My ideal lover is a peerless hero. One day he will wear a golden armor and ride on a colorful cloud to marry me. I guessed the beginning, but not the ending...

Later, I went to see "The Monkey King: Hero is Back" alone. It was actually a heartwarming movie about a master and his apprentice that had nothing to do with love, but I cried like a fool when the movie ended.
The five or six-year-old girl sitting next to her asked her mother with her big eyes twinkling, "The Great Sage has become so powerful, and Jiang Liu'er is not dead, why is sister crying?"
Her mother smiled and replied, "Because, my sister has also been waiting for her hero."
It was as if someone had accidentally peeled off the Band-Aid covering the wound, and the pain in my left chest was numb.
On that hot afternoon, he looked out the window and said:
"A long time ago, I watched a movie in which the heroine said, 'My ideal lover is a peerless hero. One day he will wear golden armor and ride on a colorful cloud to marry me.' At that time, I thought, one day, I will probably have someone I like. By then, I will also work hard to be the 'peerless hero' in her heart..."
Have you become a hero?
Will you come one day wearing golden armor and riding on colorful clouds?
I curled up in a chair in the cinema, curling up the corners of my mouth and smiling silently. I kept laughing, and as I laughed, tears started to flow. Such turbulent, uncontrollable tears, like the inexplicable sadness that had been lingering in my heart for days, kept flowing, kept flowing.
Two days later, Chu Yubai and Bai Mingxue returned to City C from their hometown, and I went to the train station to meet them. The moment the crowd poured out of the exit, I saw Bai Mingxue, who was wearing a red mini dress and was as dazzling as a flame. Her bright eyes and bright gaze made her the focus of attention.
Then, I saw Chu Yubai beside her. He was wearing a white shirt, a white casual shirt, and white linen trousers. He looked gentle, elegant, and handsome. I never knew that Chu Yubai looked so good in white. I originally thought that he looked the most handsome in navy blue, but it turned out not to be the case.
I watched them from afar through the crowd, red and white, so eye-catching and well matched, Bai Mingxue turned her head and said something to Chu Yubai, and Chu Yubai smiled, that smile was as bright as the hottest sunshine in summer, which I have never seen on his face in all these years. It was at that moment that I suddenly realized that only the passionate and dazzling Bai Mingxue could bring Chu Yubai such burden-free happiness.
I stood there, watching Chu Yubai approaching from afar without blinking, and suddenly realized that maybe, from a long, long time ago, Chu Yubai had been silently accommodating me. He wore a navy blue for me, which he might not like. He might have been a warm and cheerful person, but because of my inferiority complex, he restrained his edge and accompanied me silently.
I suddenly felt sad. The elegant Chu Yubai should have spread his wings and soared high, but he almost fell from the clouds because of me. I thought that I was supporting and encouraging him by trying my best to follow his footsteps, but it turned out that I had become a burden on his life.
It turns out that everything I have insisted on was wrong?
I was in a daze and couldn't come back to my senses for a long time, until Bai Mingxue called me loudly: "Moli, here, here!"
She waved at me vigorously, and I walked over in a daze, almost bumping into the pedestrians next to me.
"What's wrong? Jasmine?" Chu Yubai looked at me with worry in his eyes, and the bright smile on his face was no longer visible.
I secretly clenched my fists and said to myself, you see, Su Moli, this is how it is, you always make him worry but never make him truly happy.
"No, nothing," I tried to smile happily, "It seems that I just realized that you are back, so I am very happy, very happy..."
I curled the corners of my mouth and smiled so hard, wanting to make him happy, but sadness slowly emerged in his eyes as he looked at me. I knew that perhaps it was time to let go.
So, two days later, when Chu Yubai and Bai Mingxue left for Yale, I finally made up my mind and made a decision.
When I was about to board the plane at the airport, I saw Chu Yubai dragging his luggage towards the gate, and I ran over desperately and hugged him tightly, as if I was using all my strength to tighten my arms to hug him.
"Jasmine?" Chu Yubai was stunned and reached out to hug me back.
I whispered in his ear, "Chu Yubai, I probably won't go to the United States. That's right, I'm going to stay here. I used to think that only if I work hard to be as good as you can I be qualified to say I love you. Now, I know that true excellence is to work hard to be true to yourself and become better than before. So, Chu Yubai, I want to stay in this country I like and think about what my dream is as Su Moli. You used to be like a towering tree that was out of reach, and I was the vine that grew around you. Now, Chu Yubai, I'm going to let you go. I'm going to learn to turn myself into a big tree that can shelter the people around me from wind and rain. So, please work hard to fly freely, and don't be tied down by me anymore..."
