Chapter 107 Infiltration (3)
She had clearly wanted to say it a long time ago, but always chose to continue hiding it at the critical moment. This time seemed to be no exception. She had clearly prepared herself mentally, but found that the words still couldn't come out of her mouth. Yinyin clenched her fists, and a layer of mist was already in her eyes. Her heart told her that she could not hesitate any longer, otherwise the guilt would only deepen. She closed her eyes, forced back the overflowing tears, and then lowered her eyes. Fortunately, her series of actions were ignored in Ling Menghan's contemplation, which made Yinyin feel a little relieved.
"Menghan——"
Hearing Yin Yin's call, Ling Menghan slowly raised his eyes and was surprised to find that there was some tears in Yin Yin's eyes as she stared at him?
"What's wrong?"
Ling Menghan was somewhat surprised and worried about Yin Yin's expression.
"I have something... to tell you."
"Um?"
Yinyin seemed to be prepared, which surprised Ling Menghan. Although they had been together for such a long time, Ling Menghan could see that Yinyin always had an inexplicable sadness. She thought it was because of amnesia, so she didn't ask much. She and Yinyin could talk about almost everything, so she never thought that Yinyin would deceive her. Besides, Ling Menghan didn't have a deep understanding of the word "deception"; however, this time, Yinyin's eyes made Ling Menghan tremble inexplicably, and she subconsciously felt uneasy about some kind of determination Yinyin had made?
"Actually, didn't I tell you that I came here to find someone?"
Unconsciously, Yin Yin avoided Ling Menghan's sight. Up to now, Yin Yin had not thought about getting Ling Menghan's forgiveness. She just wanted to tell her everything, no matter how much she understood.
At this moment, Ling Menghan felt the uneasiness in her heart begin to grow. She felt it when she saw the determined look in Yin Yin's eyes, and the reminder of the past made Ling Menghan feel that her guess was beginning to be confirmed.
"That person... is King Zhao."
Listening to the facts that Yin Yin slowly told her, Ling Menghan felt like she was struck by a bolt from the blue. She didn't know how to describe her mood at the moment. She forgot to think, forgot everything. Her mind was blank, and she looked at Yin Yin without blinking. She didn't know whether she was surprised or felt cheated.
The two of them fell into an unprecedented silence. Yin Yin didn't dare to look at Ling Menghan, because she didn't know how Ling Menghan would look at her. Yin Yin had never thought that she would be so afraid of someone's gaze, as if she was a criminal awaiting judgment.
It was a long time later.
Ling Menghan blinked, looked away, adjusted her mind, moved her lips and said slowly: "Why him? Didn't you say you didn't know?"
Thinking back to what Yinyin had said to her before, Ling Menghan never thought that this person would be Zhao Ziheng, but that didn't mean she would deny everything. Indeed, when Yinyin said that the person who was very important to her was Zhao Ziheng, Ling Menghan was really shocked. She never thought that the person who made her think that someone very important to Yinyin would be him. The magnitude of this incident made her a little unacceptable.
"Yes, I really don't know, but I still vaguely feel it. No one around me is willing to tell me. I don't know whether they really don't know or they are deliberately hiding it. Maybe it's because they think the truth will hurt me. But if a person has no memory, then survival is meaningless. If I don't know anything, then my life will only have the memories of the past two years. I have been avoiding it because I believe that the choices made by those around me are correct. Even if I feel something, I still choose to avoid it, avoid my own feelings and everything, but I can't avoid it forever. So I chose to look for it and get back my previous memories. I can't say that I don't remember anything, but I don't know what those things I remember are. They are too strange to me, and deep in my heart there is such a person who occupies a deep memory. I tried to think that maybe if I find him, I can get back my past memories. I thought that person would be it, but my hope was dashed. I don't know why, when my hope for that person was dashed, I actually felt relieved——"
Listening to Yin Yin's narration, Ling Menghan could feel the helplessness and pain in it. Yin Yin's voice began to become choked up at the end of the conversation. Ling Menghan knew that it was real and there was no disguise at all. Ling Menghan didn't know whether other people with amnesia would be like this, but in her opinion, Yin Yin's experience was purely helpless. Although she didn't know what caused this, Ling Menghan could feel that Yin Yin might have a painful memory. She couldn't intervene when Yin Yin was narrating, so she could only listen carefully to Yin Yin's most real words.
"At first, I didn't know why I thought of him. He and I were so far apart. We only met twice, both times in a hurry. He was the king of a country, had his own life, and his own partner. I wondered if I was really related to him? Would I like a married man? But I couldn't deceive myself. I really cared about him. Every time I heard that he cared so much about his deceased queen, I cared too. And after listening to what you said, I doubted more and more what I felt about him. I don't know... My intuition told me that I knew him and he knew me. I remember that when I heard the news that he was injured, I came to find him regardless of everything, from Xu State to Zhao State, thinking that he would see me, but I have n't been able to see him until now."
The more she talked , the heavier, sadder, and more lost Yinyin felt. She had forgotten to pay attention to Ling Menghan's attitude towards this, because her mind was once again occupied by Zhao Ziheng's affairs.
