Chapter 100 Need
At that time, my whole body was really stiff and I couldn't move. My mind was in a mess, and all kinds of thoughts kept popping up. I wanted to just ignore everything. I had such a mature beauty in my arms. At this moment, wouldn't I be the stupidest fool in the world if I didn't eat her? I also thought that I didn't love the woman in my arms at all. Once I ate her, I would have to marry her according to my temper. Although I promised her that I would take care of her for the rest of my life, this was completely different from marrying her as my wife.
I was suffering in agony, but Gu Ruoyan was filled with joy. She closed her eyes contentedly and sighed, "Oh! It's great! Having a strong embrace to lean on really makes me feel at ease and warm!"
She tilted her head and adjusted the sleeping position that made her feel comfortable. I felt the waves under my palms as her body moved. According to my feeling, her fullness was very huge. Even if I stretched my palms, I couldn't fully grasp it. I just had a little evil thought, and the hot blood in my body rushed to my forehead uncontrollably, and then spread from the top of my head to my whole body.
I just felt a hot and restless feeling inside, and something was stirring. I quickly pulled my hand away from Gu Ruoyan, fearing that if I continued to touch her like this, I would lose control of myself and make a big mistake.
Gu Ruoyan opened her eyes and said unhappily, "What's the matter? I want you to hold me."
I had to find an excuse and said, "I... I smoke! Have a cigarette!" Then I quickly grabbed the cigarettes on the bedside table and lit it up.
Gu Ruoyan adjusted her posture again, muttering, "How can you be so addicted to smoking? You want to smoke even when you're lying in bed?" She turned sideways, half lying and half nestling in my arms, her hands naturally wrapped around my waist, and one thigh even restlessly rested on my foot.
The desires in my heart attacked my reason again and again as her body turned. My hand was shaking slightly while smoking, and my heartbeat was at least twice as fast as usual. In order to distract my attention and reduce my rising evil thoughts, I asked her: "Manager! If a man wants to break up with his girlfriend, but doesn't want to hurt her, what should he do to have the best of both worlds?"
Gu Ruoyan laughed and said, "Impossible! Unless the girlfriend doesn't love the man, how can there be a way to have the best of both worlds? If there really is such a way, there would be no such thing as suffering for love in this world."
I took a puff of my cigarette and continued, "I know that too. What I mean is how to minimize the damage and prevent her from feeling heartbroken?"
Gu Ruoyan looked up at me, with a little joy in her eyes. She said, "You don't have to break up with your girlfriend. I said I would only be your lover and I don't ask for any status. I know I'm not worthy of you. You can continue to date her or even get married, and I can just stay in the dark."
I sighed and said, "How do you know I'm talking about myself?"
Gu Ruoyan smiled and said, "I don't know you? You are too kind-hearted and never think about yourself. Even when we broke up, you tried every means to avoid hurting her. Do you think that you have let your girlfriend down by agreeing to me? You are really...honest!"
I remained silent, took several puffs of cigarette, and finally said, "I want to break up with my girlfriend. It's actually none of your business. It's my fault. I like someone else in my heart, and I don't want to deceive her anymore. I know that I will never fall in love with someone else in my life, and I will never be able to make her happy. Instead of dragging it out and hiding it, it's better to leave her as soon as possible so that she can find happiness again. I am destined to owe her in this life!"
Gu Ruoyan was very sensitive. She thought for a moment and said, "Have you met that famous star again?"
I have seen Gu Ruoyan's sharp judgment before. I am used to her accuracy now, so I just nodded. Gu Ruoyan said, "You... haven't forgotten her yet? Tang Qian, I'm not saying anything bad about you, but if you indulge in such unrealistic fantasies, it will ruin your life!"
I smiled bitterly and said, "I know that myself, but I really can't control my feelings. Every time I see her, I love her a little more. There's nothing I can do about it!"
Gu Ruoyan hugged me tighter, she sighed: "Alas! Yes! I really can't control it! I know it's impossible between us, but I still like you. Love is so helpless!"
I had no desire at the moment, and my desolate mood made me reach out and hug the plump body in my arms. Just like a fellow sufferer, I felt full of pity for Gu Ruoyan. Gu Ruoyan in my arms was thinking of something, she let out a sad sigh, and then fell into a deep silence, just hugging me tightly.
After a long time, Gu Ruoyan suddenly came out of the bed, she knelt on the bed, and held my cheek with her hands. She said with a slightly melancholy tone: "Look! We are both pitiful people! We both have someone we love but cannot get love. Who else knows the pain except ourselves? We... should..." As she spoke, her hot lips came up and kissed my mouth. In her crazy kiss, I felt a little bitterness in her heart. I vaguely felt that it was the deepest pain in Gu Ruoyan's heart. The person she said she loved was not me!
