My name is Luo Qubai.
Before I met Lin Qianliu, I didn’t know what love looked like.
Later, I realized that love came at the moment when Lin Qianliu broke into my life.

Two years ago.
After the college entrance examination, I came out of the examination room.
The school gate was crowded with people, and students were discussing the answers to the college entrance examination questions, or talking about how many points they could get in the exam and how confident they were of being admitted to a certain school.
When I heard those voices, I thought of Lin Qianliu, and my eyes subconsciously searched around me. Then I remembered that we were in different examination rooms.
I shook my head helplessly, expressing contempt for my own belated realization.
Unconsciously, I have been influenced by Lin Qianliu, but maybe she has never known it.
Thinking about this, my hand unconsciously reached for my pocket again, wanting to take out my phone to call Lin Qianliu. However, before my hand reached into my pocket, I saw my mother. Across the crowd, she waved at me, motioning me to come over, so I frowned and squeezed into the crowd.
"Mom, why are you here? Just wait for me in the car." I have always disliked noise, and so does my mother.
"I was afraid you couldn't find it." The mother smiled gently, but the wrinkles between her eyebrows revealed her forced smile.
I know she is worried about me. It has nothing to do with my age, but because I was suspected of having autism when I was a child and received treatment for a period of time. So, even if I am healthy now, she is always worried.
I didn't say anything. After my mother took my arm, I walked through the crowd with her to my father's car. Then, my mother sat in the passenger seat and I sat in the back seat as usual.
After I fastened my seat belt, my father started the car and asked me, "Qu Bai, how did you do in the exam?"
I smiled faintly: "Very good."
The mother gave her father a reproachful look and said, "Our Xiaobai is so smart, how can he fail the test?"
I was still smiling, thinking about texting Lin Qianliu, so I reached into my pocket to take out my phone, but found it was empty. I frowned, turned my entire pocket inside out, and then turned the other pocket inside out, but found nothing. My phone was gone.
Probably seeing my movements from the rearview mirror, my mother leaned over, turned her head and asked me, "What's wrong?"
I spread my hands and said, "My phone is gone."
"Did it fall?" Hearing this, the father pretended to turn around and asked, "Do you want to go back to the examination room to look for it?"
"No need." I quickly stopped him, "It won't do any good anyway."
Actually, I don't like using mobile phones. The only function of mobile phones for me is to contact my parents. Speaking of which, the missing mobile phone is a second-hand mobile phone that my father discarded. It is an old model and has no other functions except making calls and sending messages.
I think, just like what Lin Qianliu said, I am a boring person, and I only have study in my eyes. In addition to my parents calling me, Lin Qianliu would occasionally make one or two harassing calls, and send some annoying text messages that I didn't really hate.
Thinking of Lin Qianliu, I also thought of her determined eyes when they met for the last time before the college entrance examination.
That day, she vowed to me: "I will definitely be admitted to the same university as you."
I missed her so much that I didn't notice that my face reflected in the car window was smiling like a river of spring water. All I could think of was Lin Qianliu. I didn't know how much confidence Lin Qianliu had in her promises. I only saw a little uneasiness and nervousness in her eyes.
With Lin Qianliu's grades, he could be admitted to Y University, but he might be assigned to a less popular major.
Rather than worrying about her failing the entrance exam, I was more worried that she would be forced to study an unpopular major that she had no interest in because I got her into Y University.
I am also afraid that Lin Qianliu will regret making hasty decisions about his life because of a word I said.
While I was daydreaming, my father had already driven the car into the parking lot of a five-star hotel in the city.
After the car turned off, I looked out the window and asked in confusion, "How did we get to the hotel?"
"Your dad has booked a VIP room here and arranged a celebration banquet to celebrate for you." After my mother pulled me out of the car with a smile, she reached out and pulled the corners of my mouth upwards, "Xiaobai, smile. Mom and Dad know you don't like it, but this is the only time in your life, so just be happy and obey us."
I was helpless, and I knew that the celebration party was arranged by my mother. Given my father's personality, he would not arrange such a party.
"Mom and Dad promise that it won't be later than ten o'clock." Seeing that I was reluctant, my mother raised three fingers and made a swearing gesture.
"Nine o'clock." I mean, no more than nine o'clock.
