Shi Shuxia has changed.
Ren Xiaoqi appeared in front of me again.
These two things completely disrupted my originally stable life.
In my impression, Shi Shuxia is gentle and generous. She loves to laugh, and she will stand up when encountering unfair things, not wanting me to suffer any grievances. Most of the time, she stands by me and is a good friend who supports and comforts me.
I don't know when she started to become a little strange.
Or rather, ever since Ji Suting and I confirmed our relationship, she has become unrecognizable to me.
I returned to the dormitory excitedly that night. After Xu Meng'er left, the school arranged for another senior to live in our dormitory. This senior was a top student and would not return to the dormitory until the library closed.
Shi Shuxia and I were the only ones in the room. She was lying on the bed playing with her phone. When she saw me come in, she sat up and asked me, "Are you and Ji Suting together?"
"Well, you get the news quickly!" I didn't notice the strangeness in her tone.
"Don't you feel weird being with him now? After all, he cheated on you before, and are you sure he won't do that to you again?" she asked.
I was stunned for a moment. I thought she would be happy for me, but I never expected that she would be waiting for me with such a question.
"Since I feel like being with him, I've decided to trust him. I don't want to add unnecessary troubles to myself because of the past." I packed up and prepared to go wash up. When I turned around, I heard her mumbling something. I turned around and asked, "What did you say? I didn't hear it clearly."
She said, "Since you and Ji Suting are officially together, should he treat me, his best friend, to a meal to show his appreciation?"
"Of course, I'll tell him after I finish my shower." I thought I was hallucinating, because when she started mumbling, I clearly heard words like "funny".
After taking a shower, I told Ji Suting about this matter. He agreed readily and even arranged the time and place.
I asked Shi Shuxia and she thought it was okay, so we decided to have dinner at a Chongqing hotpot restaurant near the school on the weekend.
It is a very common thing for a boyfriend to treat his best friends to dinner after falling in love, both in college and in society, and I thought this dinner would be no exception.
When we arrived, Ji Suting was already waiting there. When he saw us come in, he smiled and took my bag and hung it up, then greeted Shi Shuxia: "Zhiwei often mentioned you in front of me. Today, when I saw you, you are really as she said, a gentle and generous girl!"
"Actually, I'm a little rebellious at heart. You'll find out after we get to know each other for a long time." Shi Shuxia winked at Ji Suting playfully.
"Really?" Ji Suting's expression froze for a moment, then he pulled me to sit down, "Zhiwei said you like hot pot, so I booked this place without permission. I hope you like it."
"The places you chose are all good, I like them," she replied.
Shi Shuxia's answer without hesitation not only stunned Ji Suting, but also stunned me. These words didn't sound like something best friends would say, but more like a conversation between a boyfriend and girlfriend.
Maybe she was too happy and spoke without restraint, I comforted myself.
This Chongqing hotpot restaurant tastes very good, with a slightly strong flavor, which is just what Shi Shuxia and I like. However, Ji Suting couldn't get used to it and ate cold dishes most of the time.
I joked with him, "You can't eat spicy food, but you chose this kind of place. Don't you think about yourself?"
"Since you kept talking about what you like, I just chose this place!" He said while scratching my nose.
"You can actually eat it this way." Shi Shuxia found a clean cup and poured hot water into it. She picked up a piece of meat with chopsticks and rinsed it in the hot water. She then skillfully put it into Ji Suting's bowl. Seeing that we were all stunned, she said a little embarrassedly, "I saw that you haven't eaten much, so I thought of this idea. It seems a bit too much. I will be more careful next time."
The chopsticks of meat were placed in Ji Suting's bowl. He didn't know whether to eat it or not. I picked the meat into my bowl, dipped it in the sauce and stuffed it into my mouth, saying with emotion: "It's really not that spicy anymore. Shuxia is really smart. I'll give you some."
I followed Shi Shuxia's example and cooked some vegetables for Ji Suting and put them into the bowl. Shi Shuxia's face looked a little unhappy.
