Chapter 9: An Analogy
Hu Jiao lived a happy life in the following days.
Of course, there is still no such thing as something with words on it, except for those who write it themselves.
Singing is also annoying. I have to sing the same songs over and over again dozens of times a day. How can I not be annoyed?
After the daze, Gou Rixin's memory was like a fake battery, flashing out from time to time, either about stealing or the affairs between men and women.
Hu Jiao calmed down, but he still had time to kill.
So I can only play with myself. How to play?
Simple.
The left hand is chatting with the right hand, playing two roles, one is noble and the other is a rogue.
The left hand is full of foul language.
The right hand speaks facts, explains reasons, and speaks in a literary manner.
They were talking at cross purposes and got angry, so they started hitting each other with their left hand, just like the naughty boy trapped on Peach Blossom Island.
I failed to practice the left-right fighting style, but instead I worked out some interesting hand gestures.
For example, stretch out the thumb, index finger and middle finger of your left hand, and the ring finger and little finger of your right hand, and then shout "three, two, three, two" and switch left and right. You may be unfamiliar with it at first and often get your fingers mixed up. All kinds of ugly claw shapes can also make people happy.
It wouldn't be a big deal for Hu Jiao to play like this, but it caused trouble for several people.
Armed police guarding the gate.
The armed police work in shifts, and it just so happened that the person in charge of Hu Jiao was a comrade from the same shift. Six armed police soldiers worked in shifts, two people in a shift for eight hours.
Speaking of which, the armed police are not as old as Hu Jiao. They are eighteen or nineteen years old, at the age when they love to dance, sing and make noise. Since they were recruited, they have been on duty every day without any rest.
In addition, he also has to participate in drills, study, and rest on a daily basis. When you calculate the time, he doesn't have much more freedom than Hu Jiao.
When Hu Jiao started singing, his friends were very surprised, especially the songs that would become popular in the future, which made them admire him very much.
Privately, the soldiers in the same squad discussed, is this guy going crazy? But he is very talented, what a pity.
After listening to it dozens of times a day, the young soldiers gradually learned Hu Jiao's songs.
Compared with other comrades, they gained a lot. They hummed a few lines from time to time, which made other soldiers uncomfortable.
I originally thought that I could learn a few more songs from Hu Jiao, but unexpectedly, Hu Jiao started to "talk nonsense".
The symptoms are quite serious.
After the incident lasted for a week, they quickly reported it to the organization, but the reply was: don't care, don't ask, don't listen, don't look.
From then on, the young soldiers began to worry.
This would make anyone feel uncomfortable. It was okay at night, as Hu Jiao slept soundly, but since he woke up in the morning, his ears had been restless.
How can it sound like "several people" quarreling when it is clearly one person? There are intellectuals who go to the street to buy vegetables and have disputes with farmers; there are cadres who have conflicts with village hooligans when they go to the countryside for inspection; there are disciplined people with a strong sense of justice who educate the habitual offenders who refuse to change; there are righteous people who severely rebuke the hooligans who molest decent women; there are also senior cadres who criticize the work style, personal life , and moral character of junior cadres, etc.
But every time justice is defeated by evil tricks, this incident makes several soldiers indignant and stand up for justice. Do they doubt that the outlook on life they have established since childhood is wrong?
Could it be that the comrade locked in this room is an actor from the art troupe?
Hey, with this level, whether playing any musical instrument or singing, he is at least a second-level actor.
After singing, we listened to dramas, and after dramas, we listened to swearing. Especially the long speeches of Marxist-Leninist swearing. Several young soldiers secretly stuck out their tongues when they heard it. Compared with the instructor, it was at least a few steps higher.
On this day, it was the turn of two Sichuan fellow villagers to be on duty, one named Li Youcai and the other named Wang Changjun. According to discipline, they must adhere to four principles when guarding detainees: don't care, don't ask, don't listen, and don't look.
It's easy to just ignore it and not ask or look at it, but if they don't listen, there's nothing we can do.
Starting at nine o'clock in the morning, Hu Jiao suddenly opened the door. On the left was Li Youcai, who was short and thin, with no flesh on his face, just skin and bones, with a tense face and eyes looking straight ahead.