"No problem!" My mother smiled, took my hand with one and my father's hand with the other, and walked towards the elevator.
The celebration party ended up lasting longer than the time my mother had promised.
It was nearly half past ten when I tiptoed out of the celebration party.
Because I was thinking about Lin Qianliu all the time, as soon as I left the hotel, I went to the nearest business office to apply for a new phone card. However, the business office was already closed.
In desperation, I went straight home, turned on my computer and logged into QQ.
If he can't find me, Lin Qianliu will definitely look for me on QQ.
Sure enough, as soon as I logged into QQ, a continuous "beep" sound came from the small speaker of the computer. It was the sound of message reminders, and I could tell from the sound that Lin Qianliu had sent me a lot of messages.
Thinking about it, I smiled and clicked on the flashing avatar on QQ——
"Why is your phone turned off?"
"Luo Qubai, where are you?"
"Are you ignoring me? Why are you ignoring me?"
"Speak up, reply to my message, don't you want me anymore?"
"Is it because I failed the test that you don't want me anymore?"
"You think I'm terrible, don't you?"
After reading more than 40 messages in a row, I could feel Lin Qianliu's helplessness and sadness even through the screen. After reading half of the message, I couldn't keep calm anymore and just wanted to run to Lin Qianliu's side immediately.
However, when I stood at the door, I remembered that I had no idea where Lin Qianliu was.
Feeling guilty and sad, I started to search through boxes and cabinets like crazy. After a long time, I finally found the only spare mobile phone in the house, which was an old mobile phone that my mother had discarded a long time ago.
I quickly replaced the spare SIM card, plugged in the charger, and turned on the phone.
Every second of waiting seemed so long. After turning on the phone, I directly dialed Lin Qianliu's number. Fortunately, I have a good memory and Lin Qianliu's number has long been in my mind.
“Beep—beep—”
The call was connected just as the waiting tone sounded. I quickly said, "Hello?"
Lin Qianliu paused, then cried out, "Luo Qubai, bastard!"
The sobbing voice full of grievance instantly softened my heart and hurt my eyes. I couldn't help but frown and called her softly: "Lin Qianliu?"
"Are you finally willing to answer my call?" Lin Qianliu seemed to think that the call was from her. He cried and doubted the authenticity of the call. "Or, or am I hallucinating?"
"It's me, Luo Qubai." From the tone of her voice, it seemed that she was drunk. I became more nervous, but I remained calm. "Qianliu, where are you? I'll come to you right away."
"Is it you?" Lin Qianliu paused, and I heard the sound of her swallowing beer, "No, you are not, you are not Luo Qubai!"
"It's me, Lin Qianliu. Where are you? How much have you drunk?" I was about to lose control.
"You are not Luo Qubai! Luo Qubai doesn't want me anymore! Wuuu! He doesn't want me anymore! He doesn't want me anymore!"
"Lin Qianliu, tell me first, where are you?"
"Luo Qubai is a bastard! He doesn't want me anymore, he doesn't want to care about me. Even if I die today, he won't shed a tear!"
"He will." I gritted my teeth, trying to stay calm.
"He won't, he won't!"
"Lin Qianliu..."
"Okay, you said you are him, then come here, come find me! I'll wait for you, I'll wait for you here! Come here, come find me! Come here!"
"Bang--" Before she finished her voice, the sharp sound of a wine bottle falling to the ground came from the phone, followed by a burst of curses into my ears.
I couldn't help but growl, "Lin Qianliu!"
"Hello?" I heard another voice reply. The man said, "Hi, your friend is drunk and acting crazy in our store. Can you come and take her away? If not, we will call the police."
"I'm sorry, I'll be there right away." I took a deep breath and rubbed my aching brow. "Please tell me the address."
After hanging up the phone, I hurried out the door and rushed over.
When I saw Lin Qianliu, she was already drunk and unconscious.
She was lying on the cold cement floor outside the store, her face flushed from being drunk. I frowned, feeling extremely uncomfortable. It was summer, and the wind blew gently, but it seemed to have come from a distant winter. I quickly leaned over to hug her, but the clerk held me back.
"Well, she hasn't paid yet." The clerk was about the same age as us and sounded a little embarrassed when he spoke.
"How much?" I immediately took out my wallet.