Some things are accidental once, coincidence twice, what is it three times?
After this dinner, Shi Shuxia would always show up inadvertently when Ji Suting and I were dating. If we were having a meal, she would sit down and join us. During a meal, she would find several common topics with Ji Suting and she would wish to chat with him all the time.
Sometimes when the three of them were walking, she would suddenly sprain her ankle and fall on Ji Suting.
Sometimes she would suddenly shout loudly when Ji Suting was playing basketball, which was extremely embarrassing but happened to attract other people's attention.
Even though I was slow-witted, I noticed the problem. When the words "Shi Shuxia is interested in Ji Suting" appeared in my mind, I was stunned for a long time and my brain went blank.
I also asked Ji Suting indirectly what he thought about these things.
Maybe boys are naturally insensitive to these things. They think it’s all normal and there’s nothing deliberate about it.
Having said that, I couldn't possibly tell him my guess, to avoid being seen as unreasonable by him, but it would just be a thorn in my heart.
Just when I was worried about Shi Shuxia's matter, Ren Xiaoqi appeared in front of me again, and with her appeared the dejected Li Chongyang. Needless to say, it was she who forcefully pulled Li Chongyang here.
"Long time no see!" Ren Xiaoqi stood in front of me. She was obviously shorter than me, but her aura seemed as if I was shorter than her.
The Ren Xiaoqi in front of me is completely different from before. If she was just persistent before, now she is more like crazy.
Whether it was the look in his eyes or what was hidden deep in his eyes, it made me feel a little scared and uneasy.
What happened with the two obscene men last time is still fresh in my mind. I wonder what more outrageous thing she will do next. I can't help but break out in cold sweats.
"What? You don't recognize me, your old friend after just two or three months? Weiwei, you are a little too forgetful." Ren Xiaoqi laughed wantonly, and that smile seemed to swallow me up into darkness, and I could not escape no matter what.
I rubbed my sweaty palms on my legs, took a deep breath, and mustered up the courage to ask, "What exactly do you want to do?"
"Do you remember what I said? We are good friends, and will be for life , so Cun Zhiwei, there is no way you can escape from me, and I will definitely let you come back to me." Ren Xiaoqi said this in the tone of announcing "this dog is mine."
I took a step back in fear, looking at Li Chongyang almost beggingly. He lowered his head, not daring to breathe, shivering and trembling.
I don't know what method Ren Xiaoqi used to make Li Chongyang become like this, but it is definitely not a presentable method.
Yes, I was afraid. I was afraid that one day I would be forced into this situation, like Li Chongyang, huddled beside her without even the courage to raise my head.
My life has finally seen the sunshine, and I don’t want to become like that.
When Ji Suting found me, Ren Xiaoqi had already left, leaving me standing cold all over on the busy roadside, not knowing where to go.
He lowered his head, raised his hand and touched my forehead, frowning: "Why are you so cold? What happened just now?"
"Nothing... nothing." I subconsciously shrank back and avoided his touch.
"Zhiwei, what's wrong with you? What happened?" Ji Suting walked closer and wanted to hug me in his arms.
I screamed as if I had seen a ghost and pushed him away, my eyes full of fear: "Go away, go away, don't touch me, don't touch me."
"Zhiwei...what's wrong with you?" Ji Suting asked worriedly.
"Go away!" I screamed.
This scream brought me back to reality from my trance. I looked at Ji Suting, who looked distressed, and couldn't help crying. I went forward and hugged him, saying over and over again: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
The tense string in my mind gradually relaxed in his arms, and all my tears flowed onto his white T-shirt.
My body was still shaking. It was a feeling I had never experienced before. It seemed that Ren Xiaoqi's appearance this time would take away everything I had, including my only remaining self-esteem and pride.
Ji Suting, I'm really scared, afraid that she will take you away again.
After we met that day, Ren Xiaoqi appeared in every corner around me like a ghost. I was always cautious and terrified, not knowing when she would appear again.
