I was so excited that I lay on the front desk, wishing I could get close to this person's face: "Chen Fengjiao, do you remember? Chen Fengjiao, Erdong Chen, Feng as in Fenghuang, Jiao as in Jiao'e!"
"Chen Fengjiao?" She said word by word, thinking thoughtfully, "This name sounds so familiar! Xiaorui, Mr. Xing's wife is called Fengjiao, right?"
I looked down in disappointment. Mr. Xing's wife was probably just someone with the same name. Before I could hear how Xiao Rui answered, a child's clear voice rang out behind me: "Mom?"
The one called Xiao Rui said that Mr. Xing's wife used to work in the hotel, but she quit her job when she got pregnant. I thanked Xiao Rui and told her that Mr. Xing's wife was probably not the one I was looking for. Xiao Rui smiled and was about to say something to me, but her eyes passed me and greeted the person behind me: "Sister Chen, are you here to have lunch with Mr. Xing?"
I turned around silently and looked at Gu Yue. There was no expression on his face. I reached out to pull his sleeve and said, "I'm sorry, Gu Yue, we may have made this trip in vain." The door of the lobby was pushed open. A gust of wind cooled my blood. I couldn't see my mother anymore.
A big hand pressed down on my head. I looked up and saw Gu Yue comforting me: "It's okay, just think of it as a spontaneous trip!"
I burst out laughing. This is not a trip that you can go on at any time, it is clearly an escape that you can go on at any time.
"Mom? Mom!" The child's mother didn't respond to her for a long time and she became impatient.
"Yuanyuan?" The child's mother spoke timidly and with disbelief.
I froze. The voice became louder, as if confirming something: "Yuanyuan, is that you?"
"Xing Le! Come to Daddy!" A man came out of the elevator and shouted to the child. The little girl shouted "Dad" crisply and ran over with laughter. The man held the child and quickly came to the woman: "What's wrong, wife?"
I turned my head with a stiff neck, and a woman with bright clothes, elegant temperament and gentle breath was staring at me in disbelief, tears were rolling in her eyes. Next to her stood a man in a suit and tie, holding a petite and cute girl in his arms.
Is she Chen Fengjiao? My mind was full of doubts that I had already believed. She was, but she was not the mother who smiled gently at me and whom I treasured deep in my memory.
"She is your brother's eldest daughter, right?" The man wiped his daughter's hands and nodded to me with a gentle smile.
We were sitting at the round dining table, and the woman was talking to me enthusiastically. When she heard this, she was stunned for a moment, then said to the man in a chastising tone: "We have so many relatives in our family, who do you remember?"
I was silent. When the man asked just now, the woman introduced me and said that I was a relative from her hometown.
"Who are you?" the little girl asked in a baby voice, staring at me with her black eyes, so cute.
"I..." But I didn't know how to answer her.
But the woman said to the little girl, "Xing Le, you can't be so rude. This is your sister, you have to call her sister!"
"Call me sister!" said the woman.
Sister? Yes, I am her sister, half sister.
The little girl's eyes look so familiar. She looks cute and delicate when her eyebrows are wrinkled. I have been looking at these eyes for more than ten years. I see them every day when I look in the mirror and when I dream about women.
"Hello, sister!" the little girl called out crisply with a smile.
I smiled with the corners of my lips and said, "Hello." My hands trembled and the chopsticks almost slipped.
The woman next to me looks like the one in my memory, but she is not. At that time, we lived in a small house in the vegetable market, which was noisy and smelly, but the woman kept herself clean every day. She had a peaceful smile and looked very beautiful. She is still beautiful now, but not the simple, plain, real beauty that I can touch. Now she is well-maintained and elegant, just like this city.
I don’t know which one is the real her, the one in my memory or the one now, but she has nothing to do with that vegetable market anymore.
I was holding the chopsticks and thinking about something, when suddenly Gu Yue on my right touched me. I looked up blankly and looked in the direction he pointed. The man was probably in his early 40s, but he was completely different from my father who was also in his early 40s. He looked gentle and sophisticated, like an elite.
The man picked up a shrimp for the little girl and repeated what he had just said: "Are you here to play or something? Since you are here, play for a few more days."
"No, thanks."
After I said this, Chen Fengjiao was obviously disappointed. She paused and took out a piece of paper to wipe the little girl's mouth.
I continued, "We are here to compete, and we have to go back in the afternoon because we have classes tomorrow."
