Volume 5: Growing Up Chapter 318 In the Name of Diplomacy
Pam sat at the bar counter of the Paradise strip club in Providence, Rhode Island, watching the press conference on TV about Dennis announcing his candidacy for president, and said with some regret:
“What does it say about Dennis that he can run for president in this country?”
The club hall was empty, with only him, Jim and Tommy, while little Page was working as a bartender at the bar.
Tommy said, "It shows that America is strong enough that even if an idiot is elected president, we don't have to worry about him destroying the country."
On TV, Dennis, dressed in a suit and tie, was being interviewed by a reporter. A reporter asked, "Mr. Dennis Herbers, you have always said that you would be an excellent captain and lead America, the world's most magnificent ship, to the shore of freedom."
"Yes, that's why I ran for election. America needs a better captain," Dennis responded gently.
The reporter continued, “But some people question whether America, under your leadership, will become a giant ship like the Titanic.”
" Of course , it will be the same as the Titanic." Dennis agreed, still smiling.
This sentence stunned the reporters.
"Sir, are you sure you know the Titanic?" the reporter asked again.
Dennis nodded. "I know. Of course I know. No one knows more about the Titanic than I do. The cruise ship that sank, right? The movie is very famous. I know the actress who starred in it."
"Yes, we all know that you know the female lead. After all, a reporter has photographed you entering and leaving a hotel with the female lead of the movie." The reporter suddenly found that he could not continue to attack Dennis at the original rhythm. This guy probably didn't even think that the people were using the Titanic to question his ability to govern, so he could only turn the topic to the scandal.
Dennis immediately corrected the reporter's words: "I have to explain that although it is true that Ms. Winslet and I have some intimacy in the hotel, it is actually because she is a good friend of my long-time friend, Major General Glenn of the U.S. Army. Ms. Winslet is a supporter of the LGBTQ community, and Glenn is a member of the LGBTQ community. Although he is physically a man, his psychological gender is a woman. Of course, I am also a member of the LGBTQ community. I am sorry that I deceived my wife for so many years because of my inferiority complex, but she chose to forgive me. I now take this opportunity to officially announce that I am LGBTQ and Glenn is my other half. It takes courage to admit these, just like standing up to govern the United States. If I don't have the courage to face a mere family emotional problem, how can I face the difficulties of this country!"
"Some people say I was too intimate with Ms. Winslet, which is disrespectful to my partner Glenn and me because Ms. Winslet was just a close friend in the room, helping me put toe polish on my feet to make me more attractive to Glenn."
"Sir...you announced your coming out at the press conference for your presidential primary campaign?" The reporter was stunned and it took him a long while to come back to his senses, and he spoke stutteringly.
Pam, who was watching TV, was also a little dazed and asked Tommy, "Is there a problem in Dennis and Catherine's marriage?"
"Shortly before the election, the idiot Dennis was photographed by reporters being intimate with Winslet in a hotel room without drawing the curtains. Fortunately, the picture was not very clear. We could only see him standing and Winslet squatting in front of him. As for whether it was biting or applying toe oil, it depended on how he explained it. Dennis did a good job in crisis public relations. The next day, a reporter under Ted released new high-definition photos. The photos clearly showed Dennis being pushed by old man Glen in front of the hotel window, which made the black people and LGBTQ groups in America collectively climax."
"Not only can it get a lot of votes from these two groups, but it can also tell everyone and Winslet's husband that he is gay. How can a gay have an affair with Winslet? Of course, it's just a simple toe polish."
"Dennis sacrificed too much for his presidential campaign. Is Katherine going to divorce him?" Pam asked with emotion.
Tommy shook his head. "Katherine doesn't care who Dennis is having an affair with, whether it's a female celebrity, a nigger, or an alien. She just wants to be the First Lady of the United States. She will not divorce him and will continue to support him as a family member."
"You should say that nigger Glenn sacrificed too much for Dennis, just like Martin beside Tommy." Jim next to him said while drinking a high-calorie, high-sugar cola.
It took the reporter a long time to react and continued to ask: "Let's go back to the Titanic issue. Sir, what do you think of this issue? Comparing the America you lead to the sinking Titanic is not an optimistic question."
He was afraid that Dennis wouldn't understand, so he even pointed out the problem.
Dennis looked around and then spoke with a heavy expression, "The sinking of the Titanic was not the captain's fault, nor was it the passengers' fault. It was the company that built it that cut corners, was corrupt, and used cheap steel. It was very bad, just like the United States today. The journey to freedom is beautiful, of course it is beautiful, people witness all kinds of scenery along the way. I dare not promise that during my tenure as captain, I will definitely accompany all Americans to the other side, but I promise that as a U.S. Army officer who has served for many years and loves this country more than myself, what I can promise is that even if America really sinks like the Titanic one day, I will try my best to get all the passengers on the lifeboats, and I, as the captain, will stick to it until death comes and never back down."
"Translate what this sentence means, Tommy. Since Dennis entered politics, he has spoken less and less like a human being." After hearing what Dennis said, Pam pouted and asked Tommy.
Tommy yawned. "What he meant was, even if America would be worse off during his administration than it is now, he would still seek re-election. Even if America were to perish, it would be in his hands."
"Why do you want to run for president?" the reporter asked the last question on TV.
"It's an obvious question, because the job of president does not require my work experience. On the contrary, if I have eight years of experience as president, I cannot run for election. America always requires the president to be a pure rookie. No academic qualifications or background are required. As long as I am an American citizen, I am eligible to run for election." Dennis laughed and joked, then changed the subject:
"Back to your question, why do I want to run for election? Because this is a right granted to every American by the U.S. Constitution. Because I and ordinary people like me who come from the bottom of society no longer believe in politicians who only know how to deceive us with high-sounding words. That's why I appear here to fight for American freedom, democracy, race, and LGBTQ diversity."
At this time, the door of the strip club's box opened, and Dennis came out with his pants held up. He turned his head and said to the dancers in the room who were wearing clothes, "Baby, remember to vote for me. I promise that after I am elected, I will give some preferential policies to the profession of strippers."
"The American people must be very happy to see that you are still concerned about the people's sentiments and the country's people while sleeping with prostitutes ." Tommy said as he took a sip of whiskey.
Dennis came over and sat down next to Tommy. "Come on, Katherine and I booked the best nightclub in Boston to throw you a party, and I have to deal with illegal immigration for the rest of the time?"
"Because the words of illegal immigrants are not enough as evidence, even if they want to tell the American people that they have served you, they have no chance of gaining the trust of the court. For example, the South American girl who just accompanied you will soon be deported back to her country." Tommy said.
Dennis was holding up his glass of wine, and frowned when he heard Tommy's words: "No, this is inhumane."
"So?" Tommy asked.
After Dennis finished drinking the whiskey, he stood up and walked towards the box, hugged the dancer who had just walked out and said, "Of course, I want to have another one before she leaves. Come on, girl, I want to visit you again in the name of diplomacy."
