If youth is the most suitable time for being willful, I will definitely cherish that time, not bully Lin Xiaolun, not boss him around, follow him obediently, step on his long shadow in the setting sun, then shout out his name loudly, chase him, walk shoulder to shoulder with him, and watch the sunset glow flow between us.

In September 2000 , I was promoted to the first grade of primary school from the "Sunshine Kindergarten" downstairs in the community. After my parents registered me, they found Lin Xiaolun's mother, Aunt Tang, who lived across the corridor, and asked her to look after me for a few days.
That night, the two of them flew to Bali.
Before I left, my mother put on my newly bought pink tutu skirt and said to me in a wronged voice: "Xiao Lele, I won a free ticket for a two-person trip to Bali in the company lottery. It would be a waste if I don't go. Didn't I tell you since you were a child that you can't waste and you must be frugal? So I decided to go to Bali with your father. You can stay at Aunt Tang's house for a few days. Brother Xiaolun will accompany you, so don't be afraid!"
I pouted, pulled my skirt, and asked in a baby voice, "Dad, where is Bali?"
Dad, who had tied his tie, was about to answer my question when Mom immediately scratched my nose and said, "In Beijing."
Aunt Tang behind me covered her mouth and chuckled. Lin Xiaolun, who was only two months older than me, sighed like , spread his hands and said, "You throw this trouble here again."
I glared at Lin Xiaolun and said like a little adult, "You two, go away. I don't want to play with Lin Xiaolun. I'm already an elementary school student and can sleep alone."
Mom nodded with great satisfaction, then dragged the big red suitcase, took Dad's arm and left decisively without looking back.
I feel like every cell in my body is inherited from my mother, and I am not at all like my honest father.
Aunt Tang put on her apron, leaned over, and said to me gently: "Le Le, play with Xiao Lun for a while. Auntie will go to make dinner. When it's ready, I'll call you two to come and eat!"
I looked at Aunt Tang with a smile and said loudly, "Okay."
After Aunt Tang turned around and went into the house, I quickly put away my smile, glared at Lin Xiaolun, who was not as tall as me, and shouted, "What are you looking at!"
Lin Xiaolun narrowed his eyes and looked at me, saying with disdain, "A tomboy like you actually wears such cute clothes!"
I looked down at my skirt, held the door handle with my little hand, and said deliberately: "Brother Xiaolun, Lele is going to change clothes. If you are still looking at me here, I will tell Aunt Tang that you are a little hooligan."
Lin Xiaolun closed his eyes, raised his head slightly, and snorted disdainfully.
With a "bang", I slammed the door shut, locking Lin Xiaolun out, and then groped in the dark to find my overalls from the closet.
Oh, I forgot to mention that Lin Xiaolun’s house always has my spare clothes so that I always have clothes to change when they get dirty.
During the meal, Aunt Tang took good care of me, letting me sit on Lin Xiaolun's special chair and putting all the delicious food into my bowl. Lin Xiaolun had no choice but to sit on a low stool, with half of his head exposed at the table, looking at me with a very sad look.
I finished my meal with a smug look on my face and burped in front of Lin Xiaolun.
While Aunt Tang was washing the dishes, Uncle Lin made Lin Xiaolun's bed.
Uncle Lin said, "Xiao Lun, Aunt Ye and the others are out playing. It's not convenient for Lele to live alone at home, so he can squeeze in with you."
"Dad, I'm a boy and she's a girl!" Lin Xiaolun immediately protested.
"But we only have two beds in our house. You and Lele are both children, and Lele is so nice to you. What's wrong with sleeping together?" Uncle Lin comforted Lin Xiaolun.
I crossed my arms and spoke slowly like a little adult: "Uncle Lin, Lele is already grown up, it's okay for him to sleep alone. I don't want to sleep with a stingy guy. "
Lin Xiaolun rolled his eyes and asked Uncle Lin: "Dad, are you sure she treats me well?"
Uncle Lin looked at me, then at Lin Xiaolun, and smiled .
There is a saying that goes, once you make a decision, you have to stick to it even if you cry.
Aunt Tang made the bed on the sofa, watched me get into bed, then turned off the lights in the living room and went to bed.
In the darkness, I covered my face with the quilt, leaving only my eyes exposed, and the horror stories my mother usually told me emerged in my mind.
Yes, my mother has a hobby. Other mothers tell their children fairy tales or science fiction stories before they go to sleep, but she is different. She likes to tell me horror stories very much. Because when I hear horror stories, I will fall asleep within 10 seconds, which saves her a lot of trouble.
The clock on the wall was ticking and it was pitch black all around. I held my breath and looked at the swaying shadows of trees outside the window with my eyes wide open.
