When they were almost home, Xiao Jingjing stopped the car when passing by a small vegetable market and said she wanted to buy some vegetables for her father to eat with his wine.
I stood at the entrance of the alley with a bulging schoolbag on my back, waiting for her to come back by her new motorcycle.
This place is a mixed bag of people, and the atmosphere of the stock market is everywhere.
The passers-by are workers who are off work, old people who are strolling here to buy something, or housewives who are holding their half-grown children and carrying a big bag to buy vegetables...
There are too many people of all kinds gathered here, but a young man like that shouldn't be there.
At the entrance of the alley, a woman with gray hair, but not too old, about 40 years old, sat on a small stool selling chives grown by her family. Next to her squatted a fashionable teenager, wearing a black and white plaid shirt and black harem pants. The chain on his pants fell to the ground because he was squatting, and the "Nike" logo on his sneakers was very conspicuous.
The boy was facing sideways towards me, and I couldn't see his face clearly, but I could vaguely see that his nose was very straight and the outline looked familiar to me.
The woman, who looked much older than her peers, kept her head down, quietly picking her leeks, her movements were slow, but she picked them very carefully. The boy squatting beside her stretched out his fair hand to help her pick them, but she slapped him away.
When she hit that hand, her movements were much more agile. The boy straightened his back a little and withdrew his hand stiffly.
After watching them for a long time, I still couldn't tell what the relationship between the two was. They were said to be mother and son, but their attire was very different. The woman looked very poor, but the boy looked like a child from a wealthy family.
While I was daydreaming, I felt a warmth on my shoulder. Xiao Jingjing had finished buying vegetables and walked over to my side. She put her warm hand on my shoulder and followed my gaze towards the couple at the entrance of the alley.
"Do you think they are weird? Do you know who that woman is?" Xiao Jingjing suddenly raised her eyebrows at me and said mysteriously.
I looked at her, shook my head, and asked, "Who is it?"
"Do you still remember when we were in junior high school, there was a classmate named Tong Xingyu in school? She was the girl who later dated Lin Jiarui for a while. This is her mother. Not long after Tong Xingyu's accident, she started selling vegetables here. I don't know who the man next to her is, but he looks quite handsome. He would come here from time to time to watch the woman selling vegetables. I heard from the fat man selling fish nearby that the boy is her son, but the woman said he is not. Who knows if it is true or not!"
As soon as Xiao Jingjing finished speaking, I had already guessed who the boy was, and my heart was filled with waves.
Xiao Jingjing didn't see Xu Yan turn around, so she didn't know that the boy she was talking about was the one who crashed her car last time.
I didn't expect to meet Xu Yan here, in a vegetable market where he shouldn't be.
After waiting for a long time and seeing no one coming to buy her remaining leeks, Tong Xingyu's mother stood up from the stool, packed up her things and prepared to leave.
Seeing this, the young man next to her hurriedly stood up and stretched out his hand to support the woman's shaking body , but was pushed away.
"Don't come here again. I get annoyed when I see you!" the woman cursed.
Hearing this, the boy with his back to us stopped.
"Little eyes, stop looking at it, go back quickly, and don't make your parents wait anxiously."
Xiao Jingjing pulled me into the car. When the car left, I couldn't help but look back, and I met those eyes that were slightly filled with tears.
For a moment, I forgot to look away.
Since we met, I always felt that Xu Yan was a cruel and cold-blooded person who had no tears.
Only now do I understand that some people don’t cry, but they are just not sad enough.
The moment he saw me, a trace of astonishment flashed across Xu Yan's eyes, then he quickly reached out his hand to wipe away his tears, and returned to his usual arrogant look.
I turned my head silently, moving my gaze away from him and onto Xiao Jingjing's back, pretending not to see his fragility and the sadness that he didn't want others to see.
I fulfilled his stubbornness, but it left an inexplicable mark in my heart.
The stiff back of Xu Yan when he was pushed away, and the sadness hidden in his black eyes, reminded me of myself.
Both he and I were abandoned at birth. We had no choice about our fate, but neither of us was willing to succumb.
Ever since I learned about my background at the age of six, I have always wanted to leave the shantytown.
And since when did he start wanting to come back so badly?
When I got home, my mother had already prepared dinner. At the door, I met my father who had just returned from work.
My mother said that I am now boarding and it is rare for me to come back, so she bought some delicious food.
"Eat more. Look, you've lost weight again. You've gotten so tanned from military training. If you remain thin, you'll look ugly." Mom said as she handed me a piece of braised pork trotter.
