“They are all idiots!”
"They're all idiots... really stupid idiots... luckily, they're not my children, otherwise I would be pissed off by them!"
Yuncha Ridge, the core area, the Chatian Holy Peak.
The mountain is majestic, like a pitch-black steel spear, piercing into the sky. The mountain is nearly a million miles high, and the mountains on all sides are sharp. Occasionally, a few strong and ancient pines are dotted on the mountain. There are brave eagles and eagles building nests on the tree branches. Occasionally, the cry of an eagle will make the whole area silent, and all birds and beasts are silent.
On the east side of the Chatian Peak, on the smooth cliff that looked like it was cut by a knife, an extremely bright cinnabar red word "stamp" was written in huge font by some great and powerful person!
The word "刺" was written with extremely powerful strokes. To put it nicely, it looks like a dragon or a phoenix dancing in the air. To put it bluntly, it looks like a chicken's claws twitching... From the top of the mountain to the foot, the huge word, which is a million miles long, is extremely overbearing and fierce, like a long spear, piercing straight into the sky from the foot of the mountain.
At the top of the word "poking", near the top of Chatian Peak, there is a flat land hanging high in the clouds. On the flat land of more than 100 acres, there are ancient pines, exotic orchids, two waterfalls, and a small spring. At the end of the flat land is a neatly decorated round arch cave. On the cliffs on both sides, there are Buddhist reliefs such as celestial maidens offering flowers, Bodhisattvas preaching, Buddhas lying on their sides, and Arhats punching.
Early in the morning, accompanied by the constant cursing of "idiot", the master of Yuncha Ridge, the supreme leader in the hearts of trillions of demons and monsters, Lao Hei, known as the Big Bear, scratched his forehead, shook his big belly with a "gurgling" sound, and slowly walked out of the cave.
He walked all the way to the edge of the flat land, looked down at the sea of ​​clouds from a high vantage point, squinted at the half red sun that was faintly visible on the edge of the sea of ​​clouds in the east, pulled down his belt casually, revealing an extremely majestic and indecent thing, and blew a whistle.
With a "chi slurp", a yellow hot spring spurted out dozens of miles away, like an arrow piercing the clouds, piercing through the thick clouds along the way, and turned into a drizzle with a strange smell, slowly drifting down along the mountain wind.
A fine mist filled the air, and the red sun, which had just peeked out, shone on the mist, instantly spreading out several small circles of rainbows.
His body shivered once, then shivered again. Lao Hei muttered a few times, scratched the fat flesh on his belly, pulled out two chubby lice, and crushed them to death with a "click": "Don't let outsiders take away the good stuff! You little bastards that I have fed with my own blood and essence!"
He casually stuffed two crushed lice into his mouth, chewed them twice, and swallowed them.
A few seductive vixen twisted their slender waists, came up giggling, picked up buckets, drew clean water from the spring on the plain, and poured it all over Lao Hei's head.
Lao Hei opened his arms and let the vixens wet his hair. Then he applied the best ointment and soap imported from outside the mountain and rubbed it on his body to create thick, delicate white foam.
After all this, buckets of clean water were poured down, washing away all the hair on his body. Several vixens combed Lao Hei's hair with fine combs, and then smeared the long black hair with the finest scented oil, making his two-foot-long black hair shiny and glossy like a mirror.
A huge full-length mirror was brought over by several little demons and placed next to Lao Hei.
Lao Hei looked at his own reflection in the mirror for a while, then nodded with satisfaction. "Well, as a Buddhist disciple, you should be dignified. Those sloppy monks are not good monks. Although I am not a proper Buddhist disciple, I should dress neatly. Otherwise, I will be scolded if I go to the front mountain to ask for some fragrant cakes and fruits!"
A few little vixens brought a complete set of armor, battle robes, belts, etc.
He put on a battle robe embroidered with flowers on bright red brocade, a heavy barbarian king armor with a pattern of a lion swallowing its mouth, a large belt with a gluttonous beast pattern, a large cloak with a bloody flame pattern, and an extremely heavy gilded helmet with large ox horns. On his left waist hung a large serrated bone-cutting scimitar, and on his right waist hung a door-panel-breaking two-handed heavy sword. He also took over a six-foot-long and wind-permeable steel spear that was carried over by a few little demons with a grunt.
Lao Hei raised his spear, stomped his feet hard, and shouted "Wow" towards the red sun that had risen three poles high in the sky.
"The great god of Yuncha Mountain, the handsome black-faced man Laohei is here... Who of you minions from Heaven dares to fight me?"