Maybe I had practiced it, I lied as soon as I opened my mouth. How could two students who were still in school uniforms and didn't even have a backpack be here to play?
"Come to Shanghai to participate in the competition? That's amazing. What grade are you in?" the man asked.
Chen Fengjiao fed the little girl a spoonful of rice. She looked at me with something hidden in her eyes. She said, "You are about to graduate. I haven't seen you for almost ten years."
She remembered? My nose suddenly felt a little sour, and I said, "Yes, the school specially approved a place for me to participate in the finals held in Shanghai. I saw that there was still some time before I had to go back, so I came to see you and try my luck."
I said this with difficulty but was glad that I didn't have her phone number or address. I only had an email address that I had memorized a few years ago. If I couldn't see her, it would be a waste of my trip. I came here for the 15,000 yuan, but I'm sitting here not for the 15,000 yuan. It's for my longing, or belief, that has been growing wildly for nearly ten years and has been beautified by me to the point of being almost paranoid.
Chen Fengjiao's eyes were filled with heat for a moment, as if she was embarrassed or guilty. She lowered her head and fiddled with the spoon in the small bowl: "Okay, okay, it's grown this big in the blink of an eye."
She didn't call my name, nor did she point out who she was talking about, but my heart softened immediately. She is my mother. Even though she has been reborn and has a new and beautiful life; even though she has cut ties with that vegetable market, she is still my mother whom I have not seen for nearly ten years.
Suddenly the little girl mumbled something, and the man smiled at her. The three of them looked like a model family in a TV commercial, and the whole room was filled with happiness. It seemed like it had its own soft light, and everything looked warm and gentle. The place where Gu Yue and I were was deserted, silent, and even redundant. They looked too harmonious, and the atmosphere unconsciously created a chasm between us.
I can't describe all this in words. I am like the dark side of Chen Fengjiao's life. Everyone has a dark side, but now she is facing the sun, looking appropriate and harmonious, as if her life should be like this.
The man was worried that he might have left us out, so he stood up and took a piece of fish with his chopsticks: "Don't just eat the rice, eat some dishes. If it's not enough, order more!"
"She doesn't eat fish!" Chen Fengjiao shouted when the chopsticks were about to fall into my bowl, and stretched out her small bowl to take the fish.
"LeLe doesn't eat fish either!" the little girl suddenly shouted with all her might.
The man teased the little girl and said, "Fish are smart. If you eat fish, you will become smart too!"
The little girl was unhappy and pouted and said, "Fish are so smart, how can they be eaten by people? This shows that fish are stupid!"
The scene suddenly became joyful. The man and she laughed so hard that they fell over, and she even laughed to the point of tears.
Gu Yue and I laughed a few times in response. I felt mixed emotions as I watched her teasing her daughter. She still remembered that I didn't eat fish.
She didn't even wipe away the tears from her eyes. She turned to look at me. Her tearful eyes made her look particularly gentle. The deep love was reflected from the depths of her eyes. She said, "Do you remember that when you were little, you also said something like this, exactly the same as Lele said. At that time, in order to avoid eating fish, you used all kinds of tricks and said all kinds of nonsense..."
When she was halfway through her speech, her eyes were filled with nostalgia for the past. The light in her eyes came from ten years ago and was projected onto me without any interruption, but it was already ten years later.
She remembered, she remembered everything. Some things were like light, which had never stopped since the day it was emitted. But I was too far away from her and could no longer feel the warmth of that light. I shuddered, and this motherly love spread throughout my body. It was exactly the same as what I had been pursuing for ten years, but it was also different. She was still sitting on my left side, but I could not be as close to her as before.
The little girl sat on her left, eating her meal mouthful by mouthful. A waiter came in with a pot of hot soup and served the food between her and me. I reached out to pick up the food, and the little girl leaned forward to reach for the snacks. The spoon in the hot soup tilted backwards for some reason, and the hot soup splashed out.
"Baby, be careful!" she shouted, pushing the fallen spoon away from the little girl's hand.
The "ping pong pong" sound ended almost in an instant. She protected the little girl and asked anxiously: "How is it? Are you burned?" The little girl looked at her confusedly and shook her head.
The back of my hand was scalded red by the hot soup, and the spoon she pushed over hit the joint. The pain was not as great as the pain in my heart; the heat was not as great as the burning of my internal organs. The tears that I had suppressed for a long time, the tears that should have been shed while I cried for my mother and threw myself into her arms, now fell silently on the glass table.
