Volume 1 2009 Chapter 4: Old Pain, New Life
The heavy curtains blocked out the faint light from the window, and the room was pitch dark.
Yi Haoyan woke up early and lay on the bed in a daze, not knowing what to do.
Ever since he became depressed, his sleep has not been very good and he tends to wake up early. Waking up early for no reason like this has become a common occurrence.
I took out my cell phone and saw that it was only a little past 4 o'clock. It was still early to get up, so I tried to sleep in a little longer.
As the phone screen went out, darkness flooded the room again. Yi Haoyan huddled in the blanket, trying hard to clear his mind.
At times like this, all kinds of thoughts and memories would emerge in my mind, and the pain of losing my parents would be clearly replayed over and over again. It felt like a healed scar was torn open again, and the pain that had been forgotten appeared again, bloody and burning.
However, this is not the most uncomfortable thing.
After all, the physical pain has healed, and the pain is just a memory.
The regret and self-blame that gnawing at one's heart and the feeling of powerlessness that fills one's entire body are the root causes of despair.
If I hadn't asked my parents to take me out to play, would I have avoided the misfortune? !
If only I were a real man like my brother!
Maybe the parents would not have chosen to go out for a walk that afternoon to take care of their own emotions. Maybe there would not have been a tragedy later!
These unanswerable questions became an eternal torture, gnawing at the boy's heart over and over again!
It was all because of me ! My parents lost their lives!
The mother who always gently comforted, encouraged and tolerated me, and the father who was as strong as a mountain and could bear everything, eventually turned into a cold corpse because of my momentary whim!
All this! It's all because of this useless me!
Although no one blamed him, Yi Haoyan could not forgive himself.
The unmanly self.
The cowardly self.
The self that lives in vain.
Like a drowning man struggling hysterically , Yi Haoyan held his head tightly with both hands, gasping for breath, covered in cold sweat, and tossing and turning restlessly on the bed.
Slowly, one hour, two hours passed, and gradually my strength was exhausted. I felt like I was collapsing and fell into a sleep.
When I woke up again, the room was already bright. The sunlight, carrying the summer heat, shone through the window and filled the entire room unscrupulously. I didn't know when the curtains had been opened.
"Get up, Xiaoyan, go shopping with your sister today and buy you some decent clothes." Sun Enxi stood at the door wearing pink home clothes.
"You look so bad, did you not sleep well yesterday? Did you choose your bed?"
Yi Haoyan struggled to get up and said weakly, "Sister, when did you come in?"
"It's been a while. I knocked on the door. You didn't respond, so I came in by myself!"
"Forget it, what's wrong with my clothes? Are they very unpresentable?"
"Well, it's not very presentable. All you have is a white T-shirt and sweatpants. It's a waste of your face."
"No! I'm fine this way."
"You are a patient! Now that you have come to Korea, you should change your way of life and live more freely! Don't be like an old man all day long, you should have some youthful vigor!"
Unable to resist his cousin, Yi Haoyan got up, packed himself up and prepared to go out.
My uncle and aunt had already gone out, and breakfast was left in the kitchen.
By the time Yi Haoyan finished his breakfast, Sister Enxi had already put on her exquisite makeup and changed her clothes.
She wore a light blue short-sleeved chiffon shirt on the upper body, a light silver high-waisted side-slit one-step skirt on the lower body, 7cm high-heeled sandals and a delicate small handbag. She had slender lines and a capable and charming temperament.
"Sister, do you have to be like this?" Yi Haoyan asked in confusion, "I'm just going out to buy something, is it necessary for you to dress up like this?"
Sun Enxi smiled and replied: "You don't understand this. Korean society pays attention to appearance. Dressing up well when going out is basic etiquette. Not to mention dressing up, you can hardly meet people without makeup. It's different here from China. You have to adapt to the local customs. If you dress too rustically, people will look down on you."
South Korea is probably one of the countries that pays the most attention to appearance. Almost every woman wears makeup when going out, and men also pay attention to skin care and maintenance. Gyms and beauty salons are everywhere, not to mention the well-known plastic surgery. Paying attention to appearance and clothing has become a part of Korean social culture and can be seen everywhere.
After breakfast, the two drove straight to the shopping area, visiting Hyundai Department Store, Shinsegae Department Store, and Lotte Department Store, shopping as they walked.
I have to say that Korean department stores are indeed very developed, with a wide variety of clothing, shoes and hats, and attentive service.
At the beginning, Sun Enxi asked Yi Haoyan to try on clothes, but later he walked faster and faster. He just looked at the styles, reported the size, swiped his card and left. Yi Haoyan was just a bag carrier the whole time, with more and more bags in his hands. He could not catch up with Sun Enxi who was walking very fast in high heels.
After a walk around, by lunchtime, Yi Haoyan was already feeling sleepy and exhausted, but Sun Enxi, on the contrary, was in high spirits and looked radiant.
"Sister, that's enough! You've bought so much. It would take a long time to change all the clothes every day. I used to only have a few sets of clothes to change into." Yi Haoyan asked while wolfing down the food.
"Well, these are enough for now. Come with me to the beauty salon after dinner."
"What? Why would I go to a beauty salon? You can go by yourself, sis."
"Your hairstyle is too tacky! Go find a stylist to adjust it for you this afternoon. I'm familiar with the dean there."
Yi Haoyan, who was criticized for his unfashionable hairstyle, munched on chicken nuggets unconvincedly, but dared not say anything.