I looked at the red meat in the bowl and felt a little greasy, but I ate it all anyway, then smiled and called my parents to eat with me.
My dad, Old Jian, is still the same. He likes to gossip during dinner. He is not as interested as my mom in what happens to me at school. He only talks about the gossips of the people in the alley.
"When I came back today, I met Secretary Liu from our place. He said that our place is going to be demolished soon. I don't know whether the money will be calculated by the number of people or by the size of the house. The house prices in the city are so expensive now. If it is demolished, I will have to find a house."
Dad took a sip of rice wine and said to us, his thin face flushed.
During the chat, I handed him a small crucian carp. He picked it up, took a few bites, spat out the bones, and continued to talk to himself: "Alas, they said they would demolish it a few years ago, and now I don't know whether it is true or not. The guy also promised me that if it is not demolished this year, he will no longer be named Liu. But who believes him? He said last year that if the housing prices go up again, he will no longer be named Liu. Look, the housing prices have gone up again this year, but he is still named Liu."
"The son of Mr. Li at the entrance of the alley wants a divorce. The child is already seven or eight years old, but the couple doesn't want him. Why have a child if they don't want one? Young people nowadays only know how to make themselves comfortable. The daughter of Wang Dongshu is just like that. She ignored her parents' objections and followed a little ruffian. There has been no news since he left. Today, I saw Wang Dongshu's wife talking about this with others. She was crying in the alley. Our daughter must not be like that in the future..."
My mother and I listened patiently. He had endless gossip to tell. Sometimes I was surprised: are there really so many stories in this shantytown?
Dad's spirits were rising, and probably because of the alcohol, his ears were turning red.
I finished my meal and sat aside to listen to him continue talking, with my mother smiling beside me.
Looking at these two old but still lovely and amiable faces, my heart feels warm.
Although I have always wanted to leave the shantytown, I never want to leave this home because it is so warm.
When someone outside the house called "Old Jane", my mother and I had already finished our meal. My father was still gnawing on half a bone. My mother was washing dishes in the kitchen, and I was wiping the table.
"Old Jian, are you eating? Where's your wife? My wife is feeling a little unwell, so I want to ask your wife to scrape her skin."
Someone hurried in from the door and stood beside us and said.
The moment I saw the person coming, I couldn't help but stop what I was doing, looking at Grandpa Qixuan's wrinkled face, and my thoughts suddenly became dazed.
Didn't they go to the United States? When did they come back?
Qixuan’s grandpa and grandma are back, but what about Qixuan and An Xiaoduo?
My heart tightened and I stared at Qixuan's grandfather. I wanted to ask something but didn't ask.
What does it have to do with me whether they come back or not? Jian Lening, why are you still nervous?
"Isn't this Little Eyes? She's at home too! Today is Friday, and we have a weekend off. Old Jian, look at your daughter, she is getting more and more beautiful." I didn't say anything, but Qixuan's grandfather saw me and started talking first.
I nodded at him, found a stool nearby, and politely motioned for him to sit down.
My dad glanced at me and said disapprovingly, "What do you mean by pretty? She has been a wild girl since she was young. How can she be as pretty as your grandson?"
Having said that, Dad winked at me proudly.
"Alas, no matter how good-looking someone is, if you can't see or touch them, it's as if they don't exist." Grandpa Qi sighed, glanced at me, and continued, "Your little eye is still the best, with good grades and obedient, and he was admitted to such a good school. Unlike my Qixuan, he is now staying in the United States with An Xiaoduo and doesn't want to come back. After all, the United States is a place for young people. My wife and I couldn't get used to it, so we came back. Although my son and grandson are all outside, there are neighbors here, and this old place is still popular. I have lived here for most of my life and I just can't leave."
My heart skipped a beat and I felt an inexplicable sense of loss.
They haven't come back yet, I thought...
Ha! Jian Lening, what are you thinking about? I just heard Lin Jiarui and An Xiaoduo talking on the phone a few days ago. I knew they wouldn't be back. How could they suddenly come back a few days later?
Since they have left, how can they come back so easily? They are not Grandpa Qi and Grandma Qi. They are old and want to return to their roots.
But it’s okay not to come back.
No meeting, no thinking, no embarrassment, no touching.
Not coming back, that's good.
When my eldest cousin came to our house to look for Ling'er, my mother went to Grandpa Qi's house to help Grandma Qi with scraping. My father got drunk, so he washed up early and went to bed.
When she came in, I was alone at the desk in my bedroom doing my homework.
"Le Ning, didn't Ling Er come to your house today? When I came back from get off work, I didn't see her at home. I thought she went out to play, but now it's almost seven o'clock and she hasn't come back yet. Has she ever been to your place?"