I didn't have time to dodge or retract my hands. The moment she called out "baby", all my reflexes made me look back at the person who once called me baby, but she wasn't calling me.
Then I saw a scene that I had already admitted and recognized, but still found hard to accept. I saw her using her own hands to fend off danger and protect her child. Her whole heart and soul were already hung on that little girl. Not a replacement, not redundant. She still loved me, she still remembered every bit of me, but those were all my past. I had always loved her, but I was no longer within the scope of her wholehearted care.
In the past ten years, we have embarked on different paths; our intersection cannot fill the ten years that we have left blank.
The fastest person to treat my burns was Gu Yue. He poured a glass of cold water on the back of my hand almost instantly, put a wet towel on my hand, held my hand, and shouted to the waiter, "Where is the bathroom?"
But in the end, it was she who accompanied me to the bathroom to deal with it. She looked so apologetic that she didn't even dare to look at me, but when she was helping me deal with the burn, her eyelids twitched with my gasps.
She is afraid of pain, especially when it comes to me. When I was little, I loved to run and play crazily. Because of falling, my knees were almost completely empty in the summer. Every time she treated my wounds, her eyelids would twitch with fear. I would take a deep breath, and she would take a deep breath too. I said, "Baby, it doesn't hurt," but she said, "Mom, it hurts."
I raised my other hand and touched her face. She trembled, stiffened for a moment, and then calmed down.
I said, “I don’t feel any pain.”
Her tears fell almost the moment she looked up at me. She didn’t say “Mommy is in pain”, she just said: “Baby, I’m sorry…”
We waved goodbye and walked into the high-speed rail station. When we first arrived in Shanghai, Gu Yue and I only had about 100 yuan left. If we couldn't find my mother, we couldn't even afford the ticket back home. When I left, I was holding the 5,000 yuan she forced into my arms.
She hugged me and cried for a long time in the bathroom, saying sorry all the time. In a hurry, she kept asking me if I was doing well, and then she kept saying sorry. I touched her head and kept saying, "I don't feel any pain."
I will still encounter many difficulties and fall many times, but I am no longer afraid of pain. Even if you are not there to bear the pain for me, I already have some people who will stand by me no matter what difficulties and dangers I encounter.
I am not afraid of pain, because I already have someone who is afraid of my pain. I raised a relaxed smile from the bottom of my heart, looked at Gu Yue beside me, and said, "Gu Yue."
"Huh?" He turned to look at me.
"Nothing, just shouting for fun!" I smiled at him.
He raised his hand and touched my head, smiling back at me.
"My mom just asked me if I was having any troubles." We were standing on the platform, and I looked in the direction of the train. "But I didn't say anything."
"Oh." Gu Yue responded, indicating that he understood.
"You don't ask me why?"
I looked back at Gu Yue. The train roared in and stopped in front of us. He smiled and said, "Here comes the train."
I followed Gu Yue into the carriage, and it took me a long time to smile again.
Because I don't want to drag her into this quagmire of the vegetable market.
…
"We can't stay in the market forever! If we stay here, we're done for, our lives are over!"
"Yuanyuan, Mom is going to Shanghai. When Mom has established herself on her feet, she will take you over."
"Yuanyuan, you should study hard and go to Shanghai to study at a university. Then you can leave this vegetable market forever!"
…
We sat down in our seats, the train was about to start, and I took a last look at the city of Shanghai. This city left my mother behind, my mother, she had left that vegetable market forever, and I didn't want to drag her into that terrible and smelly life again.
I sat in a seat that could be adjusted backwards, which was much more comfortable than when I came. I was bored and flipping through a magazine on the train, when suddenly I heard a beeping sound in my pocket, reminding me that my cell phone was running out of battery.
I took out my phone and found that it only had 2% battery left. I unlocked it and it was flooded with missed calls and text messages. I casually clicked on Deng Yi's text message and at the top of the series of "Why didn't you answer my call, why didn't you reply to my text message", the text box read:
That policeman came to see Director Guo again! I overheard that policeman saying, "He was sent to the hospital, but he has died of his injuries." What happened? How did someone else die? Who did you beat to death? Why don't you reply to my message?
Seriously injured and incurable? Zhou Sijie is dead?
"What's wrong?"
I looked up at Gu Yue, who was coming back from the toilet and getting closer. I raised my hand tremblingly and held up the phone. When Gu Yue walked in front of me and was about to answer the phone, the phone let out a final wail.
Gu Yue took the phone, looked at the dark screen and said, "It's dead, so let's take a nap."
