Volume 4: White Devil Chapter 298 If there is no recommendation letter from Tommy
Inside the garrison yard, thirteen soldiers stood in a row, trying to straighten their backs.
Dennis paced back and forth in front of the soldiers, with his hands behind his back and his head held high, imitating the arrogance of German officers in the movies.
But he soon got tired of this behavior, because these trash in front of him probably couldn't understand why he, the new lieutenant, walked like a castrated rooster.
Finally, he stopped and looked at them. "In order to prevent being blown to pieces by Israeli or Lebanese mortars, I will make it short. First, I will ask a few questions. You don't have to answer them right away, but you'd better tell me the answers before today. The first question is, in Naqoura, what is the standard consumption of hemp, pills, prostitutes, etc. by soldiers?"
"Second question, if there is an air-raid shelter in this building, remember to move my bed, toilet, inflatable doll, desk and the like into it. I will live and work in it in the future. If not, Glenn, find a few people who don't want to extend their service to help me dig. The faster and deeper you dig, the longer your family leave will be. If you can dig through the earth, I will help you apply to the Pentagon for the exclusive title medal of the strongest engineer in the U.S. Army. So is there anyone willing to take the initiative to sign up in front of me?"
Most of the soldiers immediately raised their hands. Dennis nodded with satisfaction: "Thank you for your statement. It makes me feel respected enough."
"The third question is, Sean Danning from Warwick Lincoln High School, who can't even spell the word astronaut, why the hell are you here?" Dennis walked up to a soldier and stood in front of him, smiling and asked.
The soldier who hesitantly called out Dennis' name when he saw him for the first time was Sean, a classmate from Lincoln High School in Warwick. He was also a famous figure in Lincoln High School at that time, only slightly inferior to the trio of him, Tommy and Pam.
"Dennis, fuck! Even if Lieutenant Marvin called out your name, I couldn't believe it was you! Man, what's wrong with this world? You've joined the army? And you've become an officer?" Sean saw Dennis talking to him, and his face showed joy of reunion. He was so excited that he even choked up at the end: "I didn't expect to see someone from Warwick again!"
Dennis saw that everyone else was looking at him curiously, so he didn't respond immediately. Instead, he patted Sean on the shoulder and said, "Let's talk slowly after I announce the disbandment."
Then he stepped back a few steps and looked at everyone. "Perhaps many superiors have told you that soldiers should not fear death, be brave to sacrifice, and be proud to die on the battlefield. Those are all bullshit, understand? Soldiers must first learn to survive on the battlefield. After all, dead soldiers cannot defend America. I want you to live, and I want to live too. So, if there are warriors in this team who want to charge into battle and die on the battlefield, please stand up now. I swear, I will write you the most gorgeous letter of recommendation and recommend you to the real heroic troops, those elite troops nicknamed Blue Arrow, Rock, and Screaming Eagle. Are there any? Stand up! I'm not kidding! I graduated from West Point Military Academy, and many of my classmates served in the elite troops I just mentioned. If you want to be a fighting hero, this may be a very precious opportunity for you. If you stay, you will only become a pile of living garbage."
A group of people had blank expressions on their faces, and some even turned their heads away.
"None, which is good, because I can't write a recommendation letter, and none of my classmates are serving in front-line troops. The United States will not send top students from West Point to places with high mortality rates. I am an accident." Dennis smiled.
"If not, then congratulations, your commander has prepared a small greeting gift for you, Glenn."
Glenn took out two large backpacks and placed them in front of everyone. He unzipped them and took out sets of brightly colored women's underwear and one copy after another of the authentic American "Penthouse" magazines with revealing covers.
Dennis pointed at the soldiers in front of him and counted them, saying, "My transfer order didn't say that I was going to lead you all, so the number of welcome gifts is a little small, only ten sets, not enough for each of the thirty people. Fortunately, more than half of the idiots went to the hospital and paid a high price to hire a nurse to treat their sexual hunger. Twelve people will get ten sets... Glenn, how the hell are we going to divide it? You're better at math than me, calculate it clearly, and then divide it among them. Those who go to the hospital are unlucky."
"Just now you asked them to raise their hands to sign up to dig the hole, and two of them didn't raise their hands." Glenn spoke up at the right time and added a detail he had noticed.
Dennis nodded. "Very good. Excluding the two guys who disrespected their superiors, there are exactly ten people left. Each of them will receive a set of underwear and a magazine. This is a small gift for you comrades who will live and die together in the next period of time. Don't underestimate these underwear. Each set carries the body odor of young girls in Beirut. Lieutenant Glenn spent a lot of time and energy to steal them from the laundry rooms of those luxury hotels in the foreign embassy area. Each copy of Penthouse magazine was shipped to Lebanon by my classmates in the United States. It was more difficult than terrorists smuggling weapons under the noses of Israel."
