Extra: A Glance for a Thousand Years two
I have used up all my courage and finally accepted the fact that you don't love me.
——Hanako Yin
Later, it became my unshakable habit to express a bowl of longevity noodles, two peony flowers, a white withered flower sachet and a birthday card to her on her birthday every year.
I told myself that there was no special meaning in what I did. I just hoped that she would no longer cry alone on her birthday every year because she couldn't eat longevity noodles.
However, I knew clearly in my heart that things were far from that simple. Otherwise, I would not always pay attention to her every move and smile, and I would not study hard and always maintain the top grade in the grade.
I naively thought that if I put her first and she second, maybe one day she would notice me.
Unfortunately, her eyes seem unable to accommodate any irrelevant people or things.
But I am not sad about this. What does it matter whether she knows who is accompanying her? As long as she knows that there is always someone accompanying her in this world, as long as she knows that she is not alone in this world, it will be fine!
Perhaps the days when someone lives in your heart are always beautiful, and beautiful times always pass quickly. Two years have passed in the blink of an eye. I have long been accustomed to paying attention to her every bit as a stranger, without expecting anything in return, but on her birthday in the third year, I received a note from her.
That day, the sky was clear and the wind was light. I went to the delivery point near her home with a bowl of longevity noodles and two peony flowers as usual. Perhaps because no one else had delivered longevity noodles except me, the delivery guy recognized me at first sight. He excitedly rummaged through the drawer and finally handed the note to me.
I stood there in a daze, holding the folded note tightly in my hand.
The delivery boy quickly explained: "It was given to you by that girl, the girl you delivered longevity noodles to! This note was given to you when I delivered longevity noodles to her last year. She asked me to give it to you when you come to deliver longevity noodles again. It has been with me for a year..."
At that time, the sun was shining brightly, and the courier was talking, but I couldn't hear a word he said. At that moment, it seemed as if all the people, objects, and street scenes in front of me had become the background, and my mind was filled with that face with the corners of his mouth slightly raised and trying to smile .
Dear Xihe, how could I not know that was the note you left for me?
I was just too happy, and a little nervous. I was happy because you finally noticed my existence, and I was nervous because I was afraid that the note would contain your rejection.
If you wrote in a note " Please don't send me longevity noodles anymore", what should I do? What should I do if the only connection between you and me is gone?
The feeling of fear came over me at that moment.
Because I cared too much, I became the most timid coward in the world.
I held the note tightly in my hand, not daring to open it, and ran all the way to the place where our story began. Under the golden sunlight, the white peony was in full bloom, just like your clean and beautiful smile.
I took a deep breath and slowly opened the note. Thank God, what you wrote on the note was: "Thank you, Mr. Longevity Noodles."
At that time, the wind blew, the air was full of the fragrance of flowers, the sun seemed to become warmer, and even the noise on the street turned into beautiful music.
"Mr. Longevity Noodles, Mr. Longevity Noodles..." I gently recited the unfamiliar name that you gave me. I felt it was both intimate and pleasant, and I could no longer hide my smile.
Later, I often thought, if the story only stopped here, could I be your longevity noodle master for the rest of my life? Not Hua Ziyin, but just your longevity noodle master. Even if you don’t know who I am or what I look like, that would be happiness, right?
Unfortunately, I was so secretly in love with you that I was like a demon, and my heart secretly grew a persistent greed. Therefore, our story finally developed in an uncontrollable direction.
Because of greed, I want you to know that I am not only Mr. Changshou Noodles, I am also Hua Ziyin. I am no longer satisfied with just silently watching your every move, I want to walk side by side with you in the bright sunshine.
So, that year, when I knew that you wanted to qualify for the competition and go to City Z to celebrate your birthday with your mother, as if possessed by a magic spell, I walked under your umbrella and looked at you with a smile.
At that time, I wanted to say to you: "Xihe, I will give up that spot."
Unfortunately, at that time, you stared at me coldly and said, "You're crazy."
I stood there in a daze, the rain dripping into my collar, making it cold.
It turns out that you don’t like me. You don’t like me as Hua Ziyin.
I don't blame you because you don't know that I am your longevity noodles man. I only blame myself and the identity of Hua Ziyin that you don't like.
I know that you don't like me as Hua Ziyin because I have a nickname called "Butterfly". I got angry with myself and said, "Yes, I am sick!" as if I was angry with myself, and then turned around and left stubbornly.
I started to regret not long after I walked out. When I couldn't help but turn around, there was no trace of you in the rain.
Standing blankly in the heavy rain, my heart ached deeply.
Finally I am willing to accept the fact that you don't like me.
Song Xihe doesn't like Hua Ziyin.
