Chapter 154: Love's Sorrow (5)
Yin Yin didn't know when and how she came out of the valley. When she opened her eyes, she found herself in a tent. It took her a long time to remember her situation. Yin Yin suddenly got up from the bed, but she felt dizzy and had to lie back on the bed the next moment.
"You need to rest."
A familiar voice sounded in her ears. Yinyin opened her eyes with great effort and looked in the direction of the voice. Feng Qinghan was sitting on a stool beside the bed, looking at her. After thinking for a while, Yinyin asked, as almost everyone's instinct: "Where is this place?"
"The Zhao army's camp." Feng Qinghan said.
"Zhao Jun?" Yin Yin was unable to react for a moment, but when she reacted she suddenly sat up again. She was still dizzy, but this time she did not fall down again. Instead, she was supported by Feng Qinghan in a trance.
"I told you that you need to rest right now." Feng Qinghan's tone was full of heartache.
"Where is Ajun? I want to see him!!" Yinyin grabbed Feng Qinghan's arm and asked hurriedly.
"Ajun? Is it King Zhao?" Even though Feng Qinghan had guessed early on that the name 'Ajun' must be related to Zhao Ziheng, he just didn't expect it to be him. He didn't understand why Yinyin called him that, he just knew there must be a reason.
"Yes, where is he from? How is he?" Yin Yin ignored Feng Qinghan's slightly frowned brows and her own weakness and hurriedly asked about Zhao Ziheng's condition, asking several questions in one breath.
"Wang Ye and Gui Sha are treating him in his tent now. You can't help if you go there. Instead, you will only hinder them." Feng Qinghan said lightly. There was no dissatisfaction or displeasure in his tone. He answered truthfully. Apart from simply worrying about Yin Yin, he also didn't want Yin Yin to disturb them at this time. It would be harmful rather than helpful to Zhao Ziheng's treatment, because now was a critical moment for Zhao Ziheng.
Yin Yin looked at Feng Qinghan, half believing and half doubting. It was not that she was unaware of Feng Qinghan's feelings for her, so she did not rule out the possibility that he might be lying. However, based on her understanding of Feng Qinghan, she believed that he was not that kind of person. Simply put, Feng Qinghan made it difficult for her to see through him, and it had been like this from the beginning to the end.
"How is Huanling?" Yin Yin suddenly asked. Since she couldn't go to Zhao Ziheng now, she could only ask about what happened after she lost consciousness.
"Dead." Feng Qinghan answered simply.
"Dead?" Yin Yin was slightly startled, but then she found that this was natural. However, she still felt a little sad when she thought of Huan Ling. Apart from hurting innocent people, there was nothing wrong with Huan Ling's actions. She was just trying hard to fight for it.
Suddenly, Yin Yin looked at Feng Qinghan with a look of scrutiny, or perhaps seriousness? After a while, she spoke and asked, "Did you kill her?"
"I have already warned her and given her chances." Feng Qinghan spoke frankly and answered truthfully without any intention of evading the question.
After hearing what Feng Qinghan said, Yin Yin felt speechless. After understanding what Huan Ling did, she had to think from Feng Qinghan's perspective. Not only that, it should be said that everyone has the right to choose. Love or not is not a one-sided compulsion. After all, there is no happiness in a relationship that is forced.
For a long while, neither of them spoke, they just looked at each other.
"...Have you ever loved her?" Yin Yin suddenly asked again. For some reason, she suddenly wanted to know this question. However, she never thought about whether she would ask the same question if it were someone else.
"No, I loved her before I met you. You know, it was only after I met you that I understood what love is and how to love. That's why I know that I have never loved her." Feng Qinghan's answer was still without any hesitation or delay, and there was no longer any scruples in his words, because he knew that at this point there was nothing to scruple about. Even if he was worried about Yin Yin, it could not change his mind.
"I'm sorry!" Yin Yin lowered her head dejectedly, as if she didn't dare to look Feng Qinghan in the face.
"You don't need to apologize. Remember , you didn't do anything wrong, especially when it comes to feelings. You have absolute right to choose, and no one can force you to do this. Even if those who love you die because of you, you don't need to blame yourself, because they did it willingly and they will be proud of it. Your self-blame and guilt will only degrade their feelings for you." Feng Qinghan looked at Yin Yin and spoke gently. Both his words and eyes were filled with tenderness that could not be concealed. Even Feng Qinghan himself had never thought that as long as he looked at Yin Yin, his mood would naturally improve. Driven by the love for Yin Yin, as long as he looked at Yin Yin, he would feel peace and tranquility in his heart that he had never felt before.
Another meaning of Feng Qinghan's words is of course Zhou Yan, who died to save Yin Yin. Although Feng Qinghan did not guess that Yin Yin would be unusually calm after waking up except for the matter of Zhao Ziheng, Feng Qinghan believed that Yin Yin must feel guilty about Zhou Yan's death. Yin Yin is affectionate and righteous, and has a clear distinction between love and hate, but when love exceeds hate to a certain extent, Yin Yin will automatically generate guilt in her heart. This is of course a bad thing for Yin Yin. As long as it is a bad thing, Feng Qinghan feels it is necessary to eliminate it. He cannot allow Yin Yin to suffer even the slightest harm again.
Yin Yin felt that what Feng Qinghan said was very reasonable, but also felt it was weird. However, she couldn't find any problem with it, so she remained silent in the end; however, even if Yin Yin would not feel guilty for Zhou Yan's death, Han Ji's attitude after Zhou Yan's death must be said to be Yin Yin's biggest heartache after Zhou Yan's death. She would not and could not deny that Zhou Yan really died because of her, so she would never be able to face Han Ji in the future. She did not deny that her lack of courage was one of the reasons.