The red sun is silent.
The sky is silent.
The flowing clouds are silent.
Lao Hei swung his spear, stirring up a hurricane that swept away the thick clouds around Chatian Peak. He thrust his hips forward with all his strength, and yelled, "Wow, you little Taichu boy, I'm fucking your mother!"
The flowing clouds are silent.
The sky is silent.
The red sun is silent.
Lao Hei was silent for a while, dropped his spear, took off the big scimitar and heavy sword hanging on his belt, took off his heavy belt and armor, took off his cloak, dropped the mighty gilded helmet on his head, and with his hands behind his back, like an old man on his last legs, he walked step by step towards the cave at the end of the plain with a hunched back.
As he walked, he casually unbuttoned his bright red brocade robe with flowers on it, revealing his shiny black fur.
"Give the order, and let's have dinner!" Lao Hei muttered, "Send a message to that old fellow Han Hai, and teach him a lesson after all the fighting and quarreling. Don't really piss off Tai Chu, or he will really use all his strength to attack us at Yuncha Ridge..."
"I'm not afraid, but the men under my command were all born and raised by our parents... There are too many casualties, which undermines the original intention of compassion of our Buddhist sect!"
"It's okay. Don't fight and kill. Why bother? Why bother?"
"Relieve your strength, take it easy..." Old Black walked slowly into his own cave with heavy steps.
The furnishings in the huge cave are quite simple, and can even be said to be a bit shabby. The cave is extremely bright and tall, and the cave walls are made of a material between stalactites and jade, crystal clear and translucent, with bright light lingering inside, and no lamp beads are needed to see every detail.
On the cave walls, huge niches are neatly carved, enshrining graceful statues of Buddha, Bodhisattva, Heavenly King and Arhat. Next to each statue is a nameplate with tiny handwriting recording the life and origin of these statues.
For example, the abbot of the Nalanda Temple, the "divine monk", in which year he was born, in which year he died, what great achievements he made in his life, etc.
In front of these statues, there are incense burners, flowers, fruits, vegetarian wine, and all kinds of offerings.
Lao Hei walked slowly past these Buddhist shrines.
Along the way, there were many clever little white apes dressed as novice monks, busy burning incense to the statues in the shrines and replacing various offerings. When they saw Lao Hei passing by, these little white apes hurriedly put their hands together, saluted Lao Hei in a formal manner, and chanted Buddhist mantras.
Lao Hei walked slowly to the depths of the cave and came to a huge stone hall that could accommodate banquets for tens of thousands of people.
He sat steadily behind a huge stone table, and a group of little vixens came to him and brought him water, wild fruits, steamed buns, and homemade pickles.
As the leader of Yuncha Ridge, he has trillions of powerful demons under his command.
But Lao Hei's breakfast is extremely light.
Putting his hands together and mumbling a few verses to start the meal, Lao Hei began to enjoy the meal slowly. He was over 30 feet tall, with broad shoulders and a round waist, and was full of fat, but he had a very poor appetite. With such a big body, he only drank a few bowls of water, ate a dozen wild apples and pears, ate more than 20 steamed buns made of whole grains, ate a bucket of millet porridge, and ate three dishes of pickled vegetables, then waved his hand and asked someone to take the meal away.
"Bring me the account book!" Lao Hei muttered.
A seductive and charming woman, with great beauty and charm, like a ripe wild peony, a vixen with a beauty that could topple a country, walked up quietly and slammed a thick, specially made account book that was about ten feet long and wide in front of Lao Hei with a bang.
Lao Hei wiped the saliva at the corner of his mouth with his thick fingers, opened the huge account book with some difficulty, and looked at the lines of exquisite small words on it with a frown.
"Alas, King Black Wind is a fool."
"Black Cloud kid is also stupid."
"Fortunately, fortunately, they are not my biological children, they are all godchildren, godchildren..." Lao Hei muttered, "Otherwise I would be mad at them, mad at them... Not my biological children, not my biological children... I am a Buddhist disciple who observes the precepts, there is no such thing as biological sons!"
"Ah!" Looking at the dense handwriting on the account book, Lao Hei sighed with a sad face: "I have never been a reader since I was a child. Looking at these things gives me a headache... Hey, I lost a lot, right?"
The vixen dropped the account book, rolled her eyes at Lao Hei, and started complaining.
"I say, my king, you are just looking for trouble for no reason!"
