Extra 4. Standing by You
When I was pushed into this dim little room, I was so frightened and almost cried.
Although Daddy was always cold and cruel to me, and would only be intimate with me when he wanted to drink - so that he could take the small change I earned as a maid, I really never expected that he would be so cruel as to sell his own daughter to a brothel?! I cried and pulled Daddy's trouser legs, begging him not to sell me. I was willing to work as a maid day and night to earn money to buy him wine, and I was willing to take any tiring work, just begging him not to sell me... But even if I cried until my voice was hoarse, it was useless, Daddy grabbed my hand and printed that blood-red mark on the indenture...
I hugged my shoulders, choking and shivering as I squatted down with the other girls who had just been bought in. The small shed was filled with dust, dancing desolately under the few rays of sunlight. Everyone was in a mess, with fear and helplessness in everyone's eyes, and I was no exception. There was only one girl who didn't cry or squeeze in with us. She sat alone with her knees hugged against the other wall. She was dressed strangely and had an even stranger hairstyle. Her eyes were lazy and bright in the dark, looking at us with a little curiosity and inquiry. Looking at her calm eyes, I don't know why, I suddenly didn't want to cry. What's the point of crying? I wiped my tears and sat down with my knees hugged. The girl looked at me with a little admiration in her eyes, but still didn't say anything.
Later, when the two servants who came to deliver food were touching us, she sat silently in the corner hugging her knees. A girl was dragged aside by one of the servants while crying. When the other man reached out to grab me and pressed me to the ground, I was completely desperate. I thought that I would have to live like this every day from now on. I might as well die! With this thought, I made up my mind, closed my eyes and tried to bite my tongue, but the servant grabbed my mouth and said, "How dare you! Do you want to commit suicide?!"
"That's right, you actually want to commit suicide?" Another voice sounded beside my ear. The servant and I turned around at the same time, but saw the girl squatting beside us with an innocent face, looking at me strangely.
The servant was startled! Just as he was about to react, the girl kicked him out! Then she pulled me up without blushing and said, "Since you don't want to die, you should kill him. Why kill yourself instead?"
I was wondering how to answer, and she looked at the couple struggling on the ground and said loudly: "If it was a martial arts master who couldn't beat them, it would be fine, but these two beasts are just ordinary servants, with the same two arms and two legs, how can they not kill him!" As soon as the voice fell, the man on the ground screamed and covered his bleeding ears and rolled to the side. The girl who was pinned by him struggled to get up, wiped the blood foam from the corner of her mouth fiercely, and looked at us with a firm face...
"This is the first time I met Minmin. The girl who bit the servant's ear was Qingqing." I turned on the light in the study and concluded softly. The Fourth Prince sat at the desk with a gentle expression and even a hint of smile. Every time he listened to me describe Minmin, he always had such a relaxed expression and fell into deep thought from time to time, as if immersed in another world.
"What happened next?" He suddenly turned to me and asked, his slightly raised eyes carrying a strange charm in the swaying light. I suddenly felt a palpitation inexplicably and my face was burning. I hurriedly turned my back to tidy up the scattered books on the shelf as a cover-up.
"Later, later... later, Minmin beat the two servants up! At the end, she grabbed their collars and threatened them, 'You fell off the bed because you were sleepy and got hit by your shoes, do you know that?' The two servants didn't dare to refute her and could only nod their heads repeatedly." I smiled.
The Fourth Prince had already laughed out loud, muttering, "By the shoes... she actually thought of that..."
I stood there holding onto the bookshelf, watching His Highness smile happily, a smile that even the wives and concubines rarely see. I was the only one who could see his smile like that, and I thought, a little pride grew in my heart... But his smile was because of Minmin, and I thought, I couldn't tell what I was feeling for a moment...
I am just a commoner of the lowest class, with little knowledge and no experience of the world. But His Highness is a noble royal family that we cannot see even if we look up. He is above everyone else, under the feet of the gods, and the center of everything. It is a world that I know nothing about, and it is disturbing, full of fatal attraction, gorgeous and magical, amazing. I have never understood why Minmin can be so calm and unmoved? Perhaps it is because of this that everyone feels that they can neither catch nor let go of her...
