The past memories were not erased, but deliberately covered up, allowing Qin Moyu to remember roughly what happened, but the details and emotions were blurred.

The memory is hazy, and it seems like I have returned to that day.

The air was filled with the smell of earth washed by rain. When he drove back, he had already passed the dormitory access control. Qin Moyu had to drag his tired body on the road to find a hotel with available rooms.

The city was still brightly lit at night, but not a single light was lit for Qin Moyu.

In the dim light, his solitary figure looked particularly lonely.

The long journey and fatigue made Qin Moyu's feet hurt every step he took, but no matter how painful it was, it couldn't hurt more than when he learned the news of the dean's death.

Pack your things, buy tickets, go to the funeral home...

Until the dean's body was pushed into the incinerator, Qin Moyu still didn't recover from the bad news. He hugged the dean's urn and sat blankly for a long time until the ringtone on his phone reminded him of the time to catch the train. He just left as if he had lost his soul.

The dean's death was like a whirlpool, which not only took away Qin Moyu's only relative, but also swallowed up all his enthusiasm for life.

Qin Moyu knew that the director was in poor health. In order to raise the children in the orphanage, she always worked late to maintain the existence of the orphanage. She worked hard to send qualified children to adoptive families, but there were still a few The child was left behind.

All of these children had congenital diseases and were abandoned, and were rejected by their adoptive families. They either died early in a winter, or left quietly in a hospital ward filled with disinfectant water.

——Only Qin Moyu is the only healthy child left.

In fact, it was very simple to find an adoptive family with Qin Moyu's appearance, but when the dean pushed Qin Moyu to her adoptive parents, Qin Moyu didn't cry or make trouble but just looked at her sadly, which made her unable to give up anymore. Qin Moyu left.

The small orphanage was once full of children's laughter and cries. In the end, only the dean and Qin Moyu were left to depend on each other. After learning that Qin Moyu was admitted to college, both of them were extremely happy.

Qin Moyu was happy that he could finally earn money to treat the dean and let her enjoy her old age in peace.

What the dean wanted was that Qin Moyu could finally live independently after leaving him.

"Come and see me after graduation."

Qin Moyu said to the dean on the other end of the phone, smiling shyly.

A smile also appeared on the dean's wrinkled face - years of exhausting labor had made her age at an alarming rate - only her eyes were still as kind and gentle as when Qin Moyu was a child.

"Okay, okay, okay..."

She was as happy as a child, and she reluctantly touched the phone until the phone hung up.

Just like the dean didn't tell Qin Moyu that his health was deteriorating, and he even fell down when he went out to buy groceries and couldn't get up for a long time, Qin Moyu never told the dean about the loneliness in his heart.

Due to poverty in his childhood, he matured early. Qin Moyu would do what he could to reduce the burden on the dean very early. He would do odd jobs during holidays. His busy life left him no time to understand the carefree preferences of his peers until When he was about to graduate from college, he suddenly looked back and realized that he didn't have a close friend around him.

Loneliness is not the devil that haunts you at any time, but the sourness that suddenly surges into your heart at an inadvertent moment.

——Maybe it’s the hot pot they eat alone, maybe it’s the movie they watch alone, or maybe it’s the smiles on their faces as they pass by on the road.

That slight envy turned into a needle pricking my heart.

It doesn't hurt, but it makes me want to cry.

The graduation ceremony I once longed for seemed less important without the person who was looking forward to it.

After graduation, no one in the group messaged the roommate who seemed to get along very well with her.

No one rejected Qin Moyu. He was the one who stood out from the crowd and became recognized as a busy person, so the invitation text message skipped a person from the address book by default.

Qin Moyu ended his college life hastily, found a stable job as the dean expected, and lived a simple life day after day.

He did not build a strong barrier for himself as he thought he would. Instead, he was like a deflated balloon, and the emptiness in his heart was like a tide, swallowing him up between ups and downs.

When did things start to get out of control?

Qin Moyu recovered from his daze and looked at the marks on his arm that he had scratched in disbelief.

One, two, three...

Qin Moyu's long-term depression led him to a dead end.

He desperately wanted to save himself, socializing crazily on the edge of the abyss of despair, looking for anything that might interest him.

But the short-term happiness could not cope with the huge emptiness that followed. Instead, it became more painful after each time ended. The emptiness and loneliness that almost swallowed him whole screamed for him to surrender.

"You look like you're about to cry."

Qin Moyu's scattered focus regrouped in a voice and settled on the face of the person in front of him.

Almost subconsciously, he raised a smile: "No, I'm very happy."

But the person in front of him touched his chin doubtfully, looked Qin Moyu up and down, tilted his head and said, "Then do you want to save the world?"

ah?

Qin Moyu was stunned by his sudden turn of events, and the next second a pot of plant was stuffed into his arms.

He lowered his head and saw a lotus flower in bud.

The blue petals are soft and light, and the body is slightly bowed as if to thank someone.

How rare, blue lotus.

This sentence flashed through Qin Moyu's mind, and then he reacted suddenly.

etc! Something seems wrong?