Wang Changjun on the right is tall and thin, with slightly fair skin, delicate features, and a bit of the air of a scholar soldier.
Hu Jiao looked around and leaned against the door. A circle of beard covered his upper lip and his hair was messy. At first glance, he really had the temperament of a performance artist.
Hu Jiao didn't say anything, his eyes turned around.
After watching Li Youcai, watch Wang Changjun.
It was as if the two people's faces were filled with wonderful stories. I watched them with great interest, great fun, and great patience.
But Li Youcai and Wang Changjun were worried.
If there is a lunatic like this who can sing, talk and make noise, and he stares at you with ambiguous eyes for less than three minutes, who wouldn't feel uneasy?
But they have discipline.
You are not allowed to ask questions and it is strictly forbidden to communicate with the person being guarded.
Hu Jiao was simply bored. He felt that during this period of time, he had sung all the songs he wanted to sing and said all the words he wanted to say.
He also knew that the armed police outside would not talk to him, so he was too lazy to say anything. After thinking about it, the only person who could interest him in this environment was the armed police brother.
Five minutes.
Li Youcai's face began to flush, and his eyes, which had been looking straight ahead, drooped slightly. Wang Changjun had already lowered his head and began to study the shape of his toes.
Ten minutes.
A layer of sweat broke out on Li Youcai's forehead, and Wang Changjun turned his head to observe the patterns on the lime wall.
Twelve minutes.
Li Youcai pursed his lips and Wang Changjun's eyes turned red.
Hu Jiao quickly smiled and put on his most gentle expression, "Haha, you two, I won't embarrass you. You want to smoke? I don't think this violates the rules, right?"
Wang Changjun hurriedly took out a pack of cigarettes from his trouser pocket, took out one, paused, and then handed the whole pack to Hu Jiao.
Hu Jiao took it, took out a cigarette, and returned it to Wang Changjun, making a lighter gesture.
Li Youcai had taken the lighter in his hand without knowing when, and he quickly lit it up and held it in both hands to light the cigarette for Hu Jiao.
This person is smart and steady.
How could Hu Jiao smoke?
The smoke is sucked in the mouth, rolled around, and then exhaled.
After this scene was over, the two thought that Hu Jiao should go into the house, right?
Hu Jiao didn't leave. He leaned against the door and smoked, but he no longer stared at them. His eyes were dull and his head was tilted back, as if he was thinking about some serious problem.
The two looked at each other helplessly.
Hu Jiao sighed deeply, "Do you two have girlfriends?"
After looking at each other again, Li Youcai smiled at Wang Changjun and whispered, "You chat with him for a few minutes. I'll keep an eye on him."
He also really felt compassion for Hu Jiao. He had been locked up for more than two months without any care or even books to read. He usually listened to him talking and singing, so he no longer considered Hu Jiao a prisoner.
Wang Changjun smiled bitterly, nodded and said to Li Youcai, "If you have any problems, knock twice and say I'm going in to check."
Li Youcai nodded. He was a more introverted person, while Wang Changjun was much more cheerful.
Wang Changjun walked into the room, pulled Hu Jiao, and then closed the door .
Hu Jiao kept smiling. This was a good trick. Of course, he remembered that the prisoners in the detention center used this trick to deal with the armed police guarding the detention center when they were extremely bored.
First we chatted and built relationships, and then asked the armed police to help bring a pack of cigarettes or something.
Wang Changjun stood, refusing to sit down. "Nothing to do. Just chatting with you for a few minutes."
Hu Jiao was tall, half leaning on the bed, "You are a handsome guy, how many girlfriends have you had?"
Wang Changjun grinned, "I just mentioned one, a local one."
“How is it going?”
"good."
Hu Jiao was unhappy. What do you mean it’s okay?
"Hold hands? Kissed? Or had sex?"
Wang Changjun smiled shyly, looking a little sweet, "We held hands, and... kissed."
Hu Jiao asked casually, "Did you do it?"
Wang Changjun shook his head, regretfully, "No."
Hu Jiao learned a Sichuanese phrase, "What's up?"
Wang Changjun rubbed his face and said, "So conservative, you have to get married before you can do it, several times... Hehe."
Hu Jiao also rubbed his face, "You can't do it, you can't do it."