"Moli..." He looked at me, with a rare look of panic and anxiety in his eyes, "Su Moli, have you really thought it through?"
I nodded, lightly but firmly.
He lowered his head and remained silent for a second. When he raised his head again, a hint of lingering reluctance appeared in his bright eyes, but he still smiled with his eyes curved, as gentle as water.
"Jasmine..." He said, "You know what I am doing, no matter what decision you make."
I nodded, trying hard to hold back my tears, and nodded continuously.
I know, I know. How could I not know? Because I know you will do this, not asking anything, not questioning anything, just supporting and indulging me blindly, so I want to let go of the hands that bind you.
Dear Chu Yubai, please believe that a long, long time ago, for a very, very long time, I loved you so wholeheartedly.
Because I love you, I want to let go of the hands that once wanted to hold you tightly and let you set sail.
The heat of July is scorching, and August is late. City C is still the same City C, but it seems that I am the only one left in such a big city. The familiar streets, the familiar campus, the familiar scent of jasmine, but it seems that there are no familiar people anymore.
September is slightly cool, and October is filled with the fragrance of osmanthus. I study and live aimlessly. Those dreams that I once vowed to make seem like just a cold joke when I was bored, and have been forgotten by me in an unknown place.
I began to suspect that the reason I refused to study in the United States was just an excuse I found to achieve a certain purpose, but I had no idea what that purpose was.
November passed quickly with the rising cold wind, and the chilly December came. On a frosty night, I received an email. When I saw the sender's name "Xu Jue", my heart ached inexplicably.
I hesitated for a second and opened the email. It was a not very clear photo with a dusty construction site as the background. Xu Jue was wearing work clothes and a safety helmet. He spread out a blueprint with both hands and stood with his back to the camera. Green stubble could be vaguely seen on his slightly exposed thin face. He looked so haggard and unkempt, completely different from the young man who used to be well-dressed and energetic.
My eyes became slightly hot, and then I saw the words under the photo: "Su Moli, you said you are the weeds on the ground, and I am the stars in the sky, and you and I are not worthy. If I am willing to jump for you, and fall from the top of the sky to the dust and mud, what else do you have to say?"
Seeing that resolute and desperate tone, I knew that he not only said it, but also did it.
In the past few months, I often "coincidentally" ran into the girl named An Ran, and she would occasionally mention Xu Jue to me without asking.
She said, "Su Moli, Xu Jue refused to join the family business. He is the only heir to the Xu Group. His father was furious and wanted to cut off ties with him. Do you know the Xu Group? You know that the Xu Group is the industry leader in City C and even the whole country, right? He gave up the entire kingdom that originally belonged to him. That man is really crazy."
She said, "Su Moli, I used to admire Xu Jue a little bit, but now I think he is so hypocritical that I don't want to look at him anymore. Even if he doesn't join the family business, can't he just sit quietly and comfortably in the office to draw blueprints? Why does he have to go to the construction site to be a dirty on-site architect and make himself look so lost? Who is he showing it to?"
Then, she was silent for two seconds, then lowered her head and smiled slightly, then changed the subject and said, "But, this kind of Xu Jue is a living, flesh-and-blood, emotional person, no longer that high-and-mighty 'god'. Speaking of which, in fact, the Xu Jue who was defeated and fled in a panic is more likable, right?"
She said, "Su Moli, you know, Xu Jue probably doesn't want you to know this, so just pretend I never told you anything."
How could I not know? The Xu Jue I knew was the kind of person who would pretend nothing happened even if he was covered in wounds, and who would not let me worry!
So I pretended I knew nothing and lived in silence until I received his email and saw this photo of him...
I gently clicked on the photo and enlarged it to the maximum, and the past events that I thought I would never remember came flooding back like a tide.
He said: "No one can go back to the past and change history, so I can never save the you of the past, and I can never meet the you of the past first. I can never win over the Chu Yubai in your heart."
He said: "I know, there is only one Chu Yubai in your heart."
He said: "Su Moli, you are so cruel..."
I stared at the photos on the computer for a long time, without blinking. It seemed as if something was stinging my eyes, and tears gradually blurred my vision.
On that frosty morning with fresh air and clear water vapor, I sat in front of the computer and cried like a child who had lost his most beloved toy.
