Chapter 2 If I had never seen the sun Lu Shuang 01
I thought I would get used to the darkness if I had never seen the sun.
Lu Shuang 01
Sitting on the bench in the police station, I didn't speak for a long time. I just looked around. The police station was really lively.
The gang selling fake medicines was busted. The leader argued with the police with a grim look on his face: "I am doing charity. I am doing charity work to care for empty-nest elderly people. Why are you arresting me? These medicines can save lives! If you don't believe me, why don't you try taking them?"
The more I listened, the more I wanted to laugh. I curled up on that long and narrow bench, my heart feeling cold and a cold smile on the corners of my mouth.
Because I was just helping to distribute flyers and was an uninformed person, I was left aside. Under normal circumstances, I would have just been criticized and educated, and then my family would have taken the case away.
family……
This may be the word I least want to mention right now. It is a thorn in my heart.
Some people say this word is warm, but I only feel it is cold.
When Shen Yuxi walked towards me, I subconsciously lowered my head, staring at my toes, not daring to look at him.
After 6 years, he seems to have not changed much, still as handsome, still wearing a well-ironed shirt, and still a person who shines wherever he is.
When he came to my rescue in front of that reporter girl just now, I already felt ashamed.
Six years ago, when he rescued me, he would never have thought that six years later the little girl would not grow up to be a pillar of the country, but instead become a liar promoting fake medicine.
He must be very disappointed, and I am also very disappointed with myself.
Shen Yuxi stopped beside me, lit a cigarette, and said in the same pleasant voice: "Your name is Lu Shuang?"
I curled up on the bench like a frightened hedgehog, saying nothing and remaining silent.
Shen Yuxi seemed to take a puff of cigarette, and the smoke drifted in the corridor. I always hate the smell of cigarettes, but his cigarettes don't annoy me, but make me feel at ease.
"I heard from Officer Chen about you. In this college entrance examination, you ranked third among all students in A Middle School?"
I still didn't say anything, as if whatever Shen Yuxi said would become a knife, cutting through my self-protective shell. I knew that Shen Yuxi had done me a favor, and I should have said something, but I was silent from beginning to end.
I have nothing to say and I cannot defend myself. After going through a long ordeal, people sometimes lose the ability and willingness to express themselves.
"Why do you want to do this?" Shen Yuxi lowered his head and looked at me. There was no hostility, just questioning.
After a long psychological struggle, I finally uttered two words: "Lots of money."
Indeed, distributing ordinary flyers earns 60 yuan a day, but this fake medicine gang can make 120 yuan a day, which is double the money, and they can even live a few more days.
Shen Yuxi narrowed his eyes, frowned slightly, and said in a serious tone: "A Middle School is a famous school. You can be among the top three in the school, so you should have a lot of scholarships. It seems that you are still short of money?"
I looked up at him and said, "Don't worry about me. I know this is probably how my life will end. Trying to fight again is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life..."
Shen Yuxi was stunned for a moment, then shook the cigarette in his hand and said with a smile: "This is really not something you can say at your age."
"Because I have experienced things that many people have not experienced, and I have seen a lot. I can say such things at any age." There was no expression on my face. I knew I must look very sad now.
What should a normal girl say at the age of 17? Talk about celebrities? Talk about TV dramas? Talk about dreams? Or like that reporter, stand on the moral high ground and look down on everyone?
Those are too far away from me. We are like living on different planets. She is a rose covered by a glass bottle. Even if she has thorns, she is soft. But I am not. I am wild and have thorns. All the wind and rain hit me directly. If I don't work hard to live, I will be eaten by life.
Shen Yuxi didn't dwell on this topic with me. He just sighed and changed the subject: "I've asked the newspaper office. They're short of someone to do odd jobs. The salary is average, but it should be enough for you. Do you want to come?"
I looked at Shen Yuxi, stunned for a moment, not knowing what to say.
Shen Yuxi raised her eyebrows slightly: "Why, you're not happy?"
I bit my lip and clenched my hands tightly.
I know that I am not unhappy, but I feel that I am not worthy. I have had some similar opportunities before and worked in some decent jobs, but I had to stop in the end for various reasons.
I don’t know when it started, but it has become so difficult for me to accept other people’s kindness, and I always think of the worst when things happen.
Perhaps people who are used to darkness find it really difficult to accept the sunshine, because they are afraid that the last second of loss will hurt them more thoroughly.
Seeing that I didn't say anything, Shen Yuxi also remained silent. She didn't leave, nor did she urge me. She seemed to be waiting patiently for an answer.
I was very grateful that he neither gave me money directly nor asked me why I was short of money, and even at this time he did not force me to accept help.
I know this is my last ray of hope. If I can't hold on to it, then I may really be worthy of living in darkness for the rest of my life.
So, when Shen Yuxi had finished her cigarette, I finally asked, "When do you start work?"
Shen Yuxi finally smiled faintly, his eyes flickered slightly, and he said, "Okay, I'll be at the newspaper office on time at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning. The address is on my business card."
Shen Yuxi took out a business card from his shirt pocket and handed it to me.
I accepted it, held it in my hand, and after a long while I managed to squeeze out a sentence from between my teeth: "Thank you."
Shen Yuxi smiled faintly: "If you really want to thank me, climb out of the quagmire as soon as possible."
Hearing this, I paused for a long time before I gritted my teeth and said, "Okay."
"I've already said hello to Officer Chen. Once you've finished recording your statement, you can leave at any time."
Shen Yuxi was about to leave after saying this, but the reporter had just finished the interview and came out of the crowd in a sweat. Seeing Shen Yuxi and I together, she was obviously stunned for a moment: "I have finished the interview, recorded the audio, and taken the photos. I just need to go back and organize it. It should be a good report."
Shen Yuxi glanced at her calmly and said, "You are not qualified to write a report."
After saying that, he walked out of the police station. The reporter stood there looking a little embarrassed, holding the camera strap tightly in her hand, looking very hurt.
Maybe I don’t hate girls like her, who are kind, passionate, and believe in all the beauty in the world, just like flowers living in a sunny place.
But I was jealous, jealous that she could live such a spotless life and despise the filth in the world.
She paused for a long time before looking at me. She hesitated for a second before speaking: "I apologize for what I said to you just now. Maybe I said too much, but I still think that no matter how short of money you are, you should not do things that go against your conscience."
I sneered: "Mr. Shen is right, you are not qualified at all."
Her words were not wrong and were so righteous, but those who have not experienced despair will never know that such simple words may be really difficult for some people to do.
