Chapter 99: Finding Myself (1)
[Haicheng] is some distance away from [Liancheng].
Because of the battle, the road to [Liancheng] has been blocked. [Haicheng] can be said to be the front line of the blockade, so even if we came to the nearest place; due to the battle, it seems a bit chaotic here, but basically the order can be maintained. [Xingwang Inn] is the largest inn in the city. Not only does it have a good geographical location, but the architecture is also very gorgeous and elegant. There is an independent courtyard in the inn. This small courtyard is like a small courtyard with a very exquisite structure. The highest place has two floors, and the room at the edge of the second floor has open windows. There is a person sitting at the table by the window, staring at the lake outside the window!
That’s right, the person in the room was Yin Yin. She leaned back in her chair and stared outside. Rather than looking at the lake, it was better to say that she didn’t know where she was looking. Her eyes were blurry and she was a little absent-minded. No one knew what she was thinking, except herself...
It has been many days since she came here. Because the road to Liancheng has been blocked, Yinyin has to stay here. She is already close to the target she wants to find, but cannot meet him. Not only that, there is no news. It would be a lie to say that she is not anxious. However, there is no emotion in Yinyin's expression now. It is not entirely because she cannot meet him, because even if she can meet him, she is not sure what will happen after the meeting. After a long journey, Yinyin has calmed down a lot, at least she can think calmly about the future. There are many reasons why she can remain calm until now, and one of them may have a lot to do with Zhou Yan.
In Yinyin's memory, when Zhou Yan sent her directly to the border that day, the night before they parted...
"I still love you. It won't change now, and it won't change in the future. This is the only thing you must remember."
Zhou Yan came to find Yin Yin. This was the night he talked the most since they set out on the road together. Yin Yin still couldn't forget Zhou Yan's expression at that time...
"You can go find him, or be with him after you find him, but you can't deny that I love you, and you can't deprive me of the right to love you. Maybe you will feel that my love is forced on you, but I love you with my life, and I love you so much that I can't extricate myself. I thought I would keep you by my side even if I had to use force, but now, I choose to let go, not to give up loving you, but to let you do what you want to do. The result is not important, but please don't forget that I love you. If the result is not what you want, you can come to me at any time and come back to me. At that time, I will take you to a place where there is no dispute and spend the rest of our lives together."
"Maybe when you think of everything, you will hate me. I won't blame you, because what happened will never change. I won't ask for your forgiveness, but I just hope you won't treat me like an enemy."
"I won't tell you everything I know. If it's your own choice, you should find it yourself . There are also ties between you and him that I don't know about, so I won't tell you. Even if you hate me, I will still do it if I can choose again. But you must remember that I have never thought of hurting you, never-"
"I still cannot forget everything I have done to you. The time I spent with you is proof that I have survived. I have never forgotten the hurt you have caused me, and I hate myself for it. But I love you, hopelessly, to the point of losing my mind many times, and then hurting you. You don't have to forgive me, and I won't forgive myself either."
"Please don't regard me as a burden to you, because that would make me feel that even the last bit of my dignity would disappear. Since I fell in love with you, I have lost everything, so please leave me the last bit of dignity that belongs to me and is engraved on my soul. Falling in love with you is my own choice, and it has nothing to do with anyone, including you. Don't look down on me, and don't think that not loving me is your sin. I won't blame you, and no one will blame you."
"There is no reason to love someone. I do hope to get your response, but you also have the right to choose. Everyone can have their own love, so you don't have to force yourself to share your love with anyone or give it to anyone. True love can only be given to one person at a time, even sympathy cannot be given up; keeping you by my side and longing for your love is my lifelong dream, but it is not as happy as your happiness, so it's okay to give it to only one person, as long as you can be happy."
"Never think that the people who love you must give something in return. You are you, not anyone else. I can give everything to love you and others, but you don't need to give the same love to us. Don't feel guilty about my love. It's unnecessary because you haven't done anything wrong. You are just being loved. I hope you can think that our love is happiness and not a sin."
"Everyone should pursue their own happiness, and the same goes for you. Don't force yourself to do things you can't do. Just think about what you need to do and what you should do. There's no need to think about anything else. You are not a saint, you are just a person, an ordinary person. There is nothing wrong with pursuing what you are loyal to, and don't feel any burden. I let you go to find your own happiness, but it doesn't mean I can give up. I hope you will also not forget to find yourself."