Wang Changjun was not convinced, "What are you talking about! I've already touched it thoroughly, but you still won't let me fix it."
"It still won't work. It still won't work."
Wang Changjun pouted, "You have to be good? I'm afraid you have touched it before."
Hu Jiao made an "eight" hand shape in front of Wang Changjun, shaking it back and forth, "Eight times a night! Fuck your ancestors for coaxing you."
Wang Changjun looked at Hu Jiao in surprise, "Eight times? That's amazing!"
Hu Jiao looked at him with contempt, "Are you incapable of doing this?"
"Is it fun?"
Hu Jiao shook his finger. "This depends on your own experience."
Wang Changjun was unwilling to accept it, "Eight times, it must be fun to mess with a dog, if it's not fun, why would it have to be eight times?"
Hu Jiao was like a well-fed little fox, "Teach you a couple of moves?"
Wang Changjun thought for a moment and said, "Youcai... is the guy outside. He taught me a few things, but it didn't work. He just talked a lot but didn't make any real progress."
Hu Jiao was surprised. The guy at the door, Brother Youcai, was skinny and had dry muscles, but was he actually a master?
"Bragging, I don't believe it!"
Wang Changjun shouted, "Li Youcai, come in here!"
Li Youcai pushed open the door and looked at Wang Changjun complainingly. He had heard everything just now. "Who will guard the door when I come in?"
Hu Jiao waved his hand, "It's okay, just open it and aim, no one will come. He just said, you are a master?" Then he pointed at Wang Changjun.
Li Youcai shook his head and looked at Wang Changjun. "Wang Changjun, you are a dog. You are talking nonsense. It is unacceptable. It is absolutely unacceptable."
Wang Changjun was anxious, "You bastard! You're lying!"
Li Youcai's face flushed again, and Hu Jiao laughed, "Changjun, he must have made up a story and replaced the lascivious male protagonist with himself."
Li Youcai was not convinced. His mouth was full of lard, but he still said that I had never eaten meat. "June, Changjun, you know, that night, I brought Wu Xiaohong to open the store."
Now, the two audience members were interested. Hu Jiao asked, "What next?"
Li Youcai chuckled a few times and said, "No more, no more, that's it."
Wang Changjun got anxious again, "You bastard! Wu Xiaohong? I don't believe it at all!"
Li Youcai rolled his eyes and said, believe it or not.
Hu Jiao decided to take a roundabout approach, "Who is Wu Xiaohong?"
Wang Changjun licked his lips and said, "I work at the guesthouse, as a cashier in the lobby. I'm still Suohua. My child is three years old now."
Hu Jiao was surprised. "Married? And have a baby?"
Wang Changjun stared at Li Youcai, "Of course not! If you say someone else, I believe you, but if you say Wu Xiaohong, I will never believe you! With your skinny body, how can anyone respect you?"
Hu Jiao hurriedly advised, "You can't judge a person by his appearance, and you can't measure the depth of the ocean. It's hard to say, hard to say."
Li Youcai was grateful for Hu Jiao's understanding and glanced at Wang Changjun, "So you didn't bring your gun license and refused to believe it. If you find a target but can't shoot, you'll suffocate your kid."
Wang Changjun also blushed, "Bullshit! I touched her three times and she was wet."
Hu Jiao and Li Youcai looked at him with disdain. Wang Changjun said hastily, "Really? Which bastard lied? He took off his pants twice..."
Hu Jiao asked, "And then?"
Wang Changjun was silent, and Li Youcai attacked, "Tell me, then what?"
"I, I wanted to rush, and I rushed, but she twisted and twisted, and then she slipped, and then she started crying. I was scared."
The two listeners who were enjoying the show shook their heads together. The show started well but ended badly. They deserted at the last minute and were dragged out and shot!
Li Youcai said, "Look, the rooster is still stubborn even when it's shitting. It's just talk."
Wang Changjun felt deeply ashamed, unworthy of the cultivation of the Party and the country, and failed the expectations of his fellow villagers.
Li Youcai continued to criticize, "At this time! We can't let up!"
Hu Jiao quickly cooperated, "That's right, you have to be as aggressive as a blind man beating a woman, don't let up."