"Lord Black Cloud won a victory... ahem." The vixen rolled her eyes. "Although this record is a bit exaggerated, those lackeys in the Heavenly Court did not gain any advantage. It is reasonable to say that it was a great victory."
"King Black Wind is a brainless idiot, you know. He has always been fawning on Lord Black Cloud, and this is not the first time he has done such a thing... Uh, he wanted to celebrate for Lord Black Cloud on his territory of Black Wind Ridge..."
Lao Hei snorted coldly: "Of course you can celebrate, but you have to pay!"
"Those who run restaurants and restaurants, their capital is money, isn't it? Let us just run to other people's shops and wantonly take their drinks, food and meat without paying?"
"You do it once, twice, three times, four times..." Lao Hei muttered, "It's against the rules."
The vixen sighed: "Then, just like in previous years, you have to pay for it yourself..."
Lao Hei scratched his scalp hard and sighed in distress: "Fortunately, they are not my biological children, otherwise... you said, you said, if you take someone else's things, use someone else's things, you have to pay... How many times have I taught them this? I have beaten them and scolded them, why don't they remember it again and again?"
"The beating wasn't severe enough?" Lao Hei looked at the vixen with a wandering gaze: "How about, this time, I can find an excuse to beat up Black Wind King again?"
The vixen blinked her eyes and said, "How about just killing him?"
Lao Hei rolled his eyes. “I won’t beat them to death… I won’t… It’s not a big mistake. He just let the little ones eat and drink for free. Although it’s wrong, it doesn’t mean he will be beaten to death… Hey, hey, these thick-skinned and thick-fleshed bastards will not remember anything unless they are beaten to death at once!”
Waving his hand, Lao Hei said leisurely: "Let's use the old method. Send your people, the more meticulous and shrewd ones. Those unlucky guys who opened shops have been deprived of their wine and meat consumption, and secretly provide them with supplies behind the scenes."
"After we have had our fun, we will bring back these bad guys and deal with them. We can't really beat them to death, but we have to beat them half to death."
"Yuncha Ridge still has to follow the rules."
The vixen was silent for a while, then carefully approached Lao Hei and said, "But, my king, this matter is because of the nephew of Emperor Taichu ...that Yuan Fu..."
Lao Hei looked at the vixen in surprise and said, "What do you want to say? What's so good about him? Should we reach out for help?"
With a faint smile, Lao Hei lightly poked the vixen with his finger, creating a goose egg-sized lump of flesh on her forehead. The vixen burst into tears in pain and rolled her eyes at him madly.
"You guys are so smart!" Lao Hei said calmly: "Just ignore him and let nature take its course?"
After a slight pause, Lao Hei said softly: "They have already arrived at their own territory. It is not us who should be anxious, but them!"
"Bullying a child, if this kind of thing gets out, it will ruin our reputation."
"Just wait and see."
"If Yuan Fu can stay safe in our territory, then it proves that his case is not a big deal... It's just a kid making trouble and taking the opportunity to cause trouble for the Heavenly Court. Can we expect that Yunchaling can defeat the Heavenly Court? It's impossible, absolutely impossible!"
"If Yuanfu were on our territory, something terrible would happen!"
Lao Hei pressed his thick fingers hard on the vixen's plump buttocks. He said slowly, "Buddha has mercy on me. This is interesting... Yunchaling has a little reputation outside. They were able to force them to ignore my face and attack Yuan Fu on Yunchaling's territory... The things inside are very interesting."
"In short, we won't start the fight first!" Lao Hei put his hands together and chanted the Buddha's name devoutly: "The dignity of a Buddhist disciple must be respected. We won't start the fight first. But if Yuan Fu is forced into a corner and comes to us on his own initiative, hugging our thighs and asking for help, then... we will naturally be merciful!"
The vixen smiled sweetly, pursed her red lips, and smacked Lao Hei's big face with a "smack".
"Your Majesty, you are truly wise but appear foolish!"
"Great wisdom appears foolish? Basically, like a fish?" Lao Hei rolled his eyes again: "Do I look like a fish? Humph, humph... Never mind, let's go to Black Wind Ridge... I paid out of my own pocket to fill the hole for these idiots, and I have to eat something to make up for the extravagance!"
His body shook, and the black hair all over Lao Hei's body began to wriggle. In the shining faint Buddha light, he turned into a burly man who was eight feet tall, with big lumps of flesh all over his body like charcoal.
“Okay, come find me if you have any problems!” Old Black stepped on a wisp of black wind and rushed out of the cave as fast as lightning: “Remember to tell Hanhai Sou not to get really angry… just put on a show, that’s enough. If we really piss off Taichu, I’m afraid his few fish bones won’t be enough for the Heavenly Palace to tear apart!”