I could hear my heart beating "thump, thump". The weather outside was very bad, and the strong wind made the glass buzz. Suddenly, there was a "creak" sound, and the swaying branches were broken by the wind and fell down with a loud noise.
"Ah - Lin Xiaolun!" I quickly got up from the sofa, without even bothering to put on my shoes, and hurried to the door of Lin Xiaolun's room, knocking hard, "Lin Xiaolun, open the door quickly!"
Lin Xiaolun rubbed his eyes in a daze and opened the door a crack. I pushed the door open with force, knocking Lin Xiaolun off balance, and then I crawled into Lin Xiaolun's bed like a deserter who had found a hiding place on the battlefield.
Lin Xiaolun walked in rubbing his forehead and yelled at me: "Qin Le, what are you doing?"
I poked my head out from under the quilt, looked at him with tears in my eyes, and said, "Brother Xiaolun, I'm afraid..."
Lin Xiaolun was completely unable to withstand my coquettish attack.
He climbed onto the bed, stuck his butt out and said to me, "You sleep on this side, I'll sleep on that side, and don't kick my quilt."
"Okay..." I hugged the quilt, clamped it between my legs, and lay down obediently.
Lin Xiaolun knelt on the bed, and didn't come back to his senses for a long time. After a long time, he slowly lay on the bed, hugging his arms pitifully, without a quilt to cover himself.
From that night on, I was very happy to sleep with Lin Xiaolun, because there was someone next to me who couldn't snatch the quilt from me, and if I had a nightmare, I could kick him off the bed, so why not?
After that, whenever my mother was going on a trip or business trip, I was too lazy to say goodbye and would take the initiative to climb into Lin Xiaolun's bed at night. If Lin Xiaolun had any objections, I would use Aunt Tang and Uncle Lin as my supporters.
The time we spent together in bed together made Lin Xiaolun feel dissatisfied with me and made me more dependent on him. However, this period of time that I was proud of was ruthlessly killed by Lin Xiaolun when he was 10 years old.
After my 10th birthday, I don’t know why Lin Xiaolun suddenly went crazy, but he became uncharacteristically tough with me.
"Why?"
I hugged my pillow and used my trump card on Lin Xiaolun again - pretending to be pitiful.
"Qin Le, stop it. I will never be fooled by your pitiful appearance again." Lin Xiaolun pointed at me with a feather duster, with an expression that said "Don't try to fool me again."
I sniffed and cried, "Lin Xiaolun, I'm afraid of the dark..."
"Afraid of the dark? You're already 10 years old, and you're still afraid of the dark?" Lin Xiaolun interrupted me, blushing, "Qin Le, do you know that you're a girl?"
"I know!" I said a little frustrated.
Lin Xiaolun's hand holding the feather duster was shaking a little: "Then do you know that I'm a boy?"
"I'm not blind." I said dissatisfiedly.
Lin Xiaolun swallowed his saliva and advised earnestly: "Boys and girls can't sleep together, because we are not married yet, and unmarried people can't sleep together."
"But we have been sleeping together for four years." I blinked and looked at Lin Xiaolun.
I think Lin Xiaolun was going crazy, he was clenching his fists tightly.
After a while, no matter how I yelled, Lin Xiaolun still pushed me out of his house decisively: "Qin Le, go straight out and go back to your own home. If you want to sleep with me, call your mother and see if she agrees!"
I was driven out by Lin Xiaolun and watched him ruthlessly close the door.
"Heartless Lin Xiaolun!" I went back home cursing and picked up the phone to complain to my mother.
Ms. Ye Qianli, the mother who usually pushed me towards Lin Xiaolun, was silent for a few seconds on the other end of the phone, and then said to me very seriously: " Lele, Xiaolun is right, you are already 10 years old, you are a girl, you can't sleep with boys anymore."
Wasn't I a girl before I was 10 ?
I sneered and hung up the phone with Ms. Ye Qianli who was still talking at length, then lay on the bed chewing gum.
Forget it, if we don’t want to sleep together, then let’s not sleep together!
Anyway, Lin Xiaolun lives just opposite my house and he won’t go anywhere, so we have a lot of time to grow together.
Time flies. The hibiscus flowers outside the window have been blooming for eight years, from the time I was in elementary school to now.
When I was 14, one day after school.
"Lin Xiaolun." I pedaled hard on my bike to catch up with the young man in the white shirt who was slowing down in front of me.
"What are you doing?" Lin Xiaolun's tone revealed impatience, but he still stopped the bicycle.
"Your letter." I threw a stack of pink envelopes into Lin Xiaolun's basket and gave him a thumbs up.
Lin Xiaolun frowned and said with a headache: "Didn't I ask you to help me deal with it?"
"You should at least take a look! There are so many girls in our school, isn't there one that suits your taste?" I asked curiously.
