Chapter 2 Memories are filled with cold feelings 1
At this moment, Lin Jianluo's eyes were filled with emotion, an emotion that Shen Chuxue had never touched or understood before.
01
Late at night, strong winds mixed with snowflakes hit the small glass windows.
Shen Chuxue woke up from her sleep with her eyes squinted, rubbed her sore cervical vertebrae, and felt a little uncomfortable.
Why is it snowing again?
Shen Chuxue frowned, feeling a little irritated. She scratched her head and got up from the bed.
As she grows older, Shen Chuxue's figure has gradually improved, especially her height. She is no longer tiny. Now An Cenxi has to look up at Shen Chuxue.
Although she has settled here for five years, she feels that her heart has always remained in her childhood, in that dilapidated ancestral house.
Maybe you love the sunshine, but I am the night.
Shen Chuxue opened her diary and a sentence caught her eye. It was written before going to bed last night.
She rubbed her brows and chewed on this sentence over and over again. She could not understand the significance of sunlight to most people. Perhaps if a person stayed in the dark for too long, he would be like a vampire escaping from an ancient castle, and would turn into ashes when he saw the sunlight.
In order to survive, everyone has a side that is beyond their control.
Just like myself...
She coughed a few times, thinking that she had to go to the library to study tomorrow, so she wanted to go back to bed, but she heard footsteps in the corridor outside. She closed her diary, opened the door a little, looked out, and found that it was An Yannan. She opened the door and stood on the ground barefoot, a little confused.
"Why haven't you slept yet?" Shen Chuxue's tone was polite, but still as cold as ice.
An Yannan was holding a glass of milk in his hand. He seemed to be frightened by Shen Chuxue's sudden opening of the door. Then he blinked and said, "I was woken up by the wind outside... It's okay, go to sleep." So Shen Chuxue watched An Yannan leave, watched him return to his room, and watched him close the door.
The corridor was silent.
Life in the An family was not much better than that in the Lin family. They were both dependent on others. Shen Chuxue knew what she had to follow - living as a guest was just living as a guest. Just look at An Yannan. He had been in the An family for so many years, but when he saw An Wei and Li Qiuhe, he was still very polite and distant, as if there was a layer of membrane between them and they couldn't get close.
He rarely spent time in the hall. Unless Anzensi asked him to accompany him, he would rather stay in his room or the library.
Ever since Shen Chuxue came to the An family, An Cenxi has successfully shifted his target to her. It’s not that An Cenxi is very interested in Shen Chuxue, it’s just acting, and Shen Chuxue can still tell the difference between the real and the fake.
"Sister, do you think this color is pretty?" An Cenxi bought a new nail polish, which was a very pretty color, pink and tender. It was a color that didn't match Shen Chuxue, but it suited An Cenxi very well.
Shen Chuxue took a look, drank some juice, nodded and said, "Well, it looks good and suits you."
She has always been taciturn, and An Cenxi is used to it. But An Wei is not very happy - Shen Chuxue always has a cold expression and doesn't get close to anyone, as if everyone owes her money.
Therefore, Shen Chuxue would always be the excuse for getting drunk and quarreling with Li Qiuhuo, and every time she would shout so loudly that she was afraid that the neighbors would not hear.
Shen Chuxue sat in the room, reading quietly, ignoring everything.
An Cenxi happily approached Li Qiuhuo, and asked Li Qiuhuo to paint his nails for him. He then looked back at Shen Chuxue with a smile.
Shen Chuxue took the cup to the kitchen, washed it, and went upstairs.
I don’t know when it started, but An Cenxi especially likes to show off what she has in front of Shen Chuxue, such as Li Qiuhe.
When passing by An Yannan, he suddenly stretched out his hand to block Shen Chuxue's way. She paused, stopped and turned her head to look at him.
There was actually no obvious change between An Yannan five years ago and five years later. He was just taller and thinner, but his face was still as thin and cold, and he had no expression when looking at others.
Sometimes Shen Chuxue didn't say a few words to An Yannan in a week, and most of the exchanges were eye contact at the dinner table.
"You didn't come to the library yesterday?" An Yannan asked.
An Cenxi stopped talking and just looked at the two of them.
Shen Chuxue stepped back to prevent herself from getting too close to An Yannan , then nodded and said, "Yes, I didn't finish a set of exercises yesterday, so I didn't have time to go."
"Don't knock on the door next time. I'll teach you." An Yannan said, withdrawing his hand.
Li Qiuhuo really hopes that these children can get along well with each other. Now she is even happier to see An Yannan helping Shen Chuxue review her homework.
Li Qiuhuo didn't know how to make up for what she owed to Shen Chuxue.
Looking at An Yannan from behind, he is wearing a white shirt, jeans, and canvas shoes, and he looks very youthful.
Shen Chuxue said "OK", but she didn't know whether An Yannan heard it.
For many years after that, An Yannan had been waiting for a "good" from Shen Chuxue, but it never came. Perhaps in Shen Chuxue's heart, An Yannan always looked like this, keeping people at a distance, which was the most suitable for her - just like her.
Back in the room, Shen Chuxue started to have a headache again. She always kept her head down, either reading or doing homework. Over time, her cervical spine became worse. She started to feel uncomfortable when it was cloudy, rainy, or snowy. Now she was also dizzy.
She hurriedly wrote a sentence in her diary and went to bed.
——I was completely deceived by the hatred of my youth and couldn't extricate myself.