I couldn't stop my tears, not because he said that he was willing to jump for me from the top of the sky and fall into the dust and mud, but because, in the largest photo I put, on the unfolded drawing in his hand, the building he designed had its name marked in very small pencil letters - Yu Bai.
At that moment, the distant conversation between him and I, which I thought had long disappeared into the depths of my memory, suddenly echoed in my ears.
It was the first day of winter vacation. He suddenly came to the pavilion on the back hill of the school and asked me, who was crying silently, what my dream was.
I said, "Become a photographer for National Geographic magazine."
"Then what?"
"Then, I will travel around the world to take a photo. It must be the best and most perfect photo I have ever taken in my life, because I will name it 'Meeting White'."
He was silent for a long time and then said, "What if you are an architect?"
"If I were an architect, I would definitely build a building that is unique in the world, and I would definitely name it 'Yubai'."
At that time, I didn’t know why he asked me, who majored in photography, what my dream was if I were an architect.
Now, I understand.
He was going to fulfill my dream for me! Even though at that time, I only had Chu Yubai in my eyes, even though that dream represented my dream of loving Chu Yubai, even though I might never know everything he did for me, he still desperately fulfilled that dream for me, just because, that was my "dream".
Memory is like a unique and wonderful sieve that can easily sift out images that have long been hidden in the heart.
On that snowy winter day, he said, "Su Moli, if there is anything else I have done for you, or want to do for you, I will tell you when I remember it."
Xu Jue, I know now, I finally know what you have done for me and what you are doing for me. Please forgive me, I just know how you have tried your best to love me silently, but it is not too late now, right?
My tears fell uncontrollably, and the corners of my mouth were clearly slightly upturned.
The person I love, is it Xu Jue or Chu Yubai? This question appeared in my mind again, but this time, I had a clear answer in my heart.
I found An Ran as quickly as possible and found out the location of Xu Jue's construction site. Then, I took a taxi and rushed there without stopping. I just wanted to be in front of him as quickly as possible. No matter whether he looked at me with a smile or pretended to ignore me, I would tell him loudly: "Even if you are the brightest and most unreachable star in the sky, even if I am the humblest grass on the ground, I will work hard to become a towering tree, because I want to be with you."
I was so impatient that I got out of the taxi and rushed into the construction site. A 120 ambulance whizzed past me with its sirens blaring, and quickly stopped in front of the building under construction. A crowd of people quickly surrounded it...
I didn't care about those things. I just kept thinking that I wanted to see Xu Jue as soon as possible. I wanted to tell him not to be distracted by me when he was working and to be sure to pay attention to safety. When I thought about this, I couldn't help but laugh out loud.
I squeezed through the crowd, and at that moment, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the person lying on the stretcher carried by the medical staff. He seemed to have used up all his strength to slightly raise his head, blinked gently in my direction, and smiled silently...
I was stunned. The ambulance had already driven away, leaving only the dust on the ground. I knew that I must have seen it wrong. Who can smile when they are injured? Or, if the injured stranger could still smile, he should be fine, right?
Thinking of this, I squeezed through the crowd and tried to walk into the building under construction, but strangely, no one came to stop me. Everyone had their heads down, looking like they were in deep pain.
I asked everyone I met: "Excuse me, is there an architect named Xu here? Do you know where he is?"
However, I asked many times and no one answered me. They just looked up blankly and looked at me with sympathy and pity without saying a word.
A bad premonition slowly rose from the bottom of my heart. My hands began to tremble involuntarily. I clenched my fists tightly and shouted at the top of my lungs, "Where is he?"
Someone in the crowd suddenly burst into tears, wiped his tears vigorously, and pointed towards the dusty distance.
I ran towards the distance with joy. It turned out that Xu Jue was there. But why was that person crying?
I ran into the flying dust, searching frantically, but there was nothing there.
I looked back at the man who was still sobbing in confusion and questioned him with my eyes.
The man opened his mouth and sobbed for a long time, and finally said intermittently: "Xu Gong...he fell from the building, and the ambulance just now...it saved him..."
It felt like the earth was shaking and I couldn't stand steadily. The man on the stretcher raised his head and blinked gently in my direction. The image of him smiling silently suddenly appeared in my mind.
No, no...
"Mr. Xu?" I rushed to the man who was talking nonsense and interrupted him quickly, "Who is Mr. Xu? The person I'm looking for is Xu Jue, not some Mr. Xu..."