Even though she blocked countless phone numbers, she always received text messages from new phone numbers, and they always contained the same sentence.
"Cun Zhiwei, we are good friends and will be for life."
If a person's nerves are always tense, he will either explode or collapse.
After a period of torture, my spirit completely collapsed. Every time I went out, I looked around like a thief, afraid that she would appear again.
Ji Suting felt very distressed to see me like this. He tried to talk to me several times, but whenever the name Ren Xiaoqi was mentioned, I would explode and cover my ears like a madman, urging him not to mention it again. If he mentioned it again, I would break up.
He said many times that he would protect my safety and would not let Ren Xiaoqi hurt me in any way.
When he said all this, I would just tell him: "You don't understand. You don't understand how terrible Ren Xiaoqi is."
During this period of time, I always had nightmares at night. Sometimes I dreamed that I became a pet cat, being led around by Ren Xiaoqi every day. When she was in a good mood, she would stroke my fur, and when she was unhappy, she would kick me a few times.
Sometimes I dream about Wang Zijia. He keeps his head down in my dream. No matter how I talk to him, he ignores me. When I turn around, he will suddenly grab my hand and ask me: "Cun Zhiwei, are we best friends?"
I always woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath, and could not fall asleep again.
Long-term insomnia and anxiety made me look very bad. Sister Su asked me to see a doctor several times, but I refused. I knew that my condition could not be solved simply by seeing a doctor.
No matter how busy Ji Suting was, he would pick me up from get off work every day, and we had less and less common topics.
Sometimes he would deliberately find some light-hearted topics to talk to me, but they always ended with my silence. Over time, he didn't talk much either.
That day was no different from any other day. I went to class, went to work, and went home on time. Ji Suting stood under the big tree at the door waiting for me, and then we went back to school together in silence.
"Is this the first time I see your new boyfriend?" Ren Xiaoqi suddenly appeared in front of me. She looked Ji Suting up and down with hostility in her eyes. "Handsome boy, do you want to treat me to a meal? I am Zhiwei's best friend."
"Ren Xiaoqi, what do you want? Can you stop disturbing my life?" I said somewhat desperately. When facing her, I always lose in momentum.
"Don't you know what I want?" Ren Xiaoqi wanted to walk up to me.
Ji Suting stepped forward and stood in front of me. I grabbed his clothes tightly and hid behind him, shivering, not wanting to see her.
"Handsome guy, what are you doing? I just want to chat with my good friend. Are you trying to take advantage of me by standing so close to me?" Ren Xiaoqi thrust her chest forward, forcing Ji Suting to take a step back.
"I don't know what your relationship with Zhiwei was in the past, and I don't want to know. I only know that you have affected our normal lives now. Please leave and don't appear in front of her again, otherwise I will be rude to you." Ji Suting refused to give in.
"Hahaha, you're not polite to me. How are you going to be rude to me? I'm still a little looking forward to it." Ren Xiaoqi didn't take Ji Suting seriously at all. She sneered and took another step forward.
"A quick check will reveal what you did in the past. I think it would be no problem to call the police and have you arrested and locked up for a while. You may not care about these, but what about your father?" Ji Suting took out his cell phone and pretended to call the police.
"Okay...you are cruel, but I tell you, I will not let go." Ren Xiaoqi glared at me and turned away. Only then did I breathe a sigh of relief and come out from behind Ji Suting.
"Thank you." I said sincerely.
"Why are you being so polite to me? Zhiwei, I still think you need to have a serious talk with her. I think she may need to see a psychiatrist, otherwise if this goes on, not only will it drive you crazy, but she will also go crazy." Ji Suting suggested.
"Talk to her once?" I shook my head vigorously. "No, no, I can't have anything to do with her anymore..."
"Zhiwei, listen to me, you can't escape. Any escape will eventually have to be faced. Shuxia is right, she is your heart knot, you can only get rid of it if you truly face it." Ji Suting held my shoulders and kept persuading me.
only……
Why do the two words "Shuxia" sound so harsh and uncomfortable?