The city of teeth.
Lu Yi, holding a bag of pearls, stood quietly in the square in front of the patrol general's residence.
Around him were shop owners of all kinds, all of them with twitching faces and mumbling something in low voices - unlike Lu Yu, a newcomer, many of the shop owners in the square have been running their businesses in Yuya City for countless generations and can basically be considered old natives here.
Therefore, they also know what the rules are for Youya City and even the Black Wind Ridge to which Youya City belongs.
Lu Yu stood aside and listened attentively, and he seemed to be enjoying the conversation very much.
The ordinary general of Youya City is a half-blooded grizzly bear spirit... and in Yuncha Ridge, bear spirits are the most expensive. So although this grizzly bear spirit has a weaker cultivation base and has just entered the realm of a heavenly general, his IQ is also a bit low. It is said that he can't even count a hundred on his fingers. He does things upside down and often does things that make people laugh and cry. However... his position in Youya City is very stable.
The Black Wind King of the Black Wind Ridge, which belongs to the Youya City, is a black bear spirit with relatively pure blood. He has the cultivation level of a star lord and holds a bright silver spear in his hand. He is known as "the most handsome bear among the ten thousand mountains at the east gate of Yuncha Ridge."
The Black Wind King and General Yiya are a pair of eccentrics and a pair of top-notch talents.
Their favorite thing to do was to hold banquets and various celebrations every now and then - if they married a new concubine, they would hold a banquet; if they had a new bear cub, they would hold a banquet; if they got a new good weapon, they would hold a banquet; if they won a boxing match with the king on the next mountain, they would hold a banquet...
And once the banquet is held, they will celebrate together.
The means they used to celebrate were very crude and direct - all the little demons in the Black Wind Ridge territory and the mountain strongholds directly under the jurisdiction of the Black Wind King could freely enter and exit various restaurants and hotels, drink and eat meat as they pleased... without paying!
Depending on the size of the celebration, the little demons would spend three to five days, seven to eight days, or even ten days eating and drinking in these shops...the expense was not small!
In the past, whenever King Black Wind and General Yiya held a banquet, it would be an unbearable extra expense for the shop owners of the corresponding businesses in their territories!
This time, Lord Black Cloud led the demon army of Yuncha Ridge to engage in a head-on battle with the Heavenly Court. He actually achieved a brilliant record of annihilating over 100 million enemies and destroying millions of large warships of the Heavenly Court… King Black Wind was so happy that he let the little ones have fun for a month!
Eat and drink as much as you want for a month, no money required!
Lu Yu looked at the many shopkeepers standing around him and couldn't help shaking his head - Lu Yu didn't know any 'economic' or 'financial' tricks, but he at least knew one rule - you have to pay for your meals!
Although the Black Wind King acted so recklessly, the economy of the mountain cities and mountain strongholds in his territory did not collapse, and the shopkeepers of various shops were able to continue operating... One reason was that the business with Yunchaling was so profitable; the other reason was that, judging from what these shopkeepers said, the 'subsidy' behind it also played a role!
The little demons under his command acted recklessly and ate and drank at will.
And a certain big shot in Yunchaling would secretly compensate the shopkeepers who suffered losses every time...
Lu Yi touched his chin thoughtfully. This Yuncha Ridge is really interesting.
"Hey, is Qian Hulu's shopkeeper Xiao Qian here?" A petite sparrow spirit poked its head out from the gate of the patrol general's residence and shouted, "The general said, shopkeeper Xiao Qian, come in quickly... What good things have you prepared to present to Lord Black Cloud as a gift?"
"The general said that this great victory is a great joyous event for us at Yunchaling."
"It's not a top-notch item, so don't show it to embarrass yourself!"
"Look at all the shopkeepers here. They must have taken out all the best things they have hidden in their boxes, right? Tsk tsk!"
Lu Yi responded a few times, smiled, and strode into the City Patrol General's Mansion with his bag in hand. Under the guidance of the Sparrow Spirit, he walked through the rough and spacious square in front of the mansion and came directly to the main hall of the City Patrol General's Mansion.
A huge grizzly bear, with its big belly, was sitting behind a black lacquered desk, drooling as it looked at several fist-sized rubies and sapphires stacked in front of it.
As for these gems, in Lu Yi's eyes, they had no Taoist charm and no spiritual inspiration. They were just very large in size, very clear in quality, well-carved, and extremely shining.