Gu Yue sat down beside me calmly, and then pretended to use a magazine as a blanket to cover himself. I looked at him with his eyes closed, my mind was blank, and I couldn't say a word.
The rapid beating of my heart in my chest seemed to pull me back into the endless darkness in an instant. Fear made me want to open my mouth and call for help, but the last light had gone out.
After a while, perhaps just a moment, Gu Yue narrowed his eyes and peeked at my movements, but I didn't move.
I was so scared that I was stunned. Zhou Sijie was seriously injured and died? I, I hurt someone? The huge impact force hit my consciousness.
"Why do you look so unhappy? What's wrong with your phone? What's wrong with you?" Gu Yue saw that something was wrong with me, turned around and asked me.
I held the phone, panicking but also suspicious: "Gu Yue, should we call Deng Yi?"
Gu Yue looked at me deeply and went to the front or back seat to borrow someone's cell phone.
Is this fake? Is Deng Yi lying to me? At this moment, I wish I could put all my luck in avoiding all the disasters in my life on this one lucky chance. Maybe it was just a lie to trick us back? I dialed the number I wrote down with suspicion, and almost as soon as I dialed it, someone answered the phone. I was so scared that I even forgot to breathe.
"Deng Yi?" I asked nervously.
"Zhang Yuanyuan."
I looked at Gu Yue with wide eyes. It was Director Guo!
"Gu Yue, I don't know where you went, but running away like this won't solve the problem. Come back, we are all waiting for you in the school office. Let's sit down and talk things out. You are still young and have a lot of youth ahead of you, don't do anything stupid!"
I hung up the phone in a hurry, and all I could think about was Director Guo’s words - you are still young and have a bright future ahead of you, so don’t do stupid things.
I didn't know how to tell Gu Yue about Deng Yi's text message. I was hoping that it was all fake, that Director Guo had Deng Yi tell a lie to scare us back. But if it wasn't, if it was true, I would have lost those good years of my youth.
Seriously injured and dying, this should be a criminal case, right? I was thinking this as the train quickly entered the tunnel and it was getting dark.
We returned to the school gate. We had just escaped so ostentatiously yesterday, but one day later, we were back to square one again in such a mess. I glanced at Gu Yue, and he smiled at me as if to convey courage, grabbed my hand and said, "Don't be afraid."
I nodded, the heroic courage of facing death surged in my body. All this is just like that. I am Zhang Yuanyuan, not the Zhang Yuanyuan who is the top student in the grade and the pride of the school, but the Zhang Yuanyuan with flesh and blood.
Gu Yue held my hand and walked in front of me. For too long, I walked alone like this, but now there is someone who will hold my hand and protect me behind him. My eyes were suddenly blurred by tears, but my heart gradually became firm.
A few months ago, I was a machine born for the graduation exam. I had only one belief: to go to Shanghai. All my strength in life was to escape the fate of being blackened by the vegetable market for more than ten years in my life and to get rid of this unbearable background. I am proud and inferior.
But this person in front of me, from the time I had a conflict with him, he slowly entered my life and changed me bit by bit. He taught me to open my heart, he taught me to spread kindness and make friends, he taught me to be moved. My body was slowly given flesh and blood, I learned to laugh, learned to get along with others, I released the most twisted obsession hidden in my heart, and I became the flesh and blood Zhang Yuanyuan.
Such a person, such a person I like, is now standing in front of me, with the courage of an unstoppable force, wanting to shield me from all wind and rain, to save me from fear and worry. He is a good boy wrapped in thorns, and he shouldn't ruin his life that has just been on the right track for me.
Gu Yue wanted to enter the office first, so I dragged him behind me. We walked in the empty corridor, he stared at me inexplicably, and I suddenly felt relieved.
As if I heard the sound of flowers blooming, I motioned for him to lower his head, then stood on tiptoe and quickly pecked him on the lips. I said, "I like you!"
But I can't drag you into the mud. Chen Fengjiao left me, and my life became better. I can't let you become worse because of me. A life for a life, I have to bear everything I should bear. I like you, and for the first time in more than ten years, I feel like a flower in full bloom. I'm afraid if I don't say it, I will never have the chance to say it again. I like you, but I can't drag you down.
I turned around, leaving Gu Yue in a daze, and rushed into the office. I shouted to everyone in the office: "I did it, it was all me!"
The office was silent for a few seconds, and then someone rushed up to me.