I didn't reject her kiss, I even took the initiative to open my mouth and let her tongue in to suck. But I had no evil thoughts in my heart, I just had the same state of mind as Gu Ruoyan, in this world, no one knows you better than the other, no one understands your pain better than the other. As a fellow wanderer, this kiss is just a way to vent and comfort.
As we kissed, I felt a little salty on my lips. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was a tear that had fallen from the corner of her eye. I was moved and reached out to gently wipe it away for her, saying, "In fact, you still love your husband very much, don't you?"
Gu Ruoyan didn't answer. She just said in a very soft voice: "Tang Qian! Let's make love! I really want to! Okay?"
I shook my head slightly and said, "Kissing is the best comfort, but if we go any further, I'm afraid I'll regret it later. You actually treat me as a substitute for your husband, not really like me. You will find your true happiness in the future, and I don't want our indulgence today to affect your future life."
Gu Ruoyan said frustratedly: "I... I don't treat you as a substitute, I really want to make love with you! I need it, I can't bear it anymore, Tang Qian, I beg you... love me once!"
After understanding Gu Ruoyan's true thoughts, I felt much more relaxed. First, she had no other friends, and seeing that I cared about her, she held on to me tightly. She was even willing to be my lover, but she never thought about marrying me, proving that the only person she loved in her heart was her ex-husband. Second, she hadn't had a man love her for too long, and as a normal woman with needs, it was really hard to endure, so after she held on to me, she shamelessly asked me to accompany her in bed. She didn't hesitate to use any means to seduce me.
After thinking this through, all the heavy burdens I had just carried disappeared. I no longer needed to spend my whole life taking care of her, because she never loved me in the first place. I just had to wait for her to find true love, and then I would be free. This was consistent with my original intention of helping her, and I would no longer be trapped in my own trap.
I smiled and said, "I know you need it very much, so you should get out of the shadow of your ex-husband as soon as possible and find someone who truly loves you. I am not suitable for you. You have endured so many days, so why bother waiting a few more days?"
Gu Ruoyan wanted to cry but had no tears. She shouted, "Tang Qian! I can't bear it anymore! I need it now!" As she spoke, she crossed my legs and sat on my lower abdomen, then held my head with both hands and kissed me again.
I turned my head and said in a deep voice: "Gu Ruoyan! Wake up! Don't give up on yourself just because you lost the one you loved. If you indulge yourself, you will regret it!" After saying that, I lifted the quilt and jumped out of bed.
Gu Ruoyan finally cried. She suddenly lay on the bed, crying silently. I did not leave, but sat back on the bed. I patted her shoulder and said, "Manager, it is painful to be abandoned by your lover , but you are still young and you have a long life to live. You can't suffer all your life. Consider my words, make more friends, and don't just rely on me. You are so beautiful, there will definitely be a man who really loves you. Don't you want to live happily with someone who loves you and you like? Are you willing to be just my lover? I know these are all your lies. Time is the best medicine to heal a broken heart, I believe you will figure it out."
Gu Ruoyan refused to listen, she cried, "Go away! Go away! Now even you don't want me anymore, man! There is no one I can rely on, what's the point of me living!"
I sighed, "I won't ignore you. My goal is to make you happy. So you have to believe me. In this world, there are not only me, Tang Qian, but also many good men, but you just haven't discovered them. I know you don't love me, but you just want me to relieve your loneliness and emptiness, so you proposed to be my lover without completely owning me. But I can't accept your behavior. I can't be with someone who doesn't love me just to satisfy my physiological needs. That is not only irresponsible to you, but also to myself . I'm sorry! You are in a bad mood today, and you may not like what I say. Think about it carefully after I leave. I hope you can recover as soon as possible!"
As I said this, I stood up and tried to put on my shoes and leave. Suddenly, Gu Ruoyan stood up and rushed towards me. She hugged me from behind and cried, "Tang Qian! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't do this again. Please don't leave! Don't leave me!"
I put on my shoes and turned around and said, "I won't leave you, but you have to tell me the truth. Did you ask me to come here today because you can't leave me, or because you can't stand the loneliness and want me to be your husband's replacement?"
Gu Ruoyan sobbed for a long time before saying, "All of them! You are the only one I can rely on now. I really can't live without you. And... I really need..."
I said, "So you just want to be my lover, and you're willing to do such a stupid thing as long as it can satisfy your needs?"
Gu Ruoyan lowered her head and whispered, "I'm sorry!"
I wanted to get angry, but seeing her pitiful appearance, I couldn't get angry. I had to turn around and wipe the tears from her face. I sighed, "Manager! If you really can't bear it, go find someone who loves you. You can ask me to introduce you to someone, but don't say stupid things like being someone's lover. People always have to be responsible for themselves, right?"
Gu Ruoyan raised her head and said, "Tang Qian! I know you are honest and kind, and you won't do anything against your conscience. I shouldn't have seduced you! But you said I would regret it. I know in my heart that as long as it's you, I am willing to do anything and will never regret it!"