"The total is two hundred and thirty-four yuan. Here, it includes the table and chairs she just broke." He pointed to the corner not far away.
I didn't and just took out the money from my wallet and handed it over.
Crouching down, I tried to pick her up while trying to wake her up.
"Lin Qianliu?"
"Uh-huh……"
Maybe my hands were a little cold, and touching her hot face made her feel very uncomfortable, so she hummed softly, pushed me away, and shrank to the other side.
The next second, the phone slipped from her hand and fell to the ground.
I sighed slightly, and my cell phone reminded me that I should call Mr. Lin - at least I needed to know the address of Lin Qianliu's home so that I could get her there safely.
Thinking about it, I picked up my phone.
After pressing the main button, the phone screen lit up and a digital password lock interface popped up.
I frowned in embarrassment. This combination lock seemed like a hint that I was doing something like a thief.
I took a breath, shook my head, put aside the discomfort in my heart, and focused my attention on the combination lock.
With Lin Qianliu's simple personality, setting a password shouldn't be too difficult.
Thinking of this, I casually entered Lin Qianliu's birthday - fortunately, my memory has always been good, and although Lin Qianliu only mentioned the date once, I remembered it in my heart.
However, unexpectedly, a line of words popped up on the screen -
"wrong password."
If it wasn't Lin Qianliu's birthday, what would the password be? I tried hard to recall every word Lin Qianliu said that might help me find the right password.
The memories of her are crowded in my mind, but I can't remember anything else except the words "I like you".
Lin Qianliu has said these four simple words to me countless times.
I suddenly thought, could the password be my birthday?
Such speculation made my heart stir, and I could feel my fingers trembling slightly as they moved across the screen of the phone.
1221.
The password is correct.
I once heard that if a person uses someone's birthday as a password, then that person must be very important to her.
So, maybe I am very important to Lin Qianliu.
I couldn't help but chuckle, like a child who got a red apple.
Just when I was getting carried away, Lin Qianliu on the ground hummed softly, and I immediately came to my senses, found the cell phone number signed "Dad", and dialed it.
After four or five seconds of waiting , the call was connected.
"Hello, are you Lin Qianliu's father?" I was a little nervous and paused before introducing myself, "I am Luo Qubai, Lin Qianliu's classmate."
"Luo Qubai?" Father Lin seemed to be thinking about something.
"Yeah." I looked down at Lin Qianliu, "Well, Lin Qianliu is drunk, I'm going to take her home, but I don't know your home address."
"Why are you drunk?" Lin's father's voice was full of worry, but he quickly gave his home address.
After hanging up the phone, I put Lin Qianliu's phone into her bag, hung the bag on my arm, and prepared to pick her up.
However, I had never expected that Lin Qianliu, who was still sleeping, was awakened by my actions. Then, like a bad-tempered cat, she immediately pushed me away with her teeth and claws. I stumbled and we both fell to the ground.
I felt pain all over my body, but I ignored it and ran towards Lin Qianliu in a hurry.
"Lin Qianliu, how are you? Did you fall anywhere?"
“Don’t…don’t touch me!”
As soon as I touched her, she pushed me away forcefully.
Then, she squinted her eyes, shook her head and looked at me, and asked in a confused tone: "Who...who are you? What...do you want to do?"
I sighed and replied, "I am Luo Qubai."
"What?" Lin Qianliu frowned and shook his head vigorously. Then he leaned forward as if he wanted to get closer to see my face clearly. "You...you said, you are Luo...Luo...Qu Bai?"
"Yes, it's me." I nodded.
“Haha!” She suddenly laughed out loud, “Luo…Luo Qubai is…not good enough…to do this, you…you are a…liar!”
Lin Qianliu in front of him was both annoying and cute when he was drunk.
We finally reached the roadside after the chase. Although it was already 11pm, there were still a lot of cars speeding by on the road.
Afraid that she would accidentally run into the middle of the road, I frowned and sighed as I stepped forward to hold her back: "I am Luo Qubai. Be good, don't make trouble, I'll take you home."
"Are you really...really...Luo Qubai?" Lin Qianliu, who was hugged by me, grabbed my arms with both hands, raised her head and looked at me seriously. Two or three seconds later, when I was completely unprepared, she suddenly pushed me away and cried, "Luo Qubai, you...you bastard! Wuwu...I...I failed the exam, and you...you just ignored me..."