In the secular world, these gems are priceless treasures.
But in the world of cultivation, these gems are really meaningless... They cannot be eaten, and they cannot be used. They are just pure decorations.
But this grizzly bear obviously has a different aesthetic sense.
He almost lay on these gems, his eyes flickering, drooling, his whole body trembling with joy, and he laughed strangely from time to time: "Hey, listen to the king, I can eat my fill... Forty percent of these treasures will go to Lord Black Cloud, thirty percent to the king, and thirty percent to myself... Oh, I'm really rich, rich!"
The corner of Lu Yi's mouth twitched?
What?
Mr. Heiyun can only get 40%?
Such a big event was created in the name of celebrating Heiyun Jun’s success, but in the end Heiyun Jun could only get 40%?
You, General Yiya, and the Black Wind King behind you, are you stupid or... too smart?
Lu Yi coughed heavily.
General Youya suddenly raised his head, wiped the saliva from the corner of his mouth vigorously, and pretended to be dignified and stern: "Oh, the young shopkeeper Qian...ah, the previous shopkeeper Qian..."
"I am your Third Uncle." Lu Yi bowed to General Yiya and said, "My Third Uncle is old, so he has returned home to live out his days. From now on, all the activities of Qian Huluhao in Yunchaling will be decided by me and my elder brother."
Lu Yi was not polite either. He strode in front of General Yiya and poured the cloth bag in his hand onto the desk. With a "clatter", more than thirty fist-sized, milky white deep-sea gems with a radius of three feet rolled around on the desk, emitting glittering light in broad daylight. The gorgeous pearl light illuminated the entire hall.
"Hiss!" General Yuya took a deep breath and stood up subconsciously: "What kind of firelight is this?"
"Treasures!" Lu Yi pointed at the pearls and said calmly, "It's our first meeting. I hope you can take care of me in the future... If you can take care of Qian Huluhao, as long as the business of Qian Huluhao is done well, I will definitely benefit from you in the future!"
Lu Yi saw through the nature of General Yiya.
A little stupid, greedy, and a fool... You say this kind of monster is difficult to deal with? He has a strong wildness and bestiality, and is really difficult to deal with.
But you say he is easy to deal with... As long as you find out his appetite and his hobbies, and stroke his fur as hard as you can, he will be satisfied!
“Benefits?” General Yuya raised his head suddenly, widened his eyes as much as he could, and grinned: “Shopkeeper Xiao Qian? You are an interesting, hey, hey, good person, good person, a real good person!”
"Well, this time we're holding a banquet to celebrate Heiyun Jun's success. You have a seat at the banquet. Hey, hey, such a wonderful treasure, such a wonderful fire, such a bright bead, hey, hey..."
General Youya was so distressed that his face twitched: "Forty percent goes to Lord Black Cloud, thirty percent goes to King Black Wind, I can only take thirty percent, thirty percent..."
Lu Yi looked at General Yiya and couldn't help but complain in his heart.
How do the old monsters in Yunchaling teach their children?
With this kind of performance, isn't General Youya afraid that he will be cheated and sold as a piglet?
Shaking his head, Lu Yi turned over his palm and there was another white bag in his hand. He leaned over the desk and another pile of thumb-sized sea pearls in colors of gold, red, blue and scarlet slid out of his pocket with a "clatter".
Although these sea pearls are only the size of a thumb, they are round and flawless. They are the top-grade 'rolling beads' among all the gems. Moreover, each of them is shining with brilliance, contains divine power, surges with the rhythm of Tao, and condenses with spiritual energy. Each of them is a top-grade good product that can be used for refining tools or pills, or even directly taken to improve one's cultivation.
"These are my humble gift to you, General." Lu Yi said calmly, "It's just a small gift, not worth much, General, just accept it."
General Youya was stunned. He slowly raised his head and looked at Lu Yi deeply.
The two fat bear paws were firmly pressed on the pearls. General Youya said in a deep voice: "Good brother, you are indeed a good brother... In this case, as your brother, I will not be polite... Well, I will give you a good seat at Lord Black Cloud's celebration banquet... Just sit next to me!"
"Hey, what kind of business do you guys do at Qian Huluhao? If you need my help, just ask!" General Yuya smiled at Lu Yi sincerely and said, "From now on, your business will be my business!"
A quarter of an hour later, Lu Yi staggered out of the Patrol General's Mansion in a triumphant manner.
He found King Chunlan and told him what happened in the general's mansion... King Chunlan's face twitched suddenly and he almost vomited blood!