Chapter 8 Our Youth Has Changed Beyond Recognition
Hope is always demanding, but it should not be disappointed.
——Fang Weiyang
01
Summer passed and winter came. Fang Xuyu changed into a different windbreaker every day and wore the same black scarf, as if to remind me of the gift I had given him.
He asked me when my birthday was and I said I didn’t celebrate my birthday.
July sent me a text message saying that she would go to H City next month. Zhuang Nan was admitted to a famous university in Hangzhou. She planned to go there to accompany him because he was her only brother.
Our relationship became a little strange. She always said cold words with a smile on her face. The old man who always pestered her was taken to the police station. July approached him and got evidence of his money laundering.
I asked her what means she used, and she said she stayed with him for a night.
There was nothing unusual in her voice when she said this, but I felt a little unnatural when I heard it, and I felt infinite bitterness in my heart. Her hand was injured, and she could no longer play the guitar. She had few part-time singing jobs, and her way of making a living became very narrow. Even so, she never blamed me, but our friendship could never go back to the way it was before.
When July left, I went to see her off. I talked to her for a long time that day, and I was basically talking while she listened. Although I don’t know if she listened or not. However, just when I reminded her not to forget to bring motion sickness medicine, Lin Jiaxuan jumped out from the side angrily.
I had never expected him to show up, and just when I was about to question him, he thrust his cell phone in front of me and spoke in a voice as loud as a bell, filled with incomparable anger.
My phone was full of photos of Fang Xuyu, some sitting, some standing, some sleeping due to exhaustion. All of them were secretly taken. The backgrounds were mostly of hospitals. I recognized that was where I was hospitalized.
"Fang Weiyang, aren't you disgusted by pretending to be as good as a white lotus?" He spoke each word, his words like sharp knives, "You stole the man your best friend liked, broke your best sister's arm, and even came to say goodbye and comfort her hypocritically, you are really acting!"
"Lin Jiaxuan, what nonsense are you talking about!" July interrupted him anxiously.
For some reason, my brain suddenly lacked oxygen, and I couldn't figure out what he was referring to no matter how hard I tried.
"Huh? Then what do you mean by putting Fang Xuyu's photos in your blog with those disgusting texts? I cracked the password of your photo album, don't try to make excuses." He roared.
"You're investigating me behind my back?" Qi Yue spoke slowly, her voice as cold as ice. She stared at Lin Jiaxuan, as if she wanted to look a hole in his face.
"I care about you and I am always paying attention to you. Even if you treat me as a mad dog, I will still love you. Seeing you become like this, I feel sadder than anyone else!" Lin Jiaxuan looked at her righteously.
I listened silently, a feeling of timidity and embarrassment that I had never felt before rising from the soles of my feet to the top of my head. I stood there awkwardly, staring at them blankly, my palms sweating and my chest feeling empty and aching.
What are they talking about?
July likes Fang Xuyu?
Haha, isn't this funny? Is God playing a joke on me?
July didn’t bother with Lin Jiaxuan much. She asked him to step away first and wanted to talk to me.
We sat under the awning of a convenience store at the station, and she took two cans of Coke from the vending machine, opened the pull ring for me, and handed one to me.
"Is what he said true?" I didn't take the Coke. I stared blankly at the sign of the nearby convenience store. Lin Jiaxuan was leaning against the place where people were playing street basketball not far away, and his eyes kept glancing over here.
In fact, I don't care what Lin Jiaxuan's attitude towards me is. Some people change and they can't go back. But she is Qi Yue, how can I not care about her thoughts? Did she like Fang Xuyu? How come I didn't notice it at all? She even threatened me with surgery to make me be with Fang Xuyu.
I'm a pig-brained person, really stupid.
"Oh, yeah, anyway, quibbling is useless." She sat down opposite me and smiled awkwardly.
When I heard her admit it, I felt so ashamed that I couldn't face my face.
"When did it start?" I lowered my voice, bit my lip, and stared at my toes.
Yes, I couldn't understand or accept it. My best friend, who liked the person I was trying to date, never told me anything about her. We went from being close friends to being so distant from each other.
July paused, smiled and answered me: "Probably since he teased Zhong Man'er, I've felt that he is quite manly."
Looking at her nonchalant face, I raised my head, opened my eyes wide, and tried hard not to let my tears fall. Then, I said in a choked voice as if blaming her: "You should have told me."
"Oh, don't be like this. It's useless to tell you. It will only cause you more trouble." She said firmly, "Fang Xuyu loves you! Besides, my liking for him has nothing to do with him or you. You don't need to know."
Even so, if I knew what July was thinking in advance, I would definitely deliberately distance myself from Fang Xuyu.
I looked at her fair cheeks and said, "I feel bad."
"I feel bad too. Be good, I have more experience than you. Love is not something that can make a living. The person I like comes and goes quickly. There are plenty of fish in the sea. When I meet another handsome guy, I will forget about him." She tilted her head back and drank the can of Coke in one gulp, then crushed the can and threw it into the trash can next to her.
"But..." She was trying to comfort me.
Qiyue is a person who values friendship and loyalty. She must have said this to comfort me. She always protects me like this, but I have never done anything for her.
I looked at her left arm drooping due to lack of strength , and the feeling of sadness came over me again.
The departure time is being announced on the radio.
"No buts. Remember what you promised me. Treat him well. I'm leaving." She picked up her luggage and patted me on the shoulder. When Lin Jiaxuan saw July stand up, he hurried over.
I watched her push Lin Jiaxuan away and kick him rudely. Lin Jiaxuan leaned over the railing at the entrance and tried to follow her in, but was stopped by the security guards several times.
She waved to me with her back to me and said "goodbye" softly.
Lin Jiaxuan turned around slowly until he could no longer see Qiyue's back. The moment he saw me, an indescribable emotion flashed in his eyes.
He strode up to me and said bitterly, "Your happiness will be cursed."
That face showed no nostalgia for youthful emotions, only numbness and ruthlessness towards reality. He always believed that I was the one who harmed July, the girl he loved. He was so convinced of this idea that he even denied that we were close friends.
I turned my head away and replied coldly: "It's none of your business."
He jumped up and down anxiously: "I didn't expect you to be such a person. I remember you said you liked me before, which is really disgusting."
My body trembled, I looked at him calmly, and sneered: "Really? Is there such a person? That person may be dead!"
"It's better not to." He curled the corners of his mouth sarcastically, glanced at me, and walked towards the door mercilessly.
My heart felt like a rainstorm. I had been thinking about you day and night for so many years. Even if I was just being sentimental, I never expected that it would come to this.
I blinked my trembling eyelashes and suddenly felt that I had been quite a humiliating person during those years.
The young man in front of me killed my past.
The only person I can't let go is me.