"Moli, that's Xu Jue... I'm his assistant Yu Ze, how could I lie to you... Engineer Xu, he fell from the roof due to excessive fatigue..."
I fell to the ground as if a city had collapsed. No, no, God would not be so cruel...
I said to myself, Su Moli, you must not panic, you must not cry, Xu Jue is still waiting for you.
I stood up calmly and said to Yu Ze with a forced smile: "Why cry? He was just injured. He was clearly smiling at me just now. He will be fine soon..."
That's right, in the near future, Su Moli will be happily together with Xu Jue, who looks cold on the outside but is actually like a flame in his heart. It will definitely be like this.
What I have to do now is to rush to the hospital as soon as possible and tell him right away that I love him. It started before I even realized it.
Thirty minutes later, I ran into the hospital emergency room. I thought that would be the beginning of my happy life, but I didn't expect that it was just the beginning of a nightmare.
I heard the doctor's cold and emotionless voice: "The patient, Xu Jue, failed to be rescued, died at 18:45..."
Time of death: 18:45...
I seemed to be in chaos. I couldn't hear or see anything, and in my mind kept repeating the words that had turned my world upside down in an instant.
I seemed to not understand what he said. I kept shaking my head blankly. That aloof and arrogant Xu Jue; that Xu Jue who loved me silently when I didn't know and in a place I didn't know; that Xu Jue who worked hard to fulfill my dream just because I said casually, "If I were an architect, I would build a 'Yubai' building in the future", he just blinked at me and smiled silently, how could he die? !
I didn't even have the chance to tell him that I loved him just as much. How could he die? How could he die?
We thought we had agreed that one day, you would wear golden armor and ride on a colorful cloud to marry me...
Xu Jue, look, open your eyes and take a look. I am here, I have always been here, waiting for my peerless hero. Now, can you show up?
You must be kidding me, right? Because you are angry at me for being so decisive, so cruel, and pretending that you are not in my heart at all. But, Xu Jue, I finally understand now. I finally understand that I was so entangled because I knew clearly in my heart that I had fallen in love with you so much, but I refused to admit it.
So, Xu Jue, can you please stop joking with me? This joke is not funny at all.
Suddenly, someone burst into tears. That panicky and shrill voice pierced into my heart like a sharp sword, pulling me back into this cruel and cold real world.
It was as if the earth was shaking. In my heart, sadness swept and engulfed me like a devastating storm, but my face was expressionless. Deep in my heart, there was a voice shouting in panic and despair. That hysterical and desperate voice kept repeating only two words: Xu Jue, Xu Jue...
I opened my mouth, but no sound came out.
The person is gone, and the living people are devastated.
I staggered out of the emergency room and walked to the steps of the hospital. I raised my head woodenly to look at the sky. Night had fallen. The moonlight was as cold as frost, and the starry sky was like the white snow in winter, stinging my eyes.
In the dim light of tears, I seemed to see that person who had been aloof all his life, smiling and sidelong glanced at me and said, "Su Moli, you said you are the weeds on the ground and I am the stars in the sky. You and I are not worthy. If I am willing to jump for you, and fall from the top of the sky to the dust and mud, what else do you have to say?"
The tears that had been suppressed for a long time suddenly burst down without warning and were out of control, all because I knew that the person I loved would never come back, and he would never be able to hear me say "I love you" to him again.
I made the most important and correct decision in my life. However, the brightest star in my sky fell on this first and last winter night.
At the very end, he used all his strength to raise his head from the stretcher, and looked at me through the crowd, but I couldn't recognize him; at the very end, he still blinked at me gently and smiled silently; at the very end, what did he want to say to me?
I no longer know, but what I do know is that he once loved me as much as his life...
The moonlight was like water, but no one came up to me silently and said, "Hey, Su-Mo-Li..."
I hugged myself and cried bitterly. Someone came up to me and patted my back gently. It was An Ran.
Like a child who had done something wrong and was speaking incoherently, I choked up and said, "I would rather not know him... If, if I could live my life again, I would definitely not know Xu Jue, because... because then, he would be able to... hang high in the sky forever and be the brightest star..."
But what's the use? I know there is no "if" in the world, and that person will never come back.
My ideal lover is a peerless hero. One day he will come to marry me wearing golden armor and riding on a colorful cloud...
Dear Xu Jue, my peerless hero, has he now become the brightest star in the sky? Please be happy there!
I will also try hard to be happier in the days without you.
Because I know that is your wish.