Chapter 92: No Qualification to Care
While Kong Nanzhu was chatting with Shen Jun in the ward, Qin Qi hid in the fire escape to smoke.
He was very tired , so tired that he could fall asleep leaning against the wall in the blink of an eye. He didn't want to show it in front of Shen Jun and Kong Nanzhu, the two most important women to him. Although he wanted to seize the opportunity to say a few more words to Kong Nanzhu or even look at her a few more times, he still chose to hide.
These days he has been working overtime to familiarize himself with the company's business, many professional terms and jargon, as well as the trends in domestic and international markets. There are too many things he doesn't understand, so he can only take private lessons after he returns home.
He has been carrying so many halos that everyone takes it for granted that he can do everything well. Even if he shows ignorance and confusion in areas he has never been exposed to, others will not be tolerant and understanding.
Thousands of eyes in the company were staring at him, and there was also a group of ferocious cousins at home who were always waiting to laugh at him.
The pressure he endured during this period reached the peak of his life.
His love life suffered a heavy blow and his family was diagnosed with cancer. He had to change his mindset, abandon some of his idealistic pursuits and face reality.
He suspended all his acting appointments, including his next film, and paid a huge amount of liquidated damages, an amount that even exceeded his salary for the film "Northward".
According to the original plan, he would start shooting a new movie about the Republic of China in July. This was a role type he had never tried before, and he had always wanted to challenge roles set in different eras. However, ever since he and Kong Nanzhu began to show signs of conflict, he began to hesitate whether to withdraw from the show.
The closed filming would block his chance to meet Kong Nanzhu, and there would be even less he could do for Kong Nanzhu.
In the past, no matter where he went or how long he was away, he never worried because he knew in his heart that Kong Nanzhu would be waiting for him.
After thinking about this clearly, Qin Qi further realized how much of a bastard he was.
While he unscrupulously enjoyed Kong Nanzhu's preference and indulgence towards him, he still had doubts and questions about her feelings. He knew that Kong Nanzhu loved him, but he didn't know how to cherish and grasp it. He tested her sincerity and forced her to choose between him and Shen Jun.
He arrogantly and willfully forced Kong Nanzhu to walk towards him step by step, but he himself refused to take even one step forward.
Now she left without hesitation, he wanted to chase her, but she no longer needed it.
Shen Jun was ill, and the company needed someone to take over. The time left for him was limited, and he did not have the time or energy to spend four or five months in closed-door filming.
After finishing his cigarette, Qin Qi overcame the sleepiness he had just felt and prepared to go to the bathroom to wash his face so that he would look less haggard. Just as he opened the door of the fire escape a crack, he heard Kong Nanzhu making a phone call in the corridor.
"I'm in the hospital, why don't you just go home and wait for me?"
"I'm not hungry, so you don't have to cook for me. I was in a hurry to go out, and your clothes are not in the washing machine yet. Remember to hang them up when you get home."
Qin Qi's eyes went dark, and the blood in his body instantly coagulated. The veins on the back of his hand that was gripping the door handle bulged.
She lives with someone else?
who?
Qin Qi comforted himself, maybe it was Xu Qingqing again. But the strength of this comfort was really not strong.
With a creaking sound, the iron door of the fire escape moved loudly. Kong Nanzhu turned around and saw Qin Qi walking towards him in a daze. He whispered goodbye into the microphone and hung up the phone in a hurry.
"I was just about to look for you. Dad said you guys have a lunch party at noon, so he asked you to go home and change your clothes and take a rest. He will go back to the company to take care of some things, so you can meet at the restaurant directly."
Ever since Shen Jun was hospitalized, Kong Nanzhu has been feeling a little guilty towards Qin Qi. It was like raining cats and dogs. If they hadn't divorced yet, she could still help Qin Qi share more of the burden as a companion. She couldn't help with the company's business, but at least Qin Qi could have someone to take care of his daily life.
Over the years, caring for Qin Qi has become an instinct for Kong Nanzhu. She can never be cruel to this man, and cannot ignore his existence. She can draw a clear line between herself and him in terms of identity, but she cannot dig out her heart and erase the name that is engraved on her heart.
Kong Nanzhu thought sadly that if there really was such an operation in the world that could erase Qin Qi from her mind, then the memories she had left might be scattered, and she might not even be able to piece together a complete self, this person who had accompanied her for two-fifths of her life.
