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The dim lights in the bar made me dizzy, and the bitter alcohol slid down my throat, so spicy that it made me cry. This was my first time to get drunk in a bar. The loud music almost broke my eardrums. I cried my heart out while holding the beer bottle. How could I, Sakiko, fall in love with such an unreliable bastard? An Yixuan actually wanted to break up with me and be with another woman. I felt so heartbroken when I thought about it.
"Miss, please don't cry here. Today is our party. You will really affect the atmosphere and other guests." The handsome waiter looked at me helplessly.
"Why do you all dislike me? Do you think I want to cry? What should I do if I break up? You men always bully others!" I threw away the beer bottle and staggered out of the bar. The dancers way for me. Isn't she just a crying woman? Is it that scary?
The evening breeze in April was a little chilly. I sat on the ground feeling dizzy. I took out my phone and wanted to dial the number I knew by heart, but my finger stopped on the screen. My tears burst out again. I slid my finger across the screen, and photos after photos appeared in front of me. They were all our memories...
I knew about An Yixuan, a top student and super handsome guy, in high school. But at that time, he was as dazzling as the sun, and I was as ordinary as a star. I never thought that I would be with him. It was a reunion in college. I plucked up the courage to flirt with him. He changed from being indifferent to accepting me. I couldn't believe it. It turned out that he could also smile gently, be naughty and make people angry, and overbearingly not let me wear off-shoulder clothes, and cook for me to eat carrots that I didn't like. We almost talked about marriage, but... he actually wanted to break up! Thinking of this, my tears flowed out again.
"Ah, Xizi is there!" A scream came from across the street. I looked over with tearful eyes and found it was Yayi and the others, my few close friends. They all ran towards me with terrified looks on their faces.
"Xizi, I finally found you. Where did you go?"
"Where else could you go? You must have gone to the bar to drink. You're really brave. You're not afraid of being taken advantage of when you're drunk. But I don't think any man would be interested in you in this state."
"Hey, what nonsense are you talking about ? Our Xizi is so beautiful, but that bastard An Yixuan didn't know how to cherish her. Xizi, be good, we will take you home."
My head was fuzzy, listening to their quarrels, knowing that they were all doing it for my own good, my tears flowed even harder: "I feel so bad, I really love Yixuan, we have been together for so many years, why did he want to break up?"
"Be good, let's go home first."
I felt my body being forcibly pulled up, and then pushed into the car. I just kept crying. I don't know how long I cried, and I was pushed out of the car again in a daze. It was not until I lay on the soft sofa that my chaotic brain realized that I was already at home, and Yayi and the others were all worried around me, pouring me hot water to drink.
"How do you think I'm inferior to Xin Meng? They broke up 10 years ago. Why can Yixuan still miss her after all these years? Why does Yixuan still choose her?" I asked while crying while holding a tissue.
"Xin Meng is indeed very beautiful. She is the goddess of so many people."
"Shut up, our Xizi is the most beautiful. Be good and don't cry. Just have a good sleep and you will be fine." Yayi gently touched my face and wiped away my tears.
I lay on the sofa, crying and grumbling, and fell asleep. My dreams were all about my past with An Yixuan, so much so that when I woke up the next day, my eyes were so swollen that I couldn't open them. This sad state lasted for a week. I couldn't eat or sleep, and my weight dropped sharply.
At work, other colleagues actually asked me how I lost weight. Didn’t they see my pale and weak face? I went to work weakly and left work weakly, dragging my broken body to support myself sadly. I didn’t fall down, and I couldn’t fall down yet.
However, just when I was trying to cheer myself up, I saw that familiar figure standing at the gate of my community. An Yixuan, wearing a black suit, was standing with his back to me. I paused and wanted to turn around and run away, but then I thought, why should I run away? Shouldn't he be the one running away?
An Yixuan seemed very irritable, and kept pacing back and forth. Perhaps I stared at him for too long, making him feel creepy, so he suddenly turned around, and then we stared at each other. An Yixuan seemed to have lost weight, and his slender figure looked even thinner, his facial features were slightly sunken, and there were dark circles under his eyes. My heart ached, and tears began to well up. His pair of eyes as black as black jade stared straight at me, and Su Shi's words suddenly popped up in my mind, "We looked at each other without words, but tears flowed down my cheeks," and then I began to cry in a very cowardly way.
"Xizi, I've become accustomed to life with you, and I...I really can't bear to leave you." An Yixuan frowned, his eyes filled with heartache and guilt.
"So what? You still want to be with Xin Meng?" I sniffed and my head started to throb. My health has plummeted due to not being able to eat or sleep for such a long time. When I left the company today, I already had a high fever of 38 degrees. But I didn't want to go to the hospital. The important thing was that An Yixuan, who would coax me to get injections and eat, was no longer with me.
"Xiao Xi..." An Yixuan bit his lip with a painful expression, and he seemed to want to say something.
Blurry shadows began to appear in front of my eyes. I bit my lips tightly, but it couldn't relieve the dizzy feeling. It must be because I hadn't eaten for too long and had a fever. My body began to shake, and I heard An Yixuan's nervous and worried voice. My brain consciousness began to dissipate, and I finally gave up resisting and passed out. At the moment of coma, I seemed to see An Yixuan rushing towards me.