Since when have they become so familiar with each other that I am unaware of it?
Jealousy and anger gradually fermented in my heart.
"Zhiwei, believe me, Shuxia and I both really want to help you..." Ji Suting continued.
Once again …
Special summer.
This name lingers in my ears like a buzzing mosquito.
"That's enough! When did you and Shi Shuxia become so close? Was it Shi Shuxia who gave you the idea? Don't think I don't know that you've been very close to her recently. I saw her secretly sending you messages. Ji Suting, are you trying to take this opportunity to get rid of me and be with Shi Shuxia?"
I don't know why I said such hurtful words. I admit that I became a little nervous recently because of Ren Xiaoqi's incident. We always quarreled over trivial matters. To be precise, it was my one-sided quarrel and willfulness.
I am like an extreme, violent madman. I dislike everyone and always quarrel with everyone.
But I always regret it after the quarrel.
"I admit that I sent a message to Shi Shuxia recently. I just wanted to know how you were doing in the dormitory. You've been in really bad shape recently." Ji Suting rubbed his eyebrows and looked a little tired.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I hugged him and broke down crying again, "I didn't mean to quarrel with you, I really couldn't help it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"I haven't blamed you, but Zhiwei, I am also a human being and I have my own temper. I can't keep smiling after you hurt me again and again. I get tired too." He hugged me and whispered in my ear, affectionately but helplessly.
The word "break up" circled on the tip of my tongue and was swallowed back. We were together with great difficulty, and I couldn't say these two words so easily. I was afraid that once I said it, it would be irreversible.
I can’t remember how many times we have quarreled in these days, nor can I count how many times I have hugged him and cried and said sorry.
I know he is tired, and I am tired too.
But once I think of the word "break up", it hurts so much that I can't breathe. I can't imagine what I would become if I leave this boy.
I also can’t imagine what kind of path we will take after hurting each other time and time again and not wanting to let go of each other .
What's more, between us there is not only Ren Xiaoqi who makes me collapse, but also Shi Shuxia.
There are some things I have never told Ji Suting, and even Shi Shuxia doesn't know that I know those things.
The most shameful thing I have ever done in the past nearly twenty years was to read someone's diary.
Shi Shuxia's desire for Ji Suting became more and more obvious, so obvious that I couldn't play dumb any longer. But after being friends for so long, I really couldn't convince myself that my good friend was trying to steal my boyfriend.
One afternoon, after Shi Shuxia went out , I secretly took out the notebook from under her pillow that she had always carefully put away after writing. I opened the first page and the first line read: I fell in love with a boy, his name is Ji Suting.
This page records what happened on the day the teacher brought Ji Suting into the classroom. She fell in love with the gentle and smiling senior at first sight. When he spoke, he would use some simple gestures to embellish his words. When he talked about things he liked, there seemed to be stars twinkling in his eyes, making people unable to take their eyes away.
She also mentioned that she saw the undisguised love in my eyes. She said, I originally thought that Cun Zhiwei and I would become friends, but from the moment I saw the light in her eyes, I knew that we would only become enemies.
She said that it was ridiculous for me to run out like a fool to create a chance encounter. She was looking forward to Ji Suting exposing my scheme and making me return empty-handed.
My mind went blank when I saw this. I heard footsteps getting closer and closer. I was so scared that I hurriedly stuffed the diary back under my pillow and went back to bed pretending to read.
Shi Shuxia pushed the door open, glanced at me, and without saying hello, pulled out the notebook from under the pillow, put it in her backpack, and left.
Maybe she had discovered all this, or maybe she felt it was unsafe to keep it under her pillow. When I tried to take a peek at it again, the diary had been moved to another place and I had no idea where to find it.
It turns out that in her eyes, I am the enemy.
It turns out that she also fell in love with Ji Suting at first sight, and her love for him was no less than mine.
Perhaps in one’s life, there will always be times when one cannot get the love they want. Some people choose to let go and look for another blue sky. Some people choose to fight to the death with the present, killing gods and Buddhas.