At that time, Minmin was sent to the Luowang Mansion. I didn't have anyone I knew around me. In the huge mansion of the Fourth Prince, I was only afraid. I didn't dare to move casually, for fear of violating the royal rules. I was nervous at every step , not daring to make any mistakes. After more than ten days, the Fourth Prince seemed to have completely forgotten my existence, and I was a little relieved. The weather was very good that day. At noon, the concubines all went to bed. I found a quiet pavilion to sit, and while helping Minmin sew, I hummed a little tune she taught Qingqing:
As natural as breathing
No conversion required
So we met in this season
It's no accident
Like a migratory bird flying across the land
Across the Ocean
It turns out that all the plots are carefully recalled
It's all a call
Touching stories and books I've read
Places passed by
The friends I met and the distant places I miss
The tears that flowed
Listen! Who is singing?
Or is it the hope in your heart?
Listen! Who is singing?
it's me……
Who to call
Listen! Who is singing?
Or is it the hope in your heart?
Listen! Who is singing?
it's me……
Who to call
Like a migratory bird flying across the land
Across the Ocean
I was humming with great enthusiasm when I looked up and found a person standing in front of me! He was wearing a dark purple robe with gold threads, black boots with thousand-layer soles, a beautiful jade on his waist, and a meticulously crafted hair crown. Who else could this person be but the Fourth Prince?! I was so scared that my hands trembled and all my sewing fell to the ground! I even forgot to stand up and salute, and sat there in a daze, panicked...
His Highness bent down, picked up the needle and thread, and handed it to me, saying in a deep voice: "I've never heard of this song before, but was it taught by Minmin?"
I finally came to my senses, and hurriedly knelt down to perform the full ceremony, and said in a trembling voice: "Your Highness, this little tune was indeed taught to me by Minmin in the past."
His Highness seemed to be very dissatisfied with my submissive attitude. He lifted up his skirt and sat aside, saying calmly: "Stand up and talk."
I dared to stand up straight, holding on to the pavilion pillar, and bowed my head deeply . The two of them were silent for a while.
After a long while, His Highness suddenly pointed at the needlework he had just done and asked, "What is this? It's in a weird shape."
"Your Highness, it was Minmin who drew the picture and asked me to sew the apron for you."
"apron?"
"Replying to the Fourth Prince, Minmin said that when she was cooking, she surrounded herself with this thing that was beautiful, clean, and... well, cute... I don't understand what it means..."
Upon hearing this, the Fourth Prince picked up the unfinished item and looked at it carefully again. As if he remembered something, he shook his head and chuckled, "She has so many clever ideas..."
However, I was stunned by this nonchalant smile. I heard from people in the palace that His Highness was busy with official business, had a cold personality, and was extremely strict with the people in the palace. Even my wife had rarely seen him smile. So, could I be considered lucky at this moment?
After that day, someone came to tell me to go to the study to serve.
The work in the study is actually very leisurely. There are only a few things to do, such as serving tea, pouring water, grinding ink, and holding pens. However, because I am the personal servant of the Fourth Prince, and the study is also the place where the Prince meets various dignitaries, I have been trembling with fear and anxiety for a few days. Fortunately, although the Prince is strict, he is not harsh, and his attitude towards me can be regarded as gentle and caring.
Only when I really served him did I realize that the royal family was not a place that ordinary people could wade through. I stood beside the Fourth Prince, watching him plan and direct his affairs, watching him be impartial, watching him be chivalrous and kind-hearted, watching him struggle in the evil currents of officialdom but not follow the crowd, watching him talk and laugh among the various forces, big and small, and handling the myriad of things with ease... When did I get so used to looking at him silently with respectful eyes? When did I start to fear that one day I would no longer be qualified to stand by his side? When did I start to learn to use Minmin's affairs to attract his attention? Minmin, you once taught me to be strong and unyielding, but now, have I become pathetic?
On the night of the banquet at Prince Luo's Mansion, His Highness came back drunk, sat in the study with a pale face, and didn't even allow the lights to be turned on. I couldn't help but panic, and asked the accompanying servant, only then did I know how Minmin was bullied at the banquet, how she stunned the audience with her beauty, and how she was seriously ill and fainted... I felt even more distressed, on the one hand for Minmin, and on the other hand, for His Highness. That night, His Highness was drunk and unconscious, but he didn't do anything crazy, causing him to ask the heavens, the earth, and himself over and over again, "Is it worth it?... Is it worth it... Is it really worth it?" Later, His Highness grabbed me who was feeding him sobering tea, and said as if it was an order, or as if he was acting coquettishly: "Sing the little song from the pavilion that day again... I want to hear it..."