Li Youcai was a little excited. "She was obviously wet from your touch, which means she is aroused! At this critical moment, you must remember that when a woman says no, it means yes! When a woman says no, it means yes! When a woman says bad, it means good! Everything a woman says, you must understand it the other way around!"
Hu Jiao interrupted, "Hey, hey, we should seek truth from facts and not do whatever we want. Although Brother Changjun didn't succeed, it was only due to personal technical reasons and had nothing to do with ideology."
Li Youcai looked at Wang Changjun, feeling indignant that he didn't fight back. "If you had grabbed her butt with both hands at that time... for example, you would have replaced the moving target with a fixed target, understand?"
Although Wang Changjun is tall and handsome, he appears to be very humble in front of experts. "I understand!"
Li Youchang stood on tiptoe and patted Wang Changjun on the shoulder. "Not bad. I guarantee you will succeed in shooting next time."
Wang Changjun's face suddenly turned red with embarrassment. Hu Jiao looked at him carefully and suddenly said, "Brother Changjun, you wouldn't... ejaculate as soon as you touch him, right?"
Wang Changjun lowered his head and continued to feel ashamed, deeply ashamed.
Li Youcai was also surprised, but looking at Wang Changjun's expression, he didn't need to guess, it must be the truth. However, from the perspective of his comrades, he had to analyze it, "You are nervous! At that time, you must not be nervous, you must relax and distract your attention... For example, this is different from target shooting. Target shooting requires a high degree of concentration and full focus on the target, but this matter is different, it is exactly the opposite, understand?"
Wang Changjun shook his head. Li Youcai hated him for not fighting back. He couldn't help but jump up and slap Wang Changjun's head. "You are stupid! Give me another example. When you are about to do that thing, are you particularly excited?"
Wang Changjun nodded.
"Are you particularly nervous?"
Still nodded.
"The first time, you came as soon as you touched it, and the second time, you came as soon as you touched it again, so you thought to yourself at that time that you must not come, right?"
Wang Changjun's eyes were full of stars, which was really admirable! He was able to see through everything like a candle shining for thousands of miles, and he could see the smallest details!
Li Youcai seemed to understand the praise in Wang Changjun's eyes, and raised his chin again, "At this time, you need to distract yourself, but how do you distract yourself? For example, when you are eating, you think about pooping, and think about the green liquid poop of a baby. Can you still eat?"
Hu Jiao felt a chill in his heart, Wang Changjun shook his head hurriedly, and Li Youcai was extremely proud, "That's right! It's useless to think about ordinary things, because what you see with your eyes and touch with your hands will make your imagination disappear instantly! So, when doing that thing, if you want to distract yourself, you have to think about something exciting."
Wang Changjun humbly asked, "Youcai, what were you thinking about when you did that?"
Li Youcai narrowed his eyes. "At first, I wanted to sing the song of the Yangtze River, but I could only sing it for a few minutes. Later, I wanted to sing the Dugu Nine Swords in The Smiling, Proud Wanderer, and I could sing it for more than ten minutes. Starting from March this year, I want to be the squad leader to carry out the shooting mission!"
Wang Changjun was shocked, but Hu Jiao was not. Wang Changjun explained, "This March, the city executed six criminals. Our squad leader caught a eunuch and shot him three times, so the forensic doctor counted it. For three consecutive months, the squad leader vomited when he saw meat."
Li Youcai smiled proudly, "When I did that, I thought about the squad leader shooting someone. As long as I thought about it, it would work immediately. Just think about it, that day, the squad leader's face turned green. He shot someone in the head, leaving a hole as big as a bowl..."
Hu Jiao's face turned pale, and Wang Changjun's face was snow-white.
Li Youcai said, "When I think about executing someone, I don't mind how long I can hold out."
Hu Jiao's face turned pale. Thinking about it, he wanted to shoot someone while doing that. Then he looked at Li Youcai and cursed in his heart, you are so talented!
Li Youcai said, "For example, before you go in, the squad leader pulls the trigger, and as soon as you go in, the squad leader's gun goes off, bang! The bullet goes into your heart and then flies out, blood and flesh fly everywhere..."
Wang Changjun said with a bitter face, "I, I quit."
