Everyone thought I would fall ill, but I didn’t. If even I fell ill, who would fulfill Gu Xi’s last promise to his readers and hold a signing event for his new book?
The night before the book signing event, I unexpectedly received an email from Xu Xiye, in which she spoke for Jian Chen.
She said, Ai Banxia, ​​although I am very reluctant to believe it and really don’t want you to know, I still have to tell you that the person Jian Chen likes has always been only you.
she says--
"I think you should have guessed the whole story when I said this. Yes, that's right. Jian Chen learned about the feud between your two generations after Gu Xi appeared in City C. After that, his first reaction was not to hate you, but to warn me not to tell anyone a word, including you.
"I know that he wanted to protect you in this way. He wanted you to never know the ugly truth, and he wanted you to never think of those unbearable memories. So, he stayed away from you. He thought that as long as he broke up with you and disappeared from your world, you would never have the chance to come into contact with the truth. But who would have thought that you would find out in the end.
"He was in pain and struggling, wanting to return to you, but he found that you already had someone, Gu Xi, who could take better care of you."
she says--
"I think you should know now that Gu Xi is actually Jian Chen's twin brother. That's right, your mother kidnapped Jian Ran's two sons, Jian Chen and Gu Xi, not just Jian Chen. Afterwards, Jian Chen and Gu Xi got separated, and Gu Xi was sent to an orphanage where he met you. After you left the orphanage, he was found by your mother and taken to Italy, while Jian Chen lived on the streets until he was eleven years old, when he returned to the Jian family in City C. Because his parents had never been in contact with each other, Jian Chen, who had lost that memory, only learned not long ago that he had a younger brother named Gu Xi. But do you know why Jian Chen never admitted that Gu Xi was his younger brother?
"Because that was the agreement between him and Gu Xi - only if Gu Xi has no relationship with the Jian family, you can be with him without any burden.
"Look how much he loves you."
At the end of the email, she also said:
"Ai Banxia, ​​I want you to know that I love Jian Chen as much as he loves you, so I tell you the truth that he may never tell you. Because I love him, I don't want to see him depressed, so I want to see you and him happy.
"Ai Banxia, ​​if you still don't understand how deep Jian Chen's love for you is, then go ask him why he pretended to be Gu Xi, and ask him what happened to his left leg.
"Ai Banxia, ​​you have already missed Gu Xi, please don't miss Jian Chen who loves you as well."
I stared at the signature at the end of the email, froze for a second, shed a tear quietly, and then resolutely clicked the permanent delete button.
Obviously, this is a story that sounds very touching, but now why do I feel like I am watching an insignificant story about insignificant people?
I went to the book signing event with two trouser pockets full of fruit candies.
This summer, I am still here.
This is the theme I chose for Gu Xi’s new book signing event.
The 1,000 pre-sale tickets and 2,000 half hearts that were originally sent out were eventually pieced together into 999 complete heart shapes and sent to me.
The staff was surprised and said: "Wow, there is only one missing, everyone's love can really stand the test of time."
Gu Xi, did you see it?
This summer, we are all still here, how about you? Where are you?
"I still have the other half." I placed the half of the pink heart that was so wrinkled in my hand that it was almost shapeless in front of the staff. I knew it would never get the other half of the heart. I knew it would always exist in this incomplete half shape, just like my heart now.
But it doesn’t matter, Gu Xi, I am here this summer, and I know you are here too.
I peeled a piece of fruit candy and put it in my mouth, took off the mask on my face, and tried hard to smile, as if Gu Xi was right next to me. I knew that Gu Xi must be somewhere in heaven watching me and smiling.
"Hello everyone! I'm here to fulfill Xia Li's promise to you. I'm Xia Li's girlfriend, Ai Banxia."
"Wow, the girl Xia Li likes is really special."
"Xia Li loves you very much."
I nodded, nodded vigorously. I know, I know, I understand better than any of you how much he loves me.
"But Xia Li didn't come today?"
"Where is Xia Li now?"
"When will Xia Li come to sign for us?"
…
I need to keep stuffing fruit candies into my mouth to prevent myself from bursting into tears because of all the questions.
I tried to smile and smile but I just couldn't say "I'm sorry, Xia Li is no longer here".
Gu Xi, you see, it turns out that your fruit candy will also lose its validity one day.
Gu Xi, can you help me? I really can't do it alone this time. I know you always respond to my requests, so can you help me one last time?
The crowd was in commotion, and I suddenly heard someone shouting Xia Li's name. I turned my head mechanically and saw a large bunch of blue cornflowers and Gu Xi's face smiling like an angel. I looked at him greedily, unwilling to look away for a moment.
Although I knew that was just the face of Jian Chen pretending to be Gu Xi, at that moment, I still couldn't control my tears.
Gu Xi, is that you?
Did you in heaven hear my prayers and come to help me?
