"Later, I had new anxieties every day, such as being over 30 and unable to stand on my own feet, still an idle hooligan. When I closed my eyes, I couldn't count my past achievements, nor could I see any future prospects."

"I often fantasize that I will become rich overnight this year or next year, or that everything around me is just a dream, and when I wake up, I am still the poor boy of 16 or 17 years old. In short, there may be many things in reality that are not satisfactory."

"But anxiety is also a kind of busyness at the moment, which is better than doing nothing. Because of all the anxiety now, I only think of those things when I can't sleep in the dead of night - such as the boy next to me carelessly putting the girl's letter in the draft paper, such as the bad boy with a blurred face blocking the way home late at night, and the empty iron box, the machete... These things seem to be stuck between my 'consciousness' and 'subconsciousness'. I often feel that I have forgotten them, but they are always stuck in my throat."

At this time, Dou Xun heard the door open, and hurriedly threw the printed booklet in his hand aside and went to the door to meet someone.

The booklet was typed on A4 paper and was titled "Dirty Ascetic" and the author was Cai Jing. Taking advantage of the city's peak tourist season in autumn, my grandfather's flower shop became popular, and Cai Jing's self-funded book of made-up stories also gained some popularity. Soon a bookseller approached him and wanted to publish this semi-autobiographical new book.

Before submitting the manuscript, Cai Jing typed a copy for revision and proofreading, and Dou Xun borrowed it to read in advance.

At this point, Dou Xun, as an outsider, vaguely understood the ins and outs of Cai Jing's murder from the obscure words.

He took the pile of daily necessities that Xu Xilin bought from the supermarket and asked, "Where did you place your father and the others?"

Xu Xilin: "The Sheraton in the west."

For some reason, Zheng Shuo took his whole family back to China for a trip. He later married a foreign woman and had a mixed-race girl. The girl was a beauty, but she chattered all the time, giving Xu Xilin a headache.

He took advantage of Dou Xun's hand being occupied by something and did something naughty. He suddenly put his cold claws into Dou Xun's collar and said, "Warm your husband's hand."

Dou Xun decided to confront him today and threw the half-sorted supermarket plastic bag onto the table.

Xu Xilin realized something was wrong, and when he saw the cigarette, he rolled it up and shouted, "My lord, I was wrong!"

Unfortunately, he didn't have time to retreat as Dou Xun grabbed him around the waist and pressed him down on the sofa.

Dou Xun put a knee on his side and pressed his hands with his elbow: "Which one do you want me to use to cover your hands?"

Xu Xilin: “…”

Dou Xun sneered: "What? You want to apply for a card again?"

Xu Xilin, who was quite lively when he was young, had long ago exchanged his love for "playing ball" for "watching ball", and gradually became an urbanite who loved to lie at home in his spare time. The biggest activity he usually engaged in was playing golf - the basic steps were to shovel a shovel of poop first, and then stroll to the next poop-shoveling location with a group of uncles and grandfathers who were tall, tall, and short-stepped. When the sun was high, they had to take a car, and they could only stroll about 10,000 steps a day at most. Even so, they would still cry when they got home.

On the contrary, Dou Xun, who was relatively quiet when he was young, is a very persistent person. He will keep the habits he has developed and will always like the things he likes. He was once blocked by gangsters at the door of Yuebanwan, and by chance he started training in the boxing gym. He has persisted in it for so many years, and to this day, he still has two sets of Taoist uniforms hanging in his bedroom.

There is no place for his kung fu to be used, and highway robbery is not so easy to come by, so Dou Xun used all his skills to bully Xu Xilin.

Every time Xu Xilin gritted his teeth and prepared for "revenge", he would go out to get a gym membership the next day. Unfortunately, mediocre people often set high goals, and on average he could only go once for each membership - later he gave it to Dou Xun as a bookmark.

Xu Xilin: "Dr. Dou, people should rely on friendly negotiation, or in other words, reasoning to solve problems. It is extremely barbaric to resort to violence at every turn."

Dou Xun nodded in agreement: "You have a point, but when have I ever resorted to violence against you? I have always resorted to physical violence."

Xu Xilin thought about it, but accidentally lost his mind and a thin layer of red appeared on his ears.

He was speechless for a moment, and then his wandering gaze triggered a chain reaction - Dou Xun unfortunately followed his wrong thoughts.

The grey parrot beside him echoed: "Appeal to the flesh!"

Xu Xilin: "Get lost!"

Dou Xun: "Get lost!"

The grey parrot cried out in great grievance.

When strange noises came from the next bedroom, the parrot often hummed "Gong Xi Fa Cai" to give itself courage - although with its brain capacity it no longer remembered why it sang this song, it could not change the habit.