"No..." Her tears seemed to fall on my heart, bitter and astringent. I couldn't help but step forward and pull her back into my arms.
"Luo...Luo Qubai, you are...just a bastard!" She struggled to push me away, staggering one meter away from me.
She seemed not to have heard my answer just now, and was only concerned with venting her grievances: "I must be crazy to like Luo Qubai, that bastard!"
"Lin Qianliu, be good and stop making trouble..." I went forward and pulled her again.
“You, you are Luo Qubai? You are really Luo Qubai!” This time, she seemed to recognize me, but she pushed me away the next second. The surprise on her face only lasted for a second before it was hastily replaced by anger. I could only hear her crying, “Luo… Qubai, you… don’t touch me! Go away! I don’t want to… don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you, wuwuwu… you bastard!”
The drunk Lin Qianliu's strength was beyond my expectation. I just felt my feet staggering and fell backwards.
No matter how hard I tried to stand firm, I was unable to do so.
Then, with a "bang", I could no longer hear any other sound except her final cry. Even the sound of my own breathing was blocked out.
The world fell into darkness at that moment. Without a single starlight, it was like the end of the world had come, and all sounds were silenced.
I seemed to have a dream. I dreamed of Lin Qianliu, from the first time we met to her solemn promise before the college entrance examination.
In every picture, she is like a ray of sunshine, lighting up my heart. However, after waking up from the dream, when I opened my eyes, Lin Qianliu was not by my side. At that moment, my heart was lost and sad.
My mother was standing by my bed, with tears streaming down her face, expressing her surprise and sadness.
Seeing me wake up, she came over to me and asked in a crying voice, "Xiaobai, how are you? Are you in pain? Where does it hurt?"
I smiled and shook my head. In fact, there was a severe pain spreading in my right foot, but I was only thinking about Lin Qianliu, so I asked, "Where is Lin Qianliu?"
Thinking of the scene before she fell into coma, I was most afraid that she was frightened or could not escape self-blame because of the sudden car accident.
When she heard the name "Lin Qianliu", her mother immediately frowned, her anger clearly on her face, and her choked voice was full of anger : "Why mention her? Hasn't she hurt you enough?"
"I'll go find her."
I frowned unhappily, threw off the quilt and got out of bed, but as soon as my right foot touched the ground, a sharp pain came over me. I couldn't help but groan in pain.
Maybe my expression was too ferocious, my mother rushed over and held me, while nervously asking: "Does it hurt? You just had surgery, you can't move around, why are you so disobedient! That Lin Qianliu, I don't allow you to see her again, she is a jinx! If it weren't for her, your foot wouldn't be like this!"
As the mother spoke, she couldn't help but cover her face and cry.
At that moment I suddenly realized that my foot was disabled.
Afterwards, the doctor came to examine me, and I realized that my right foot would be permanently disabled. I didn't blame Lin Qianliu, it was just an accident, and I only cared about Lin Qianliu's feelings.
So, when I spoke again, I still asked her: "Does Lin Qianliu know?"
When my mother heard my question, she became even more sad and angry, but just as she was about to say something, there was a knock on the door.
Immediately afterwards, Lin Qianliu's father pushed the door open and walked in.
When the mother saw him, she immediately stepped forward and pushed him aggressively: "What are you doing here? Your daughter is a troublemaker. She hurt my son like this. How dare you come to see us?"
"I'm sorry." Lin Qianliu's father kept his head down, full of apology.
"Mom!" I spoke to stop my mother's pestering, and then asked Father Lin, "Uncle, how is Lin Qianliu?"
"I heard that you woke up, so I came to see you." Father Lin actually knelt down and said, "Child, I know we hurt you and we are sorry for you, but please, let Xiao Qian go and don't hold her accountable, okay? She is still so young and has a long life to live, I beg you..."
Seeing Mr. Lin’s haggard appearance, I was silent for a moment and asked, “How is Lin Qianliu now?”
"She hasn't woken up yet." Father Lin looked apologetic. "I'm sorry on behalf of Xiao Qian. She doesn't want to..."