"No." Lin Xiaolun gripped the handlebars tightly, pushed off with his feet, and slid down the slope.
"Wait for me." I shouted as I chased after him. Looking at Lin Xiaolun in front of me whose clothes and hair were blown by the wind, I suddenly felt distracted.
I parked my bike in the garage downstairs in the community, took the letter out of Lin Xiaolun's basket, and said, "I'm going to throw it away. Please help me lock the bike."
"Yeah." Lin Xiaolun replied.
Before he had taken a few steps, Lin Xiaolun suddenly exclaimed from behind: "Qin Le!"
"Ah?" I turned back in confusion.
Lin Xiaolun stared at my bicycle seat with an unpleasant look on his face. Then he took off his shirt, walked over, and tied it tightly around my waist.
I immediately realized something and quickly lowered my head, my face turning red.
Lin Xiaolun fastened his clothes and stammered, "Let's go find my mother first."
I raised my head and looked at him awkwardly. When our eyes met, we both pretended to look away casually, our cheeks flushed.
That was the first time I experienced what it felt like to grow up. I felt nervous, secretly happy, and a little uncomfortable.
From then on, Lin Xiaolun no longer left before me after school. Instead, he waited for me silently at the school gate and walked home with me without saying a word.
Lin Xiaolun's white shirt was stained with red marks. After I washed it, I didn't know what excuse to use to return it, so I folded it neatly and put it in my storage box.
He is actually a very good boy, very popular in school, both boys and girls like to get along with him. Even though I don't like to admit that he is better than me, but facts speak louder than words, I am also one of those people, when I didn't know what love was, I just wanted to stay with Lin Xiaolun, and stay with him forever .
Time flies and I am now 18 years old.
Lin Xiaolun and I have been fighting with each other since kindergarten.
This is an age that stands between the past and the future, lingering on the edge of youthful and hazy emotions.
"The college entrance examination is just three months away. Your grades are so good, are you still afraid that you won't be able to get into a good university?" I sat opposite Lin Xiaolun with my schoolbag on my back, and said dissatisfiedly when I saw him staying in the classroom after school, writing furiously.
Lin Xiaolun replied without even looking up: "You should also read more books. With your grades, the college entrance examination is dangerous."
I leaned over, put my hands on Lin Xiaolun's desk, and smiled a little weirdly: "Then can you help me with my studies ?"
Lin Xiaolun raised his head, a trace of fear flashed in his eyes, and he immediately realized that he had said the wrong thing. He waved his hand and said hurriedly: "No, no, no, I actually think your grades are pretty good. If you work a little harder, you can catch up with me."
I said nonchalantly, "Don't explain. From now on, your time after school, weekends, game time, and tea time are all mine. You have to help me with my homework."
Lin Xiaolun lay on the table in despair, complaining: "Why is my life so miserable..."
I turned and walked out of the classroom: "Student Lin Xiaolun, why don't you catch up?"
Lin Xiaolun packed the books slowly, making them clatter on purpose. I chuckled .
Both the Qin and Lin families strongly approved of Lin Xiaolun's tutoring me.
Only Lin Xiaolun himself was very reluctant to tutor me.
On the weekend, after tutoring me for an hour, Lin Xiaolun couldn't help but yell at me: "Qin Le, you shook your legs 32 times, looked around 48 times, went to the bathroom 3 times, and was in a daze 11 times in one hour. Tell me, how can I tutor you?"
"I'm serious!" I bit the pen and handed the book to Lin Xiaolun. "Look, I took notes."
Lin Xiaolun threw my book aside, pointed at my nose and said, "Just tell me, what are your plans for the future? Where are you going to study?"
I blinked and blurted out, "Go where you are."
Lin Xiaolun was obviously stunned and wanted to say something, but he stopped himself.
He picked up my book, thought for a few seconds, then leaned over and said to me, "I'm going to Tianjin University."
I sat down, straightened my book, and said, "Okay, let's go to class."
Lin Xiaolun opened the book doubtfully and sat down opposite me.
I am no longer distracted. Isn't it just Tianjin University? As long as you, Lin Xiaolun, are here, I will conquer it even if it is Harvard University.
The school conducts physical examinations on candidates before the graduation examination every year, and this year is no exception.
On the day of the physical examination, the weather was extremely hot. I was standing behind a fat man and almost suffocated.
I don't know how long this fat classmate hasn't showered, but he doesn't want to die, but I do. I ran to Lin Xiaolun and said with a frown, "Lin Xiaolun, the fat guy in front of me is so disgusting. The smell on his body is almost killing me. I'm afraid he hasn't showered for a month."
Lin Xiaolun looked at me, then handed me the unfinished bottle of mineral water in his hand: "I'll go to your place. If you're hot, drink some water."