"Your servant...Your servant obeys your command." I took two steps back and sat on the window sill, singing the slightly sad but broad-minded song over and over again... Until the end, His Highness took two steps forward with misty eyes, took my hand and whispered: "Minmin, you are so beautiful...You are mine, mine..."
His Highness held my shoulders and fell asleep, but I was cold all over, sitting stiffly at the window, unable to move at all, with only tears rolling down my cheeks... I couldn't stop them...
After that day, the two of them never talked about their drunken behavior. Your Highness may not remember it, but I just want to keep it as a lifelong secret, treasured in a place that no one else can touch, sweet and cruel...
The Sixth Prince rebelled, and His Highness had been looking uncertain. In recent days, the number of officials who came to the study to ask for instructions had increased abnormally. Everyone looked nervous and panicked, and even I could smell the breath of a big change. Leading the troops south, His Highness had been busy with official business and was nervous. No one expected that Minmin would appear at this time.
More lively than anyone else, happier than anyone else, more refreshing and smart than anyone else! Even a woman like me can't help but feel sorry for her, pamper her, and unconsciously take the initiative to get close to her, let alone the Fourth Prince?
"Okay," Prince Luo stared at His Highness and said in a deep voice, "But it's inconvenient to bother you here. Why don't you take Miss Xiaotao to my place so that I can reminisce with Minmin?"
"...Xiao Tao has been very weak recently. It might not be good for her to go back and forth. Min Min has already come here, so why bother everyone to go back again?"
You lied without blinking, and I knew very well that you just wanted to keep her, even if only for a moment.
Upon learning that Luo Wang's convoy was attacked and Minmin fell off a cliff, her life or death unknown, my heart ached so much that it almost jumped out of my chest, and you were so angry that you even threw the documents on the ground! There has been no news from the insider Yang Guard, and we all know that this time it is really dangerous! You are busy with military affairs, and your evil spirit is getting worse. No one except me dares to serve you personally. I am also worried about Minmin, but at this moment, I sadly discovered that I am more worried about you... What about my hatred for you? What about my fear of you? Why am I standing beside you, watching your increasingly haggard figure, I just want to do my best for you, although I am not as good as Minmin, even if you only find such a vague shadow from me, I am willing to give everything I have to make you feel more at ease...
Minmin trespassed into the military camp, and she should be executed according to military orders! But at this moment, who cares? Seeing her standing in front of me alive and kicking, even though she is darker and thinner... I am so happy that I almost cry! You must be happier than me, right? It's a pity that Minmin doesn't understand your feelings at all, and even hates you because of me... Should I be happy or sad?
"Minmin, don't remember these things anymore. His Highness is actually a good person, and he takes good care of me... His Highness is a man who can do big things, so naturally he has some means..." Why should I say all this to Minmin?
“…There are many times in this world where things are not as simple and straightforward as you think. You don’t have to hate someone who hurts you. The person you hate the most may also be the one you care about the most. People are made of flesh and blood and can be moved…More often than not, you tend to hurt the person you least want to hurt…Do you understand?” In fact, even I don’t understand it. Maybe this is what I’m thinking?
Minmin wanted to leave for Changle. While the Fourth Prince was in Xitai City to meet the Sixth Prince, she asked someone to secretly send a message to me in the military camp. Looking at the escape plan she had carefully prepared for me on paper, I suddenly felt that time was out of sync. How could Minmin know that I, the hostage, was already unwilling to leave? Covering the letter with a long sigh, I didn't even have any inner struggle before deciding to stay by His Highness' side for the rest of my life. Am I too heartless or too devoted?
"You are staying by the side of His Majesty the Fourth Prince voluntarily. Minmin, please do not be constrained by this."
"Did you really say that to her?!" His Highness' eyes were red! He held my shoulders with such force! I had never seen him so angry! My shoulders were burning with pain, but my heart was surprisingly calm.
"Your Highness, that's exactly what I said - and it's what I really think." For the first time, I raised my head without fear and met His Highness's gaze!
His Highness seemed to be startled by my extraordinary behavior, and finally sighed and left...
I stood beside the military tent, silently watching the Fourth Prince lead his troops to the clinic in Xitai City... Yes, without me as a hostage, what bargaining chips do you have to keep Minmin?
I sighed, Your Highness, you don't understand after all, to keep a person's heart, you have to exchange it with your heart. Although Minmin is smart, she has no experience in emotional matters and is extremely slow. If you don't say it clearly, she will never understand. And with your personality, how can you say it directly? And I will never tell you this...Minmin, have I become a bad person?