"Don't want to?" The mother couldn't help but pushed Lin's father forward again, "Just because she doesn't want to, should we forgive her? My son will be left with a permanent disability, who will pity him? Our Xiaobai is so outstanding, why should you pay for your daughter's mistakes? Why can you be so shameless? You obviously harmed our Xiaobai, and you still have the audacity to ask for forgiveness!"
"Mom..." I reached out and grabbed my mother who was standing beside the bed, and then said to Father Lin, "Don't worry, Uncle Lin, we won't pursue the matter."
"No!" the mother screamed , "We must investigate!"
"Mom, I—"
"Xiaobai, you are not allowed to make decisions on your own in this matter! You must listen to your mother. I will sue Lin Qianliu for hurting you like this!"
"Mom, I don't want to pursue it, and I don't want to pursue it."
"I said no! The surveillance camera captured it. She was the one who pushed you onto the road. She must be held accountable for this!"
My mother's tough attitude gave me a headache. I looked at Father Lin, took a deep breath, and then said to my mother, "If you insist on pursuing the matter, I will protect her at all costs."
Perhaps she didn't expect me to be so stubborn. She was shocked and speechless for a long time.
In the silence, Jian Sile pushed the door open and his voice floated from the door.
"Auntie, please agree to Qu Bai's request." She walked towards me slowly, her brows slightly furrowed, and her eyes on me were filled with worry. "But, Qu Bai, you also have to promise Auntie to forget about Lin Qianliu, delete all her contact information, and come with us to recuperate abroad."
"Sile..." The mother was probably also struggling with whether to follow Jian Sile's advice or insist on holding Lin Qianliu responsible.
"Mom, if you promise not to pursue the matter, I can do what Sile said ." I don't think Jian Sile is helping me, but I have no choice. To me, Lin Qianliu is the most important.
Finally, the mother thought for a full minute before answering, "Okay."
I breathed a sigh of relief.
Before leaving, I went to see Lin Qianliu outside her ward. I wanted to go in, stand in front of her, and say "goodbye" to her, but I was afraid that she would see me limping.
At this time, she had just woken up from a coma. Through a glass, I heard her conversation with Mr. Lin.
She lost all her memories of the accident, and even the experience of meeting me seemed like a dream.
I was not sad because of Lin Qianliu's forgetfulness. Instead, I felt fortunate, because forgetting was a relief for Lin Qianliu.
If she remembered that she was the one who pushed me out onto the road, she would live in torture every day from then on.
I love her, and I don't want her to live in pain and self-blame.
Unfortunately, my love comes too late and too silently.
Actually, I have not been good at expressing my emotions since I was a child. I don’t like to talk. Because of this, my mother was worried that I might have autism and forced me to receive treatment. However, after the treatment, I still couldn’t change my habit of not talking.
Lin Qianliu didn't know any of this.
As for Jian Sile, we have been neighbors since we were young. We are childhood sweethearts. I treat her like my own sister. Originally, I was so dull that it was impossible for me to talk to Jian Sile. But later, under the pressure of my parents, I had to talk to Jian Sile every day, teach her homework, and play with her.
I never understood love until I met that girl who stuck to me like taffy.
The originally blank world became colorful because of Lin Qianliu's appearance. However, I still didn't know how to express myself. I could only keep a cold face and say offensive words. Fortunately, Lin Qianliu enjoyed it from beginning to end. She didn't mind that I didn't talk much, didn't mind that I ignored her, and always warmed me like a little sun.
By the time I realized that I had fallen in love with Lin Qianliu without realizing it, we were already standing at the first fork in the road in our lives.
I didn't want to affect her studies, and I didn't want Lin Qianliu to neglect her studies just because she liked me, so I asked her to get into the same university as me.
At that time, I was probably selfish. I never thought about Lin Qianliu's wishes and only wanted her to accommodate me.
However, Lin Qianliu didn't mind at all, and even laughed foolishly for the whole day because of my request. I looked at her silly smile, just like being embraced by the sun. She didn't know that from that moment on, I was also fantasizing and looking forward to every day together in the name of love.
If I didn't tell you all this, Lin Qianliu might never know it.
Fortunately, fate was kind enough, and at the end of the story, at this moment, Lin Qianliu was right in front of me, muttering about where to go for a date next while cooking pasta for me. And I was behind her, watching her busy back, reminiscing about the past.
Every frame of memory is enough to savor for a lifetime.