After saying that, he walked over to where I was standing before.
Although we were quite far away at that time, I could still see him covering his nose and frowning.
I chuckled in my heart, unscrewed the cap of the mineral water bottle and took a sip of water.
Suddenly, a boy's voice came from behind: "Hey... the teacher said we can't change seats casually."
I slowly turned around, looked at him fiercely, and said, "Then you are not allowed to tell the teacher, do you hear me?"
The boy shut up tactfully and turned his head to the other side.
The physical examination was conducted one week before the exam. After the examination was successfully completed, everyone was in a state of high tension.
This year, our school's test site was set up at the Affiliated Middle School of Tianjin Normal University. Looking at the nervous parents and candidates coming and going, I suddenly wanted to laugh.
The Qin and Lin couples were very confident in us and did not come to see us off.
"Are you nervous?" Lin Xiaolun asked me before entering the examination room.
"Not nervous." I answered confidently. Lin Xiaolun nodded, said "come on", and entered his examination room.
I'm really not nervous at all. All my time has paid off. I feel that I'm in better shape than ever before.
After successfully completing all the exams, I happily jumped out of the exam room like a bird released from a cage. On the way home, I rode my bike very fast. Lin Xiaolun kept yelling at me to be careful, but I ignored him.
My heart is already unbridled, so why should I be cautious?
After the exams, many things that I haven’t done or will do can now be done, for example, I can finally openly express my love for Lin Xiaolun.
I slammed on the brakes, turned around and asked Lin Xiaolun, who had caught up with me out of breath, "Are you confident you'll pass the exam?"
Lin Xiaolun exhaled and answered confidently, "Yes."
My heart skipped a beat, and then I turned back, with my back to Lin Xiaolun, and told him in an affirmative tone, "I have one, too."
After saying that, I quickened my pace, ignoring Lin Xiaolun's calls from behind asking me to wait for him.
Although my condition was hundreds of times better than usual, my foundation was much worse than Lin Xiaolun's. He was so sure that he could pass the exam, and I suddenly felt a little lack of confidence.
While I was waiting for the admission letter, I didn't dare to look for Lin Xiaolun. God knows how much I care about this result. If I can't get into the same school as Lin Xiaolun , I really don't know what to do. I can't imagine how monotonous and cruel it would be without him by my side.
Thinking of this, I suddenly realized that in my 18 years of life, Lin Xiaolun has always been the only one by my side.
During the days when the TV news was reporting extensively on the admissions situation of various colleges, I ran to the mailbox room downstairs several times a day, opened our mailbox with the key, reached inside to see if there was the admission letter I had been looking forward to day and night.
After three consecutive days of disappointment, I finally touched a file bag that day.
When I tore it open, I saw a notice with a blue border and a white background, with the four big black bold characters "Tianjin University" printed on it.
I opened my mouth and almost screamed out loud. When I was about to close the mailbox and run upstairs, I suddenly found an envelope lying inside.
I took out the envelope and saw that it was sent from Tianjin Donghua Hospital.
The hospital where I had my physical examination before the exam was Tung Wah Hospital, so this must be the result of the examination!
I closed the mailbox, hummed a little tune happily, walked towards the elevator, and opened the medical examination form sent by the hospital.
Just as I stepped into the elevator, I saw the words printed in bold on the physical examination form: Blood sample test results show possible heart abnormalities.
I hurriedly looked at the name column on the test form, and yes, it was Qin Le, my name.
I suddenly became at a loss, my mind went blank, and the excitement of receiving the admission letter from Tianjin University disappeared in an instant.
The elevator door closed, hit my body, and then bounced back. I slowly moved into the elevator, my hands holding the medical examination results and admission letter feeling cold.
As soon as I got home, I called my mother without thinking too much.
Mom seemed very busy: "Hey, baby, what's wrong? Mom is busy."
I swallowed the words that were about to come out of my mouth, closed my eyes, and tears fell down my face. After hearing my mother's voice, panic overwhelmed me.
"Mom..." My voice trembled a little.
"Le Le, what's wrong with you?" Mom noticed that something was wrong with me and her nerves seemed to be tense.
I held back my tears, gripped the microphone tightly, and squatted on the ground.
"Mom, can you please come back?" I pleaded, panting slightly, in a voice she could hear clearly.
"Le Le, don't worry, mom will be back soon!"
My mother hung up the phone in a hurry, and I fell to the ground, hugged myself and curled up in the dim bedroom.
I slowly reached out my hand, covered my chest tightly, and asked myself: "How could this happen? How could there be a problem with my heart? I have lived for 18 years and have always been fine! Why? Why tell me such cruel news when I am about to start a new journey in life?"