When I was young, I was always very thin because I was born prematurely and was picky about food. I had no flesh on my face, so my face looked very long and my eye sockets were deep, making my eyes look scary big. I didn’t look cute like other children at all.
I once sat by the window and asked the stars in the sky, why am I not as beautiful as my mother was when she was young? Why am I so unlovable ?
I didn't get an answer, but became more and more introverted and made myself more and more transparent.
My mother saw that I was unhappy, so she often took me to dance ballet, hoping that I would become confident and beautiful. I knew that my mother used be very good at dancing, and she looked very beautiful when she danced. I once looked through my mother's photo album. That was when my mother was not married yet. She was wearing a white dance dress. Under the light, she looked particularly beautiful, which made me feel that this person could not be my mother.
After mom
So, when she sent me to dance, it was also meant to reminisce about her past!
However, since my mother passed away, I have lost interest in dancing , even though I was able to dance well enough to be praised by my teacher with my mother's encouragement.
It was drizzling outside the window. I stroked my mother's only relic - the ballet skirt she wore when she performed on stage for the last time, and a wave of sadness came over me.
Why did my mother leave me so early?
Why did Dad let Shen Xiaoxi and Aunt Chen live in our house so openly?
Why does Aunt Chen treat me like air every day, while Shen Xiaoxi always finds ways to bully me?
She even didn't let go of my dreams!
How long will I have to live like this? I have endured enough, why do they still bully me like this?
Mom, tell me, why is this world so unfair?
However, these questions have no answers.
In the end, I could only fall asleep while crying and holding my mother's dance dress.
I never wanted to recall that incident. Later someone told me that I fainted at the door of the classroom and it was Xia Nuo who carried me to the infirmary.
I thought I should thank him, but I never had the courage to go to the next class to look for him. Our two classes were so close, he must have heard about it, and a girl in the next class wrote about him in her diary without knowing her own limitations.
However, on the third day after that incident, I ran into Shano in the corridor.
He was walking towards me, my mind was in a mess, I wanted to run away, but my feet didn't obey me. At this moment, an idea came to my mind - since I couldn't avoid him, I should say thank you to him at this time.
I took a deep breath to calm my frantic heartbeat, and when he walked in front of me, I whispered, "Thank you."
His gentle eyes swept across my face and he smiled at me.
"Xia Nuo, the teacher asked you to go to the office!" a girl shouted not far away.
He walked past me and continued walking forward with a smile on his face, just like he was passing by the pillars beside the corridor.
He must not have heard me say "thank you"!
Or maybe he didn't recognize who I was.
He sent me to the infirmary that day, it was just a small favor and I didn't take it to heart at all, just like there were so many people who liked him, he wouldn't care about a girl who wrote his name in her diary.
Maybe I should chase him and say "thank you" loudly so that he can hear it, but I didn't dare to do it because I had used up all my courage just now.
Actually, what that annoying boy said was right. I am indeed a cowardly guy.
As for that annoying boy, I don’t think I ever saw him again.
Although he must be a student of our school and maybe lived very close to me, I was so gloomy and introverted that I didn't pay much attention to anything other than myself. I didn't even pay much attention to myself. So I quickly put that annoying boy behind me and prayed not to meet him again.
After that day, I asked the teacher to move me away from the window seat, and I never saw Xia Nuo walking past our class window again.
Sometimes not looking, thinking, or listening can make you feel a little better.
However, no matter what, time will not stand still. Whether we like it or not, we have graduated from our original school and are about to enter another stage of life.
The long summer vacation passed with the long chirping of cicadas. Shen Xiaoxi seemed to think that she had gone too far in that incident, and she did not bother me from then until the end of the summer vacation.
But later, I also heard some gossip, saying that Shen Xiaoxi had a crush on Xia Nuo, so she read my diary in public. She wanted to embarrass me, and more importantly, she wanted Xia Nuo to hate me.
I don't know where this rumor came from, but it gave me a little shock.
Could Shen Xiaoxi, who is so beautiful, arrogant and domineering, secretly like Xia Nuo?
