You are like the sea of ​​stars, the warmest light in my life, the most beautiful scenery, and the last place that has not collapsed.
In fact, when Ye Xiang first met Li Ziye, he didn't help him out of a sense of justice. On the contrary, he was annoyed by the girls' yelling and Li Ziye's crying. He just wanted to solve the noise problem, but he didn't expect that Li Ziye would regard him as a benefactor because of this.
Later, he spoke up for justice in the office simply because he couldn't stand the self-righteous behavior of those teachers. Unexpectedly, Li Ziye became like a sticky candy and clung to him. She would always appear in places he would pass by, and occasionally he would find her standing at the door of their class and secretly looking inside.
Ye Xiang knew that he had helped her twice, and she thought he was a good man, so she kept trying to get close to him.
But he knew very well in his heart that he was not a good person at all, and he did not like others to get close to him, and he did not want others to get close to him because they believed he was a good person. So he simply showed her his cold blood, saying that he did not remember her at all, and he was completely indifferent when he saw her being bullied... In fact, when he recalled it later, he was just afraid of getting too close to others at that time. Luo Yun's death was like a hurdle in his life. He spent a lot of effort but still found that he could not cross it.
He doesn't need others to be so nice to him, he really can't afford it. He would rather work hard and live alone.
But Li Ziye didn't seem to be affected by his words at all, he could still feel her gaze from time to time. In fact, she was always very cautious in approaching him, often without saying a word, just looking at him from a distance, or just getting up early to take the first bus with him.
So Ye Xiang didn't find her annoying at all, she was like a quiet shadow, just hiding in the corner and paying attention to his every move, but never disturbing him easily. Sometimes Ye Xiang would find it very interesting, maybe Li Ziye always thought that his "voyeurism" had never been discovered, but in fact he had already seen everything.
Later, when Li Ziye caught him working in a car wash, to be honest, he was a little annoyed. Even though Li Ziye simply wanted to help him, he felt that he was being pitied and pitied. He couldn't accept Li Ziye's pity the most, as he was used to her looking up at him. She might not know that after he left, he picked up the lunch box she sent from the trash can, but the food inside was too dirty to eat, so he had to take it to feed the stray animals nearby.
Although he looked angry on the surface, he still felt warm in his heart.
The reason why he had such a strong self-esteem was also closely related to his family. His life experience had always been the deepest scar in his heart... He was only three years old when Ye's mother left. She only packed a few clothes and left. Before leaving, she cooked a meal for him. The dishes were better than anything he had ever eaten before. He still remembered that he was very happy at that time because he liked all the dishes very much and ate a whole bowl of rice.
When Ye's mother opened the door and went out with her luggage, he called her in a strange voice: "Mom, where are you going?"
Mother Ye didn't say a word, she opened the door and ran out. He didn't know why, but he had a bad feeling in his heart at that time. He almost subconsciously jumped off the chair and stumbled out to chase her. But he was too small to catch up. She didn't even look back even after shouting until her voice was hoarse.
After Ye's mother left, he cried for a whole week... Since then, his personality has become very quiet, and he has also worked very hard. At that time, he naively thought that as long as he was good enough, his mother would come back. However, he received more and more awards, and Ye's mother had no intention of taking him back.
Moreover, after Ye's mother left, Ye's father began to have a habit of drinking, drinking more and more, and no longer working, just wasting his time day by day. He often cried to Ye Xiang and said: "I am useless, you are useless, so we can't keep your mother..."
The more Ye Xiang listened, the colder his heart became... He was really fed up with this kind of life, but he couldn't get relief. So later he told Li Ziye that he didn't want to fall in love, not because he didn't like her, but because he felt that he couldn't give her a good life, and he was afraid that he would drag her down.
He discovered that Li Ziye and he were actually "the same kind" when she was scolded by Grandma Song in the hospital. He could see that she was really trying hard to endure, endure the anger, endure the grievance, tears rolled in her eyes but she had no intention of lowering her head.
He saw in her a loneliness that was very similar to his own.
He was so resistant to her before because he thought that she must be from a wealthy family, and that she was the kind of child who was spoiled by her family, unlike him. But for some reason, when he saw her so lonely, he wanted to let go of his guard and let her get close to him.
In fact, he has never really liked anyone. Luo Yun grew up with him. She was a weak girl from a poor family. She often found various reasons to ask him questions and asked him to tutor her, but he thought she was annoying, so he never gave her a good face. But he didn't expect that Luo Yun would die for him... From then on, these two words became a demon in his heart. He took out part of the money he earned from working to support Luo Yun's younger brother to study, trying to erase the guilt in his heart, but he couldn't erase it.
That's why he got so angry when Li Ziye mentioned Luo Yun, just because he didn't want to think about the fact that someone died because of him, and that feeling of guilt always made him feel suffocated.
However, he did not expect that Li Ziye suddenly disappeared after that day and never came to see him again.
To be honest, he was panicking and felt very uncomfortable, as if there was a little claw scratching his heart.
So in the end, he often appeared in places where she often appeared, and even found an excuse to go to her class, and ended up seeing her and Bai Yuwang "having a hot affair". In an instant, his face turned as dark as the bottom of a pot. Although he didn't want to admit it, he knew that he was probably jealous.
So when Bai Yuwang came to their classroom to pick a fight, he fought him recklessly, and at the same time he hated Li Ziye in his heart... Why did she try so hard to get close to him and then turn around and get so close to other boys? When Li Ziye came to mediate the fight, he said some very vicious words to her.
But maybe what he wanted to say more was: You can continue to pester me like before, and you are not allowed to like other boys!
It was also that day that he realized that his possessiveness was so childish and ridiculous, but his words really hurt Li Ziye. He knew that doing so would only push her further away.
