Chapter 106: Understanding Your Heart (4)
In the past, Zhou Yan had never thought of comparing Yin Yin with anyone, but this time when he came back, it was unexpected that he discovered and noticed her. Even so, Zhou Yan had never thought of making comparisons. However, this incident made him realize how much he owed Zhou Xinxin and Han Ji, and once again confirmed that Yin Yin's position in his heart was really above everything else. Zhou Yan was not surprised by his discovery, nor did he think of changing his mind, but only thought about how to make up for it to Zhou Xinxin and Han Ji...
It seemed like a long time had passed, and neither of them spoke. Han Ji, who was nestled in Zhou Yan's arms, gradually came to her senses. Although she didn't want to leave Zhou Yan's arms, she still gently let her body move away from that warm embrace.
"I just lost my temper, please forgive me, Your Majesty."
Still with a hoarse voice, Han Ji lowered her eyes and spoke to Zhou Yan politely.
"…I told you that you don't need to call each other that in front of me."
For some reason, Zhou Yan was very disgusted to hear these titles from Han Ji's mouth, because he felt that this was a kind of bondage, a bondage on Han Ji, a bondage that she could not get rid of.
"Yes, I remember that."
Zhou Yan heard Han Ji's verbal agreement, but her tone still made him feel unhappy and distant. As overbearing as he was, he couldn't stand even a little bit of unhappiness. Suppressing the anger in his heart, Zhou Yan turned sideways and said: "Tell me when you have decided to leave, I will stay and wait."
After Zhou Yan turned his head and didn't see him, Han Ji raised her head and looked at him silently. Her eyes were full of sadness and other unspeakable emotions. However, the most clear feeling was helplessness. Han Ji was flattered by Zhou Yan's thoughtfulness. Surprise, sadness, helplessness, all kinds of feelings followed. In the end, being touched replaced everything, and grief dominated everything...
Han Ji felt sincerely happy about Zhou Yan's words and deeds from the bottom of her heart, but at the same time she felt unbearable pain for what she saw in Zhou Yan's intentions. She would rather Zhou Yan treat her the same way as before, than have him bring her joy but heart-wrenching pain at the same time. Han Ji had never thought about who she needed pity from, especially Zhou Yan, but this was the case now. She didn't know what made Zhou Yan change like this, but she didn't want Zhou Yan to treat her in this way, making her dusty heart beat again, which would make her painful and tortured.
She loved too deeply and saw too clearly. Han Ji hoped very much that she only had love and no hate, or at least not to see through it so easily. Or maybe she knew too well Zhou Yan's feelings for Yin Yin, so clearly that she couldn't even believe it . She knew that it was because she loved Zhou Yan, otherwise she wouldn't see so clearly and wouldn't understand Zhou Yan's heart so well. Han Ji didn't know who the real third party was, but she knew who Zhou Yan really loved, and she also knew that her love would not be returned. Han Ji only hoped to choose to love silently in her own way, a way of loving that would not be too painful for her.
"I...I'm not going back."
Desperately and forcefully suppressing the truth in her heart, Han Ji spoke with difficulty.
After hearing Han Ji's words, Zhou Yan looked back at Han Ji in disbelief. He saw that Han Ji seemed calm, but her eyes were blurred and depressed. Therefore, Zhou Yan could immediately tell that Han Ji was depressed. He didn't know the reason, but his intuition told him that what Han Ji said was not sincere.
"Why?"
Not wanting to see Han Ji's depressed expression, Zhou Yan asked directly.
"Because I don't want to."
Zhou Yan looked at Han Ji woodenly. She answered without hesitation, but Zhou Yan clearly saw the tears that had stopped in her eyes welling up again.
"You're lying."
Without thinking, Zhou Yan said what his intuition told him. But after hearing this, Han Ji's expression suddenly changed, and she became as strong as before. This instant change made Zhou Yan a little unbelievable. If he hadn't still seen the mist in Han Ji's eyes reappearing, he might have believed that he had seen it wrong before.
"No, I said before that I know what to do, and this is my choice."
Han Ji's tone and demeanor were surprisingly calm, which made Zhou Yan stunned. He couldn't believe it, and couldn't believe it. Han Ji was not a person who would make such a choice, or was he wrong? Or did Han Ji listen to his persuasion? Should he feel relieved or uneasy about Han Ji's choice? A feeling of uneasiness surged in Zhou Yan's heart. He knew very well that this uneasiness came from Han Ji in front of him. Why? He couldn't express it.
"So you don't need to worry about me, and you have things to do, right?"
Zhou Yan didn't know how to understand how Han Ji knew that he had something to do. Subconsciously, he wanted to know why Han Ji was concerned about his affairs? Could it be that the King of Han's misfortune was really unimportant to Han Ji? No, Zhou Yan didn't say that he understood Han Ji very well, but at least he knew more about her than many people. So would such a Han Ji really not worry about the affairs of her country and hometown?
"Is this what you really think?"
Ignoring Han Ji 's concern, Zhou Yan just wanted to know what Han Ji was thinking, because he knew very well that Han Ji did not say what was in her heart, and he also wanted to know what Han Ji was thinking. He did not want to be deceived or concealed, especially since Han Ji's affairs were right in front of him, which he could not allow.
