Ending song
The loneliest thing is wanting to stay but not being able to.
I haven't finished talking about tenderness.
Only the farewell song remains.
I didn't go to Lin Chujian's funeral.
I sat in front of Lover's Lake for a long time, my mind was always blank. I tried hard to think about my past with him, but I couldn't remember.
Really, I can’t remember.
Xu Yaxin came, she slapped me, and when I didn't react, she changed her hand and slapped me on the other side of my face. I looked up at her woodenly, and found it a little ridiculous that the person who was hit didn't cry, but the one who hit him cried so miserably.
She asked me, "Li Ge, do you feel very pitiful? Do you feel that the whole world has let you down? Am I more pitiful than me? The person I have loved since childhood told me that he was just using me, and he loved you. The person who has always been with me protected you with his own life and saved you! Am I not more pitiful than you?"
"Li Ge, are you going to keep going like this and make the people around you feel bad for you?"
I looked at her and rolled my eyes.
"I'm leaving and going to America. No one will beat you anymore. No one will argue with you or fight with you. It's just that I owe Lin Chujian. I hope you... I hate you, but I hope you get better."
It was so ridiculous that Xu Yaxin left just like that. It was like I had been arguing with her for a lifetime, but in the end it was all meaningless.
Yi Tian walked over and sat down next to me, putting my head on her shoulder.
The tears that had been pent up for a long time finally flowed down, and I hugged her and cried for the whole afternoon.
I buried the three words "Lin Chujian" deep in my heart . It was like a file, moving back and forth on my heart all the time. Even though it hurt, even though it was heartbreaking, I was unwilling to pull it out.
I understand that this time, I really can never find him again.
Later, I finally stopped crying and said, "We're graduating tomorrow, how about we take a photo together in our graduation gowns?"
She said, "I will accompany you no matter what you do."
"That's what you said. Don't feel tired while walking tomorrow." I moved the corners of my mouth, wanting to laugh, but no laugh came out.
"Absolutely not."
Graduation is an end, but it can also be said to be a beginning.
I wore my bachelor's gown and held Yi Tian's hand as we walked along all the roads that Lin Chujian and I had memories of. Every time we passed a section, I would tell Yi Tian about my past experiences here.
There were laughter, tears, and no one wanted it to end.
My beloved boy, you left, have you ever asked me what I should do?
Finally, I returned to Lover's Lake and sat on the bench where I had sat all night in despair. I said to Yi Tian, how lucky I am to have met two such people in more than 20 years, one who gave me love and the other who gave me companionship.
As I whispered, many images flashed through my mind.
On the first day of college, Yi Tian and I walked hand in hand on the campus, with headphones on our ears, sharing the same song.
There were countless moments when we watched the sunlight falling through the gaps in the camphor trees on the playground. I leaned on her thighs and looked at her eyes, which were so shining.
I saw Li Qiuyang and Lu Yan. They had handsome faces, their white shirts flying, and their smiles were clean and bright, just like the sunshine in May every year.
I also saw myself. I saw the fearless Li Ge. I saw her running, as if chasing something. The sunlight hit my hair, lengthening my shadow as I ran farther away.
Finally I saw Lin Chujian, his eyes were warm and gentle, his voice was clear and gentle.
I saw myself running towards him, the fearless Li Ge walking towards Lin Chujian. The sunlight was shining on them, it was as romantic and magical as a painting.
"Li Ge, Li Ge, let's not say goodbye." the voice said to me.
I slowly closed my eyes.
"Well, let's not say goodbye."