Later, news came out that she was isolated by the whole class after she broke up with Bai Yuwang. Some rumors said that Li Ziye had been refusing to accept Bai Yuwang because he liked Ye Xiang, and now he was asking for trouble... For some reason, his first reaction to hearing this news was happiness.
He was finally sure that the person Li Ziye liked was not Bai Yuwang, and that everything was just Bai Yuwang's wishful thinking. So he went to find Li Ziye, and continued to let her be his little shadow under the pretext of "strategic alliance". Although he was still as arrogant as ever, sometimes he couldn't help but show his gentle side in front of her, and even when he called her stupid, he showed a kind of intimacy... His patience was definitely not reserved for everyone. When Luo Yun asked him for help with homework, he only wrote an answer for her. If she asked about the process of solving the problem again, he would feel abnormally irritated.
But for some reason, he didn't feel annoyed at all when he was with Li Ziye.
He never told Li Ziye that he liked her, nor did he make any promises to her. He knew that he didn't have the ability to do so. He had to earn his tuition by himself, and if he couldn't, he might have to drop out of school. Ye's father was drinking more and more, and he not only had to take care of him, but also had to pay for his medical expenses. With such a broken family, he didn't dare to make any promises to Li Ziye.
Later, he met Xia Ke'en when he was driving for Luo's father. She was spoiled and had a big temper, so he always disliked her. But he didn't expect that Xia Ke'en would become more interested in him because of his indifference, and finally made Luo's father beg him to be with her.
He had refused outright, because if he agreed, it would be a disaster for Li Ziye. He didn't want to hurt her, not even a little bit. But he didn't expect that Father Song would come to him at this time.
When he met Song's father, he was so sick that he could only speak weakly, but he insisted on leaving the hospital secretly to talk to Ye Xiang. Because he didn't have much time to protect Li Ziye, he could only try his best to clear the obstacles on her growth path. He hoped that she would be able to take care of herself.
He used his dying identity to ask him not to affect Li Ziye, hoping that Li Ziye would study hard. Father Song said that his family was too complicated and he didn't want Li Ziye to be dragged down by him in the future. Father Song was not the kind of person who was overbearing, and his way of speaking was also very tactful, but it still opened a hole in his heart. He also knew that he could not refute Father Song at all, so he could only agree.
There was really no way he could refuse the plea of ​​a dying man.
He had no choice. On one hand, there was Song's father's pleading, and on the other hand, he owed Luo Yun a life debt, so in the end he could only agree to Xia Ke'en's request. Later, he told Li Ziye in person that Xia Ke'en was his girlfriend. He could not forget Li Ziye's frustrated and desperate look, but he knew that it would be better to break up with her cleanly than to drag it out. It was enough to hurt once, and he didn't want to waste her time.
Later, Li Ziye came to him drunk, and he really wanted to hold her in his arms, but Dad Ye was still drunk at home, smashing the dishes all over the floor, and even waving a fruit knife around several times. In the end, he could only choose to push Li Ziye out of the door and continue to confront Dad.
Then he called the class teacher and asked her to notify Li Ziye's class teacher to finally contact Song's mother. Seeing Li Ziye's complete loss of fighting spirit and decadence, he really felt that he could not forgive himself.
Later, Li Ziye said goodbye to him solemnly and said that she would never like him again.
At that moment, he really wanted to take out his heart and let Li Ziye see it, but he couldn't even say a word to keep him.
She resolutely turned away from him time and time again, and every time he felt that he was going to lose her completely. He had always wanted to get through this period of time... As long as he could get through it, one day, when he had the ability to take care of himself and let Li Ziye live a better life, he would confess his love to her and try his best to ask for her forgiveness... But perhaps, she would never forgive him again.
Later, Xia Ke'en got tired of the dull relationship between the two and chose to break up. At that time, he also thought about looking for Li Ziye, but he finally held back. At that time, it was even a question whether he could go to college. Fortunately, the school promised that if he could get the first place in the city, it would cover all his college expenses, so later he had the courage to look for Li Ziye again.
But Li Ziye didn't show up, and he didn't come to look for him afterwards. He waited by the playground for a whole day, from sunrise to sunset, and he seemed to hear the sound of the blood in his body gradually cooling down. He didn't even remember how he left that place, but he knew that Li Ziye might never forgive him again.
But he didn't want to let go so easily, he wanted to come back to her when he became a better person, and by that time he would be her little shadow, and she wouldn't be able to get rid of him even if she wanted to.
After entering university, he worked like crazy and was always the top student in his grade. He was always among the scholarship winners every year. After graduation, he got into a very good company as he wished, and during his internship, he got a high salary that was far beyond the reach of his classmates in the same major. He became a legend in his university.
He paid the down payment for a house and bought a car. Father Ye had a stroke and almost died. Although he was discharged from the hospital safely, his legs were no longer as flexible as before. Because of this, he stopped drinking, started exercising, and took up some hobbies that were good for his body.
His life started to get better.
At this time, he received news about the school anniversary. In fact, he was not sure whether she would go, but he wanted to take a gamble. Even if she didn't go, he could find her by asking others about her.
This time, he would never let go of her hand. She had been hurt so much, and he wanted to compensate her completely.
But perhaps Ye Xiang would never know that she never cared about what he could give her, and that what he owed her might just be the "I love you" that he had never said.
But Ye Xiang never had the chance to say this sentence. The words "I love you" were eventually buried deep underground with him, becoming a regret that could never be resolved.
He will never have the chance to tell Li Ziye how beautiful she is to him. She is like the sea of ​​stars, the most beautiful scenery , the warmest light, and the last place that has not collapsed yet.