"Pa!" A slap hit me in the face, the sound was so clear that it could be heard almost outside the office. My face was slapped to the other side, and it felt hot.
"You!" Dad's face was red, and his eyes were cloudy with anger. "You skipped school, you didn't come home at night, and you ran away from home with someone!" Dad was so angry that his hands were shaking. He raised his hand, trembling.
I turned my head stiffly. The office was full of people. They were all there. Director Guo, Political Science Teacher Zhang, Wang Zhenzhen, my uncle, my aunt, my dad, and even Gu Yue's dad, Gu Changxing, were all there. When I saw Gu Changxing, I was thinking absentmindedly that Gu Yue had not lied to me and his dad was really coming back soon.
"If you want to run away from home, just run away. Everyone has seen you and the news has spread all over the school. Why are you still pretending?" Wang Zhenzhen sat on the chair with her legs crossed. Her contempt had never been as obvious as it was today.
I tilted my neck to look at Wang Zhenzhen, I didn't understand what she was saying.
"Don't talk nonsense. I'm taking care of my daughter. It's none of your business!" Dad yelled back at Wang Zhenzhen angrily.
"Why would I talk nonsense? Zhang Yuanyuan dragged Gu Yue away in front of everyone, right? Tian Tian from their class saw with her own eyes that Gu Yue carried her up the steep slope, and they both ran away through the iron fence. The teachers and parents couldn't stop them." Wang Zhenzhen was calm and composed, her legs shaking, her hands waving, she wished she could make an on-site report that "Zhang Yuanyuan and Gu Yue both ran away from home."
Some people actually took my words to heart. My uncle looked at me with a sneer and said, "You are such a good girl from the Zhang family. You are so young and yet you are already doing this. You are just like your fickle mother!"
"Shut up and don't talk!" Aunt gave uncle an elbow.
Dad leaned sideways, with an unprecedented seriousness in his eyes: "Yuanyuan, you are my daughter. If you say it's not true, Dad will believe you! Tell Dad, right?"
Dad has always been kind, even when our family conditions were bad, he always smiled at me, never so serious or tough. Bitterness spread in my heart, I made Dad proud but never let him appear at the commendation meeting, but from tomorrow, Dad will probably be ashamed of me.
"No, let's go find ..."
Wang Zhenzhen stood up, pointed at my nose and said, "You said it wasn't you? Were you the one who stayed after school to flirt with Gu Yue and pretend to make up lessons? Were you the one who came in last time without wearing a school uniform but wearing Gu Yue's school uniform?"
"Yes, but we are not being affectionate. We are really taking extra classes." I stood up straight and explained hurriedly, even waving my hands, trying to make people in the office believe what I said.
How could Wang Zhenzhen let me explain myself? She interrupted me sharply, "You've already admitted it! Do you dare to say that it wasn't you who did it? Ha, I didn't expect that last time you almost had a fight with Gu Yue, and now you're together."
"Fight?" Dad seemed to have thought of something. He looked at me and said, "Last time, I asked you to run out at night to deliver medicine to a classmate you had a fight with. Was it this Gu Yue?"
"Dad?" Dad doesn't believe me?
I stared at my dad, hoping he would still be on my side, but he demanded sharply, "Is it him?"
I agreed. What else could I say? Even my dad didn't believe me anymore.
"I'll beat you to death!" Dad's face instantly aged, his hands raised in the air, "How could I raise someone like you! I, I deserve to die! I deserve to die!"
Dad regretted and blamed himself, tears slid down his withered cheeks. Dad, who was in his early forties, suddenly looked as old as a man in his sixties or seventies. I didn't come home all night. How long did Dad look for me? I couldn't bear it anymore. I cried and said to Dad, "Dad, I was wrong. Beat me! Don't blame yourself. I was wrong, I was wrong!"
The tension and anxiety of the past few days did not break me down, but I fell apart in my father's tears. What did I do, what did I do wrong, to make my father cry in such pain and self-blame?
"Ha, the truth is out now, right? It's our top student in the grade who doesn't respect himself, steals money from home, and runs away from home with someone." Wang Zhenzhen said sarcastically.
This time, no one argued for me. It seemed that the dust had settled and the verdict had been made. However, my father's slap did not fall. Someone suddenly pulled me back and blocked me.
"It's not her fault, don't hit her." Gu Yue said to my dad calmly, "I lied to her. I threatened her to steal the money, and I also dragged her away."
As if seeing a glimmer of hope, the aunt rushed over and questioned Gu Yue: "Did you cause the injury on her body..."
