Chapter 8: If you keep thinking about it, there will be a response Lu Shuang 04
Logically speaking, since I took Yu Nansheng's seat, I should pray that she would not return to the newspaper office. But looking at her seat during this period, I felt very uncomfortable.
Perhaps, in an invisible way, comparing myself with Yu Nansheng also became my motivation to move forward. Because she could become Shen Yuxi's apprentice and gain Shen Yuxi's recognition step by step, but I couldn't, so I was obsessed with surpassing her and gaining recognition. Unconsciously, I gradually understood what a reporter was from a layman.
Thinking of this, I decided to go to S University again.
Yu Nansheng's school is the best university in S City. The campus covers a large area and there are buses in the school. I was dizzy when I first entered. This time I called Yu Nansheng in advance. She said she was still in the library and would come over soon. We agreed to meet at a beverage store near the school gate.
I arrived first, ordered myself an orange juice, and sat in a window seat waiting.
My finances were not so tight during this period. The last bonus was two thousand yuan, Su Xin started working part-time, and Lu Lan got a scholarship because of his good grades, so he didn't have to spend much money during his stay. I finally breathed a sigh of relief and was able to live a good life.
I didn’t expect that I would make it through like this.
When Yu Nansheng came, he was holding a pile of books in his arms. He looked like a hardworking student and was in a hurry to order a drink.
She looked around the store holding the pile of books, then walked towards me.
She looked thinner, her face was too pale, and she had dark circles under her eyes. After all, this incident was a huge blow to her. This is probably how it is for ordinary people who lose their loved ones. Maybe only a very few people are like me, with parents who are almost the same as not having them. I even thought that if I were an orphan , maybe I could live a better life.
"I'm sorry, I've been preparing for the postgraduate entrance exam recently and have been staying in the library, so I'm late. Sorry."
Yu Nansheng sat down in front of me and the book was put aside.
"Take the postgraduate entrance examination? Are you really not planning to return to work in the newspaper?" I frowned.
Yu Nansheng smiled bitterly when he heard this, and folded his hands. He could see that he was struggling with his emotions. Finally, he said, "A lot of things happened during the time you were away. Maybe some of my ideas have changed. You are right. Maybe I don't understand this society at all, nor do I understand the job of a journalist. I thought too beautifully before, but now I think I am sober."
I heard another meaning in her words and took another look at the "A Brief History of European Literature" and "An Outline of Western Literature" beside her...
“You don’t want to study journalism anymore?”
The smile on Yu Nansheng's face looked uglier than crying. She was silent for a while before she spoke: "I was too naive in the past. I thought journalists were heroes who uncovered the truth. I thought too much about this profession and this world. But this incident made me realize that I was wrong. I shouldn't have been so willful in studying journalism and confronting those people. I only thought about not being afraid, but I didn't expect that it would implicate my dad..."
At this point, Yu Nansheng choked up and his eyes turned red: "My father is such a good person, he has never done anything bad. He always told me that good people will be rewarded, so I always asked myself to be a good person, punish evil and promote good. But he died, just because of my stubbornness, because I thought I was dead...
"I don't want to be a reporter anymore. I don't want more people around me to get hurt because of me. I really can't bear it." Yu Nansheng seemed to be trying hard to hold back his tears, but when he got excited, tears still fell desperately.
I looked at her calmly until she finished speaking, then I slowly said, "Yu Nansheng, you are a coward!"
Yu Nansheng seemed to have not expected that I would scold her, and was stunned for a moment. Maybe the people around her have been comforting and encouraging her recently. When a person is so sad and desperate, I still have to criticize her. Sometimes I also feel that my heart is hard.
"Your father's death was just an accident, but you gave up the dream you had been pursuing for so many years because of it. Don't you think you are ridiculous?"
Yu Nansheng's eyes were tinged with anger when he heard this: "Lu Shuang, I know you are stronger than me, smarter than me, and more insightful than me, but I am different from you. I am not a cold-blooded animal. The person who died was my father! How could I... How could I face this job that killed my father like nothing happened ? I can't do it!"
"Do you think that giving up your dream and stagnating is what he wanted to see? He raised you for 20 years and made you a good person who punishes evil and promotes good, but he didn't expect that after his death you would become a coward!" I don't know why, but when I heard that Yu Nansheng changed his major, I felt an inexplicable anger. "Yu Nansheng, do you know? I have always been jealous of you, jealous that you have such a firm dream, jealous that you can be so persistent in pursuing your dream, and jealous that Shen Yuxi has high hopes for you because of this.
"To be honest, I looked down on you at first because you were a spoiled princess who lived in a greenhouse and thought the world outside was black and white. You regarded yourself as a messenger of justice to judge others every day." At this point, I laughed at myself. "But at that time, your heart was at least warm, and at least you could make people around you feel warm and bright. What about you now? Where is your high spirits, sense of justice, and persistence for your dreams?
"I have always regarded you as my rival. If you are so weak that you can't even withstand this little blow, then I will be very disappointed."
“Stop talking!” Yu Nansheng almost yelled. It was rare to see her so broken down.
I know that my words only continue to stimulate her wounds and make her feel miserable, but I also know that her big reaction proves that she still loves the journalism industry.
"Yu Nansheng, don't let me look down on you." After saying this, I got up and left the beverage shop without even finishing my drink.
I have said everything I need to say, and I am not good at counseling others. Leaving at this time can avoid causing arguments.
I don't know if my words can wake her up. In fact, her reaction and thoughts are normal. I just feel it's a pity. For me, I have lost a strong opponent, and for the society, it's also one less good journalist who speaks the truth.
