Chapter 10: No Deer in the Deep Forest
Some people say that you can see deer when the forest is deep, whales when the sea is blue, and you will be seen when you wake up from a dream. It was just a big dream. The deep forest was gone, the sea was not blue, could I still see you?
Lu Shuang 01
When filling in the college entrance examination application, I chose S University, which is also a famous university and the same school as Yu Nansheng. I did not leave S City and escape to another city as I had originally imagined.
Because of my work at a newspaper, I enrolled a month later than other freshmen. After I explained the reason to the school, the teacher made an exception and allowed me to go through the admission procedures.
I skipped the freshman military training and started college courses. I applied for the journalism department and lived in a four-person dormitory. Although there was no sisterly relationship between roommates, everyone was well-behaved and polite, and we basically got along well without any trouble.
Xia Xingfeng was studying at C University, which was near S University. When I first enrolled, he volunteered to come over and help me carry my luggage.
The girls in the dormitory saw him and winked at me: "Is he your boyfriend?"
I shook my head and packed my things: "No."
"Really?" The girl's eyes lit up. "If you're not interested, introduce him to me. It's rare to find a guy this handsome and polite."
I smiled and said, "Go talk to him yourself. I can't help you."
I'm not interested in being a matchmaker.
But it was also through this incident that I began to understand that Xia Xingfeng was really popular with the opposite sex. He was good-looking, good in both character and academics, and was not only famous in C University, but also many people in S University knew his name. The clubs he joined were always crowded, and when he played basketball, there were always girls standing on the sidelines watching.
In the eyes of others, he is the shining one.
I was still alone, and after getting used to living alone, I began to get tired of the crowds. The other three roommates often went out together, and sometimes they would invite me to join them, but I always refused out of habit, and finally they stopped insisting.
I usually go to the cafeteria when there are fewer people. There are only two dishes left. I order a bowl of soup and start drinking it while sitting in the corner.
As I was drinking, a plate was suddenly placed in front of me. Xia Xingfeng sat opposite me naturally: "How can you just drink soup? You are so skinny, let's eat."
I smiled and shook my head: "I have no appetite, just drink the soup."
He picked up the spoon, scooped some rice and put it into my mouth: "If you don't eat, I will feed you."
I could already feel the eyes of the people around us looking at us, some were ambiguous, some were jealous.
I sighed and took the spoon from his hand. It's better to eat by myself than to be fed by others.
The dishes he ordered were just the meat dishes that I couldn't bear to eat. The university cafeteria was much more expensive than the middle school cafeteria. If I ate meat for every meal, I would have to work several more jobs to afford it.
"If no one wants to eat with you in the future, you can call me." Xia Xingfeng's voice was calm and he spoke very naturally, but there was still a hint of anticipation and nervousness in his eyes.
In fact, I should have been more decisive in rejecting his kindness to me, and I am not the kind of person who likes others to care about me and be close to me. However, I don’t seem to reject him anymore, and I don’t even reject the fact that he likes me.
I think I just need some time to like him. Maybe not hating him is a good start?
Because I went to the same school as Yu Nansheng and studied the same major, I kept in touch with her more often. I was grateful to her for giving me the emergency money, and I made it clear that I would return the money to her in the future. Now we can sometimes eat, go shopping, and chat like ordinary friends.
But after all, we are not in the same grade, have different course schedules, and our dormitories are not in the same building, so we are not together often.
The freshman year courses are very full and time flies.
During this time, Su Xin had another attack and stole a pair of brand-name sandals. Fortunately, the shop owner was generous and returned the shoes without asking for compensation. But I knew that Su Xin's disease needed treatment and her willpower alone could not cure it.
However, mental illness requires long-term treatment, and it is hard to say how effective it will be. What's more, I am still in college, and although I have worked several jobs, it is still a drop in the bucket.
Just when I was hesitating whether to take the time to find a tutoring job, Xia Xingfeng called me.
"I heard from your brother that Auntie is ill again." In order to "infiltrate the enemy", he asked for Lu Lan and Su Xin's cell phone numbers. Lu Lan treated him as his elder brother and was very close to him. He would tell him any news.
I didn't hide it anymore: "Yeah, but it's not serious this time. It will be fine if you calm down."
Xia Xingfeng pondered for a moment on the other end of the phone and said, "How about this, my mother knows the director of the psychiatric department of the First Municipal Hospital. Pick a time to take Aunt to see him."
I was silent for a while and didn't respond.
Xia Xingfeng continued, "Don't worry about the money. I still have some and I can lend it to you."
I still didn't say anything.
"You don't have to rush to pay it back... I just want to help you..."
After a long while, I answered him in a very soft voice: "Xia Xingfeng, don't be so nice to me. I have no way to repay you."
Xia Xingfeng smiled on the other end of the phone: "I don't ask for anything in return, I do it willingly."
He said these simple 9 words seriously, and my heart trembled. I couldn't tell whether I was grateful or sad, so I hung up the phone in a hurry.