My eldest cousin was so anxious that her eyes turned red and her voice was choked with sobs.
I became nervous along with her, stood up from the stool, and patted her shoulder to comfort her: "Did you go to your classmate's house to play?"
"I've looked for her. The kids who used to play with her said they hadn't seen her. Nothing in the house was touched. The neighbors said she had never been home. I saw this on the pillow on her bed. Le Ning, do you think Ling'er ran away from home?"
My eldest cousin finally couldn't hold back her tears and with trembling fingers she took out a small diary from her bag and handed it to me.
That was Ling'er's diary, which recorded the true emotions of an eight-year-old child written in childish handwriting.
"Mom comes home very late every day. There was thunder today and I was scared, but Mom was still at work and didn't come home. I hid in my bed and cried, wondering when Mom would come home..."
"Today, Li Dongying's mother bought her a nice new dress, which cost more than 200 yuan. I asked her mother to buy me new clothes, but she didn't. My mother is very stingy and never buys me new clothes. She rarely even buys me snacks..."
"Second grandma told me, Ling'er, you were picked up by your mother. When I was having dinner at Aunt Xiaoning's house, a neighbor came over and said that I was picked up just like Aunt Xiaoning. They said it with a smile, but I was so sad because I was born by my mother..."
"Huang Weiwei said she was also picked up and not her mother's child. I finally understood why my mother was so stingy and why she didn't love me like other mothers, because I wasn't her child. Huang Weiwei said she wanted to find her biological mother, who would buy her new clothes. I wanted to find her too, but I wasn't looking for new clothes..."
…
Many words in the diary were written in pinyin, but it was obvious that the child who wrote them was very serious and sad. There were many water marks on the paper of the diary, as if it had been wetted by tears and then dried.
My eldest cousin cried like a helpless child, grabbed my hand, and said incoherently: "It's not that I don't love her, I treat her as my dearest child, and I am so frugal for her, she has to go to school, and then to college. Why is this child like this? Wuwu... How is she going to find her biological mother? Why isn't she as worry-free as you are?"
I grabbed my eldest cousin's hand and wiped her tears, my voice a little hoarse: "Sister, don't cry, let's go find Ling Er first!"
"Where can I find it?"
"We'll find it eventually. I'll go get some people to help us look for it."
My eldest cousin is the daughter of my second uncle, named Jian Muhua. When she was young, she and my second cousin stayed in my house because of the loss of their mother. They were not taken back until my second uncle married a new second aunt. When she was 18 years old, she went out with others and met a gangster, who is now my eldest cousin's husband. The two got together and eventually got married, but their life was always very difficult. She was infertile and did not get pregnant until she was 28 years old, so she adopted Ling'er.
I was nine years old that year. When I saw Ling'er being brought home, he was a small, chubby ball of baby. I wondered if I looked like that back then.
When I saw Ling Er, I felt like I was seeing myself.
Since Ling'er was born, my brother-in-law and sister have changed their temperaments and become mature and stable. For the sake of the child, my brother-in-law, who had always been idle, followed others to work on the construction site, and my eldest cousin also took care of the child while working. In order to make more money, she often worked overtime until late, so naturally she didn't have much time to take care of Ling'er.
Ling'er is not like me. Before that incident happened when I was a child, I was quite extroverted, but Ling'er is different. She has been introverted and precocious since she was young. She has understood a lot of things since she was young. It can be seen from her diary that Ling'er thinks more than other children.
Ling'er ran away from home. This kid must have planned this for a long time.
At night, the entire shantytown is brightly lit.
After hearing about this, many people came to help us look for it.
My father had sobered up long ago, and my mother also came back. Everyone of them was holding a flashlight, stumbling around looking for the little figure.
"Spiritual ears——"
"Spiritual ears——"
…
Shouts and sighs...
I don't know when my eyes were filled with tears, as if I had lost myself, the half-grown self...
Since I was a child, I have always wanted to escape from here and leave this shantytown, but in the end I was no match for a smart ear that has not yet grown up.
Her departure was much more resolute than mine, but also much more worrying.
Ling'er is a child after all. No matter how precocious she is , she cannot understand all emotions, just like she cannot understand the love her cousin and brother-in-law have for her.
When everyone returned empty-handed and sighed, and the eldest cousin cried heartbreakingly and almost fainted several times, Ling'er, who had been missing for most of the night, was finally sent back.
I didn't expect that the person who sent Ling'er back would be him, and I couldn't imagine that this night would be the beginning of Ling'er's bad fate.