"Yes!" Gu Yue admitted without thinking, "Don't blame her, it's all my fault. What can you do to me? At worst, I'll just drop out of school!"
My aunt was frightened by Gu Yue's words. She gasped: "You threatened her? You intimidated her? What else did you do to her? What did you do? Is it enough to just drop out of school?" My aunt couldn't continue. She choked, rushed up to hug me, beat my back, and cried and scolded.
"I'll beat you to death!" A man rushed out from the innermost part of the office and kicked Gu Yue.
"Ah!" I screamed and watched Gu Yue being kicked aside.
"Dad?" Gu Yue covered his stomach and widened his eyes in disbelief, but what he waited for was Gu Changxing's second kick.
"Who gave you the courage? Who gave you the courage?" Gu Changxing yelled as he beat her. "I thought you were fighting with others because you were just a few energetic boys, but what did you do? What did you do to that little girl? I'll kick you to death!"
When Gu Yue saw his father for the first time, his eyes were filled with surprise and grievance. Gu Yue lost his mature and confident appearance in front of me, and showed Gu Changxing the grievance and vulnerability hidden in his heart. He almost cried out: "Why did you come back just now? Why did you come back just now? My mom is almost dying!"
Gu Changxing was probably called in in a hurry to deal with Gu Yue's matter, and no one even told him that Liu Sulan had been in a car accident. He was stunned: "What did you say? What happened to your mother?" Gu Yue was smart, and he learned sophisticated skills from his father. He would not easily show his vulnerable side in front of others, but now Gu Yue was about to cry in public, which showed how serious the matter was.
But I felt relieved. Gu Yue's father was back, Liu Sulan's life was safe, and Gu Yue should be fine. I closed my eyes peacefully in the arms of my father and aunt, so that if I was sent to a juvenile detention center, I would feel at ease.
But some people still wouldn't let us go. Wang Zhenzhen screamed, "Your mother is sick and you cheated, stole money, extorted people, and even made bruises on girls' bodies? You can do these things just because your mother is sick? Humph, you stole money and you are so confident!" Wang Zhenzhen put her hands on her hips, looking like a presiding judge, and easily decided our life and death.
"I finally understand." Wang Zhenzhen's words were once again heard by her uncle. "You stole my money and shouted at me to kill you. Your parents don't know how to discipline you. I will send you to the police station for discipline!"
"Wang Zhenzhen, shut up! You were caught destroying someone's family more than ten years ago and were beaten. Don't always think that Liu Sulan exposed you. You have bad behavior yourself, don't always act like a dog and bite Liu Sulan whenever you catch her! And don't think that all girls are as unselfish as you are!"
Where did the sound come from? The office was in chaos. Dad was crying and blaming himself, saying he deserved to die; my aunt hugged me and scolded me for not having a clear mind, asking me why I would do such a thing; Wang Zhenzhen and teacher Zhang, who exposed her, were swearing at each other like shrews; Gu Yue cried and scolded his father, asking why he had just returned; Gu Changxing, with a look of regret, kept asking what happened to Liu Sulan; my uncle kept muttering that he would send Gu Yue to the police station...
There were too many sounds, and it was like there was no sound at all. You didn't know which one to listen to, and you didn't know which one was your own. I once again experienced such a chaotic situation. Last time I could easily resolve it, but this time it became a dead end, Zhang Yuanyuan's dead end.
I looked at my father, tears of regret streaming down my face. I have never been a good daughter. I thought I could make him proud and not worry about anything, so I didn't allow him to touch anything. I think he actually knew that I despised him. I despised him for being a cripple, for not having a decent job, for embarrassing me, and for being poor. Every time he tried his best to give me his best, I just ignored him. But at this moment, when I embarrassed him so much, he held me tightly and never thought of letting go.
That's enough. I looked at them one by one, my dad, my aunt, Gu Yue, and even Deng Yi, Yue Hui, and Gao Yuelin who are not here now. There are so many people who have given me warmth, and that's enough.
My world was alive and full of colorful things. I smiled and was not afraid of anything. Until a glimpse of darkness came in and a man in police uniform appeared at the door of the office. He said to Director Guo, who had been silent the whole time, "Guo Qingjun!"
My dead end, I know I have to end it all myself.
I looked at my right hand, the right hand that had hit Zhou Sijie's head with a brick, the right hand that had caused Zhou Sijie's death. I said to everyone in the office, "I was the one who hit him. I was the one who hit him."