Glenn held up one gift after another, solemnly and sacredly as if he was holding an American flag, and handed them to the surprised and surprised soldiers in front of him.
"Thank You Sir!" This time, there was no need for others to remind them with their eyes. Every guy knew how to stand at attention, as if receiving a medal from the president, and shouted loudly and excitedly to express the highest respect to Chiefs Dennis and Glenn.
Which officer graduating from a military academy would prepare such a thoughtful greeting gift when reporting to a new unit!
Before, every one of those stupid officers thought that the soldiers were just like them, and that they could drive out at any time to fool around with women, and then use the excuse of helping women get green cards to avoid paying the overnight fees.
This respect almost reached its peak when, with Glenn's careful reminder, they discovered that there was a rolled hemp grass hidden in the bra, which might have been stained with the scent of woman's milk.
At that moment, the soldiers felt that they would do anything as long as Dennis didn't let them go to the battlefield to die.
Dennis looked at these excited little cuties and said with a smile, "What are you waiting for? Go back to the dormitory, the bathroom, or even to the street and have a good jerk off, smoke a cigarette, or just put on that set of underwear and help the brothers have fun! Glenn, tell them that except for Sean Danning, they can disband."
"Private First Class Sean Danning stays, the rest of you, disband!" Glenn acted as the sergeant major and signaled everyone to disperse.
A group of young people who were just in their early twenties and were thrown to the other side of the earth cheered and rushed towards the dormitory.
"Glenn, find out the details of these guys and see which ones can be used as mules, which ones can help us with accounting, and which ones can take the blame for us. As usual, if the other party doesn't have any bad habits and is very motivated, don't hesitate to report to your superiors as if he's a fucking Soviet spy, and ask the Army Intelligence Agency to send someone to investigate him and kick him out by the way." Dennis waited until his men dispersed before admonishing Glenn who was walking over.
Glenn glanced at Sean standing next to him and signaled Dennis to pay attention to the occasion. Dennis laughed and said, "Sean can't be a Soviet spy. He can only be ranked third among the celebrities of Lincoln High School. That's because Tommy gave up. Otherwise, he would be ranked fourth."
Glenn then retreated to the entrance of the hall. When only himself and Sean, who was also from Warwick, were left in the yard, Dennis looked at his high school classmate and raised his fist at him. "Dismissed, soldier, let's chat casually. Speaking of which, when you were in high school, I didn't think you loved your country so much that you were willing to join the army for it, and you even came to serve overseas. What happened to you? A handsome young Lebanese man who fled to the United States for asylum stole your girlfriend , so you came to fuck his country?"
Sean and Dennis bumped fists, then cursed angrily, "I %&#@love your mother Mahua Country!"
After cursing, he took out the hemp that Dennis had given him and put it in his mouth and lit it. "I wish I could take a gun and shoot Jimmy Carter's head off! If that bastard hadn't restored the draft registration system! I might have been married with kids and a happy truck driver now."
He took a deep breath and then handed it to Dennis, who pushed the weed back: "Dude, it looks like you need it more. Besides, I didn't play with this stuff much when I was studying at West Point. Now I only play with it occasionally."
From Sean's narration, which was peppered with foul language, Dennis learned another story about a young American country boy joining the army, a story that was completely different from his own and Tony's.
After Sean graduated from high school and turned 18, he obediently registered for the Selective Service signed by President Carter. It wasn't because he responded positively out of his own patriotic sense of honor, but because President Carter stipulated that American citizens who deliberately failed to register, once discovered, would face five years in prison and a fine of up to $250,000, would be barred from certain federal benefits for life, and would be banned from being employed by the federal government for life.
The most important thing is that Sean wants to be a truck driver, and the prerequisite for him to apply for a truck driver's license is to complete the military service registration, otherwise he will not be issued a driver's license. It was under such circumstances that he went to register.
When he went to register at the Selective Service Bureau in Rhode Island under the Conscription Command, the staff there assured him that the chances of his name being selected in the lottery were negligible. However, less than three years after he registered, the Federal Conscription Command called him to inform him that he had been selected for service and that he needed to go to a designated hospital to complete a physical examination and report as a new recruit.
Sean was stunned at the time. He had just bought a truck with a loan and started a transport business, looking forward to the happy life of an American blue-collar truck driver. Now, with just one phone call, he had to say goodbye to his beloved truck and fiancée and go to serve in the army.
After a few months of hasty training at a base in China, he was sent to this hellhole of a place called Lebanon.
"Why did you come to Lebanon? I mean it's normal procedure. The base commander will consider your idea. If you don't want to go so far, you can just change to a closer overseas base?" Dennis asked curiously.