Do you like him so much that you'd do such a despicable thing for him?
When the entrance exam scores came out, I scored three points lower than Shen Xiaoxi. My father rewarded Shen Xiaoxi with a new mobile phone, but gave me a skirt that still didn't fit me.
Many times I have doubted whether I am my father's biological daughter. Is it like in the novels I have read, that Shen Xiaoxi is my father's real daughter and I am just a girl he picked up?
But the birth certificate and household registration booklet cannot lie. I don’t have the kind of background described in novels. I am indeed my father’s daughter, although compared with Shen Xiaoxi, she is more like his beloved daughter.
Shen Xiaoxi and I ended up going to the same school, a century-old prestigious school that was said to have been built at the same time as Peking University.
This school, which has experienced many vicissitudes, is where I will stay for the next four years.
Originally, I wanted to apply for accommodation from the school, but because my home is only three stops away from the school and no more than 30 minutes’ walk, when I asked my father for the application, he rejected it.
"It's close to home. If you don't want to walk or take the bus, let your Aunt Chen drive to pick you and Xiaoxi up. Living in school is not as comfortable as living at home." He looked at me reproachfully, as if he was looking at a very ignorant child.
So I didn't say anything else and went back to my room to prepare the things I would need for school tomorrow.
Tomorrow is the day to report, and school officially starts the day after tomorrow.
As usual, my father accompanied us to register. I really wanted to say, "No need, I can do it myself," but Shen Xiaoxi seemed very happy to have his father go with him, so I had to shut up and say nothing.
But when I arrived at the school, I got off the bus and walked into the crowd alone.
As expected of a century-old prestigious school, there are many students studying here.
The list of new students was posted on the school bulletin board, and at that time there were quite a few people standing in front of the bulletin board.
I looked up at the list. My name and other familiar names were not on the lists of Class 1, Class 2, and Class 3. My name was on the list of Class 4.
Below my name, I saw Shen Xiaoxi's name.
I am a little depressed and have mixed feelings.
I really don't want to be in the same class with Shen Xiaoxi, but my father will definitely find a way to make us in the same class. He never asks me what I think and always makes decisions on his own.
I don’t know what kind of relationship Shen Xiaoxi and I have in his eyes, whether it’s harmonious or whether we get along well. Maybe he has never cared about this issue at all.
I continued searching on the list, and I saw Shanuo's name on the list of the class next to ours - Class 5.
My heart trembled slightly, and an indescribable emotion surged into my heart. It was something I really wanted to forget, but it surfaced when I didn't pay attention, and I suddenly felt cold in my limbs.
After returning to the car and waiting for a while, Dad came over with Shen Xiaoxi, talking and laughing.
Dad was stunned for a moment when he saw me waiting, then asked with a smile: "Xiaodie, have you checked the class schedule?"
"Yeah." I nodded, not wanting to talk.
Shen Xiaoxi sat down in the passenger seat, and I sat alone in the back seat. She held her phone and giggled. I don't know what she was thinking about. She turned her head and looked at me with a malicious smile : "By the way, Xiaodie, I just saw the class list. Xia Nuo is in the class next to ours."
You are really bringing up something that is not related to the topic.
I really didn't want to answer this question, but I suddenly remembered those rumors. Shen Xiaoxi would pay attention to Xia Nuo, is it really because she has a crush on Xia Nuo? Or is she just trying to bully me, just like she took away my father, and took away Xia Nuo, who I have been secretly watching?
My mind was a little confused, so I forced myself not to think about these things and ignored Shen Xiaoxi.
I rolled down the window and looked out.
Suddenly, a familiar figure walked past the car window and I was stunned for a moment.
It’s that boy!
That guy who is apparently very cold, yet talkative, arrogant, and has a sharp tongue!
Did he also get admitted to this school?
Only then did I realize that I didn't seem to know his name, but he saw my name.
I was immediately annoyed. Why did this annoying guy get into the same school as me? He followed me all the way that day. I didn't know if he really lived near my home or if he followed me on purpose to stimulate me.
I don’t know why, but when I think about this, my heart is filled with lingering irritability and anger.