I couldn't stop crying, and Jian Chen took the trouble to wipe my tears away. Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Don't cry, he's watching you from heaven."
I curled my lips tightly, but my tears flowed even more violently. Gu Xi, am I really useless?
Through tearful eyes, I saw Jian Chen place a cornflower blue half heart in my hand.
He said, "I know there's no ending in your typed copy. Don't you want to know how the book ends?"
I thought about it and shook my head. I would rather have no ending. Without an ending maybe I can go on forever.
He suddenly smiled, and that smile was sad and lonely.
Then, he said, "Ai Banxia, ​​you must remember that the person who treats you best in this world is Gu Xi, only Gu Xi. You know, when he left, he only asked me one thing, not to let you see this book. I know he was afraid that you would be sad after reading it, but now, I think it is necessary for you to see the ending."
When the staff handed me the last 1,000 books, my hands were shaking so much that I couldn't even turn the pages even with all my strength. Jian Chen, who was pretending to be Gu Xi signing autographs for readers, saw this and suddenly turned over to help me turn the book to the last page, folded it carefully, and placed it in front of me.
Then I saw the last words Gu Xi left for me:
"Banxia, ​​do you still remember that when we first met at Moon Lake in Baisha, you said to me, 'I'm sorry, I recognized the wrong person.' At that time, I should have been sad in my heart. Yes, you recognized the wrong person. You mistook someone else for me, and because of that, you fell in love with someone else.
"But, I don't know why, when I look at you, when I look at you with such a happy face, my heart is magically filled with joy. I can even smile at you easily and pretend that I have never met you and say to you: 'My name is Gu Xi, and I am a new transfer student.'
"At that time, you said to me: 'My name is Ai Banxia, ​​nice to meet you.' It was at that moment that I finally understood what I wanted after ten years of searching and waiting. Yes, I just wanted to confirm whether you were happy. It had nothing to do with whether you recognized me or were with me.
"I just want you to be happy, what else does it matter?
"I am by your side, and I have witnessed your happiness with my own eyes. Banxia, ​​this is already a very happy ending for me.
"Banxia, ​​please forgive my selfishness, I probably won't let you see this book.
"If, one day, you still see it, please believe that no matter what, the moment you are happy, I am also happy."
When I closed the book, I looked up at the sky in the distance outside the window and smiled slightly.
Gu Xi, at this moment, when I am reading these words you wrote to me, I am happy, so, you should be happy too!
At the end of the event, I thanked Jian Chen, who was sitting in a wheelchair, looking weak and pale.
I suddenly remembered Xu Xiye's words: "Is your leg really not going to get better?"
He turned his head away from me, his perfect profile showing an indescribable stubbornness: "Yes, it can't be cured."
I looked closely at Jian Chen, who was trying his best to remain calm, and felt a few traces of pain in my heart.
When did the proud Jian Chen learn such a humble lie?
When did the high and mighty Jian Chen become so cautious?
"No need to pretend anymore. Your legs are healed, aren't they? What's in the trouser leg is not a prosthesis, but your own leg, right? Xu Xiye has told me everything. I know why you did this, but I don't want you to turn yourself into another person for me. No matter what, thank you, thank you for accompanying me through the most difficult part of the journey."
"Don't you blame me?" He suddenly turned around and looked at me, "Don't you blame me for pretending to be Gu Xi and lying to you?"
I shook my head: "At least you pretending to be Gu Xi once made me think that everything had come true. Although that moment was short, I still truly felt the happiness of being with Gu Xi, so thank you."
He suddenly stood up, grabbed my hand, his eyes full of pain: "Banxia, ​​don't say thank you to me. If you want me to pretend to be Gu Xi for the rest of my life, I am willing to do so. During this time, I tried hard to read Gu Xi's Weibo and his e-book manuscripts, imitating everything about him, just wanting to stay with you. I thought that as long as I kept pretending to be Gu Xi, I could stay with you. Banxia, ​​I know you will never forgive me for Gu Xi's departure. But even if you can't forgive me, please let me take care of you on his behalf--"
I know how difficult it is to make such a proud Jian Chen say such words. I even know that he is not as selfish as he says. At that time, he chose to pretend to be Gu Xi, mostly because the doctor said that my heart could not suffer a heavy blow in the short term.
But love is so strange. When there is one person living in your heart, there is no room left for a second person.
"No , I forgive everyone, but I can't forgive myself." I pulled my hand away and interrupted him, "I know everything you have done for me, and I am very grateful. But, I'm sorry, my heart can only hold one Gu Xi now."
He was stunned for a moment, raised his head, looked at me with the kind of gentle eyes that only Gu Xi could have, and smiled at me.
He said: "Banxia, ​​I am willing to be Gu Xi's shadow, even if it is for a lifetime."
I shook my head. My Gu Xi doesn't need a shadow, he is in my heart, always and forever.
This summer, next summer, always.