He raised his head, but there was no one in front of him.

That question can only echo in my heart.

——Can lotus flowers still be planted in earthen pots?

Qin Moyu carried the lotus back home in confusion and placed it on the bedside.

Insomnia is a common thing, but he doesn't want to take those sleep-aid drugs. Like a sick person who refuses to give up before being diagnosed, I can heal myself.

Qin Moyu turned over out of habit and opened his phone skillfully, trying to find something that could make him fall asleep from tiredness today.

My fingers slipped and I accidentally clicked on a novel. I thought I couldn't sleep anyway and might be tired from reading it, so I started reading chapter by chapter.

This is a very ordinary novel about cultivating immortals and upgrading. The only special thing is that this book is not finished, and the author's name is rather strange, called "Huahua, don't die."

Qin Moyu stared at the author's name for a few seconds. He turned his head and saw the lotus flower on his bedside. He found that the lotus flower bent over and looked more like it was about to die than to express gratitude.

"save the world……"

He murmured softly, then laughed to himself.

If I can't even save myself, how can I save the world?

Qin Moyu put the quilt over his head, closed his eyes, and whispered something before sleep came.

——"If you can really save it, then do it."

Half asleep and half awake, he seemed to hear the voice of the person during the day again.

"Great, my flower is saved."

Then, there is endless darkness.

…………

Forgotten, haunted by emptiness, surrounded by loneliness... all the memories and emotions return at this moment.

Qin Moyu opened his mouth, but found that he had lost his voice.

"He is not Gu Jia. 』

This realization sent shivers down Qin Moyu's spine. The smile in his memory was exactly the same as the smile on Gu Jia's face now, but when he thought about it carefully, he found that except for the curvature of the corners of the other person's lips, he couldn't even see his face clearly.

His heart seemed to be grasped by an invisible big hand, and he groaned under the load as he contracted his breathing. Qin Moyu couldn't bear it anymore and stumbled out.

After he left, "Gu Jia" stopped smiling. He looked at the door that Qin Moyu had knocked open. When he lay down again, he murmured to himself: "Secretly... it should be okay if I help."

There seemed to be something silent buzzing in the air. "Gu Jia" chuckled and closed his eyes.

When Xuan Qing planned to come to see his son, he saw Gu Jia, who had been unconscious for many days, sitting on the bed with confusion in his eyes.

Before Gu Jia could ask his father where he was, Xuan Qing quickly walked to the bedside to check his body, but was surprised to find that not only were all the injuries on Gu Jia's body healed, but the red lotus karma fire that had been flowing in his meridians had also disappeared. Gone.

While Xuan Qing was muttering something strange to himself, Gu Jia stared blankly at the door with a question in his mind.

——Has anyone been here?

…………

Shen Mo has been feeling uneasy since nightfall. This feeling did not disappear with the passage of time, but became more intense, even making him restless.

He thought about the things he had arranged recently, one by one, without any mistakes.

If the ceremony is okay...could it be...

Shen Mo's heart tightened, he didn't care about the things he had to deal with, he just couldn't wait to see Qin Moyu.

At first he thought Qin Moyu was with Master Xuanjing or Gu Jia, but when his spiritual consciousness swept over, no one was found. He immediately expanded the scope of his spiritual search and finally found Qin Moyu by a lake.

That lake was built by a certain emperor of the Southern Kingdom to please his concubine who liked to ride boats. However, due to some things, the relationship between the two broke up, and the lake became a taboo that could not be mentioned. Over time, it became abandoned.

Qin Moyu stood by the lake, calmly looking at the scenery.

But the deserted lake in front of him was filled with messy aquatic plants and green algae floating on the water. Not to mention the scenery, most people would feel tortured by staying in such a place for one second longer.

Qin Moyu looked like everything was normal, but when Shen Mo approached lightly, he could clearly hear his breathing that was heavier than usual.

With all the emotions of endurance, pain, and negativity, Qin Moyu's first reaction when he remembered it was not to go to Zhenren Xuanjing and Shen Mo, but to find a place where no one was around to calm down.

It's fine.

Qin Moyu told himself that he had persisted for so long and was no longer a lonely person in his previous life. He could get through it.

He thought he was still an impenetrable wall, but the fact was that he was defeated just by Shen Mo hugging him gently from behind.

"never mind……"

Shen Mo didn't know what Qin Moyu would encounter again. He just hugged Qin Moyu who was shaking unconsciously in his arms, and said with great distress: "I'm here."

Qin Moyu couldn't bear it anymore, turned around and hugged Shen Mo tightly.

During the days when the dean had just passed away, he woke up from his sleep countless times, looking for something in panic, but he still didn't know what he was looking for.

He didn't understand until now.

——All he is looking for is a hug.

In those loneliest days, if someone could give him a hug, wouldn't everything be different?

Fortunately, heaven shows mercy.

Qin Moyu, who was gradually losing his luster in the gray days, was firmly caught when he fell into another world.

Then tell him.

——It's okay, I'm here.