Even if we don't meet, I can see you with my eyes closed.
Qin Qi appeared every day after Kong Nanzhu turned fourteen.
At this moment, Kong Nanzhu looked at the fatigue in Qin Qi's eyes and couldn't help but want to ask him to cancel the dinner and go home to rest quickly. But then she thought again, she no longer had the identity to say such things. She couldn't tell whether she was giving up resistance or it was sympathy that was at work. She had to be more cautious at this time.
Before she had thought it through, she didn't want Qin Qi to have any misunderstandings, thinking that their relationship could still return to the way it was before.
Qin Qi really wanted to ask her who she was talking to on the phone just now, but if he asked such a question, wouldn’t it seem like he was interfering in her privacy again?
He no longer had the right to interfere in her life.
Both of them were trapped in the embarrassing situation of divorce.
I have no right to care and no reason to ask.
Qin Qi's heart seemed to have fallen into a chaotic bottomless pit. He couldn't find a way out, so he could only grit his teeth and swallow all his questions back into his stomach.
"good."
Kong Nanzhu looked at his shaky figure and couldn't help but asked with concern: "I heard from mom that you went back to the company."
Qin Qi stood still, "Yeah."
Qin Qi's brief reply made it impossible for the conversation to continue, but his behavior and actions seemed to indicate that he still wanted to say something to Kong Nanzhu, so Kong Nanzhu did not immediately return to the ward but stood there looking at him.
Looking at him from such a close distance, Kong Nanzhu could not conceal the tiredness on Qin Qi's body. He felt that he was even thinner than when he was filming "Going North". The sides of his cheeks were even slightly sunken, and his eyes were covered by a layer of indissoluble sorrow.
The Qin Qi in front of him did not look like a 22-year-old young man. His experience was indeed much richer than his peers. In the past few months, he graduated, divorced, took care of patients, and started the business of a trading company from scratch. You can imagine how busy he was.
Kong Nanzhu felt a little guilty, but she couldn't foresee the various unexpected events, which seemed to have put a lot of psychological pressure on him.
"You should also take care to rest and take your time with work."
Qin Qi looked at her with a complicated look, "Okay, I know."
After a pause, he added, "You too."
They were polite but distant, maintaining an appropriate distance, and even their concern seemed particularly polite.
Kong Nanzhu couldn't stand the low-pressure communication atmosphere and turned to leave. Qin Qi's body swayed slightly, and he reacted quickly and held the wall with his hands to prevent himself from falling. Kong Nanzhu was tripped when he was about to leave, and he instinctively went up to hold him.
Qin Qi couldn't help but hold his breath when he smelled the fragrance of powder on Kong Nanzhu's body. This fragrance repeatedly appeared in his dreams and thoughts. It was faint but extremely tempting. Qin Qi's mouth was dry and he tensed all his muscles and dared not move.
He really wanted to absorb more of this lingering scent from Kong Nanzhu.
Kong Nanzhu tentatively reached out and touched Qin Qi's forehead, then touched his own forehead with his backhand. After confirming that he did not have a fever, he frowned and said, "You should go back and rest first."
Kong Nanzhu didn't know that after her hand touched Qin Qi's forehead, Qin Qi even forgot to blink, and he felt a strange feeling as if an electric shock passed through his body.
She just touched him lightly, and the stimulation of Kong Nanzhu's body fragrance in her nostrils made Qin Qi react shamefully.
Qin Qi cursed in his heart.
Grass.
Even he himself didn't know that he was so hungry and thirsty.
Kong Nanzhu watched his expression change in an instant and thought he was really feeling unwell. Just as he was about to call for the nurse to help him, Qin Qi leaned forward, bent over and lay on Kong Nanzhu's shoulder.
The nearly 1.9-meter-tall figure and weight half pressed on Kong Nanzhu's small body. Kong Nanzhu was startled, but did not dodge. He asked nervously, "Are you dizzy? Can you hold on for a while? I'll go call a doctor."
Kong Nanzhu had no doubts because she could feel Qin Qi's heart beating strongly and at an abnormally fast frequency.
"Need not."
Qin Qi took deep breaths greedily, like a drug addict who was high, absorbing the supplies that could bring him happiness and comfort as if he were craving for drugs.
He wanted to let the smell linger in his senses and be engraved in his mind in this brief moment of tenderness, so that the beautiful and romantic dream in the evening could continue.