He knew more about the enlistment process for new recruits than Sean. Generally speaking, unless a Vietnam War-level battle broke out, the United States would not throw stupid new recruits directly to a place as far away as Lebanon. At least they would be allowed to adapt to the military for a period of time at home, and then go to overseas bases near the U.S. mainland to adapt for a period of time.
"Uh... I... or the guys who were drafted in Kent County at that time, all did some dishonorable things, and then were sent overseas to rot as punishment." Sean heard Dennis' question and said, "We went to the hospital for a physical examination. You know, whether you can avoid military service depends entirely on the physical examination report, so many people hope to get a physical examination to prove that they are not suitable for military service, and they think of various ways to do it."
"One wanted to shoot himself in the thigh with a gun, but was later told that the injury would not affect his enlistment after recovery, unless he was cruel enough to use a shotgun loaded with the largest buck bullet and blow off his entire leg."
"Some people say they have all kinds of weird mental illnesses, talk nonsense, insult others, etc., but the designated hospitals have professional psychiatrists and psychologists. Those guys can easily expose the liars' scams. They also scare us poor people by showing us a movie about treating mental illness. The doctor in the movie said that as long as we cut off some leaves in our brains, we can cure mental illness and make us more obedient. Many people are scared."
"Later, I found a loophole: the urine test! This is definitely the best opportunity to cheat. The people in the hospital and the recruitment office didn't pay any attention to the urine test at all. They just let us go to the bathroom to collect urine by ourselves, and there was no one to supervise us. These idiots simply gave us the best opportunity to cheat."
"And we just happened to run into a jerk in the restroom selling urine from syphilis patients at a high price. Damn, a small cup of urine, two hundred dollars, much more expensive than the fucking poison! But I was willing to pay no matter how expensive it was. After all, having severe syphilis could avoid conscription. I bought a cup, and later the urine test report came out. The doctor told the conscription officer that I had syphilis and could not perform military service. I was so happy to hear this, thinking that I could finally drive a truck with peace of mind. Do you know what happened next?"
"What happened?" There was no longer any curiosity on Dennis' face, he just agreed perfunctorily.
"The doctor said that the urine test report showed that I not only had syphilis, but I was also fucking pregnant!" Sean shouted with a face full of grief and indignation:
"That idiot who made two hundred bucks from me sold me a cup of urine from a pregnant woman with syphilis!"
Dennis patted Sean's shoulder with sympathy on his face: "Don't get excited, I understand. Didn't you find out in the end that all the soldiers bought similar urine?"
"That's right. Even the urine bought by several female soldiers had problems. The urine test results showed that these female soldiers suffered from severe syphilis and prostatitis." Sean said:
"Afterwards, we found the bastard who sold urine, and he confidently said that he had mixed up the two urine samples! Damn it, the result was that our follow-up physical examinations were quickly passed. After a few months of training at the domestic base, we were all sent to various hellholes around the world to rot on the pretext of suspected fraud! And we can't refuse. Once you refuse, these people will make it difficult for you to retire. You could have retired in two years, which is good, but because I am suspected of falsifying to evade conscription, if you don't want to be discharged without honor and be deprived of retirement benefits, you should renew your term obediently and serve for at least six years. Only then will they consider giving us, who used urine tests to deceive the military, a chance to be discharged with honors. Otherwise, why do you think I am still staying in this hellhole."
"Have you ever thought that he deliberately let you see him, and also deliberately put the urine in the wrong direction?" Dennis suddenly said beside Sean.
Sean was originally taking a puff of smoke, but stopped midway when he heard Dennis' words. He almost choked to death. After a series of violent coughing, he stared at Dennis and said, "Is that... intentional?"
"I'm just guessing, but it's unlikely. After all, there's no reason for the other party to deliberately frame you." Dennis exhaled, "See you later, Sean, I'll go check my lounge."
After saying that, Dennis turned and walked through the gate, leaving Sean alone in the yard, smoking in silence.
Glenn, who had listened to the conversation between the two, looked at Dennis who had walked in and said, "Dennis, isn't that the trick you devised when we were discussing the military service system in the West Point class? Set a trap for those who don't want to serve, smear them with a stain, and then use the excuse of suspected fraud to evade service and deprive them of their retirement benefits, forcing them to keep postponing their discharge."
"Yes, it seems that some of my classmates who work in the Recruiting Headquarters have already started to put their knowledge into practice." Dennis turned his head and glanced at Sean, who was looking dejected.
"If it weren't for Tommy's recommendation letter, Tony and I wouldn't have gone to military school. Now, like Sean, we're rotting in a corner of the earth, cursing the idiot who accidentally took the wrong urine, and we don't know who to hate. Thanks to fucking Tommy."