At this moment, the grey parrot looked at the postures of the two people, and suddenly an idea came to his mind, and he said, "Congratulations..."

Dou Xun got off Xu Xilin awkwardly: "I will stew it sooner or later!"

Xu Xilin couldn't help laughing.

Dou Xun patted him on the belly and suddenly asked without warning: "By the way, has Luo Bing ever written you a love letter?"

Xu Xilin was laughing halfway when he was unexpectedly interrogated. His breath was stuck in his throat and he coughed violently.

"What's the connection... Luo Bing?" He struggled to get up, "Didn't you give the red envelope that Luo Bing gave when he got married?"

Dou Xun: "I mean, did you write it in high school?"

Xu Xilin raised his eyebrows, rubbed his chin with his hand, put his elbow on his raised knee, and said: "There is a reinforced platoon of girls who have written love letters to such a handsome boy like me. Who remembers it?"

Dou Xun didn't know if he was talking about something else, but considering that he had lost all his memories, he might have forgotten his youth. He asked unhappily, "What can you remember?"

Xu Xilin said without hesitation: "You."

Dou Xun was stuck for a moment, stumbling over "I" once and "you" twice, and in the end he couldn't form a complete sentence. He felt so embarrassed that his heart was on fire, and the flames gathered into a ball in his chest, burning his heart, liver, spleen and stomach.

Xu Xilin is such a disaster!

Fortunately, a phone call came at this time and saved Dr. Dou, who was blushing.

Zheng Shuo called to thank Xu Xilin.

Dou Xun was sorting out the supermarket bags he had just thrown aside when he heard Xu Xilin politely say, "Well... we'll go there tomorrow morning. If you want to come along, I'll pick you up then... No, no trouble, thank you."

The next day was the anniversary of Ms. Xu Jin's death.

More than a year ago, Dou Xun secretly took a taxi and followed Xu Xilin into the cemetery to visit his grandmother awkwardly.

Now, he could finally sit in the passenger seat of Xu Xilin's car openly, buy flowers when he parked the car, and entertain Zheng Shuo's family on his behalf.

Zheng Shuo was much more particular than Dou Junliang. He changed his clothes specially when he came to the cemetery. He was very polite to Dou Xun and bought a flower basket himself: "It's just a token of my appreciation."

The mixed-race little girl couldn't speak Chinese very well. She was hanging in her mother's hands and spinning in circles, looking curiously at the chrysanthemums that were emitting cool steam.

Zheng Shuo raised the flower basket a little higher to prevent her from grabbing it: "Have you ever thought about how you will live without children in the future?"

"Brother Song said that if he has another child in the future, he will let us raise it. My sister-in-law didn't say anything, but Xu Xilin didn't agree." Dou Xun led Zheng Shuo and the others to the cemetery. "How can other people's children be so easy to raise?"

In fact, Xu Xilin’s original words were, “Having a cat and a bird at home is enough for me, and if there’s a naughty child, I won’t be able to live anymore.”

"Besides, times have changed. The old family-style life will be hard to reproduce." Dou Xun looked back at the little girl led by the foreign woman and smiled at her. "When children grow up, they will always leave on their own. At that time, the two of you will be left staring at each other. The result will be the same with or without children. The difference is the process. But even if two people can't do this together, it's not that there is nothing else to do, don't you think?"

Zheng Shuo was actually a little speechless.

The five people stayed in front of Xu Jin's tomb for a while, standing side by side, which was very incongruous. Zheng Shuo wanted to speak several times, but in the end he didn't know what to say - he couldn't even say anything when Xu Jin was alive, let alone that he had been dead for so many years. In the end, he just put a bouquet of flowers and bowed to the grandmother, saying goodbye and leaving.

Looking at the backs of the family of three, Xu Xilin suddenly remembered: "Do I have a sister who may grow up to be a great beauty in the future... or is she my biological sister?"

It's not his fault that he was slow to react, but it's hard for him to put Zheng Shuo into the role of his family. In his eyes, his daughters are just like "children of acquaintances", and it always takes him a long time to realize the blood relationship.

Dou Xun wiped Xu Jin's tombstone without saying a word, half-knelt on the ground, sprayed some water on the two baskets of flowers, and asked him: "Anything else to say?"

Xu Xilin shook his head silently. The hearts of the living are too full, so there is no need to complain to the dead.

Dou Xun naturally took his hand and said, "Auntie, let's go."

Xu Xilin's feet were nailed to the ground, refusing to move.

Dou Xun first looked back at him in confusion, and then after a moment, he inexplicably understood his expression.

Dou Xun turned around again and said again seriously: "Mom, we are leaving."

The photo of Xu Jin on the tombstone smiled at him meaningfully.