Chapter 9 Give Me a Chance
I quickly looked around and luckily no one was around. I sneaked up to the roof of my building and said, "It's you, what's wrong?" Qiu Jieqin replied with three words on the phone: "Why?"
I hesitated for a moment and explained carefully: "I...I don't think it's appropriate for us to do that."
"Inappropriate? What's inappropriate about it?"
"Look, we are neither husband and wife nor lovers. Isn't it inappropriate to do something beyond friendship?"
"Then why did you kiss me? And take off my clothes? And you...you even touched me. Are these super-friendly behaviors appropriate?"
I blushed and said quickly, "Well... I was drunk, and alcohol can make people lose their temper..."
"Excuses! Stop pretending! Humph, alcohol can make people lose control of their minds, so why don't you continue? Why do you run away halfway through? You, what do you think of me? Woo... Woo..." As she said this, she actually started to cry.
I was so exhausted by her crying that I was at a loss. Fortunately, I was not with her at the moment, otherwise I really didn't know how to deal with it. I had to beg for mercy: "I'm sorry, please stop crying, can't I apologize to you?"
"I don't want it, wuwu... You know what I want, wuwu..."
I had no choice but to say, "Qiu Jieqin, calm down. You are an adult. Don't you know that lust and love are two different things? We just drank a few more glasses last night and acted on impulse. In fact, there is no love between us. Fortunately, nothing has really happened between us. Otherwise, it would be irresponsible to both you and me."
"Who said there's no feelings? At least I love you!"
"but I……"
"Why? Am I so unworthy of your love? What's not good enough about me? Why do I love you so hard but never really impress you?" As she said this, she started to sob again.
I was also very troubled and kept persuading Qiu Jieqin to stop crying. Qiu Jieqin sobbed a few times and asked me again: "You, you have a woman you like, right? Don't lie to me."
"No, in the past few years, I have rarely interacted with women, and I really have never liked anyone."
"So, do you hate me?"
"No, ever since our long chat on graduation night, it's impossible for me to hate you. I just can't...can't...well, you know it yourself."
"I know you're still wary of me and can't trust me completely, so you can never fall in love with me. But why don't you give me a chance? Since you don't have anyone you like and you don't have a girlfriend, why don't you try to date me? Maybe I can change your mind and make you fall in love with me? Give me a chance! Just once!"
I didn't know how to answer her. On the night of graduation eight years ago, Qiu Jieqin confessed all her feelings and longing for me. I was very moved at the time, but I was just moved and didn't accept her. Eight years later, she confessed to me again and asked me to give her a chance.
I was in a dilemma. I felt sorry for her for eight years and she still loved me. But I was also conflicted. This woman's personality and temper were actually totally different from mine. If I really continued to date her, I didn't know what would happen. It was a dilemma!
Qiu Jieqin continued, "Is it so difficult to give me a chance? Tang Qian, you have never tried, so how can you say that we are not suitable? You can try to date me with an indifferent attitude. If I can't impress you, you can stop at any time and break up. Since I have tried my best, I have no regrets if it doesn't work, and I will never pester you again. But if you don't give me a chance, I will not be willing to give up. I will keep pestering you. Then, you will hate me even more, and I will be depressed for the rest of my life. Can you bear it?"
I was stunned and thought: Yes! If a person is depressed for a lifetime because of one thing, what a regretful life that is! Can I really bear to do this to her?
But when I really made up my mind to accept her, my heart still felt very empty and I always felt that I couldn't be happy. This empty feeling and the pity for Qiu Jieqin were fighting in my heart, and I could not make up my mind.
Qiu Jieqin was still begging on the phone: "Tang Qian! Give me a chance, I will seize it, and I will make you feel that your decision is right..."
I interrupted her and said, "Qiu Jieqin, how about this, give me some time to think about it, and I will give you an answer, okay?"
"Well... that's fine, but it can't be too long. I can't wait another eight years."
I couldn't help but laugh at her sad words: "Don't worry, I'll be there soon."
She suddenly changed her crying tone and became relaxed: "Then, before you answer me, let's be ordinary friends first. Xu Shu will be performing at the concert tomorrow night. I will wait for you at the entrance of the stadium. I will take you to the best spot so that you can feel Xu Shu's passion and unrestrainedness."
"Concert? I'm not going. I gave all five tickets to my sister. There's no share for me. Besides, I'm not really interested in pop songs. It doesn't matter."
Qiu Jieqin seemed very surprised: "That's Xu Shu? Don't you like her?"
I asked, “Do I have to like it?”
"Among the men I know, there is not a single one who is not a fanatical admirer of Xu Shu. They all love her to the core. This includes my father. Humph, don't you see how obsessed he is? He doesn't look like a man in his 40s. He looks very young."
I have seen many cases of people worshipping Xu Shu and liking Xu Shu . I have a top-level admirer in my family. I am used to seeing many fanatical behaviors. Do you want to say that I don't like Xu Shu? That's not necessarily true, because when a girl is beautiful to that level, men are no longer immune. I have also admired the greatness of God for creating such a flawless and perfect human being. But that is just appreciation at most. I never worship anyone. My temper and personality determine that I will look at everything rationally and will not do something meaningless and unrealistic.
Of course, I have other quirks, which I won’t talk about here. I looked at my watch and realized that the call had been going on for a long time, and my family was waiting for the breakfast I bought, so I said, “Let’s leave it at that for now. I’ll call you after I’ve thought it through in a few days.”
"Oh, then you must keep your word!"
"I promise! Bye."
"goodbye."
I took back my phone and found that the breakfast I bought was cold. Now my mother and younger sister are going to nag me again. Oh! What a headache!
At noon, my colleague Li Xiaoling called me again to comfort me and informed me what had happened in the company in the past two days. She then hinted in a very obscure way that she really cared about me and was willing to help me, etc.
As usual, I just laughed it off .
In the evening, Cao Ziping, who was far away in Shenzhen, called me and said that he had heard that I was laid off and asked me what happened. I briefly explained the situation. Manager Cao, who knew me well, also understood that this was an inevitable outcome. He sighed a few times and suggested that I go to Shenzhen to work with him.
I am really grateful. Manager Cao is the only leader in the company who values and appreciates me. When he was sent to Shenzhen a year ago, he mentioned to me that he wanted to take me with him to start a business. At that time, my father had a gallstone operation and needed someone to take care of him, so I did not accept it. But a year later, when I was at the lowest point in my career, he extended an invitation to me again and wanted to help me out of the predicament. I was really moved by such a deep leader. I was also very tempted to go to Shenzhen to work with him. If my father had not been in poor health for many years and my younger sister was going to take the college entrance examination next year, I really wanted to agree immediately. But after I leave, the burden of life will be on my mother, and I can't bear it.
I didn't agree or refuse, but just asked me to think about it and discuss it with my family. Cao Ziping didn't force me, and after chatting with me for a few more words, he hung up the phone.
I sat in my room, smoking a cigarette and thinking.
The door of the girl's room next door was not closed properly. She was playing a CD player, and a lingering love song by Xu Shu slowly reached my ears:
When I decided to love,
But my heart is empty.
I can’t see what the hazy future will look like.
When I decided to love,
But I felt confused in my heart.
I don’t know how melancholy there is in the world of love.
…
The song was so sad and touching that it deeply moved me, who was not interested in music. It was the first time I felt that a person could sing to such a level that it could not only resonate with the listeners, but also affect their emotions.
I thought of many things while singing...
