark.
When Meng Xiazi saw that Li Ziye actually said it directly, his face turned red with embarrassment and he walked out of the classroom without even raising his head.
In the bathroom, after Li Ziye finished, she walked out of the cubicle and stood by the sink to wash her hands. Meng Xiazi stood by waiting for her and handed her a tissue.
Li Ziye took the tissue and said, "Thank you!"
Meng Xiazi did not answer. After a short silence, he asked her, "Ziye, have you noticed that Bai Yuwang cares about you so much..."
Li Ziye's stomach still hurt. She tried to recall the way Bai Yuwang, that idiot, insisted on sending her to the hospital. Her brows knitted slightly. "He's a nice guy. He's nice to everyone."
"No..." Meng Xiazi shook her head vigorously and looked at Li Ziye seriously, "I think he treats you differently."
"You think too much..." Li Ziye patted Meng Xiazi's shoulder.
She knew what Meng Xia Zi meant, but she herself had never thought about it that way.
There are so many people who like Bai Yuwang, how could he be interested in me?
Meng Xiazi smiled, with an indescribable sense of loss between his brows: "Maybe I'm overthinking it."
When the two returned to the classroom, they saw Bai Yuwang walking towards them with red cheeks, looking as if he wanted to say something but hesitated.
Li Ziye's abdominal pain had not yet subsided, so he ignored him and walked straight to his seat to rest.
Bai Yuwang came over again: "Well, I heard that drinking brown sugar water is good for you..."
Li Ziye glanced at him weakly and said calmly, "I'll just take a rest. It's fine."
"How can it be okay? You're like this...how about I go buy you some brown sugar?" Bai Yuwang still didn't give up at all.
Li Ziye shook his head: "Even if you buy me something, I don't have anything to soak in. Can't you just leave me alone and be quiet?"
Bai Yuwang was so angry that he could only mutter to himself, "A girl doesn't even have a cup."
Li Ziye lay listlessly on the table and ignored him.
She didn't notice that Meng Xiazi, who was standing next to her, was watching them go back and forth, with a look of loss on his face that became increasingly intense.
After the final exam, the whole class has to stay in the classroom to clean up.
After taking several exams, Li Ziye felt exhausted physically and mentally. She was planning to finish her work and leave, but Bai Yuwang snatched the rag from her hand and smiled at her: "It's not easy for you to finish the exam with your brain. I'll help you with this kind of physical work, but can you treat me to a meal?"
Li Ziye rolled his eyes and snatched the rag back: "I'll do it myself."
"Don't be like this. I just wanted to help you, and you treat me like this?" Bai Yuwang came closer again, looking pitiful.
Li Ziye shook his head helplessly, then glanced at the girl who was still carrying water next to him and said, "She is the one who needs help, go help her."
"You..." Bai Yuwang paused for a moment after hearing what Li Ziye said, and gritted his teeth. It seemed that no matter how he tried to get close to her, she would always block him . Finally, he made up his mind: "Okay, since you are so reluctant to treat me to a meal, I will treat you to a meal, right? You can order whatever restaurant you want!"
Li Ziye rolled his eyes at him again: "You're sick." Then he turned around and continued to clean the windows.
Bai Yuwang is really patient. He has been treated so lukewarmly by Li Ziye for a long time but he still remains patient. People around him really don't understand .
However, because of Bai Yuwang, although the people in the class disliked Li Ziye, they were more restrained when Bai Yuwang was around, so Li Ziye was able to have some peace and quiet.
Seeing that Li Ziye was not moved by any persuasion, Bai Yu became a little anxious. He stood beside her and looked at her for a long while before turning around and taking a cup from his drawer.
Li Ziye just turned around after wiping the window and saw Bai Yuwang standing there holding a cup, looking at her, with two blushes on her face.
While she was still hesitating, Bai Yuwang suddenly came forward and handed her a cup: "It's so cold, and you don't even have a thermos cup. You drink cold water every day. Do you really think your body is made of iron? Besides... don't you girls always need to drink hot water?"
Li Ziye shook his head in confusion: "I don't drink hot water..."
Bai Yuwang stuffed the cup into her arms, with a firm look that said he couldn't refuse: "If you don't accept it, you don't consider me a friend! I've been good to you these days, right? Can't you even give me this little bit of face?"
Li Ziye took the cup in her hand and after thinking for a while decided not to return it. Bai Yuwang was indeed good to her. If she refused to accept it, wouldn't that be an insult to him?
"Well...thank you." She thought for a moment and added, "What do you need? I'll buy it for you next time."
Bai Yuwang's smile turned into a sunflower in an instant, and he waved his hand with great pride: "When you give something to a girl, why should you ask for a gift in return? You can keep the cup and use it later. I don't need anything."
Li Ziye shook her head helplessly. In fact, she didn't understand why Bai Yuwang was so nice to her. She often didn't treat him well... As a result, when she put the cup in the drawer, Bai Yuwang came over again, hesitated for a while, and asked her: "Hey, Valentine's Day is coming, who are you going to spend it with?"
Li Ziye was stunned for a moment, and immediately understood what Bai Yuwang meant. Her mind went blank for a moment. But she quickly came to her senses and replied, "What's so good about it? Aren't there so many homework assignments to do? It's the same for every festival."
Bai Yuwang seemed to be absent-minded for a moment, then asked again: "How about I sacrifice myself and be your tutor for free? The teacher said that good students should help each other with those who are lagging behind in grades, so why don't we help each other?"
Li Ziye just packed his schoolbag and stood up, saying hastily, "No need." Then he rushed out of the classroom as fast as he could escape.
Bai Yuwang's intentions were so obvious that she would know it. But it was hard for her to believe... Bai Yuwang liked her? Are you kidding?
With good grades, a good family background, a good personality, and good looks, what excellent girls wouldn't be around such a boy?
She might be one of the few girls around him who is not close to him or even deliberately keeps a distance from him. Does that make her the special one?
Thinking of this, she found it funny herself.
After a bitter smile, she shook her head vigorously. Don't be silly. How could Bai Yuwang like her? Don't let your imagination run wild. It should be just a joke. Or maybe he is very nice to every girl. He is just afraid of misunderstanding if he spends Valentine's Day with others. At least she won't think too much about it...
Thinking of this, she finally breathed a sigh of relief.
She also didn't understand why she felt relieved when others didn't like her.
Perhaps, deep down in her heart, she has accepted the theorem that she is not worthy of being loved.
Whether it was the abandonment , or the helpless letting go of her adoptive parents not long ago, these were all wounds that could not be healed for her. Perhaps, she was destined to be an abandoned person, not worthy of being cherished.